


Into The Storm

by anddirtyrain, StormChaser1117



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2018-10-29 03:17:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 97,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10845372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anddirtyrain/pseuds/anddirtyrain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormChaser1117/pseuds/StormChaser1117
Summary: This is ‘Into The Storm’ with Lexa Forrest, welcome and hold on.Lexa is a stormchaser (though she prefers the term ‘researcher’) and her Discovery Channel show just keeps getting bigger and bigger. She grew up dreaming about studying the sky, and at 28 she’s at the cusp of her career, reporting to her adoring fanbase all about the indomitable forces of nature. There’s no time for anything -or anyone- else.Clarke is a stormchaser (she has as much tattooed over her ribs) for the local Action News. Whip smart and committed to her research, she lives for the thrill every time the sky thunders. But pushing 26 in this industry has her constantly trying to stay relevant, to outdo herself, running straight into danger to get that perfect shot.Their field of work is small, and their clashing rivalry inevitable and fierce. But Clarke and Lexa are about to realize what they feel for each other can be just as strong and unpredictable as the storms they chase.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I came up with and with the help of anddirtyrain, we are writing this fic together. Hope you like it. We will be updating on Sundays. Please let us know what you think through comments and kudos. Thank you!

* * *

Storms can be deadly.

Tornadoes and hurricanes especially. There’s very little warning before they hit and their power is a magnificent, terrifying thing. The rush and thrill that courses through her when they are in motion is nothing...but heart pounding adrenaline. Almost indescribable.

Lexa has been obsessed with storms for as long as she could remember.

The swirling masses of air and the pure strength they possessed had captured her attention when she was just a child. She can't remember how old she was, only that she’d been allowed an extra hour in front of the TV at the group home, saw the news, and the aftermath of a tornado in a county nearby.

The destruction shocked her. But the thought that nature had been to blame intrigued her more than any of the few toys she possessed.

It grew from there.

Soon it became her escape and her refuge in the group home. And as she grew older, grew past the age where children were adopted and into the age where they simply waited to age out of the system, it ended up more than a strange obsession.

It _became_ a lifeline.

Terrible things happened to foster children without focus or without a path. Storms gave her that. When the other kids hung out at the park or smoked stolen cigarettes in an abandoned parking lot near the home, Lexa took books out of the library. When Anya snuck out, and asked her to tag along, Lexa only snuck into the TV room and turned on the Weather Channel. She became fascinated with studying the weather and learning more about those beautiful, deadly storms and how they worked.

Looking at the logo on the side of her van never fails to make her remember the past. Dark clouds swirl above a pasture in the logo, “ _Natural Disasters with Lexa Forrest”_ written around the circle in stylized letters. As a child, she would have never believed she’d make it here.

She was so lucky when Gustus fostered and then adopted her.

Lexa was thirteen years old and had been in the system for as long as she could remember, when the tall man walked into her group home, sending kids scattering around. Lexa had been sitting near the window, mindless of the cold, looking up at the sky and holding a cheap pair of binoculars in her hands. Gustus had sat next to her, and asked. And he’d cared. He’d seen something in her that day, and not a month later she had a new home and a bedroom of her own. Not to mention an expensive and working telescope.

He encouraged her to pursue her dreams. Taught her to never give up. It was her own determination and grit that got her to where she was, but none of it would have been possible without her father. He gave her the means, the support and the love that she’d never had before.

Strange -or as Gustus would say, _peculiar_ \- interests, aren’t conducive to having a lot of friends.

Anya was the one girl who cared about her, and whom Lexa cared about in return. It was a friendship built from years of sneaking food from the pantry and covering for each other (mostly Lexa lying to protect Anya’s ass) but it was as close to a sister as she had. Anya was her best friend back then, still is. And now, years later, she’s happy too keep being a pain in the ass to her, even on the job.

(Lexa will always tease Anya about how Lexa and only Lexa made it possible for them to work together.)

Lexa pushed herself to be the best -in school, in everything, really. She wanted to prove to herself and to her foster dad that she was worthy of being adopted, worthy of his love, attention and support. She needed to prove that she could be more than just a kid who grew up in the system.  

She graduated top of her class in both high school and college, going on to grad school and getting her PhD at a record age for her state. She could call herself a well respected scientist at the age of twenty eight, and her show -the final step after a lifetime of effort- was only gaining momentum. She’d never cared much for popularity, but Lexa was pleased with the fact the ratings kept growing, and now the show was on it’s third season, it was a household name and one of the biggest draws for the network.

(And if she had to deal with one too many dudebro types asking her to sign their arms, or got annoyed at the insulting, objectifying comments on twitter -then she could deal it. If that was the price to pay for reaching people and teaching them about something she was so passionate about, it was a small one to pay. Plus, she had a van. Not to mention endless resources at her disposal, the dream of any researcher.)

Looking at her reflection in the van, she took in her appearance.

If she was honest with herself, Lexa knew she was attractive. Long curly hair -that she could never bring herself to cut, even if it would be more practical in the middle of a storm-, green eyes and an athletic build from her rigorous workouts gave her an edge. She wasn’t obsessed with her appearance, but she’d always valued a finely tuned machine and her body was just that. These days she was hit on more than she cared for, but after Costia, she didn’t do serious relationships. Her work was too important, and she was at the apex of her career. She was just fine with putting love on the back burner.

Lost in memories, she barely noticed when Lincoln finished loading up the van to make sure they could get into the path of the storm. As always, they were making good time. Lincoln became part of her team when she got her show and they ended up becoming good friends, not just coworkers. He was a big guy with tattoo covered arms and a shaved head,  but he was one of the sweetest people she knew, on top of being a great camera man.

She snapped back into the present when Lincoln slammed the back doors, and yelled for Anya to hurry her ass up. Anya stood by the door with Raven, their arms wrapped around each other. Lexa rolled her eyes, even as she smiled faintly. She was happy for her friend.

“Anya, come on!” she screamed, using the voice that got her nicknamed ‘The Commander’. She was happy for her friend, yes, but she wasn’t about to miss this storm.

“We’re here, all right...” Anya said, pushing her shoulder like she was still twelve. Lexa rolled her eyes again -a by product of hanging around Anya. She was on the cusp of her career, and not many people would question her. Except for Anya. Well, and one particular blonde. Lexa wondered if she would see her today. _Almost_ hoped for it.

“All ready?” Anya asked, walking towards the van with the last bag, Raven in tow.

Lexa nodded.

“Let’s go.

-=-

Clarke was running late.

Which, to be quite honest, was nothing new for her; but she _had_ to be on time today. She couldn’t let that woman get the best of her once again. Clarke had always had a bit of a competitive streak, and she was never better than when she compared herself to others. It drove her to prove she was just as good and talented and smart. Although a questionable incentive, it did it’s job. She knew she wanted more than what her current job offered, and she just needed to prove to herself and others that she was capable and deserving of it.

Constantly being late was the not the way to do it. _Shit._

Clarke rushed around, trying to get all the equipment in the truck while Octavia hurried behind her.

“Did you get the 50mm lens?” Octavia asked her, closing the trunk.

"What?! I thought you were getting that?”

“Clarke! I asked you to!”

“No, you didn’t. Damn it. Let’s just go! We can do without it.”

“Fine,” Octavia snapped back before climbing into the passenger seat. Clarke jumped into the driver’s seat and bolted before they were even buckled. She sped, weaving through the light traffic -most cars drove away from the storm instead of toward it like her. Knowing she was behind schedule already, she had to get in front of the storm before it really started, or she’d be screwed and Forrest would win this one.

Clarke would be _damned_ if that happened again.

She stepped down on the gas, and finally saw the swirling clouds in the distance.

The familiar rush invaded her when she eyed the formation and her mouth lifted in a half smile. She was ready.

She had wanted this since she was fifteen. It wasn’t her dream at first but... things happened and plans changed. This is what she decided she wanted to do with her life. Clarke didn’t regret it, especially in times like this, when the air tasted of thunder and she was so close to the force of mother nature she could feel it. Static crackled above them, curled around them inside the car, and Clarke turned to Octavia only to see the excitement in her eyes mirrored her own.

And then she saw the familiar van already parked in the distance. Shit.

The obnoxious blue thing was hard to ignore. Clarke didn’t think she could forget the first time she saw it even if she wanted to.

 _“_ _Who are you and what are you doing on my area?”_

_Clarke looked up from her equipment when the sunlight was suddenly obscured, only to meet defiant green eyes flaring like their own sun. It took her breath away for just a minute. She recovered quickly._

_“As far as I know the street is public.”_

_“This is my area. My team and I-”_

_“I have a team too, if that’s the requirement,” she fired back. Clarke thought she and Octavia hardly counted as a team, they were more like a duet, but Lexa didn’t know that. They were a team with Raven, but Forrest stole her. Discovery Channel my ass._

_And of course Clarke knew who she was. Any self-respecting stormchaser has heard of Lexa Forrest. But Clarke had only seen her from afar. Only spoken about her in the context of a few drinks and discussing the work of a fellow stormchaser -a popular, mainstream- stormchaser. Clarke admired her. She had heard the rumors about the stick in her ass, but didn’t believe them but then she took Raven. And now to top it off, she’s met her. It’s not admiration anymore._

_“I’m in charge here,” Lexa said, lifting her chin. Clarke knew a show of dominance when she saw one, but she wasn’t about to back down. “You’re not allowed to-”_

_“You don’t tell me what I am allowed to do or not,” Clarke told her. “Now, I’ve got a tornado to catch.” She turned around, back towards her truck._

_“Wait! Who are you?”_

_Clarke smiled to herself, content to know even the great Lexa Forrest needed to satisfy her curiosity._

_“Griffin. Clarke Griffin.”_

_Clarke walked away with the smile still on her face. It was swiftly wiped off when Octavia slapped her shoulder, making Clarke scoff._

_“What the hell was that for?”_

_“Griffin, Clarke Griffin?” Octavia mocked her. “What are you, James Bond?”_

_Clarke pushed Octavia away, begging her cheeks not to flush._

_“It’s just -who does she think she is?” She asked, settling in her seat and buckling her seatbelt for a bumpy ride._

_“Um, only Lexa Forrest? Who I’m pretty sure we both admire-”_

_“Well, not anymore. Now buckle up, no way I’m letting her have this.”_

The memory faded as she got closer and closer to the site, but what she felt that day certainly didn’t. Annoying your direct competitors and proving you were better than them was the spice of life and all that jazz. She parked the truck.

From this distance, Clarke felt Lexa's eyes on her and it made her heart skip a beat, but she ruthlessly pushed it down. The woman was gorgeous, sure, but Clarke had no time to entertain less-than-pure thoughts about someone she couldn’t stand.

Octavia laughed next to her, looking at her phone, and Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“Who are you texting literally minutes before a possible tornado?” she asked, and Octavia looked up, seeming...guilty?

“Nobody,” she said quickly. “And I don’t think we’ll get one of those bad boys today. Maybe a funnel cloud at most.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Clarke said, and jumped out of the truck. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

-=-

Lexa recognized the truck speeding towards them, and she smiled despite herself. She wasn’t fond of Griffin, God forbid, but the woman certainly made her work a bit more interesting.  

“What?” she asked, noticing Lincoln’s eyes on her. He didn’t said anything, just smiled and shook his head. “Seriously, what?” Lexa didn’t like feeling out of the loop.

“Maybe it’s got something to do with that stupid smile on your face,” Anya said, as she returned to the van for just a second to get a wrench for Raven. They ran around getting the BMF ready to go. (Broad Multi-element Feed.)

Or, as Anya called it (and which she swore was the right acronym): the Badass Motherfucker.

The machine even had its own twitter account, thanks to a few of her most faithful viewers. It would be put in the path of the tornado so it could record valuable information regarding speed and temperature, not to mention astonishing shots of the inside of such a destructive force. It was absolutely perfect for the show.

It was Raven’s creation and her baby. Not to mention one of the main reasons Raven came to work with Lexa and her team. She’d confessed to it during a drunken night of celebration. Simply put, Lexa’s program had the budget to make the machine a reality, unlike the news station.

And Lexa _hated_ to see talent go to waste.

(She didn’t know it then, but offering Raven -an impressively young engineer- a job, had been her first black mark on Clarke Griffin’s book, even if they hadn’t actually met each other yet.) Clarke, who was just arriving. Shocker.

Lexa turned away from watching the truck as the wind picked up. The funnel clouds tightened, and Lexa was sure a tornado would be touching ground right here, right now. She rushed around the van to grab her gear and yell at Raven and Anya to hurry up and get the device in place. She whipped around when she heard tires squeal behind her.

She knew that the blonde had finally arrived.

“You’re late as usual,” Lexa snapped, as she went to get in place before it became too unsafe.

Clarke whipped out her hand and snatched her arm before she could get away. Lexa bristled. She was never one to be touchy-feely. If it was her own nature or a result of too many kids at the group home growing up, she didn’t know, but she knew she didn’t like it.

Clarke _clearly_ had no such qualms.

“I _might_ be a _little_ late,” Clarke said. “But I’m pretty sure I can still do a better job than you,”  Lexa rolled her eyes. The taunt was so childish, the bait so easy to take. She almost felt twelve again. Clarke’s blonde hair flowed freely in the harsh wind, and Lexa rolled her eyes. Couldn’t she at least put it back in a ponytail?  "Just you watch,” Clarke smirked, and then winked at Lexa.

Lexa jerked her arm out of her grasp, perhaps a bit stronger than the situation intended, but Clarke had a way of throwing her completely off balance. It wasn’t just her words, those she could deal it, it was the way she looked at her. Very, very few people _challenged_ Lexa head on like that.

“First of all, don’t touch me, heaven knows where those hands have been,” she said. Clarke rolled her eyes. ‘ _Mature_ ’ she mouthed. “Second of all,” Lexa stepped forward, getting into Clarke’s space and relishing the moment where the woman took a step back. “You’ll never be better than me. But, you know, you can keep telling yourself that while I go do my job and you stay here, trying to get that hot wheels truck of yours to stay rooted to the ground.”

And if she ached to turn around and see if Clarke was watching her go, Lexa didn’t show it.

-=-

Clarke scoffed, but couldn’t resist watching her leave.

It was one hell of a view, she could admit that.  She finally pulled herself away from her ogling and ran back to the truck to grab her stuff, knowing she needed to get closer to the funnel that was forming. Lexa might have had all the fancy equipment, but Clarke knew she had something the other woman lacked.

_Guts._

She’d be just fine, like always. Just herself, Octavia and a camera.

She hoped Lexa would see them and learn a thing or two. But it wasn’t just about her. Every time, Clarke was proving herself that she could do this. She’d been on the job for a while, but sometimes doubts still crept in. Doubts that only the strong wind and the smell of rain could abate.  

Her mother never believed in her. She treated Clarke’s career choice like a dream until she actually went ahead and got a degree in Atmospheric Chemistry and Climatology. Then, she didn’t support her choice. It hurt  far more than Clarke let on.

She couldn’t blame her. Her mother was terrified of losing her to the dangers of the job. She had wanted Clarke to become a doctor or even an artist, but Clarke never wanted that as a career. Art was just a hobby.

This _was_ her passion.

“O, we need to get closer. Let’s go,” She pulled Octavia along as she noticed the funnel forming rapidly. O gripped her arm trying to stop her.

“Clarke, it’s not safe, we need to stay back,” Octavia told her, gripping her camera like Clarke might try to grab it and make a run for it (not like she’d done that before). Clarke looked back. Lexa and her crew were already retreating after planting their equipment. "The funnel is touching the ground, we need to get our footage and get the hell outta here."

“O, I just need-”

Octavia grabbed her arm.

“You have nothing to prove!” she said, firmly, and Clarke almost didn’t hear over the growing sound of the wind,  “Now, let’s go.”

“We just need to get closer, just for a few minutes,” Clarke insisted, thinking that if her goddamn ratings were anything to go by, then she did have something to prove. “Relax, it will be fine,” She told Octavia -and herself- willing it to be true.

She got into position, while Octavia started the camera with a scowl.

Clarke backed up further, getting even closer to the source of the strong winds. She knew the danger was real, but Lexa and her crew were already packed up and driving away from the epicenter. This shot was hers for the taking. She knew the danger was huge, but she wasn’t scared.

She couldn’t afford to be.

The wind whipped her hair so fast it stung her cheeks, so she grabbed a black beanie from her jacket pocket and quickly pulled it on. Octavia put her hand up, her fingers counting down. _Five, Four._

Clarke glanced behind her, noticing the now fully formed tornado. It was rapidly getting closer and though she’d never admit to anyone but herself...fear sliced through her almost as swift as the cold wind.

She looked over at Lexa and her crew, who now were at a much safer distance. She was closer and would be able to get better coverage. She tried to focus on that. _Three. Two._

With the terror came the thrill and that made it all worth it.

_One._

-=-

Lexa tried again, but stumbled through her initial greeting for the third time.

“Cut!” Anya yelled above the sound of the wind. “Again, Lexa, come on!”

Lexa looked back. She couldn’t focus properly on the task at hand when she saw the wheels of Clarke’s meager truck lift of the ground an inch before falling back down. They were too close. They were going to get caught in it.

“Lexa, focus!” Anya yelled. “Again!”

They had a very small window of opportunity before they would be in danger as the tornado touched down, Lexa knew this. They had minutes only so they got their footage and the device in place before packing up as quickly as they could.  Raven and Anya had scrambled around getting the device ready, and Lincoln had quickly prepared the cameras, and the whole time Lexa just stood there, wondering why in the hell Clarke wasn’t moving.

She still wondered that, seeing as Clarke actually starts fucking recording a few meters in front of the tornado. _What the fuck is she thinking?_ She was putting herself and her partner in danger. She couldn’t believe that the blonde would be that stupid.

“Lexa”

She turned back around, her back to the train wreck waiting to happen, and grabbed her microphone so tight her knuckles ached.

“Go!” Anya directed.

“This is Natural Disasters. I’m Lexa Forrest and we’re in front of what appears to be...We are looking at a…Fuck!” She pushed her microphone back into Anya’s hands and sprinted back to where they’d come from.

Back to where Clarke was.

It only took her a minute to make it, however the last few steps felt like a fight against gravity -or the lack of it. The wind was too strong.

She sprinted over to the pair only to see that Octavia was already arguing with Clarke that they needed to leave. Clarke glared at her partner, and Lexa couldn’t help but stare at the woman, blonde hair whipping in the wind even with the beanie, blue eyes fierce and intense. She was breathtaking.

And then she noticed Lexa.

“What the hell do you want?” Clarke bit out.

Nevermind.

Lexa might be perpetually annoyed at the woman, but she wasn’t willing to have her death on her conscience.

“You need to move, Clarke, _now_. The tornado is too close, we have minutes if that.”

“I’m doing my job.”

“Your job isn’t to get killed!” Lexa exclaimed, her frustration reaching a boiling point. “So stop being so damn stubborn and let's  _go,_ ” She let common sense go as she reached for her, but Clarke recoiled.

Fine, so be it.

Lexa turned around hoping to God they followed. She felt them behind her as they started sprinting back to their respective vehicles.

Only Lexa’s was too far away. She’d never make it running.

“Come on!” Clarke exclaimed, and then Lexa’s hand was in hers, as the woman dragged her to her truck. Octavia got into the driver’s seat while she and Clarke slipped in the back. They teared out of there as if the hounds from hell were chasing them.

They were now trying to get away from the storm instead of heading into it.

Anya was already behind the wheel when Clarke’s truck drove by them. She saw her crew following them in the van through the back mirror, and it let Lexa breathe easier.

They ended up pulling over on the side of the road about ten minutes later, once the tornado was a good enough distance away. Octavia got out of the truck, leaving them alone in the car.

Lexa’s heart still pounded.

“That was a stupid thing you did back there,” she said, “Like, more monumentally stupid than usual.”

“I got what I needed,” Clarke said in a monotone.

“And? That’s it? You could’ve gotten killed!” Lexa exclaimed. She enjoyed the thrill of her job, too, but she’d never had a death wish the way Clarke seemed to.

“So? You care about me now? That’s a new development.”

“That’s what you got from that? I knew you were blonde but-”

“You can’t tell me how to run my show.”

“Is it really worth it to get killed over a freaking spot on the 6 o’clock news?”

“As opposed to the great Lexa Forrest and her show? I knew you were full of yourself, but I didn't realize how much.”

“You’re impossible,” Lexa told her, running a hand through her hair. There were bigger things than their stupid competitions.

“I would’ve been just fine,” Clarke insisted, and Lexa furiously opened the door, jumping out of the vehicle.

“You don’t know that, you childish, hard-headed idiot!”

“Who the hell do you think you-”

Lexa slammed the door closed, relishing cutting Clarke off in the middle of her sentence. A ‘you’re welcome’ would have sufficed. Maybe even an acknowledgement that there was actual, adrenaline-inducing, heart pounding danger behind them. But as always, Clarke did not act like she expected. Lexa stomped toward her van, where Anya, Raven and Lincoln waited, all with raised eyebrows.

Lexa didn’t often resort to insults, but her blood boiled, the excitement and fear and thrill of the past minutes combining into too many emotions fighting to get out.

“You okay?” Lincoln asked.

“Yeah,” she answered.

“Great, wouldn’t want the moneymaker to fucking die now, would we?” Anya asked, her voice clipped, and Lexa realized she hadn’t been the only one worried. “What were you thinking?” Anya asked.

 _I wasn’t,_ Lexa thought.

“I couldn’t let her get killed, now, could I?” she said instead.

“Are you out of your fucking mind? You could have gotten yourself killed, but obviously that didn’t matter to you! Damn it, Lexa,” Anya went to shove her, but Raven reached out and held her back. Lexa took a step back. She would never admit it though. “You only had eyes for blondie, fuck the rest of us right?” Anya pulled out of Raven’s arms and stomped away to the van, slamming the door behind her.

Lincoln and Raven both gave her disapproving looks before Raven finally spoke up, “You messed up and you know it. Clarke is my best friend so I do appreciate what you did,  but Anya is right and I’m not just saying that because she’s my girlfriend. You didn’t think and you scared not just Anya, but all of us. Think about that.”

“I know,” Lexa's shoulders sagged with the weight of the last few minutes and the worry she unknowingly caused. She hated admitting that she messed up, but she put her team in danger and they were her responsibility. She watched as Raven headed to the van to check on her girlfriend. Lexa felt an unexpected twinge of envy.

Lincoln continued to stand there silently before nodding his head, saying more with the one look than any words he might have said. He had always been the more silent, stoic type since she met him. She nodded her head to show she understood before he patted her gently on the shoulder and walked away.

Left alone, Lexa waited outside for a few moments trying to get her emotions in check. She never meant to worry her team, especially Anya.  She was the last person she ever meant to worry.  Damn it. All because of Clarke, with her blonde hair and blue eyes and stupid, ridiculously dangerous ideas. She was equal to any tornado Lexa had ever encountered. They both just _pulled_ you in and didn’t let you go.

She didn’t need to play hero, they weren’t friends, hell they weren’t even acquaintances. Why risk her life for hers? Fuck. She didn’t want to think about that right now.

She climbed into the van and they took off back to the office in complete silence. She settled back for the long drive, knowing she owed her team an apology. But it was one she couldn’t articulate just yet.

-=-

Clarke sat stunned there for a moment. Lexa just cut her off, slammed the door in her face and left. She was still processing. She’d never seen such emotion out of the usually controlled, collected woman. She didn’t even realize the brunette had the audacity to do something like that and yet she dared call her immature.  Who was being immature now? (Clarke realized, perhaps it was her, if the way she ran their conversation or lack thereof through her head was any indication.)

She was surprised with Lexa. That seemed to be a running theme for the day.  The woman had just risked her life for her. Maybe she actually did care. Not that it mattered.

She could see Octavia leaning against the truck, arms crossed defiantly, her face set in her signature scowl. Clarke could feel a fight coming with her the way she swore she could sense if a storm would pick up or die down.  She braced herself for it as she clambered out of the truck.  

They stood in silence for a few moments, but Clarke felt the anger radiating off her best friend enough that words weren’t needed. Octavia was angry. And more often than not, her moods sparked Clarke’s own temper. She was never one to back down, but neither was Octavia.

“Just spit it out, O. We don’t have all day,” Clarke said. She knew she was in the wrong, even if she wasn’t ready to admit it, to accept the reasons she was so careless lately, but she was never good with this type of tension. “I know you’re pissed so let’s get it over with,” she finally snapped, hoping to goad O into getting it over with. Octavia didn’t fall for it.

Clarke mirrored her posture and leaned against the truck, sighing. She couldn’t take the tense silence, but Octavia loved to drag it out.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Octavia turned to look straight at her, blue eyes staring daggers.

“You almost got us fucking killed. What the _fuck_ were you thinking?” Before Clarke could even stammer a reply, she barreled on, “You were reckless today, way more than normal. You didn’t just risk your own life. You risked mine and Lexa’s.”

“That wasn’t my intention, O, you should know me better than that. I just wanted some good footage and that’s exactly what we got! It was spectacular!” She couldn’t help the way her tone went up as she tried to make her see what she saw. “This job requires risks. You knew that before you agreed to be on my team,” she said.

“I thought I knew you,” Octavia said. “But lately you're different. This isn’t what I signed up for. Some danger’s part of the job, yeah,” Octavia granted her, “But you go looking for it. You’re walking a fine line, Clarke, and it could end up getting you hurt or worse.” Octavia took a deep breath. “Not to mention…” She locked eyes with Clarke. “You’re also endangering _my life_ and the other team’s by extension with your theatrics.”

Clarke sighed, knowing her friend was right, but refusing to admit it out loud just yet.

She knew what she did was stupid and reckless, but the adrenaline she felt...nothing could top that. Still, Clarke knew risking her life was one thing, but risking her best friend’s and even Lexa’s was one step too far. She should have thanked Lexa, but didn’t. Clarke should have listened to Octavia, but her pride stopped her. She was making mistakes and she knew it.

She should start righting them.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke looked at her friend, hoping the remorse she felt was reflected in her eyes. Octavia relaxed slightly. “I never meant to risk anyone’s life,” Clarke told her, “I just wanted the shot,” She more than wanted it, she needed it. Her career depended on it, “Can we go, please? We have a lot of work left to do.”

Octavia rolled her eyes, but nodded. Clarke could tell her friend was still upset but, the corner of her mouth lifted and Clarke knew she was on her path to being forgiven -though it wouldn’t happen just yet.

Octavia was almost as stubborn as she was, that hadn’t changed since the day they met. Clarke had stolen Octavia’s chocolate milk, which resulted in a slap and a promise to be friends forever. That had been in kindergarten.

They disagreed more often than not, but their friendship was strong and made even stronger when Raven joined them, making their twosome a trio.

They both jumped into the truck to get back to the station. It was a long drive, but luckily most of the tension had disappeared between them. Otherwise the drive would be even more miserable than it already was going to be, in their small truck with the air conditioner that kept going out.

Clarke sat quietly in the passenger seat of the poor, beat up thing. She knew how stupid she was being, but _knew_ she wouldn’t and couldn’t change it. She needed better ratings, and she would do whatever she had to in order to achieve that goal. She needed to, because she’d worked too hard for this job, to get to where she is. She’d clawed her way up, and it was too soon to see her dream go crumbling down.

And today...She knew she’d gotten some amazing footage and _maybe_ , just maybe, that made the _risk_ worth it.

This time.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Lexa’s office was bright and open, with multiple windows and a skylight that provided lots of natural light.

She needed it that way, the space and the cool colors helped her think. Granted, it wasn’t as organized as it normally was right now. Stacks of books littered the corners of the floor, shelves and desks. Her walls were covered with data and charts, taped beside her framed degree and PhD. A reminder of her accomplishments besides the current proof of her effort.

Two desks with multiple computer monitors were pushed against the wall, there was equipment scattered across the room, and a black leather couch against the far wall that was used as her bed more often than not.

She’d done _some_ of her best work inside these four walls.

The network’s building was great in itself, too, state of the art equipment and decent security at the door. It was close to a few fast food joints, not to mention another network and the local news channel building. (Griffin. Sometimes she forgot _how_ close it was to Griffin.) But in her opinion it only made the differences between them more blatant. Either way, Lexa didn’t want to think about it.

She and the team had gotten back late -or far too early- depending on how they looked at it. She was tired, and her knees popped as she walked. But Lexa had still dragged her feet, gone into her office and gotten started with the new day’s work. There was always so much to do after a shoot. Deadlines to meet, scripts to write. She sat on the edge of her chair now, gingerly rubbing her forehead.

Lexa knew she had work to do, but still decided to take this _one_ moment for herself. She was rudely interrupted though when Anya threw open the door, making it clatter against the wall.

Her ass hit the ground.

Lexa looked up and glared at the intrusion before laughing at the craziness of it, which broke the last dregs of tension as Anya laughed so hard, she had to hold her stomach. Maybe she was even more tired than she thought, if she was falling out of chairs. Anya calmed down finally and helped Lexa up before sitting down on the couch.

“Where do you want to start?” Anya asked before booting up the computers.

Lexa smiled, knowing that they almost were okay again. She went to say something about it, tease her, maybe, but Anya stopped her with a look. Maybe not as okay yet, then. Lexa kept her mouth shut.

“The footage is nearly done transferring. Once it’s up, can you start organizing it to edit it later?”

Anya nodded. Once it was done, she got to work, while Lexa started going over her notes and theories, trying to organize her thoughts with the information they gathered.

Separating the footage into separate folders was tedious, but it helped when they went to put it all together for their episodes. The network had badgered Lexa for weeks to get herself a proper editing team, but she argued that she was like a director with any movie, and so she had to see it through to the very end. Besides, they get help when they need to, and Anya didn’t mind the extra paycheck.

They’d been at it for a couple hours when Raven walked in. Or ‘came barging in’ would be a more appropriate description. The sound of the door bouncing off the wall always made Lexa scowl, but she was actually grateful for the break. Lexa would never admit it though, as she wouldn’t be able to live it down.

She’d built her entire career on never needing rest.

Anya just smirked as Raven made her way to her and sat down in her lap instead of the couch.

“How’s it going Commander?” Raven asked, settling back as Anya wrapped her arms around her waist.

Lexa rolled her eyes at her before turning back around, effectively ignoring the lovebirds.

It reminded her too much of Costia, if she was honest with herself, of long nights and dashed hopes and how naive she was when she was younger, to think that she could have everything.

How stupid was she? 

“What’s got her panties in a twist?” Raven questioned Anya, right before kissing her. Lexa could hear the sound of it. She shook her head. They were shameless. “Oh, let me guess,” Lexa turned back only to see Raven smiling devilishly. “Does it have anything to do with a blue eyed, blonde by the name of Clarke?”

Raven started cackling when Lexa whipped her head back around at the mention of her name. She didn’t have time for this childish behaviour.

“There’s nothing wrong,” she said. “And even if there was, it _would_ have nothing to do with her. I have more important things to do than worry about th-th-the likes….the likes of someone like her," Lexa closed her eyes, tight, and rubbed her forehead. Lexa hated when she stuttered. She used to do it all the time when she was a kid, and now only did it when she was overly tired.

Lexa turned her chair around, sat back and faced them. She knew she wasn’t getting any more work done today. Lexa saw Anya nudge her girlfriend to stop laughing. She turned to look at Lexa.

“You sure about that, Lex? You can’t stop talking about her. You always watch her when we run into her. Hell, you risked your life today for her,” Lexa rolls her eyes again, a side-effect of hanging around Anya and Raven.

Anya propped her chin up on her girlfriend’s shoulder, and Lexa suddenly felt ganged up on. “I think Raven’s right, you have a crush on Blondie.”

Lexa sighed.

“I did what anyone else would do in that situation,” she tells them. “And I definitely don’t have anything as... _childish,_ as a crush on Griffin. She is infuriating! She thinks she’s better than everyone else, which is actually ridiculous considering her equipment is from the turn of the century,”  Lexa was glad that they seemed to have moved on from her earlier stunt, but did not like where this conversation was going. She had better things to do than entertain her almost-sister and her cheeky girlfriend. “Liking her like...that? That’s laughable. Besides, I don’t have time for any of that, you know that. And even if I did, it wouldn’t be with that insufferable-”

“Sounds like you’re describing yourself,” Anya sassed back. Lexa thought maybe it sounded like she was explaining herself too much, and she hated it. “You two are more alike than either of you want to admit.”

Anya sat back in her chair, taking Raven with her. The woman laid her head on Anya’s shoulder with a soft, content smile.

Lexa watched them for a moment, and a pang of _longing_ surprised her. Maybe she missed that after all.

“Even if we are alike, isn’t that exactly why we’ll never be more than rivals? There’s only room for one of us, and I’ve obviously taken the spot," Lexa didn’t like sounding so full of herself, but it was the truth. “Besides, I can’t stand her,” Argument after argument against the girl popped up in her head, like a petty game of whack-a-mole, and she was powerless to stop them, “She pushes things too far. She doesn’t know when to stop,” She's ticked off with her fingers, “She's reckless, stubborn, and just….annoying.” She crossed her arms, “Bordering on stupid. _I_ have a degree and a PhD-”

“She has a degree too, Lexa,” Raven said sharply, all joking gone from her face. “She may not have a PhD, but she’s smart and good at what she does too. I’m not just saying that as her friend either,” Raven stared daggers at her, stopping Lexa in her tracks from saying just that. “I’d rather you not bash my friend when I’m in the room. I happen to like you and consider you a friend, but I won’t tolerate you saying shit like that about Clarke. It’s one thing when we’re teasing you and you two have your whole archenemies thing going on, but...she’s done _nothing_ for you to insult her like that,” She sighed and got up from Anya’s lap. She leaned down to kiss her before leaving. “See you later babe,” she whispered.

Lexa looked away.

Anya smiled tensely at her before Raven nodded at her and walked out the door without a backward glance.

Lexa watched her walk out before she had a chance to respond. She put her head in her hands, wondering if she was going to do anything right today. She was supposed to be the responsible one here, the one that takes care of everyone and keep things in check, and she failed at that.  Lexa wasn’t trying to be spiteful or mean. She was just voicing her thoughts. But apparently it was too late and her thoughts were scrambled up and getting her in trouble. She could feel Anya’s eyes on her, so she raised her head and looked at her best friend, feeling a lecture coming on.  

“We were just teasing, Lex,” Anya told her, shrugging. “Clarke is one of Raven’s best friends. You know that, so why the hell would you go on a rant like that? If you don’t like her, that’s fine, but you need to apologize to my girlfriend because you were an ass.”

“Just add that to my list of screwups for the day,” she said bitterly. Lexa sighed. “Look, I didn’t mean to be...so offensive. Griffin just...frazzles my nerves and, to be honest...maybe I don’t want to admit that she is almost as good as me,” Lexa said the last part so softly that she almost thought Anya wouldn’t be able to hear it. “If she can do everything I can even with all the resources she’s lacking, then how good am I...really?” Lexa shrugged, “Do I really deserve all this?” she asked, waving her hands at the large room they were in with anything and everything she could possibly need or want.

A poster from their second season looked back at her from one of the walls, her face frozen in a mixture of elation and excitement, a tornado behind her. It was all photoshopped, of course, but the photographer had asked her to think like she was seeing her first tornado, and to react accordingly. And then that picture was snapped. She worked hard to be here, Lexa knew that, she was proud of that. She deserved it, she knew that as well. But if someone else deserved it, too, then was part of this success _just_ luck? Lexa never did well with luck or chance, she'd always _preferred_ statistics.

Anya getting up pulled her out of her own head.

Her friend just hugged her, and kissed the top of her head while she did so. Lexa smiled against her stomach like she did when she was little. Anya was always the taller one.

“I know, Lex. I know,” Anya sighed and stepped back. “I'm going home to get some sleep.  You should too. We'll finish everything later.”

Lexa didn't answer for a moment, and then nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you later. I'll leave soon,” Lexa knew that wasn't true and by Anya’s expression, she knew as well, but neither commented on it.  

Once Anya left,  Lexa tried working,  but she found it too hard to _focus_ with everything on her mind. Nothing good ever came from being distracted while she worked. Lexa decided to try and get some rest first. She rubbed the back of her neck as she walked to well worn, well loved couch in the room. She took her shoes off before laying back on it, a staple of her post-shoot nights. It wasn't hard on her back anymore.

She would _delve_ into everything once again after sleeping a few hours. She was out as soon as her head hit the arm of the couch.

-=-

“Hey Griffin! I see you didn’t get blown away.”

“Not this time, Todd,” Clarke told him, swerving around one of her co-workers to avoid getting their coffee spilled on her shirt.

“Who ate my lunch?! It had my name on it,” someone yelled from the break room.

“Get me a coffee, will you?” Daniel asked.

“I did it last time!” break room individual yelled back.

Clarke rolled her eyes. The floor was loud and messy as usual, a few people burning the midnight oil for far too little pay, and these days it was a flip of a coin whether she felt like she’s coming back 'home' or because she felt _trapped_. Lately, it’s been a lot of the latter.

Her office, if she can even call it that, had to be shared with two other people because the channel didn't have a big enough budget for them each to have their own.  Which is fine, Clarke could understand that. But there was no forgiveness for the two desks crammed on one side, their shitty chairs that gave her a back ache half the time, along with a termite-infested bookshelf that they often had to clean themselves. A couple of computers sat in the corner, but nothing high quality. Or of any quality, really. Half the time, they didn't even work. The channel refused to replace anything. At this point, Clarke was too _afraid_ to ask. 

She sighed walking into the office with Octavia, knowing with it being so late, at least their space would be empty, which she was extremely grateful for. As soon as the door closed, the sounds disappeared.  The one plus, the station at least they had thick walls.

She’d been using her own money to buy better equipment, which she didnt keep in the office for obvious reasons. She didn’t think her co-workers were bad people, but if they could steal sandwiches and pens, even the occasional cell phone, she didn’t want her cameras at work- What a dichotomy. She just liked her equipment, what little of it she could afford and what -even less- the channel could give. For her last birthday she treated herself to a new camera, a pistol grip tripod, and a window camera mount, just to name a few. Her Nikon d5200 was her cold, metal baby.  

And those were just some of the essentials she needed to do her job well.  Regardless of what anyone thought about her upon first seeing her, she was dedicated and passionate about her job even with her own personal reasons. She grumbled a lot about the shitty working environment, but she would never leave. Unless she was kicked out -but she tried not to think about that. She didn’t just do it for the thrill, or for the -admittedly very small- amount of fame that came with it. There was more to it. The tattoo over her ribs, reading ‘stormchaser’, was testament enough that this wasn’t _fleeting_ for her.

It was her life. It was dedication and effort and passion, and she loved it, even with the bumps in the road -and her shitty chair.

Clarke sat down and got to work.

It was her responsibility, not only to come up with new content, write it and shoot it, but also to edit it and get it ready in time with Octavia’s help. Clarke felt stretched too thin most days.

An hour went by, and then two, before she decided to take a small break before continuing to go over her footage. At least her little stunt had been worth it. It looked amazing. She wouldn’t get a call concerning ratings, or people tuning out at half-hours (when her segment aired).

Not this time.

She leaned back in the uncomfortable chair trying to stretch out the many knots she had in her back and shoulders.

Not even ten minutes passed before she leaned over her desk and started going through the footage again, cutting the best parts for her segment.  She saw clearly in the screen just how up close and personal she’d gotten. The funnel was so much closer than she'd anticipated. It made her feel guilty for a split second, thinking that she endangered herself and O.  But knowing _just_ how close she came to being seriously injured, or even dying, was nothing new lately so she brushed it off.

She was determined to make her segment as good as it could be, better than amateur youtubers, better _even_ than Lexa Forrest herself. She was thankful the woman had stopped her when she was too blinded to stop herself, but now that she had the footage she would put it to good use. She wanted to prove to her boss, her co-workers, the channel, and to Lexa herself, that they were _wrong_ about her.

She wasn't just a dumb blonde. Lack of resources didn’t have to make or break her craft. She’d been proving that since she started, and she wasn’t about to stop now.  

Octavia sat across from her, her feet propped on the desk, rolling her eyes while texting on her phone. She should’ve been working, but Clarke didn’t want another fight. When O’s phone whistled for the third time, though, she looked away from the computer and stared at her hard.

“Who are you texting?” she snapped.

Octavia looked up in surprise.

“Huh, what? Nobody important.”

“Obviously they are since you can’t stop smiling,” she said, her irritation dissolving as she saw the happiness on her friend’s face, “So... who is it?”

“Nobody you know,” Octavia told her, but the way she winced told Clarke there was more to the story, “Just a guy I met. That’s all.”

Clarke smiled slightly, and shook her head.

“Fine, keep your secret for now, but I want to meet this guy soon. I need to make sure he passes the best friend test,” She nudged Octavia, “And that he stops _keeping you from work,_ ” she added before turning back to the computer.

Octavia raised her hands in surrender, and pulled up her chair to their working area. Clarke smiled.

She was glad the tension had mostly evaporated. They always fought, they couldn’t help it, but usually their fights didn’t last long before things went back to normal.

Things were still different, they had been since Raven left the team, and Clarke didn’t think they’ll ever get back to how it was. They couldn't even agree on Raven’s decision. Octavia had supported Raven from the start, while it had hit Clarke harder. She’d seen it as a betrayal. It had been six months since Raven left, but it still felt as _though_ it was yesterday.

“So…” Octavia shot her a look. “Are you going tell me why you were so hellbent on showing up Lexa?”

Clarke glared at her. She didn’t want to talk about her any more because she already _couldn’t_ get Lexa off her mind. And if she was honest with herself, it wasn’t solely because of what the woman had done for her.

Lexa just had an effect on people.

“You already know, we’ve been over this before,” Clarke told her, “It’s because she thinks that since she has a PhD and her own show that it automatically means that nobody _will_ be as good as her and I want to prove her wrong,” she recited, almost robotically. It felt a bit like rehearsed choreography at this point.

“I can understand that, but why just her?” Octavia asked, “I mean, she isn’t the first stormchaser we’ve ran into before, Clarke. So what makes her so different?”

Clarke shrugged.

“I just can’t stand her and her superior attitude. She just….ugh.” She swiveled her screeching chair around to face Octavia. Lexa had always annoyed her, from their very first meeting. She thought being two women in this profession would mean they had something in common, but there was none of that rah-rah-support! Clarke had expected to find. The woman was a robot. Clarke shook her head, “I just can’t be around her. She is always so in control and so cold. Almost...detached, in a way. Plus she’s always glaring at me like I shouldn’t be there!” Clarke exclaimed, getting out like she was still in middle school. “It’s like she thinks I'll never measure up to her. Tell me again, why did I ever admire her?”  Clarke couldn’t keep the _bite_ out of her tone as she crossed her arms defensively and blew out a breath. She honestly didn’t remember anymore. Never meet your heroes.

“You admired her because she’s fantastic at what she does and because she’s hot,” Octavia told her succinctly. “You even said so yourself,” A shit eating grin spread across her best friend’s face. “I’m straight and even _I_ can tell she’s smokin hot. I mean, wow.”

Clarke couldn’t believe what she just heard. She hated that she felt almost jealous that someone else noticed how hot she was, even if it was her best friend. She wasn’t one of those frat boys tweeting about Lexa Forrest, or comparing her assets in social media. And yet...

“Apparently I was delusional back then, because after meeting her, she’s nothing like what I thought she’d be…” She was more, but Clarke didn’t say that out loud. Even smarter, even more beautiful -but her attitude? Yeah, no.

“You still think she’s hot, admit it.”

“Okay, so _maybe_ she is gorgeous and totally my type,” Clarke cringed at her own words, “But that would never, ever happen. I can’t have a relationship with someone I can’t stand. That’s against the whole point of dating. Besides, things can’t be just physical. Her personality? Yeah, no, I don’t like her like that,” Clarke turned away knowing that wasn’t true. She’d always had a thing for ice princesses, although she’d never actually gone for it with any of the type. She knew it wouldn’t end well for her.

“You totally have a crush on her,” Octavia teased. “And from what I know of her and what Raven says, she’s not as horrible as you think. She’s _not_ Finn.”

Clarke _flinched_ at the name.

“Remind me why I dated him again?” She asked.

“You tell me, I thought he was an idiot and you should have broken up with him long before you did.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. She didn’t like talking about the subject of him. It had started mediocre at best and ended badly, and she was past that point in her life. It at least left her with the valuable lesson of _never_ dating someone she worked with again.

“Now that we’ve clarified that was a hell of a lapse in judgement, why are you trying to push me into another one?” She asked Octavia, raising an eyebrow at her, “Lexa and I can't even manage to be friends, we can barely stand to be in the same place together without arguing, so pray tell, what makes you think we would work as a couple?”

“Um…” Octavia touched her chin with a single finger, pretending to think it over. “Because you have a crush on her?  It’s almost embarrassing, honestly. Plus, you would balance each other out.”

“Oh my god. You’re delusional,” she said, but Octavia didn’t stop smiling, “I do not! Let’s get back to work, please.” Clarke rolled her eyes and refocused her attention back on the footage, back on _what_ mattered.

She sunk into her work like she often did, her fingers trigger-fast when it came to deleting blurry shots and angles that weren’t working, condensing the entire of hours of preparation and research and then the fast, dangerous minutes of collecting the shots, into a palatable 10 minutes. Time flew by her.

Clarke glanced over at Octavia after an hour only to see that her friend had fallen asleep, her arms on the desk and her head pillowed on top. Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle at the drool dripping from the corner of O’s mouth. She pulled out her cellphone and snapped a quick picture, making a mental note to tease her later.  Octavia was right though, on two fronts. Maybe she needed some sleep right now. And _maybe_ she did have an annoying attraction to Lexa, which Octavia had picked up on. Man, did that burn her up. Clarke wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that yet, however. If Octavia knew, the teasing would be even worse as she wouldn't hesitate to tell Raven. And Raven worked with them now, and it would get to Anya and than get to Lexa and Clarke would _never_ live it down. Another dumb fan admiring the great Lexa Forrest from afar.

It was ridiculous.

She did think Lexa was hot, but everything else was still true. She couldn’t help that she still admired her, that she was a bit in awe of her, even. Clarke _knew_ she’d never hear the end of it if she shared that with Raven or Octavia. They already teased her endlessly.

Clarke sighed, exhaustion catching up to her. She knew she couldn’t afford a break (quite literally) so she decided to get a coffee from the break room and get back to work afterward.

It was the _only_ thing that mattered.

-=-

_This is ‘Into The Storm’ with Lexa Forrest, welcome and hold on._

Lexa rolled her eyes at her own catchphrase. It had _seemed_ clever back in the day, but now felt a little cringey. Too late to change it.

_Right now we’re in my own backyard. And a tornado could potentially be coming from the southwest later in the afternoon to this area. You can feel the instability in the air, guys, the power in the atmosphere and the wind shear._

She turns around in the screen, showing the camera the sky behind herself. She’d recorded that a few weeks ago, there was always a delay between shooting episodes and those episodes premiering.

_These lows clouds behind me, that’s all deep moisture. We have 60 dewpoints streaming from south to north and today we could be getting big tornadoes, probably weds tornadoes, I think f4s are very possible…_

Lexa takes a drink from her wine glass. She’s her _own_ worst critic, and though she doesn’t enjoy watching herself on screen all that much, she does it religiously just so she can see what to improve. It’s her one day off, but it’s not really free. She settles back into her couch and turns the volume up.

-=-

“Clarke, are you ready?”

She patted down her shirt, making sure all her buttons were closed. She still had nightmares about that time one of them opened in the middle of her segment. The picture was on Twitter for weeks.

“I’m good!” She told Monty, who raised his hand and counted down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

“Goodnight again, I’m Clarke Griffin bringing you the latest news regarding the indomitable forces of nature,” She smiled to the camera, “But before getting you all up to speed with the weather in your own backyards, let’s see what I was able to record this weekend, which as we’re all aware, a tornado touched down in the state. Here it is,” She nodded, and got the signal that Monty had her footage on air.

She took a second to breathe before it was over and she was back live. There was _not_ a minute she was relaxed up there, under the bright hot lights of the studio and the layers of makeup, but it was a side effect of what she really loved to do, and she _wouldn’t_ change it for the world.

“Clarke, we’re back in _3, 2, 1…_ ”

She nodded, and got _back_ to work.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

* * *

Clarke kept smiling long after the cameras were turned off.

Her segment was a success!

And she didn’t even _need_ to take a look at ratings to know it, not when absolutely everyone on set who’d seen her footage had eyes as wide as saucers and in Monty’s case, mouth hanging open as well. It was amazing. Captivating. Beautiful and dangerous and fucking insane.

And it was all her.

So she smiled, hugged Octavia, and went home with a smile on her face.

Clarke walked into work the next morning with her head held high.

Not even the constant loud buzzing of conversation or the occasional nudge from hurrying co-workers could bring her down. She received a pat or two on the back for her work, one of the studio’s quietest camera guys even telling her ‘you got balls, Griffin’ while she walked by.

And then she _saw_ the overnight ratings. Her mood just got better.

Clarke was downright giddy after reading the numbers from the segment. She almost couldn’t believe what she was seeing. (Which was a little sad, perhaps, but there were so many positive comments even on social media, that she was completely taken by surprise. Twitter was usually vicious.)  The ratings were up, not by a lot, but it was a _step_ in the right direction.

She almost skipped down the hall, and then breezed into the break room in high spirits.

It had worked. It really had worked. She’d risked her neck, but it had been worth it. Clarke hadn’t realized how much she’d lost hope that she could actually resurface, until now that it was _actually_ happening.

Begrudgingly, she thought she had to thank Lexa the next time she saw her, because if it wasn’t for her, she would have probably gotten hurt or worse while getting that footage. She didn’t regret going after it, especially not now, but she was trying to be self-aware. She knew Lexa had been part of her making it back in one piece and to be able to actually show what she’d gotten. She was in such a fucking good mood that she resolved to swallow her pride and say thank you to the woman whenever she saw her next, even though it could _possibly_ be thrown back in her face. Clarke couldn’t exactly blame her as she was...sort of defensive, right after it happened. But Lexa deserved her gratitude if nothing else.

She shook her her head and smiled. She was really looking forward to seeing the look on Lexa’s face when she thanked her. It would be priceless.

That was for sure.

At least one of her co-workers looked at her strangely as she poured herself a cup of coffee, but she didn’t care in the least.  It was disgusting coffee, sure, but she needed the boost. And maybe it was cliche, but the bitter taste of the crappy bean water barely reached the cloud she was floating on. Besides, she could head to the Ark later.  

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile unless you were on camera,” a voice said, and Clarke didn’t have it in her to roll her eyes this time. Her co-worker Todd was relentless, annoying, but harmless.  “Can I just say: wow!”

Clarke gave him a look before bending over to grab the cream from the fridge. She could feel his beady little eyes on her.

“Well, maybe I finally have a reason to smile, Todd!” she cheerfully told him as she straightened up, and finished preparing her cup of hell, “Also, stop looking at my ass,” she popped off before closing the fridge with her foot.

She couldn’t keep the smile off her face though no matter how hard she tried. All the late nights, the close calls, the determination was finally starting to pay off.

Todd sputtered, blinking dumbly at her boldness.

“I wasn’t, I was...uh,” he stuttered. “...looking for something.”

Clarke smirked at him, but was in too good of mood to let him ruin it.

“You’re lucky today, I’ll let it slide. Have a good day,” She topped off her coffee with cream before sauntering out, only to bring herself to a stop right outside the door, the coffee sloshing dangerously close to the edge of the cup. She looked up only to find a 6 foot tall of dark haired, straight nosed woman looking down at her.

Her boss.  

Luckily for her,  she seemed to be in a great mood even after almost having coffee spilled all over her. Clarke breathed again.

“Griffin! Just who I was looking for.”  

Clarke allowed her shoulders to relax a miniscule amount. She’d caught her coffee and her boss was in a good mood as opposed to pissed off and yelling. Two _miracles_ in one second.

“Miss Kennedy! How can I help you?” She asked, her hands sweating almost on reflex.

It wasn’t the easiest thing working under Alie Kennedy. No relation to the former president, but you would never know it from meeting her. She exuded confidence and she commanded entire rooms, and Clarke had been a kid with stars in her eyes when she started working here. She quickly realized it wasn’t as easy as she’d thought while she was in college, filming from her dorm window. But she _loved_ it. And Alie had loved it too. Clarke had almost felt like her protege, for a time.

And then more news channels got on the stormchaser gig, and ' _Into The Storm_ ' gained traction, and the ratings went down, and they’d kept steadily on that path for the last couple of years.

Alie wasn’t fond of anyone at the channel anymore, but even if she was, Clarke was sure she _wouldn’t_ make the cut.

Today seemed to be a different story though, as the woman seemed to be in a genuinely good mood. She wasn’t sure if it was because of Clarke’s ratings or something else. She never knew with Miss Kennedy. Clarke tended to stay clear of her because most of the time, her boss always seemed to be on some kind of _warpath_.  

“Actually, you already have,” She told Clarke with a pleasant smile. Clarke swallowed. It was almost unnerving. “Have you taken a look at the overnight ratings?”

Clarke nodded quickly.

“Yes, of course, I-”

“Then you must know what I wanted to talk to you about,” Ms. Kennedy looked down at her, towering over Clarke by a good few inches. But it’s one of the first times since she first started working there that she wasn't intimidated, “I just wanted to say, good job. Your segment last night was fantastic. I’ve been getting calls all morning.”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the praise.

“Thank you, I-”

“I’m not done. Even a good friend of mine over at National Geographic thought you showed up their very own Lexa Forrest.”

Oh. Clarke _positively_ glowed.

“So. What can I say? Fantastic work,” The woman’s expression changed in an instant. “And just when I was...Well, it hardly matters now. I am certain you will keep this quality work up.”

Clarke felt a pang in her stomach.

“Excuse me, you were what?”

The woman sighed, but Clarke felt like it was all an act.

“Well, Clarke, you know it’s not exactly cheap on the channel to have you and Blake running around _chasing_ after storms. And with the way ratings were going...I’m going to have to tell you the truth, me and a few of the shareholders made their...uh, concern, so to speak...known that maybe this stormchaser segment wasn’t cost effective. It was great at first, but you know how this works. People want new things, fresh things. You’ve been here for a few years, you know that. And you’re not getting any younger,” Alie laughed awkwardly, as if it was some sort of harmless joke, but Clarke felt it down to her toes, “Which is to say...I am sorry, but I was giving some serious thought to discontinuing the segment.”

“I was...going to lose my job?”

“Of course not!” Alie told her. “We value you here, but maybe we’d have to limit ourselves to the weather, like we did when you were first hired,” Alie pressed her lips together in an apologetic expression, but so practiced that Clarke _didn’t_ feel any warmth.

Clarke’s throat bobbed as she tried to swallow as she processed what she just heard.

This _was_ what she loved. What she’d fought for so hard. She couldn’t lose it. She was so close to losing it.

“But!” Alie brightened up again. “Like I said, I’ve been getting calls non stop. That stunt you pulled, getting so close to that thing-”

“A landspout,” Clarke explained. Alie blinked, “It’s a type of non-supercell tornado where-”

“Yes, of course,” Alie rolled her eyes, “I can’t commend you enough for that,” Alie regarded her carefully, all her former warmth evaporating, “If you keep this up, I don’t see a reason why things should change.”

Clarke didn’t need to ask what would happen if she didn’t manage to keep pumping out content that impressive episode after episode. It wasn’t a question of pride or competition anymore. What she _loved_ doing more than anything else was on the line.

She took a minute to reply to her boss.

“Yes, ma’am. You won't be disappointed,” she told her, “You can count on me.”

“Good,” Alie told her, her practiced easy smile back in place, “I’ll be watching you Miss Griffin,” she said amicably, but to Clarke it sounded like a threat. Like a sword hanging over her head.

“Of course,” Clarke told her, “And thanks,” she added, remembering how this conversation had started. She was being congratulated. And _yet_ she felt worse now than she had felt all day, maybe even all month. Clarke bit her lip to keep it from trembling as her boss’s intense gaze settled upon her for a moment before she nodded, turned sharply on her stiletto heel, and left without another word.

Clarke stood there speechless, debating her next move.

She had no idea what she was going to do. Tornadoes like that didn’t come very often. She couldn’t very well control the weather to get that sort of footage. She wouldn’t give up though.

It wasn’t in her nature.

So much for having a day off, she thought before she pulled out her phone and called Octavia.

As soon as Octavia picked up the phone, she got straight to the point.

“We might have a problem,” she told her best friend, “Can you meet me at our spot in a half hour? We need to talk. And I mean, right now.”

Octavia was hired as a camera woman for her Stormchaser segment. If Clarke had been close to getting demoted to a simple weather girl again, what did that mean for O? Would they make her switch departments? Would they simply fire her? And what could they do now?

“Wait, what? Are you still at the station?” Octavia asked. “I’ve only gotten a couple hours of sleep. Can’t this wait?” She grumbled into the phone.

Clarke could tell she woke her up, but she didn’t care at the moment. She realized they only had a day or two to come up with the script for their next segment, and only slightly more than that to film it. This was starting to feel like a major crisis. They needed to act, fast.

“No! It can’t,” she told her, aware of how nervous her voice had become. Her mind always spinned fast under pressure. She’d already begun to imagine her mother’s disappointed-but-not-surprised face when Clarke told her being a storm chaser didn’t pan out, “Look, I’m sorry I woke you up,” she told O. “But this is more important than sleep.”

“Nothing is more important than sleep when you’ve barely slept in the last 48 hours.”

“Meet me in half an hour or I swear to god, I will come to your apartment and bang on the door, wake up all your neighbors, and make them believe you’re my girlfriend who cheated on me. And that I’m calling the police.”

“For what, cheating-”

“This affects both of us!” Clarke insisted. “Please!”  Clarke couldn’t keep this from her best friend and needed her to come.

“Ugh, fine. Meet you there. This better be good.”

“Thank you. It’s important, I wouldn’t say good,” Clarke hung up the phone before quickly making her way out of the station, dumping her coffee in the trash can on the way out.

-=-

As agreed upon, Octavia was waiting for her at their spot in the park.

It was a place they had found when they were kids, just exploring. It was close enough to the city that the could walk to any major food chain in just a few minutes, but retired enough that it truly felt like it was all nature. Polis, Kansas’ answer to Central Park. It quickly became their go to spot for almost everything. There were a couple benches on top of the hill that overlooked the city and the park. It was a beautiful place to be alone and catch a sunset. Clarke found herself there _more_ often than she meant to.

She trudged up the hill.

Octavia was sitting on the bench, her head leaning back with her eyes closed. Clarke sat next to her. She stayed there, silently, trying to gather her racing thoughts. She noticed her best friend opening one eye and looking at her before shutting them tightly again.

“You want the good news or bad news first?” Clarke asked. She wanted to at least give her friend a choice on what to hear first, since she didn’t get it.  Plus, she did drag her out of bed.

“As you've woken me up and made me drag my ass out here, I'd rather hear the bad news first. Either way it's going to ruin the good news, so...Spit it out, C.”

Clarke took a deep breath before getting up and starting to pace. She knew she had to tell her,  she couldn't not do it as it affected both their jobs. But Clarke was a fan of ignoring problems until they literally couldn’t be ignored anymore. She didn’t want to think about what it would mean if the ratings dipped back down. It probably wouldn’t happen this week, as plenty of viewers would tune in again hoping for what they got last time, but what about the following week? The following month? Clarke suddenly had a very clear picture of herself stuck as a weather girl until the end of time.

“So...I saw Alie this morning.”

“Fuck. Never has a good sentence started like that.”

“And she congratulated me about our last segment, and our ratings,” Clarke continued.

“Okay, that’s good.”

“And then she told me that she and the board had been planning to cut the stormchasers segment out.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. She didn’t say it in so many words, but if the ratings dip back down...Octavia,  I'll go back to just being a weather girl…” The blonde balled her hands into fists before continuing, “And you’ll go back behind a desk.”

Clarke braced herself for the reaction she knew was coming, her nails digging into her palms. Back to a desk, to work as an editor. If she was lucky. Alie could very well _fire_ her if she felt like it.

Octavia must have known it too, because the next second she just exploded.

“What the fuck? Are you serious?” Octavia shot up from the bench with murder in her eyes, “I never liked the woman, but can she really do that? Why am I asking, of course she can. But the freaking sports segment has lower ratings than ours, come on! I don’t want to go back, I hated it there. It was slowly killing me. That’s if she even puts me back there at all, they’ve been making budget cuts...”

Octavia dragged her fingers through her hair.

Clarke looked her best friend in the eyes. “I wouldn't put it past her, O. I’m sorry.”

“Me either, she's an ice queen. A snake in sheep's clothing. God, have you ever made eye contact with her? It's like looking into the void. She creeps me out,” Octavia visibly shuddered before sitting back on the bench, “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she said under her breath, and then looked at Clarke. “What are we gonna do?”

“I don't know. I don’t know what she expects me to do?  How in the hell am I supposed to top what I did?  Any closer and I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. It was-”

“An anomaly,” Octavia finished for her, “Of course ratings were gonna go through the roof, nobody got as close as you did, not even Forrest,” Octavia turned toward her, “Isn’t that enough proof that we shouldn’t be doing it? Forrest, with all of her equipment, didn’t dare to do it. We don’t have the resources to pull shit like that again and live to tell the tale.”

“I know,” Clarke told her, nodding. A fist squeezed her chest.

“We don’t have the resources, we can’t get the right footage, if we don’t get the footage, ratings fall, ratings fall, we don’t have a job,” Octavia puffed her breath out, “But we don’t have the resources and I’ll bet we’re not getting them. What a fucking conundrum.”

“Big word,” Clarke joked, nudging her friend. If she didn’t start releasing some tension her head was going to explode, “I can't lose this, O. I'm so close,” She shrugged, “This is _my_ dream. And I know you don’t want to go back,” She sighed, and leaned back in the bench, “I'll figure something out,” she told Octavia, “I have too. I won’t let this happen to either one of us.”

Octavia scooted closer and put her arm around her shoulder, “You’re not alone, C. We're in this together,” Octavia squeezed her shoulder, and Clarke tentatively smiled, “We’ll figure it out, one way or the other. We'll come up with something. We always do.”

Clarke nodded, but her heart was heavy. She knew Octavia meant every word she said, but she couldn't shake the feeling that it was _her_ responsibility. She would do whatever it took for both of them to keep their jobs.  

Even if it meant more risks, more stunts, relying more on luck and blind courage than she did before.

She had no _other_ choice.

-=-

Lexa sat in her office, her head bent over her favorite laptop.

She analyzed the data they collected after their last chase. She was so completely immersed she’d barely left her office. When she found something worth looking into, hours could pass before she knew it.

Lexa was glad she had a shower in her office as she used it more than the one at home.

She knew she deserved all the time Anya grilled her for basically living in her office. And it wasn’t just the mini-fridge and the microwave tucked away inside a seemingly innocuous shelf. Hell, she had toiletries in the bathroom as well as an overnight bag in the closet, which to be honest, had more than one set of clothes.  She just didn’t want to chance missing a storm or missing something in her research. Lexa knew she was burning herself out, but it was a competitive world and if she wanted her show to be renewed, she had to _bust_ her ass.

She lived and breathed her work. Anya was always telling her to get a life outside of it, but she was content and that was enough. After Costia, she couldn’t imagine getting into another relationship. All she needed was her friends and her work.

Leaning back in her chair, she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. She thought that a coffee was the perfect way to perk up. She stood up, grabbed her jacket, wallet and keys before heading to her parking spot outside (conveniently marked with her name and show logo) and got into her truck. Destination: Ark Cafe. They had the best coffee in town and she found herself there almost everyday.

Heading into the coffee shop, she was greeted by Harper, or as Lexa called her inside her own head ' _won’t take no for an answer barista_ '. Lexa sighed before plastering a small smile on her face.

“Well, isn’t it my favorite regular, finally coming to see me,” Harper’s voice was honey sweet as she batted her eyelashes at Lexa. Lexa almost felt bad for her. She’d always had a thing for girl’s with huskier voices (her ‘smoker’s voice kink’ as Anya had dubbed it). Lexa made the mistake of smiling at her own thoughts, and tried to reign herself back in when she saw Harper’s reaction. She wasn’t trying to plant false hope here.

Harper immediately got started on her coffee without her giving her order.

“Just...needed my coffee fix,” Lexa said, before getting a blueberry muffin as well.

“And here I thought you missed me. That’s a shame,” Harper shrugged, her face a picture of false innocence, “I was hoping you were here to finally say yes to that date. I promise I’ll treat you right,”  Harper leaned over the counter with the coffee, trailing her fingers across Lexa’s hand when she reached for her coffee.

“No, sorry, just here for some coffee before heading back to the office,” she said, and then made herself be harsher than usual, “I don’t have time to date,” she added. It wasn’t just time. It was the fact that she lacked the disposition needed to search and search to hopefully find someone who shared at least a fraction of her passions, someone who understood her. Lexa completely ignored the image of a certain blonde that flashed through her mind, “You’ll find the right woman for you, it isn’t me though.”

“Maybe you aren’t the right woman for me, but I could show you a good time anyways.” Harper winked at her, “I can promise you that.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not interested,” She paid and left a tip as usual. Luckily, more customers walked in the door, sparing her any more of the awkward conversation. She had debated more than once to find a new coffee place, but couldn’t find one that measured up.

“Thanks…” She looked at the tag on the redhead’s shirt, just for effect. “Harper,” she said, “Have a good day.”

She walked away, ignoring the annoyed look on the woman’s face, and settled in one of the leather chairs near the back to relax for a few minutes. She could feel Harper’s eyes burning a hole in her back, but refused to acknowledge it. She really was hoping after the last time, she had gotten the hint.

Apparently not.

Lexa browsed the internet, checking the weather before texting her team to meet her.

According to what was on the radar, there was a storm moving towards them quickly. It was roughly an hour out, and she couldn’t be sure how big it would get, but storms were _always_ unpredictable. She’d always prided herself on being prepared.  

She got a reply from Anya stating they were already on their way as they had seen the weather too. She smiled at how in sync they were and finished off her coffee. Lexa grabbed her muffin, intending to munch on it while she got the equipment ready she always carried around in her car.

Before she could leave, she heard the door ding again and looked up into bright blue eyes.

None _other_ than Clarke Griffin’s.

-=-

Clarke and Octavia left the park, moods somber after what they’d talked about.

But before they went their separate ways, both of their phones beeped, alerting them of an incoming storm. They took off immediately and headed back into town, stopping by Octavia’s place to get the truck. They were both tired, and Clarke noticed her friend eyeing her bed angrily while she ran around gathering lenses, but there was no time to lose. It was just a storm right now, but it showed potential of becoming something more, and at this point they couldn’t risk not being there if it happened.

They drove back back into town, just a few streets away from the channel’s headquarters. It was going to pass through the city anyway. The streets were mostly empty, regular citizens having shuttered themselves off in their homes the minute the sky went dark.

Clarke looked around, and a white van with a bright logo caught her eyes, parked right outside of the Ark. ' _Into The Storm_ ', the side of it read. _Lexa._

Well, fuck. No time as good as the present.

“Hey, O?”

“Hmm?”

“I want to grab a coffee real quick,” she told her, “Can you stop at the Ark for a minute?”

She didn’t tell Octavia the real reason she wanted to stop, she knew she would get hell for it. On the other hand, maybe her best friend would understand. She just knew it was the right thing to do.

“Sure, we’ve got a good hour to go,” O told her, and parked besides the familiar van, “And look who’s here,” Octavia smiled. She turned to Clarke, “Get me a latte?”

“Done. I’ll be right back,” Clarke hopped out of the truck, and briefly waved her hand at the members of the other team. She didn’t see Lexa, and assumed she was inside. She hugged Raven before heading in, leaving Octavia with Lincoln, Anya and Raven. She could hear them talking about the upcoming storm as she walked inside. It was supposed to be the _biggest_ one so far this year.

Clarke stepped into the coffee shop, and not a second later locked eyes with Lexa.

She nodded politely and held up a finger, silently asking her to wait a minute. Lexa nodded in response. The familiar, barely there smirk that _drove_ Clarke crazy adorned her lips. Maybe their rivalry was back to square one.

Clarke ordered the coffees, and couldn’t help but notice the barista’s eyes bouncing between her and Lexa. The girl looked...jealous? Go figure that Lexa would have fans here. She waited impatiently for the coffees, and made herself follow the girl’s every move, just in case she decided to spit in her cup.

If she only knew. She didn’t have to be jealous, things with her and Lexa were not like...that.  She snatched the coffees a little more violently than she intended and headed towards Lexa. Well that was the first time she didn’t like a barista at the Ark. She shook her head.

She had _bigger_ fish to fry.

“Hey,” Clarke greeted, putting her coffee down on the table between them. Clarke fidgeted with her hands suddenly nervous. “Can I talk to you for a second?” Clarke asked finally looking up at her. She could see gold flecks in her green eyes. How had she missed that before?

Lexa hesitated for a split second before agreeing, “Of course. How can I help you, Clarke?”  

It was almost harder for them to be so...civil. She’d gotten used to their little squabbles, the throwing insults and quips back and forth. The Lexa in front of her wasn’t made of steel, but just...a woman. A woman _who_ had helped her.

Clarke took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“I...I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for coming after me,” Clarke felt a weight lifted off her shoulders the second the words left her lips. She hadn’t completely realized how much it had affected her. Apart from Octavia, Raven and her mom, there weren’t many people around who...cared.

Lexa looked shocked. As if she was definitely not expecting those words to pass her lips. Truth be told, if Clarke had been told a few months ago that she’d be thanking Lexa Forrest for anything, she would have been shocked, too. And then laughed her ass off.

“Wow, well, um. You’re welcome,” Lexa told her. Clarke thought she’d almost hear her stutter -but that was crazy, “I just did what anyone would’ve done,” Lexa said, “Or well, I would think.”

“Not everyone,” Clarke said, “You’re a good person Lexa,” She was surprised at the way the words came out, effortless. She smiled, “And...seeing the look on your face, I’m gonna have to take a wild guess that you never expected to hear me say that.”

“No,” Lexa told her, smiling lightly. Clarke felt something in her chest _jump_ for being the cause, “Definitely not, unless someone was forcing you to do so,” Lexa raised her eyebrows, “A thank you from Clarke Griffin...I must be dreaming,” Lexa teased before taking a bite of her muffin.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Clarke said, “You’re not all bad, Lexa. Who would’ve thought?”  Clarke teased back or was she flirting? She didn’t really care at the moment. She was enjoying the banter too much to dwell on it, “I guess there’s more to you than I thought.”

Lexa smiled, an honest to god smile and Clarke was blown away. The preview from a minute ago was nothing compared to it.

“Likewise, Griffin,” Lexa said.

They both smiled at each other, enjoying the moment. It was broken, though when Anya rushed in, telling Lexa they needed to go or they were going to miss the storm. It was about to break.

They both hurried out and without another word headed off to their separate vehicles.

Octavia had run inside to use the restroom, so Clarke sat in the truck waiting and watched Lexa and her team peel out in a hurry. She should have been right behind them, but well- in this case a different kind of nature called.  Finally, Octavia jumped into the truck and they got on the road.

Their scanner pinged indicating  a funnel was forming. They sped up, weaving in and out of other cars. Most of which were turning around, but not them, they were heading straight for it.

They were getting closer, but the shitty truck started complaining.

“Come on, baby, don’t give up on mama,” Octavia whispered, changing gears, but the car only kept slowing down, “Come on!” She slammed her hand down on the dashboard.

The truck stopped.

“Fuck!”

Octavia barely had time to steer to the side of the road.  Octavia got out, and popped the hood.  Smoke billowed out.  Clarke’s head began to pound. This was it. She needed to get something out of today, and something good. The job she _loved_ depended on it.

But Octavia kept cursing and the car didn’t start.

She _was_ screwed.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

The taxi driver pressed down on the pedal the minute Octavia slammed the door. The third one to do so.

Clarke would bet her life that when they stopped to pick up two women by the side of an empty street, they were hoping to get them away from the storm, not getting asked to _drive_ straight at it.

Clarke looked toward the horizon.

The sky swirled, like a pool of purple and blue watercolor she might have spilled on a canvas as a child. And she was missing it all. It was a good few miles away. They could walk, she guessed. But a car would be so much more useful right now.

“Stop that one!” She told Octavia, and she had to give it to her friend for nearly standing in the middle of the street in order to get the taxi to stop. She saw the man mouth expletives through the window.

Clarke _got_ closer.

“No way in hell!” He told Octavia, who slammed the door closed.

“Wait!” Clarke told him. “I’ll pay you double-”

“I’m not dying for do-”

“Triple,” she told him. “Three times whatever the meter says.”

The man eyed them carefully.

“Get in,” he said.

And they did. But by the time they got there, it _was_ over.

-=-

A few days, later, Clarke still had nothing substantial.

She hadn’t gotten to record anything as the skies had been uncharacteristically clear and sunny for the season. She cursed the good weather. She’d missed the storm earlier in the week because of the stupid, unreliable news truck, and now the sky seemed to _taunt_ her with it’s cloudless blue.

She’d paid for the truck’s repairs out of her own pocket, remembering the last time she asked for it to get fixed. She was going to have to rely on the damn thing for the foreseeable future, so she couldn’t wait for the bureaucracy that a simple budget approval entailed.

Clarke only hoped that it wouldn’t break down again.

She didn’t know what to do. She had to have something to broadcast two days from now, or ratings would take a dive again, she was sure of it. And if that happened she’d be back to just a weather girl.

Her head snapped up when her phone started ringing, the specific melody Clarke had put as a weather alert. She checked her device. There was a storm coming in two hours away, close to Arkadia. She was fucking ecstatic.

She called Octavia as she ran through the hallways, on her way to the truck.  Picking her up took less than 15 minutes, and then they were on their way to the site.

When they got there, of course, Lexa was _already_ there.

Clarke wished she knew her secret. There had to be more to it than just a really great vehicle, some sort of way Lexa got alerted before everyone else. She was always beating them. But it didn’t matter, since she and O were here now, and they were going to get-

Clarke’s good mood deflated when she noticed they were packing up, not setting up.

Octavia sighed as Clarke flew out of the truck. “Are we late?!” she asked without thinking. Raven looked up, startled, “How in the hell did we miss it? How long have have you guys been here?” Clarke rapidly fired her questions as her nerves got the better of her. This was her _one_ chance.

“Chill, Griffin,” Raven replied, “You aren’t late,” She saw her stashing one of her tech babies in the back of the van.

“Then, pray tell, why are you packing up?” Clarke shot off, looking at her friend. There was still some animosity between them, which Clarke hated.

Instead of Raven answering, Lexa stepped in for her. Clarke hadn’t even noticed her arrive.

“Because there’s nothing here, that’s why,” Lexa told her, “The cell moved past us. There was no tornado. We didn’t get anything either,” Lexa stood face to face with her.

Clarke looked into her green eyes and felt her _heart_ plummet.

“Fuck!” Clarke exclaimed, turning around and kicking dirt. She couldn’t help it. She took a few steps away, away from Octavia getting out of the truck to speak to Raven and the rest of Lexa’s team, trying to get some distance so she could clear her head.

“Clarke?”

She turned around. Lexa had followed her. Clarke could swear she saw concern flash in Lexa’s eyes, but it was gone so fast, she could’ve been just imagining it.

“We didn’t get anything either, no need to be so upset,” Lexa said calmly.

Clarke glared at her, the moment they shared in the coffee shop a distant memory.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Clarke scoffed. She expected Lexa to roll her eyes at her, to turn away like she usually did -and like Clarke’s attitude probably called for- but the other woman didn’t.

“Everything okay?” she asked. Clarke was taken aback.

“I- It’s-” She sighed, “It’s nothing.”

Lexa looked at her, and then nodded.

“It seems to me our teams are heading to Grounders for some not-so-celebratory shots,” she mentioned. ”Are you coming?” Lexa asked, and Clarke could’ve sworn she heard a hint of hope in her voice. Then again, she’d also thought today would be the day. Her judgement was _clearly_ compromised at best.

Clarke took a moment before answering. She had to think about what to do. Her time was dwindling fast, and she still had nothing of weight. Today had been a bust. She could go through old unaired footage, try to pass it off as new and hope nobody realized. She could shoot some sort of educational segment, how to prepare for tornadoes or something.

Or she could go get a drink.

“You know what? I think that sounds like a great idea,” she told Lexa. She started to walk away before looking over her shoulder, catching Lexa checking her out. She was sure of it. Clarke smirked, her spirits lifting already. “Coming?” She called out before jumping in the truck.

Lexa blushed before turning away and heading to the van.

-=-

Grounders was the go to bar in town.

It was dark, spirited and cozy. The brick walls and dark wood tabletops rounded off the dive bar look, but the paintings littering the walls kept it above any random hole in the wall. The atmosphere was always calm, almost hazy, and stepping inside felt like visiting the living room of an old friend. She was sure it was the feeling the owners were going for, because it kept everyone coming back.

Dart boards were set up on a corner, the perfect invitation for any drunk daredevil to try to entertain. High tables were scattered throughout, though Lexa’s usual spot late into the evening was beside the pool table near the back, or sitting at the bar. They had the best selection of beer in the city.

Lexa _loved_ this bar.

They were the first ones to arrive, and waved at Nyko before grabbing their favorite booth in the corner.  Nyko brought menus and took their drink orders before heading back to the bar. Lexa grabbed hers, and thought about ordering ribs before realizing Clarke would be with them this time. It was stupid, but she was suddenly nervous. She discreetly wiped her hands on her jeans. This was the first time she would be hanging out with the blonde in a casual setting.

She didn’t know what to expect.

A peanut nailing her in the forehead pulled her out of her thoughts.

“What the fuck?” Lexa exclaimed, looking around for the culprit. Both Raven and Lincoln raised their hands, declaring their innocence.

“We’ve been trying to get your attention for a few minutes,” Anya casually replied, “Where’s your head at?”

“Just thinking about work,” Lexa answered quickly, while rubbing her forehead. It was a lie, but she had no idea what she was thinking about herself.  Clarke? That wouldn't be a good answer. 

Lincoln laughed while Raven rolled her eyes.

“Why am I not surprised?” Anya said, “You’re supposed to be relaxing, not worrying about work. Enjoy your night off, _please_. It’s so rare that you actually come out with us.”

“Fine, fine, you’re right,” Lexa conceded, “I’ll try.”

“Awesome,” Raven told her, “Does that mean the commander’s going to get drunk with us?”

"In all the time I’ve known her, she’s gotten drunk maybe twice,” Anya answered for her, “And one of those was a challenge, if I remember correctly. The last time was in college. Costia and I…” Anya stopped abruptly, shooting a look at her, “Lexa was challenged to drink seven shots in a row,” she amended, “No stopping, no throwing up. And she did it,” Anya finished awkwardly.

Lexa flinched upon hearing her ex’s name. Over four years had gone by since they’d broken up, but her name _still_ stung. Lexa swallowed.

“And no, I will not be doing that tonight, Reyes,” she said, before Raven suggested it. But the girl was raising her eyebrows at her girlfriend, seemingly having one of those quiet conversations that couples could have. Of course, Raven wasn’t here when Costia was. She didn’t know. And Lexa was thankful for Anya not telling her.

“So, sorry to disappoint,” she said, calling their attention. She forced a smile on her face, “Maybe another time.”

Before Raven could reply, Nyko delivered their drinks and took their food orders before leaving them alone again. She caught Anya’s eyes, and Lexa nodded, silently telling her she was okay.

Raven interrupted them by knocking a fork against her glass.

“I’d like to make a toast,” she announced.

“For what?” Lincoln asked, already taking a drink of his beer.

“For nothing! Thanks for waiting, by the way-”

Lincoln raised his hand and put his beer down.

“Here’s to having accomplished absolutely nothing today, but getting up to try again tomorrow. Cheers!”

Lincoln laughed. “Cheers!” he exclaimed.

Lexa joined in, raising her glass with a smile.

Raven and Anya shared a kiss, both leaning forward above the table, and Lexa looked away.

They talked for a while, until Anya called her out for only coming up with work-related topics, at which point Lexa shut up and mostly listened. She looked up and her attention was immediately caught by Clarke walking into the bar with Octavia. About time. She _couldn’t_ help but watch the blonde as they walked up to the table. They stood there for a moment, seemingly debating where to sit. Octavia finally slid in next to Lincoln, leaving Clarke to squeeze in next to Lexa.

Lexa didn't miss the shit eating grins on her friend’s faces, and prayed to God she didn’t blush.

“What are you ladies drinking?” Lincoln asked, raising his hand to get Nyko’s attention.

Octavia answered for both of them after a quick look at Clarke.

“Beer, and a whiskey neat for Clarke.”

“That’s what Lexa’s drinking,” Lincoln mentioned, “What a coincidence,” He laughed. Lexa wondered if he’d be so brave and ‘funny’ if the girl he was into wasn’t sitting next to him. She shook her head.

“We like the same drink, what’s your point?” Clarke asked with a bite in her tone. Lexa smiled.

“He’s jealous that we have good taste,” she told her, patting herself on the back when Clarke looked surprised, then pleased.

Anya laughed while leaning into Raven.

“Oh snap! Man, I’ve missed you two, I’m so glad you decided to come out with us,” Raven said.

Lexa couldn’t help but think that she _was_ really glad too.

-=-

Clarke looked around the table for a moment before answering.

“Of course, Rae, we’ve missed you too.”

It was the absolute truth, despite whatever residual resentment she had over her friend choosing to leave their team for the promise of more cash and better resources, she still loved Raven. Deep down, it was still the three of them against the world.

“How’s it going at the station?” Raven asked taking a sip of her beer.

Clarke tensed.

“It’s going okay. Not the same without you,” she deflected.

Raven smirked, “Of course not, I’m the best!” She turned around and kissed Anya firmly -and soundly- on the lips, “And I got the sexiest girlfriend in the world. I would be jealous of me."

Anya blushed, which had Lexa and Lincoln smiling widely.

Clarke tried not to stare too long at Lexa’s smile.

“Oh my god. She’s blushing. That’s a first,” Lincoln said, “Lexa, look, she’s all grown up and in love.”

“Shut up before I make you, Lincoln,” Anya snapped, though not even Clarke -who barely knew and frankly, was quite intimidated by her- could take her threat seriously when she looked over at Raven with pure love in her eyes, “He isn’t wrong though, I do love you.”

It was Raven’s turn to blush which Clarke was quick to tease her about.

“Who knew that player Reyes would finally fall in love,” She wasn’t even miffed when she got ignored.

“Love you too,” Raven told Anya, and then turned toward Clarke. “Yeah, you’re right and I couldn’t be happier. Now enough with the teasing,” She draped her arm around Anya’s shoulders and sat back. “Really, though, how’s it going?”

Clarke huffed, “It’s okay, you know how Alie is, so you can probably imagine,” She shrugged, “Why don’t you tell me about your “baby”.”

Raven, of course, couldn’t help but gush and started going on about reactors and neurons and what not. Clarke ended up zoning out as Raven completely geeked out. She had heard her go on enough times before to know she could go on for hours and hours unless someone interrupted her, which she hoped they wouldn’t do right now.

Clarke took a deep breath, glad to get the attention off her work. She looked at Octavia and could see the same _relief_ mirrored in her eyes.

It’s not that she wanted to lie, but she didn’t want to tell her competition, because at the end of the day, that's what they were. Clarke didn't want to admit that she was close to not being a storm chaser anymore. She was on the brink of having it _taken_ away right at the cusp of achieving it.

It was a hard pill to swallow.

She focused back on the conversation around her and noticed Lexa giving her a concerned look. Lexa didn’t know, she couldn’t have, but somehow she noticed there was something eating away at her and she’d bothered to check. Clarke nodded her head, silently telling her that she was okay. She was honestly _touched_ that Lexa had even bothered.

Clarke smiled at that, thinking back to the coffee shop, Lexa _really_ wasn’t as bad she thought.

-=-

Lexa had been silently listening while sipping her whiskey; she caught Clarke’s eyes a time or two, but they both looked away quickly. She liked seeing Clarke like this, around her friends, relaxed. It was a _change_ from the harsh, quick tempered girl who ran straight into danger without a care in the world. She wouldn’t mind getting to know this Clarke.

She couldn’t help but notice how different Clarke looked out of the field in tight skinny jeans, and a low cut blue top that made her eyes even more blue. Her hair was down tonight, as opposed to her usual pragmatic ponytail, and if it was any other woman, Lexa would say the waves framed her face in a way that was just lovely.

If it was any other woman she’d tell her she’s _beautiful_.

The rest of the table had veered off into their own conversations, so she looked over at Clarke, who had already been studying her. Or...part of her.

Clarke’s eyes had dropped down to her chest, and Lexa smirked.

"What, Griffin? See something you like?”

Clarke almost, almost spluttered when she looked back up. One day, Lexa thought.

“In your dreams,” Clarke retorted.

“You dreaming about me now, Clarke?”

“Not a chance in hell,” Clarke fired back, a smile playing at her lips.

Lexa looked around their table, everyone else caught up in their own little bubbles. Might as well.

“Can I interest you in a game of pool?” Lexa asked. Clarke raised an eyebrow at her. “In the spirit of healthy competition, of course.”

Clarke smiled, “You’re on.”

Maybe there was a _chance_ at friendship after all.

They grabbed their drinks and made their excuses before heading over to a empty pool table.

“You rack ‘em?” Lexa asked innocently, trying not to check out the blonde’s generous cleavage as she bent over the pool table. She finished her whiskey in one gulp as dirty thoughts raced through her mind, of exactly all sorts of things they could do on the table-

“Only if you break,” Clarke winked as she grabbed a cue.

“Deal,” Lexa agreed quickly. She put her empty glass down and set up her shot.

They started playing, and ordered another round of drinks. Lexa wasn’t going to get drunk; tipsy maybe, but definitely not drunk. (A part of her whispered that maybe she already was, if her thoughts were any indication.)

“I suck at this,” Clarke complained, “Pool was never my forte,” she said, bending over the table. Lexa tried valiantly not to check out her ass, but failed. She rolled her sleeves up. Her hair stuck to the nape of neck, and she brushed it away.

Maybe this should be her last drink.

Her eyes snapped back to the blonde’s when Clarke looked over her shoulder.

“Do you need me to show you how it's done?” Lexa asked.

“That would be great, actually.”

She eyed Clarke carefully, feeling like she was being played and not caring one bit. Clarke smiled at her, her tongue caught between her teeth, and Lexa felt _unsteady_ all of a sudden.

She still walked over and leaned into Clarke from behind, putting her hands on top of hers to help her line up the shot. She was so warm and soft.

“So you see, you want to hit the white ball in the middle, and have a smooth even stroke,” Lexa tried not to whimper when Clarke took a step back, accidentally -or not, she couldn’t tell- pushing her ass back into her, “Shoot it straight.”

“There’s nothing straight about me,” Clarke mentioned, and then laughed at her own corny joke.

Lexa shook her head.

It cut through some of the tension. 

“I can relate,” she said, the straightened up, “Umm..,so you think you got it now?” She went to take a step back, but this time Clarke grabbed her wrist.

“Not just yet, can you show me one more time?”

Lexa heard her heartbeat in her ears.

Clarke looked back at her over her shoulder, her smile a picture of innocence, and Lexa knew that couldn’t be a coincidence now. But here, like in the field, she wasn’t _one_ to back down from a challenge.

“Sure,” she told Clarke. She went through the motions, helped Clarke line up the shot before stepping back. Clarke sunk her first shot and second shot, but missed the third. “That was really good, Clarke.”

“Damn, and here I thought I was on a roll,” She looked at Lexa beneath her eyelashes, “You’re a good teacher.”

Lexa smiled, “Was that a compliment I just heard?” she teased back, “Well, I’ll take it. You’re not a bad student,” Lexa said leaning towards the blonde.

“Hmm, is this the 'Commander' I’m meeting?” Clarke asked, taking a step closer, so close Lexa could feel Clarke's breath against her chin.

“You have no idea how commanding I can be,” Lexa sassed back before taking a step back.

They weren’t just flirting, were they?

“Is that so?” Clarke smiled, wide and pleased, “Guess I’ll have to wait and see.”

“Maybe you will.”

Lexa took a deep breath and stepped away, going back to the game. It was almost dizzying, how easily they could step into those roles, teasing and flirting and goading each other.

It was nothing like how they’d behaved in the field before, and yet in a way, it was. Push and pull. Give and take.

Lexa shook her head, and resolved to focus on playing, and talking about safe subjects, like work. Work was good. (Work was best, now that she was beginning to feel the drinks.)

“Um, Raven told me your truck broke down the other day,” she mentioned off handedly, “How’s that going?

Clarke shrugged.

“Got it fixed,” she said, “Not all of us can have the Magic School Bus as our ride.”

Lexa chuckled despite herself.

“It’s not magic, just technology.”

“A hell of a technology if Raven’s incessant praise is anything to go by,” Clarke said. “What have you got under the hood?”

Lexa _tried_ not to let her mind go down less pure paths.

Instead, she let herself geek out, unrestrained. It wasn’t very often that she got to brag about her equipment, most of the time it was only to the arrogant dude-bros that didn’t pay attention to half of what came out of her mouth, and never to a beautiful woman.

Never to Clarke.

So she let that pure, unrestrained excitement that flooded her when she spoke about her work run wild. It was the _best_ night she’d had in awhile.

-=-

Clarke couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face seeing Lexa’s eyes light up while she talked about her work. She was truly passionate about it. It was a _sight_ to behold.

She’d often seemed so serious out in the field, so hardcore and unreachable, that Clarke never stopped to consider that underneath it all, there was a woman who felt the exact same way about storms as she did.

“And here’s what’s incredible,” Lexa kept talking, “We can store all our footage in the van, so we don’t have to constantly go back to the office to edit. We got a few monitors set up, and now we can stay out in the field longer and get more footage. It’s amazing,” Lexa gushed out with a dopey smile on her face, “I mean we can still transfer it like we used to, but this makes it so much easier.”

“Yeah, it does sound amazing,” Clarke said, honest, though jealousy still colored her tone, “I’d love to have something like that, but the station has a limited budget so I don’t see us getting it anytime soon,” She wouldn’t be saying it if she wasn’t a few drinks in, she was sure of it, but as it was it’d slipped out. It was far from the worst thing she’d done tonight. (Flirting with Lexa took number one for sure.) “But, I mean, that’s great for you.”

Lexa backtracked suddenly, “I’m sorry, Clarke. I wasn’t thinking. I apologize. I’m sure what you have is great.”

Clarke regretted her words as soon as Lexa’s easy smile disappeared.

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. You were just sharing. It’s cool,” Clarke put her hand over the brunette’s for a moment. “Really, it’s cool. I’m the dumb one-”

“Don’t say that,” Lexa covered her hand with her own, and Clarke swallowed once she realized how close together they were standing, “And thank you for listening.”

They played one last game of pool before heading back over to their friends, who didn’t seem to care about being abandoned by them most of the night.

“Ready to go?” Clarke asked Octavia.

“Yeah, I am. I already called for an Uber.”

“Great, thanks,” she told her friend, squeezing her shoulder. She turned towards Lexa and her team, “You guys okay getting home?”

The rest of them nodded.

“I live close so I’ll just walk,” Lexa replied, “I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” Clarke asked, before Anya got the chance to. She tried to ignore the heat flooding her cheeks at the stares she was getting.

“Yeah, I always do it,” Lexa answered.

Clarke looked at her for a moment.

“Okay, be safe,” She surprised herself when she pulled Lexa into a quick hug before waving at everyone else and pulling Octavia along toward the exit.

She didn’t want to _think_ about the night until she was sober enough for it. And perhaps not even then.

-=-

Lexa said goodbye to her friends, and thought back on her night as she walked.

It was _not_ at all the evening she expected to have, but she wouldn't change a thing. She had a great time with great company. And she saw a side of Clarke that she hadn’t noticed before, or _maybe_ hadn’t bothered to look for.

And she found she liked it.

She had a smile on her face the entire way home.

-=-

Clarke had to force herself out of bed the next morning.

She didn’t want too, but with her position on the line, she knew she had to bust her ass. She’d dragged her hungover self into the office early, hoping to avoid her co-workers. Clarke wasn’t in the mood for idle chit chat most mornings, but in this one particularly, it would surely kill her.

She thanked all the deities she could remember for managing to slip into her blissfully empty office undetected.

She held her head in her hands, a groan ripping through her chest. She’d had hope her hangover would magically dissipate as soon as she had work too, but it was only slowly dwindling instead.

Clarke thought back to last night and smiled. She had a great time, the only thing she regretted was how much she drank. Otherwise, she would call last night a success. In just a few hours she had managed to pierce the cold, hard exterior of ‘The Commander’, and it _had_ put a strange, giddy sensation in her chest.

Before she could analyze it further or even get to work, there was a knock on the door.

She sighed before straightening up and after a quick look in the mirror to make sure she didn’t look like death, she called out for whoever it was to come in. Who stepped through the door was the last person Clarke expected, and someone who had never visited before.

Her boss. Miss Kennedy.

Clarke wondered what the hell she was doing in her office, but knew it couldn’t be good. She wasn’t going to voice that question, either, as that would be a mistake even bigger than whatever she’d done to deserve this.

“Miss Griffin. I was just coming by to see how you were,” Alie said. Her tone felt so patronizing Clarke might have been back in college, the only woman in a classroom full of men who didn’t value her opinion.  At least Alie bothered to have a fake smile plastered on her face.

Clarke almost rolled her eyes, knowing while the reason Alie provided was grammatically correct, its meaning was light years away than what she truly meant. ‘How’ meant ‘where’, and ‘you’ meant the ‘segment’.

“That’s very nice of you,” she told her, “I’m doing well. Thank you for asking,”  Clarke tried to keep her tone polite.

“That’s great!” Alie said with false cheer, “It’s just, as I’m sure you’re aware, there’s only a couple days left until the next broadcast and I wanted to see what your progress was?” Alie had moved farther into the room, now standing directly in front of her, almost bearing down on her.

Clarke immediately stood up, to even the playing field.  She knew the point of this conversation. To intimidate her. Put even more pressure on her under the pretense of worry.

“It’ going alright,” Clarke told her, “As you’ve seen though, we’ve had some gorgeous weather the last few days, so we haven’t been able to get any new footage.”

“Well, that’s just a shame,” Alie said, “Clarke, we’ve spoken about this before. You need to keep a certain quality level to your segments...I can’t control the shareholders, you know?”

“Well, I can’t exactly control 'Mother Nature', Miss Kennedy,” she said, and felt both exhilarated and terrified at Alie’s reaction. She’d set her off. Clarke saw the malice cover her eyes, almost like a film, “But I promise you, I’m doing my best,” she added, as sweetly as she could manage.

Inside, Clarke was pissed. How dare she accuse her of slacking on the job? Especially with the cramped ass shared office she got, and the shitty truck that kept breaking down. She was doing her best and beyond with what she had, and it _still_ wasn’t enough.

This job meant everything to her. Losing it would devastate her.

“I’m sure you are. I would never accuse you of anything different,” Alie told her, “I just wanted to make you aware of what’s on the line is all,” Alie said, moving over to the computer, which Clarke had booted up when coming in earlier.

“I know exactly what’s on the line,” Clarke said trying to keep the bite out of her tone and failing.

Alie turned around with a satisfied smirk on her face. She didn’t say anything, just turned around and focused back on the computer.

Clarke was already calling her all kinds of things in her head, wishing she could say them out loud. Maybe one day she could, but for now she held her tongue. Alie was in her office, threatening her, and there was absolutely nothing she could do.  She took a deep breath, intent on keeping it all inside.  

She rolled her shoulders and neck and looked over to see a picture of her, Raven and Octavia at their very first chase. Windblown hair, flushed cheeks and huge smiles adorning their faces. She smiled at the memory and remembered what was at stake.

The last thing she needed to do was piss off her boss.

“Anything I can do to help you today?” Clarke asked as pleasantly as possible.

“No, that was all. Just wanted to check in,” She turned around and headed for the door, but before she walked out, she turned around one last time, “I hope you have a good day. I’m looking forward to your next segment,” she said, walking out before Clarke could even formulate a response.

Clarke let out the breath she’d been holding.

Well, that was unexpected and unwelcomed. She felt the pressure now more than ever, and kept going through her options on what to do.  She checked the weather forecasts and Octavia’s alerts to see if there were any storm systems moving in.

Where most people prayed for good weather and sunny skies, Clarke _hoped_ for a storm.

-=-

Lexa’s brain was screaming.

Actually, her everything was screaming, but her brain was for sure the loudest, and seemed to be commanding the whole orchestra. It reached a crescendo when none other than her best friend barged in the door with food, declaring they were going to hang out.

If looks could kill, Anya would be 6 feet under.

Lexa had managed to get out of bed and into her kitchen. She had a killer headache and was debating whether to put in the effort to go the Ark, but decided against it. She was just making herself a coffee, putting her keurig to good use, when Anya came through the door, having used her key. The sound of the door closing just made her head pound worse.

“I gave you that key for emergencies, not just to come in whenever you want,” Lexa snapped. The machine beeped, letting her know that her coffee was done. She gratefully took the cup, begrudgingly pouring half of it for Anya before taking a sip herself.

She sighed in relief as the hot liquid scorched down her throat.

Anya dumped the food on the counter before smiling and taking her cup.

“It is an emergency, Lex,” Anya said, “We need to hang out and talk,” Anya smiled wider at that.

Lexa didn’t like the sound of it, but made her way over to her couch and sunk down anyways.  She felt more than heard Anya still the kitchen, every plate she pulled out and fork she dropped resonating in Lexa’s head thanks to her hangover. Finally, Anya joined her on the couch. She passed her a plate and they both started eating.

Once she’d inhaled her first few forkfuls, she set her plate down on the coffee table. Lexa sighed and turned to face her friend who sported a wide grin on her face. Lexa decided to get straight to the point.

“Okay, why are you really here? Don’t bullshit me,” Lexa leaned back and rubbed her temples.

Anya took a moment to reply, “Fine. Fine. You got me. So did you enjoy last night?”

Lexa saw the humor lighting her eyes and sighed. Now _knowing_ exactly where this was going.

“Yes, I did. Thank you for asking. Did you?”  

“Oh, we did. All of us. Especially after we saw you getting all cozy with Clarke,” Anya teased. Lexa rolled her eyes, and then stopped when it made her brain feel like it was melting, “You really looked like you were enjoying yourself,” Anya mentioned, “Even let her hug you at the end of the night and all.”

“Yes, we’ve established I had a nice night. Yes, she hugged me. I couldn’t very well push her away, now could I?” Lexa asked, slightly exasperated.

“Why not? You do it to everyone else. What makes Griffin different?” Anya barraged her with questions, and Lexa just sat back against the arm of the couch, suddenly not wanting to hear this, “You looked happy, Lexa. That’s all I’ve wanted to see for a long time,” Anya turned serious, all teasing gone.

Lexa smiled at her best friend’s -no, her sister’s- concern. She knew Anya cared about her. But Lexa didn’t like to be led by the hand toward realizations.

“I enjoyed myself, I’ll admit. Clarke isn’t at all what I thought,” She shrugged. “I guess you could say...I began to see her in a different light,” Lexa scooted closer to her friend and put her head on her shoulder, “I know you worry, but you don’t need to. I am happy.”

Anya sighed, “Happy with your work, yes, with your friends, sure, but I meant romantically. You deserve to be happy in that sense. Griffin sure seemed to have an effect on you, I could see that from across the bar, as could everybody else,” Anya nudged her slightly.

Lexa closed her eyes and thought back to last night. She didn’t remember the last time she had smiled so much or the last time she'd enjoyed herself so much outside of work. It was refreshing, but also scary as hell. Lexa wasn’t sure she could _risk_ it again and besides, it’s not like she had those types of feelings for the blonde. It was just a nice change of pace and she could see Clarke becoming a friend, that’s all. A friend she flirted with on occasion, maybe.

“Yeah, she’s an interesting person. I could possibly see us hanging out again. As she’s one of Raven’s best friends, it’s a distinct possibility,” Lexa said, not giving anything away.

“Okay, Lexa,” Anya relented, “You’re right though, it’s a possibility. But I really did come over to hang out though, not just grill you about last night. Want to watch some tv and just relax?” she asked, “When’s the last time we did that in the middle of the day?”

“I honestly don’t remember the last time,” Lexa said, burrowing into the cushions and getting comfortable. Anya flicked on the TV to a baseball game. She wasn’t paying attention as her mind was on a certain blonde and the memories last night. Before she knew it, she was fast asleep.

Her _last_ coherent thought was of Clarke.

-=-

Clarke felt her _luck_ return little by little.

A huge storm was moving in, crossing state lines, and though she would have drive roughly four hours to be anywhere near it, it was the best option she’d had all week. It was supposed to arrive the following day so she needed to get going and soon. It was already late afternoon. She called up Octavia telling her to pack an overnight bag, and that she would pick her up soon.

Clarke quickly shut everything down, before grabbing her own bag she had stashed away in the closet for cases like this. She double checked she had what she needed and almost barrelled a co worker over in her haste. She called out an apology over her shoulder before continuing to sprint to her truck.

She decided on a quick stop at the Ark to grab coffees to go and some sandwiches as it was going to be a late night and she didn’t want to deal with a hungry Octavia. She was vicious when she was hungry, even more so when she was tired and hungry, and Clarke wanted to avoid it at all costs. They had a long road trip ahead of them.

Getting everything to go, she headed to Octavia’s and texted her she was there. While waiting, she wondered if Lexa had heard about this storm. She probably had. She found herself conflicted.

As usual, she hoped the great Lexa Forrest hadn’t heard of it, so that she’d be the only one there.

But part of her wished she had, which was wildly different. But after last night, she couldn’t help but want to see the woman again. She smiled once again just _thinking_ about last night.  

Her thoughts were interrupted when Octavia hopped into the truck. They greeted each other and headed out on the road.

They talking and laughed even with the threat hanging over their heads, still enjoying themselves despite it all.

It was _exactly_ the reason why Clarke’s dreams had always included working with her best friends.

-=-

Lexa was woken up by her phone ringing. Anya was still passed out next to her. Lexa would have taken a picture of her drooling to tease her with lately if her phone wasn’t currently blowing up.

She grabbed it quickly. Raven had been calling repeatedly and was calling once again. Lexa immediately knew it was important.

“Yeah?” she answered, her voice still thick with sleep.

“Finally! I've been calling you both for the last thirty minutes. Big storm moving in a few hours away. Lincoln is taking the new jeep. I'll be there in a few in the van to pick you up. Pack a bag and tell Anya I got her covered.”

“Okay, got it.  See you soon,” Lexa hung up and sure enough she had an alert on her phone.

She nudged Anya awake before heading to her room to grab her bag.  She always had one ready here just like at the office. It was the life she’d _chosen_ , and though part of her wanted to go back to sleep, a bigger part of her was already filled with energy, getting excited at the prospect of seeing another tornado touch ground.

She double checked her bag just in case before heading out into the living room. Thankfully, Anya was awake. She was usually a pain in the ass to wake.

They both headed out and met the rest of the team before starting the long drive.

Lexa remained quiet most of the time, her head full of thoughts about another woman for the longest time. She’d heard what Anya had said. She’d considered it herself, deep in her subconscious, if she was honest.  Clarke was beautiful, and smart, and yesterday at the bar she proved to be on Lexa’s same wavelength, something that was so hard to find for her. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever gotten it right, not even with Cos…

She always somehow ended up back there. Doubting herself, and her ability to keep a relationship going.

Lexa shook her head. Even with all the warning signs, she couldn’t help but wonder when she _would_ see Clarke next.

They arrived late at the only working motel at the edge of the town, and figured that they should get some rest while they could. They checked into the place and got separate rooms, except for Anya and Raven, who seemed intent in proving to everyone how much better life was when you were in _love_.

They bid each other goodnight and headed to their respective rooms. Lexa dropped her bag off, but was still wide awake thanks to her nap earlier in the day. She decided to head outside and look at the stars.

It was something she used to do a lot when she was younger, so much so she lived with a permanent crick in her neck, but lately she hadn’t had any time for a beloved pastime.

She headed to the jeep and climbed onto the solid hood. She leaned back against the windshield and gazed up at the sky.  She loved the stars, she always had.  If she hadn’t loved storms as much as she did, just a tiny bit more, she probably would have been an astronomer.

She smiled at the memory of Gustus finding her in the backyard after she had first moved in. It was late at night and the garden was cold and covered in dew. She’d spent over the first decade of her life in a place, and that changed in a single day. She’d felt lost. The different room, the different smells, and sounds. The only thing she could go back, that she knew would remain the same, were the stars. So she sneaked out to see them.

Gustus caught her. But he didn't scold her, just laid down next to her and told her to make a wish, even if there weren’t any shooting stars, because she could do anything she set her mind to. She smiled at the memory. Lexa had wished on everyday stars ever since.

She heard someone walking across the parking lot beside her, and sat up. Lexa thought it was a trick of the light at first.

Years later, what Gustus said still seemed to be true. She’d _wished_ to see Clarke again.

And here she was.

-=-

Clarke had gotten in later than they planned as they had stopped for gas and more snacks.  They checked into their motel and dragged their bags up before Octavia immediately crashed and was asleep in minutes.

Clarke laid down, exhausted from the day as well.  Still, she couldn't sleep with everything on her mind. Worrying about her next segment, losing her dream, Octavia being demoted or even fired and then Lexa.  

Clarke sighed and reached for her bag.

Checking that Octavia was still asleep, she walked out of the room and toward the parking lot. The hotel wasn't very busy on a Tuesday night, and as late as it was, she didn't run into anyone. Clarke’s mind was fixated on what she _was_ going to do. She really wanted a big twister to hit.  No, she needed one too. And when it did, it would be so much easier to get good footage.

She was so completely zoned out that she missed the fact that someone was watching her.

It wasn't until she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, that Clarke snapped out of it and searched around until her eyes met green.

It only stopped her for a second. She smirked and headed that way.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Clarke called out in a light tone and swore she saw Lexa smile in response.

“I know right.  What are the chances?” Lexa asked sitting up, “Want to come up?”

“Sure,” Clarke climbed up, sitting close enough to Lexa that their knees brushed, “Nice ride,” Clarke told her, patting the hood of the jeep.

Lexa shrugged, “The network.”

Clarke nodded. If only things were so _easy_ for her. Her single truck was mess, and kept causing her more trouble than it was worth, but she didn’t have any alternatives. Certainly not a whole bunch of people backing her and financing her every whim. She didn’t mean to sound so bitter towards Lexa, but the _pressure_ on her shoulders was only mounting with each passing hour.

Tomorrow, it would be _all_ or nothing.

“Do you mind of I I smoke?” she asked Lexa, digging through her bag for the packet of camels she’d finally gotten out of her drawer that morning. A christmas present from Octavia, she’d only had the one back in December before stashing them away and letting them be forgotten.

She needed one now. She was aware of how unhealthy it was, and that her mother would probably get a heart attack at her expense, (a cardiologist raising a smoker?) but she couldn’t help it, not with how anxious she was about the storm moving in.

“Su-sure,” Lexa told her, “Go ahead.”

Clarke caught her expression from the corner of her eye, and felt the need to explain herself.  (Which was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Except she actually wanted Lexa to think well of her.)

“Don't worry,” she reassured her, “I only do it when I'm really stressed, which isn't often. Not going to get lung cancer here,” Lexa nodded, but she didn’t seem convinced.

Truth be told, she was often stressed, just not stressed enough to smoke about it. And anyway, there was at least another step to her stress scale, and it’s pot. She hadn’t been in that place since the last time her segment’s ratings were the lowest of the channel. Octavia had a blast than.  

Clarke took the orange carton out of her bag.

“Do you want one?” She asked, lighting her own.

Lexa shook her head.

Clarke took a drag. God bless Octavia.

The packet read ‘Mandarin Mint’ beneath the logo, and the damn things actually tasted like it. She could already feel herself loosening up.

“Come on,” she offered Lexa again, handing her the cigarette.

“Uh-” Lexa took it, and Clarke contained a smile at how she looked at it as though it was a poisonous snake. She’d often thought beneath Lexa’s badass exterior there was a lot of self-containment and repression, and Lexa as good as confirmed it.

“These are terrible for your body,” Lexa told her.

“I know,” she said. She looked down at the Lexa. The woman had an enviable body, that much was true. Maybe it wasn’t so much repression then.

Lexa put it to her mouth.

Clarke wasn’t expecting it, she’d already accepted and taken back her cigarette in her mind, but Lexa surprised her. It rested between her lips for a second, and Clarke felt a hot flash run through her body at the thought that Lexa was placing her lips right where Clarke’s had been.

And then Lexa started coughing like crazy.

“Okay!” She laughed, taking the cigarette back and patting Lexa on the back, “You okay?” she asked, chuckling. Lexa looked up, and Clarke leaned back, realizing how close they’d gotten. “Good?” she asked, scooting back.

Lexa shook her head and then laughed at herself.

“Are those supposed to taste like that?”

“How do you know what regular cigarettes taste like, huh, Miss ‘my body's a temple’?”

Lexa rolled her eyes.

“Anya had a phase in high school.”

Clarke nodded. She hadn’t hung out with Anya enough to get to know her, she hadn’t been as close with Raven since she’d left the team. It was something she was planning on changing.

“Yeah, they’re different,” she admitted, “They were a gift from Octavia,” Clarke said, raising the orange packet.

“Octavia,” Lexa said. “You’re close.”

It wasn’t a question, but Clarke nodded anyways.

“Like sisters,” she said. “How about you? Anya?”

Lexa smiled. Clarke found she quite liked the view. And she enjoyed what they were doing here. It was late and the night was hazy and it felt a lot like they were getting to know each other.

“I consider us sisters,” Lexa said.

“You grew up together, right?” Clarke mentioned, hoping Octavia had mentioned it to her via Raven or Anya herself, and she wasn’t remembering the fact from reading Lexa’s Wikipedia page.

“Yeah. Same group home. She was there as far back as I remember,” Lexa shrugged, “If she’s feeling melodramatic she’ll tell people that she was my first memory.”

She knew Lexa was adopted, that she’d grown up in the system. It was out there, you couldn’t be as well-known as she was -at least in the circles they moved in- and have your private life remain private.

Clarke did wonder about one thing, and she hoped it wasn’t rude of her to ask. Her curiosity could be the greatest thing about herself, or the worst.

“Your...dad.” She hoped the word was right. “He didn’t adopt her too?”

Lexa shook her head.

Clarke only then noticed the cigarette burning away in her hand, and took a small drag of it.

“She was too old by then. I’m sure he would have adopted her anyways, though.” Lexa laughed. “It’s like he did it in any case, she’s there every holiday.”

Clarke smiled at the image Lexa painted.

“With her cigarettes?” Clarke teased.

“It _was_ only in high-school,” Lexa doubled down, “She would get up to all sorts of things during crazy hours of the night. I’d cover for her a lot.”

“You didn’t join her?”

Clarke imagined a teenage Lexa, shorter and less secure. What would she have been like?

“No,” Lexa said, “Didn’t have the time. I was always just...studying, or reading, or simply...looking up,” Lexa looked up then, and Clarke followed her stare, until both their eyes were lost on the stars above.

She felt miniscule. Unimportant.

But not cold, as usual. She was next to Lexa now.

Lexa’s voice broke the silence.

“How about you?” Lexa asked. Clarke felt her smile recede, “What about your family? Do they like that you do...” she signaled around them, the chilly night, the empty parking lot. “This?”

Clarke chuckled.

“My mom hates it,” she said flippantly. She brought the cigarette back to her lips, an instant reaction when the subject turned to her mother, “And my dad…” Clarke swallowed. “He passed away the summer before my sophomore year of high-school.”

“I'm sorry.”

Clarke waved it away.

“It’s in the past,” she said, ignoring the pressure behind her eyes, “I should go,” she said, jumping off the hood of the car and putting out her cigarette with her foot, “Night, Lexa.”

Clarke felt Lexa’s eyes following her as she went back inside.

-=-

Octavia shook her awake.

Clarke nearly fell out of bed when she heard her voice, and the sound of the sky ripping itself apart. It sent _pure_ adrenaline coursing through her veins. She was dressed in a minute, thoughts of a shower or even brushing her teeth not even coursing through her mind. This was it.

And she knew she was going to get it. She could feel it.

The world was chaos when she stepped outside. It always was, but it never failed to surprise her when she saw trees bending over with the strength of the breeze, or the less picturesque ice machines trying to stay on the ground.

It was _amazing_.

“Clarke! Help me get this in the truck!”

“Got it!”

She helped Octavia with the tripod, which the wind wanted to carry away.

She noticed Lexa’s team fighting the same battle beside them, getting their equipment ready in their usual van, and she felt a second of smugness. Even with all their resources, the wind treated them all the same.

“Clarke!”

She turned to look at Raven.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Her friend walked over to her, fighting to make herself heard through the rising sounds of the storm coming, “Look, there’s a house about half a mile from where the tornado touched down. The owners are fans of Lexa and they let her use it in exchange for a shout out,” Raven rolled her eyes, then became serious again, “They have a bunker. This one’s a big one, Clarke. It’s just...so you know.”

Clarke nodded.

“Does Lexa know you’re offering us entrance into her clubhouse?” she asked.

Raven smiled.

“It was _her_ idea.”

-=-

Octavia pushed the truck to its very limits as they rushed to the house.

It was close enough that they could record, but not close enough that they risked losing the truck (or very well their lives). With ease born of months and months of practice, Octavia parked and had the camera set up in minutes, and Clarke was ready to roll a second after that.

She looked behind her, at the tornado rolling in the distance.

“Clarke, go!”

She freezed. Looked back. Suddenly, it seemed too far away. Will her viewers think that’s enough, after what she managed to get last time?

“Clarke, go!” Octavia repeated. But she couldn’t.

They couldn’t _afford_ not to get this right.

“Wait a second,” she told Octavia, running back to the truck and getting their hand-held camera. She just needed to check if it was possible, if there was a way...She was this close already, she couldn’t let the moment go to waste.

“Clarke?”

She looked up only to find Lexa looking at her.

“What are you doing?” Lexa asked.

Clarke didn’t answer. There was no time to waste.

She was too focused, checking the battery was in that she nearly jumped when Lexa’s hand was suddenly on her shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m just checking, I need to know if-”

“If what?” Lexa demanded, “That’s a handheld camera, are you going to walk there or-”

“You don’t get it, okay?” Clarke told her, desperate. “I need to do this.”

Lexa didn’t let go.

“Clarke, look at the size of this thing. This is a terrible idea-”

Clarke shook her hand off.

She walked past Octavia, to the middle of the street, and turned the hand-held camera on. She zoomed in. What she saw...it was amazing.

It was the _reason_ she became a stormchaser in the first place. The raw power and beauty up close would be the best thing she’d ever record. She was sure of it.

She was doing it.

She moved the camera away from the mesmerizing image, searching for a place they could secure the truck to when it came closer. Some place they could secure themselves-

A well. There was a well in the path of the tornado. If the worse came to pass, she’d have a place to hide.

She ran back to the truck, past Octavia’s bewildered face.

“Clarke, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

She looked up at her friend.

“I’m getting closer,” she told her.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” Octavia asked her. Her long hair whipped around, escaping her ponytail, and her eyes were on fire. Clarke knew another apology wouldn’t get her out of this, but in time, Octavia would see.

She was doing this for the both of them.

“You don’t have to come,” she told her, “Actually, it’s better if you don’t.”

She got in the truck.

“Clarke, stop!” Octavia demanded, banging her hand on the door.

“Clarke?!” She heard Raven yell, “What the fuck is she doing?!”

She turned the key in the ignition.

The truck didn’t start.

“Clarke, get out of the car!” Octavia demanded. She shook her head.

No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Fuck.

The truck wasn’t budging.

She jumped down.

“I just have to check under the hood, it’s probably the-”

“I’m leaving!” Octavia told her. Clarke stopped dead in her tracks, “If you take a single step closer to that tornado I’m leaving for good, because I didn’t sign up to see my best friend die.”

Clarke stopped. She looked up, saw the rare tears brimming in her friend’s eyes. What the hell was she doing?

She was at a _loss_ of words.

“We film here or we don’t film at all,” Octavia told her, extending her hand. Clarke took a deep breath, took took the keys out and gave Octavia the keys before nodding.

“Good,” Octavia said.

Clarke walked in front of the camera, and Octavia set up behind her.

“Ready? 3, 2…”

“What’s wrong?” Clarke asked.

“It’s changing direction!” O yelled back over the wind.

“What?” Clarke turned around. It was effectively changing course-

And the truck wasn’t starting.

No. Not again.

“Octavia, the truck!”

They popped the hood of the truck, and Clarke worked frantically to try to figure out what was wrong. She could see Lexa’s van packing up out of the corner of her eye, which only added to her desperation.

She checked the engine for a third time, but there was nothing obvious out of place-

“Clarke.”

“No, wait-”

“Clarke! Stop.” Octavia’s hand landed on her arm, pulling her away from the car. “Stop. They’re gone. It’s gone.”

-=-

She didn’t cry.

Not while they waited for tow-truck, not while they got back to the motel, and not when Lexa, Raven, and the rest of her team got back. She was used to the crushing disappointment. The feeling only intensified when they all got together in Lexa’s room. She went at Octavia’s insistence, but their celebration was too much for her, even if they’d clearly toned it down for her sake.

To them, she was bummed about missing a tornado, but would get plenty more opportunities to. Clarke knew the truth. Today could have very well been her _last_ day out in the field.

“Smoke break,” she announced to the room, and stepped outside.

She walked a few steps, until she wasn’t able to see her friends through the blinds.

But just because they were out of sight didn’t mean they were out of her mind. She thought about Octavia, and how she could lose her job. About Raven, and how she was right to have left before Clarke got a chance to drive the show to the ground and cost Raven her job too. She thought about herself, and how she could lose her dream.

She thought about Lexa. Lexa, with the fans and the show and the van, and the fucking jeep. Lexa with her smile and her eyes, yes, but also with the equipment that Clarke would kill for. She turned to look at Lexa’s van, her logo proudly displayed on the side.

If Clarke had a vehicle like that, she _wouldn’t_ be in this position.

She remembered Lexa gushing about it, and with good reason. If Clarke could be that fast out in the field, if she had a machine that reliable, if she could store her footage in her van and edit as they rolled, she could-

The idea came into her brain unannounced, like an intruder barging into a home.

It made her nauseous that she could _even_ think such a thing, but it was even worse when the thought didn’t go away.

Lexa stored her footage in her van.

Clarke had nothing. She had absolutely nothing to show for today, or the week before, nothing worthwhile for her next segment. Octavia could lose her job. She could lose what she’s worked so hard for. But...Lexa had nothing to lose. She had everything already and it was rightfully hers, no one could take it.

Clarke glanced toward the motel, the door to Lexa’s room firmly closed. She looked toward the van.

And she made her _choice_.

-=-

Lexa stepped out of the room a few moments after Clarke did.

She didn’t want to intrude, but Lexa hadn’t stopped thinking about her since they left to shoot leaving her behind. She’d only been getting to know Clarke, really know her (and like her), for a short time; but anyone with eyes could have noticed the set of her shoulders, and the frown on her face.

She was sure her friends had, but they’d chosen to leave her be. Maybe that was the best course of action, but Lexa could never stay at the margin of things.

Clarke was leaning on her van when she walked out, her cigarettes nowhere to be seen.

Lexa was at least glad for that.

“Clarke?” she called out. The other woman jumped, “You okay?” she asked.

“I’m fine!” Clarke told her.

Lexa frowned. She didn’t seem fine.

At all.

“Are you sure?” She pushed, she couldn't help be worried, “Come back inside, please.”

She’d never pictured herself asking her that, ever, but here she was. Clarke took a step towards her.

“I- Look, I just-” She shook her head. “I need to be alone right now,” Clarke passed her and walked back to the rooms.

Lexa flinched when the door to Clarke’s room slammed closed after her.

Lexa turned around, not ready to go back to the ambience of celebration that overflowed out of her room just yet. It was a quiet night, the sky was clear. It was as though the storm had purified it all, like the tornado had swallowed the clouds and stars and left them standing beneath a magnificent, infinite spill of black ink.

Lexa looked down at the small, innocuous object in her hand. The fuse she _removed_ from Clarke’s truck in a moment of blind panic so her truck wouldn’t start.

Clarke might be angry and disappointed, but Lexa didn’t regret it.

Because at least Clarke _was_ alive.


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

Clarke took a deep breath as she finished up her segment. The lights were bright and felt too hot on her skin as she stood there.

She got off the small platform and walked away from her green screen. Clarke stared at the monitors around her, a repetition of the best takes playing over and over on the many screens.

It _almost_ felt like they were purposefully reminding her of what she did.

As soon as the 'live' light was out, Clarke turned around and left.

She didn’t even make it five steps out the doors before Octavia’s hand was on her arm turning her around. She couldn’t even look at her because she knew what she‘d see in her friend’s face. She couldn’t bear that right now.

“What was that? O asked. “Did you…” she looked around. “fake it?” she whispered.

They’d done it once before, when they were desperate. Taken old, discarded footage, tweaked it around until it could plausibly be from the day it was supposed to be. It hadn’t worked. Alie had given her a stern talking back then, reminding her that if she couldn’t do her job, there were a hundred people out there who would be able to manage.

Clarke shook her head.

“I didn’t fake it. That’s...it _was_ from the last storm.”

“But we didn’t get anything,” Octavia frowned. Clarke’s heart beat faster.

“We didn’t,” Clarke confirmed reluctantly, “But…'Into the Storm' did.”

She couldn’t say Lexa, she couldn’t feel like she had stolen from the woman directly, even if that was _exactly_ what she had done. What she’d chosen to do. But she was desperate. She considered lying for a brief second, but knew it would come out eventually.

She waited with bated breath for the backlash.

Octavia’s eyes were wide in disbelief.

“You didn’t. Please tell me you didn’t do what I think you’re saying you did.”

Clarke just stood there, and nodded, only once. She couldn’t find her voice.

“Oh My God! Clarke, what the hell were you thinking?” Her best friend ranted, luckily realizing where they were and lowered her voice. Fortunately, nobody was paying them any attention at the moment, as the anchors said goodbye to the audience for the night, “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? The trouble you could get into? Both of us!” Octavia grabbed her arm and pulled her outside.

Clarke followed.

Octavia paced the empty hallway once before making a sharp turn and keeping her rant going.

“Did you think this through at all? What about Lexa and her team?”

Clarke folded her arms in defense against the attack even though she knew she _deserved_ it.

“I wasn’t thinking clearly, okay? I was desperate. But I did what I had to do. I wasn’t thinking about the consequences, I was thinking about protecting this job. Protecting you!”

“Me!” Octavia huffed.

“You know as well as I do that if stormchasers is over Alie could kick you out instead of keeping you as a camerawoman or putting you in an editing office.”  
  
Octavia kept quiet, biting her lip.

“As for 'Into The Storm'….This won’t hurt them at all. They already have everything, Lexa- they have _nothing_ to lose.”

“Do you hear yourself right now? I can’t believe you,” Octavia hissed under her breath. “If you really don’t care about Lexa, fine.”

Clarke flinched. 

“But what about Raven? She’s our best friend. How could you do that to her? Hell, how could you do that to any of them?”

“I didn’t do anything to them, Octavia. It’s-” She tried to use the same argument she’d armored herself with when she went into the van, but in the light of day it seemed even more flimsy, “It’s to their show if at all. And they have nothing to lose,” she repeated, “Into the Storm won’t be cancelled. They had tons of footage left, even better than the few minutes I...I…” She couldn’t even say it now. How could she do it?

Clarke took a deep breath.

“I did what needed to be done. Raven will understand ” She unfolded her arms and started taping her thigh, “After all, she did something similar-”

Octavia gasped.

“If you think Raven leaving us when Lexa offered her a better job is anything at all like literally stealing, you’ve lost your mind,” Octavia said.

Clarke kept quiet.

Her best friend was voicing all the things she’d been thinking about. She already felt _guilty_ , she didn’t need her best friend to keep piling it on. And Clarke knew she would get so much worse once everyone else found out. If they found out.

“I can’t change it and I don’t know that I would if given the chance, because this is our job, O,” She bit her lip. She didn’t even believe her words herself, “You know how important it is. What would you have done?” Clarke asked, anger born out of _desperation_ coating her tone.

“Well, first of all, I wouldn’t have fucking stolen from someone, especially a friend,” Octavia argued, stepping close into her personal space, “I would have either gone with old footage, or fucking asked. Did that even cross your mind?”

Clarke took a step back. It _hadn’t_.

“Lexa may have said no, but stealing, C? That’s beneath you. You shouldn’t have even thought about it, let alone having done it,” She kept walking, until she was inches away from Clarke’s face, “So if I was in your position, no, I wouldn’t have done what you did.”

At that, Octavia whipped around and stalked off, muttering under her breath.

Clarke stayed rooted to her spot, watching her best friend walk away. She knew she was right. She knew she’d fucked up, but what other choice did she have? (She can’t even think about having asked. Would it have worked? Or would have Lexa, who until a week ago couldn’t stand her, freely given away her footage?)

She didn't know.

If only the stupid truck had started, she would’ve had her own footage and not resorted to...taking, theirs. She was left with no alternative or she would lose the one thing she loved. She was protecting that and protecting Octavia even if she didn’t see that right now.

She started walking towards the exit, when once again she was stopped. Fucking Todd. She was in no mood to socialize with her co-workers, so she politely nodded before continuing on her way.

She’d barely passed him when he started talking.

“That was a great segment, Clarke. I mean, you’re always great, but that was....” He made the sound of explosions leave his lips as his hands moved about in what Clarke guessed was supposed to be a ‘mindblown’ gesture.

She took a step back.

“Thanks,” she said, unsure. She wanted to leave. Go home.

“Why weren’t you in it, though?” he asked.

Clarke froze.

“I mean, I missed your pretty face, your hair getting all blown by the wind…” Todd gifted her with his regular sleazy smile, but the comment _stopped_ her dead in her tracks. Her palms started to sweat.

Clarke forced a smile on her face.

“Well, this time I couldn’t get closer,” she said. “It happens sometimes.”

Todd looked skeptical, but Clarke prayed he would believe her and drop it. He stared at her for a moment, and then smiled.

“Guess that’s true. It’s not like I would know how any of that works. I could never do what you do.”

Clarke felt her lungs fill with oxygen again. That was way too close. If even an idiot like him could notice a difference, would Alie? Would Lexa be watching?

“Yeah, I probably wouldn’t be standing here if I had went anywhere near it. Safest thing to do was film at a distance in a safe location,” she told him, commending herself for how steady her voice came out. She wiped her sweaty palms on her pant legs.

“You’re right, I’m glad you chose the safer route,” he told her, “You know how much I admire what you do, right? It can’t be easy. And I know it’s not just entertainment, you’re out there, braving those storms, giving people knowledge, saving lives...”

Clarke tried not to roll her eyes. Todd must do yoga, that was such a stretch.

“Thank you,” she repeated, “That’s nice of you to say. I gotta go, but have a good day,” She started walking away, but once again Todd stopped her.

“One more thing. I almost forgot.”

Clarke took a deep breath before turning around.  She was a fucking thief already, she could just add manslaughter to her list of crimes.

“Alie was looking for you,” Todd said. “Right after the news was over, but you’d left already. I’d told her I’d find you.”

“Oh. Did she...did she say what she wanted?”

“Yeah, for you to go to her office as soon as you can. She said it was important.”

“Okay,” she said. “Thanks for letting me know.” There was no way she could know, was there? She couldn’t possibly have figured it out.

Todd finally, mercifully left. She looked toward the sliding doors, a few steps more and she’d be out of the building, that much closer to her home and a glass of whiskey.

She grimaced and turned the other way around, walking deeper into the building and toward Alie’s office.

Time to  _face_ the music.

 -=-

Lexa woke up in a great mood even after getting home so late.

She’d had a fantastic day filming yesterday. The storm had been magnificent and a tornado had formed beautifully. They got back late the following day to get more footage as the storm hadn’t moved on yet. By the time she got home, she immediately crashed into her bed, not having the energy for anything else.

She started her day off by going for a run. She loved running, it was a way for her to clear her mind and get her exercise in at the same time, and she usually tried to fit it in her schedule every day.

An hour later, sweaty and muscles aching -in a good way, the best way- she got home, showered and changed before making coffee and having a small breakfast.

She decided to scroll through her phone and check out her social media accounts. She was rarely ever online, she devoted most of her time to reading articles and hounding the internet for places to visit, not exactly liking her high school friend’s baby pictures. Her friends had hounded her until she got a Twitter. An intern at the channel handled her show’s Facebook account, and Anya has made her an Instagram account a few months ago, though her pictures were few and far between.  She didn’t really understand any of those, but it made her friends happy and she was able to interact with her fans.

Which was most important.

They were one of the most valuable things she got from her show, and she understood how important it was to honor the people who supported her and shared what she was doing. It was an incredible and humbling thing. It was a really overwhelming feeling at first, for her face to be out there, but she’d slowly gotten used to it, and she actually enjoyed it now. She even had a group of fans buy her a star and name it after her. That one had really touched her, it was so generous and beautiful.

These days it was only hard because she wanted to thank every single one of them and it was _impossible_.

She scrolled through her feed. Or was it timeline? And came across several tweets regarding Clarke. Lexa only followed very specific people and her friends, and for the first time she could remember, Clarke’s segment was dominating the conversation when it was usually her show.

Before, Lexa would have been...jealous, she could admit that to herself, or at the very least upset, wondering what she could have done better.  This time, however, she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. She was pleased to see it, thinking Clarke deserved it...the _recognition_.

She kept scrolling, wondering if someone had uploaded a video of hers -strictly in the spirit of healthy competition, Lexa thought. (And maybe she just wanted to see if Clarke had looked as...good as usual in the middle of a storm.)

She saw a gif that looked _familiar_.

She didn’t have time to question it as her phone rang. A call from Gustus. She smiled before picking up the phone.

“Hi, Lexa?”

She smiled. She’d been so busy she hadn’t talked to him in a couple weeks,  and she felt bad about it, but knew he would understand. He always did.

“Hey dad, how are you?”

It had taken her over a year to call him that after he adopted her. It had felt almost too good to be true, getting adopted when she’d lost hope and had just been waiting to age out of the system, but he did. Even then, Lexa hadn’t trusted that he would stick around. She was used to everyone leaving, but he proved her wrong time after time.

She could still remember clearly the first time she said dad. He’d scooped her up in his arms even though she’d just gone through a growth spurt and was certainly too old and tall to be lifted like a little girl. He had, though, and hugged her tight, and Lexa had seen him wipe tears from his eyes.

“I’m doing well,” he said, in his familiar baritone, “Just calling to check on my favorite kid,” He laughed at his own joke, the sound reminding Lexa of warm home cooked meals and days feeding the ducks at the park.

“I’m your only kid, but nice try, old man,” Lexa teased back.

“Nope, Anya is my kid too,” he told her, “Just don’t tell her that you’re my favorite.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” she said. Lexa had almost forgotten how easy it was to talk to him. She debated whether or not to tell him about a certain woman she couldn’t get off her mind.

“Good. I raised you right. So really, how is my famous daughter?”

Lexa rolled her eyes at that.

“I’m not famous, I only have a show on the Discovery channel. That doesn’t make me famous.”

He laughed again, “Okay, Lex, if you say so. You haven’t answered my question though. How are you?”

“I’m good! Really good. Got back late yesterday from a storm a few hours away and it was a beautiful one. I got some really great footage and I can’t wait for you to see it. It was amazing! You would think after seeing as many as I do, I’d get bored, but I don’t. Not at all, dad.”

She heard him chuckle, and knew she was getting carried away, but it was her _passion_ , and he’d always understood.

“I always knew it but there’s no repetition of patterns, literally every single one is different and unique. Oh, and hiring Raven was a great decision. I mean, I knew that already, but with her new “baby” as she calls it, things are going phenomenal. We get more information than I ever thought possible and it’s just- wow.”

She took a deep breath, but smiled wide as she knew he would never judge her or interrupt her. He always listened patiently to her gush about storms and her research. He was always a great sounding board and best of all, she knew no matter what, he would always be there. She couldn’t be more thankful for that afternoon so many years ago, when he walked into her group home..

“That all sounds wonderful, Lexa,” he said, “Even though I don’t really...understand, most of what you just said.” He laughed. “I’m just glad to hear that you’re happy. That’s all I want for you,” He took a moment, “So...things are going great with work, as usual. My daughter is a genius. So tell me, are you going out with your friends? Pestering Anya? Are you...dating anyone?”

Lexa groaned.

Knowing how he was, this particular question was coming. He wanted her happy both professionally and personally, and Lexa kept failing in one of those aspects. Even back in the day, when she was still giving romance a serious try, he’d never been fond of Costia even though he’d never said a word. Lexa still knew.

“No, I’m not. You know I’m far too busy to have a dating life,” She paced around the room, “I focus all of my attention on my work, dad, and that’s how it has to be. At least right now,” she added, thinking she sounded a bit too resigned to dying alone, “You know that was one of the main reasons Costia and I broke up. It’s just- It’s a lot of work to have a relationship.”

Lexa sighed. Her mind wandered back to when Costia left her. Her exact words had been, “ _I’m not a priority to you, I never come first._ ” And Lexa hadn’t had an answer. She knew it was true. But she was still blindsided, she didn’t even get a heads up that Costia felt that way.

It happened so fast. One day she was there and the next she was gone. She shook head to dispel the depressing thoughts.

She heard Gustus sigh.

“Want to hear what your old man thinks? I think Costia wasn’t right for you. She wanted you to cater to her, to ignore everything, but her. She didn’t understand who you are. She didn’t deserve you.”

Lexa had never heard him be that vocal about the distaste she knew was there all along. He’d just been supportive after Costia dumped her, he’d never told her he saw it coming. She has a half a mind to be upset that he knew Costia and her wouldn’t go anywhere, but never chose to tell her. But she’d never be able to. She loves her dad too much.

“As for the work…Yes, a good relationship does take some work, but I promise you it’s worth it,” he told her, “One day you’ll find someone that appreciates you for you and who will understand your passion for your work. You’ll find your equal, I just know it. You just have to give yourself that chance.”

Lexa sighed. When he put it that way, it really did sound appealing. Or maybe that was just her knowing that she already knew a particular woman who got her.

“Ugh, alright. Fine. I’ll consider it, but-” she interjected, “I make no promises. Okay?” The image of Clarke’s blue eyes sprang to her mind. Lexa was seldom afraid, but it was downright terrifying to even imagine asking her out. Or more.

 “How’s everything for you, dad?” She wanted to change the subject and knew he would let her.

“It’s good, nothing to complain about here. I just wanted to call and check in and see when you’d be free for dinner. I haven’t seen you or Anya in a few weeks. I miss you.”

“Miss you too. How about next week? And I’ll see if Anya is free as well. You don’t mind if Raven comes, too, do you? They’re attached at the hip.”

“No, I don’t mind at all. That girl makes me laugh. It would be great to see you all. You can invite Lincoln as well. How about next Thursday?” Gustus asked.

“That should work unless something comes up for work,” Lexa leaned back in the chair already imagining the group there and wondering what it would be like if a certain blonde joined. Her dad would be ecstatic. And so _would_ she. Maybe. “I’ll see you then.”

“Okay, sounds good. I love you.”

“Love you too,” She hung up the phone with a smile and texted the group about dinner. Maybe it was just what she needed. A family night with the people who were important to her. Grabbing her phone again, she quickly got back to the gifs she’d noticed earlier, and all the talk about Clarke. The gif loaded, and Lexa’s heart sunk.

She looked at it again, this time pulling it up bigger, but there was no mistaking that. She knew it had looked familiar.

It was _her_ footage.

-=-

Clarke dragged her feet to Alie’s office, every _fiber_ of her body screaming at her to stop walking. She couldn’t. She knew if she didn’t show her boss would come looking for her. She knew if that happened, it would just make it worse, so she unfortunately decided against it.

When she got to the woman’s office, often referred to as ‘hell’ by a few co-workers, she took a deep, steady breath. Her brain had been buzzing the whole walk. Could she lie? If she did and Alie bought it, would it hold up? A few minutes of footage for a segment that not a lot of people watched and that would not aired again, she’d honestly thought no one would be able to tell. Not even Lexa. She didn’t even like her, Lexa wouldn’t watch. And no one would know.

But what if anyone did?

She squared her shoulders before she knocked on the door. She walked in and noticed Alie wasn’t alone. She had a man with her Clarke didn’t recognize.

“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting, but I was told you wanted to see me?” She hesitantly said before putting her hands behind her back and clasping them tightly together.

“No, not at all my dear. We were just waiting for you,” The older man said gesturing for her to sit, “I’m Dante Wallace, I’m one of the shareholders. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” He held out a hand to shake.

Clarke was thoroughly confused, but shook his hand politely.

“It’s nice to meet you too, sir. Is everything okay?”

Alie had been sitting behind her desk silently while introductions were made. When Clarke looked her way, she smiled widely, which Clarke thought was…creepy. Just straight up fucking creepy.

“Everything is great. We just wanted to say congratulations on another great segment."

The preliminary ratings are in and they are steady, so nothing to worry about,” Clarke understood what wasn’t being said, “Mr. Wallace wanted to come down and congratulate you himself.”

Clarke felt _guilt_ churn violently in her stomach. She was getting praise from her boss and the higher ups for something she didn’t even do. She wanted to throw up. She’d been dreaming of this moment for years, but now that it was here Clarke didn’t want it. It was tainted. Instead of her own work, she was getting praise for footage she took to save her own ass.

“Thank you, but I was just doing my job,” She desperately wanted to downplay it. For the first time ever, she didn’t want to see the wide smiles on the faces of the people who signed her paychecks.

“That’s nonsense, Miss Griffin. We are very impressed with the work you’ve been doing. That’s why I wanted to come down myself and tell you personally,” Mr. Wallace clasped her on the shoulder, “You do amazing work and it deserves to be recognized.”

“That isn’t necessary. I love what I do, but I don’t...I don’t really need anything more than being able to-” _Continue being a stormchaser,_ she wanted to say. But she couldn’t tell just how high up the plans to cut her segment if it under performed went, “To do it,” she said simply. Clarke could feel the tears building in her eyes.

Alie spoke again.

“Keep up the good work and, be careful, of course-” They laughed. Clarke forced a smile, “And I don’t see a reason why your segment won’t be with us for a long time. Unless, of course-”

Clarke looked up.

“We decided to expand it,” Alie mentioned. Wallace nodded. Clarke’s heart beat fast.

“As in more time or-”

“A show of your own,” Wallace said. Clarke held in a gasp, “It’s about time this channel gave other stormchasers some fight.”

Clarke swallowed. She knew he was talking about Lexa. There was no _other_ stormchaser as well-known or reputable as her. What would they say if they knew the footage she was being lauded for wasn’t her own, but her competition? Their competition?

The worry almost drowned out the chant in her ears. A show of her own. A show of her own.

“But of course, these are just preliminary ideas,”Alie said, “In fact, I don’t think we should have mentioned anything.”

“Yes, ma’am, I understand,” Clarke nodded. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, saving her from the situation, “I’m sorry, I need to go, was there anything else?” She asked, praying to god there wasn’t.

“You can leave,” Alie said shortly with that smirk on her face still. Clarke tried to smile back.

“It was an honor to meet you, truly,” Wallace said, “If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to contact me,” He handed her his business card before shaking her hand again.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” She got up, “Have a good day.”

She hurried outside before pulling out her phone. She had a missed call from Raven as well as a few text messages.  Fuck.

It was over.

If Raven knew...

Her breaths came faster, and she _chose_ to ignore her cell phone until she was at least out of the building.

She couldn’t ignore it for long though as Raven was leaning against her truck, waiting for her in the parking lot.

Just looking at Raven’s expression, she knew it wasn’t going to be good.

She shuffled her feet forward until she was next to her friend. They stood in silence for a moment before Raven turned and just stared at her.  
  
“What the fuck, Clarke?” Clarke could tell Raven was pissed and rightly so. Her bronze cheeks flamed in anger, and Clarke could feel warmth climbing up her chest too. She wasn’t just embarrassed, she was mortified.

"I’m guessing- I take it you…saw?” She stammered out.  
  
“Of course I did, I watch your segment every week,” Raven said. Clarke felt the words like a punch to her chest. She hadn’t known that. She hadn’t...accounted for that. “Regardless of…” Raven gestured between them, “This animosity between us, you’re still my best friend.”  
  
She was surprised, bitterly surprised. She didn’t think Raven still felt that way, not after leaving them. 

Her thoughts were all over the place.

“I didn’t know,” she gasped out, fighting the tightness in her throat, “I thought….has Lexa…does Lexa know?”  
  
Raven shoved her back a step. Clarke took it.

“You thought what? That because I left, I stopped fucking caring, that I stopped being your friend? That’s bullshit. As for Lexa, not yet, because I bet she’s still knocked out after working so hard. Because that’s what we do,” Raven added. Clarke felt the well-placed dig. “But she _will_ find out.”

Clarke dragged her fingers through her hair.

What the fuck had possessed her to think this would pan out?

“ _Shit, shit, shit.”_ She looked up at Raven. “Look, I know what I did was wrong,” she told her. “I know that, but I was desperate and didn’t have any other choice.” Clarke looked up, hoping the sky would break open and thunder would smythe her down. That’d be preferable. Or maybe a tornado could finally take her once and for all.

“That it?” Raven asked, mockingly. Clarke looked back at her.

“You don’t work here anymore! You have no idea what’s been going on,” Clarke couldn’t help the anger that laced her tone at the end.

“Oh hell no. You don’t get to do that,” Raven told her firmly. “You don’t get to guilt me for leaving. I had a better opportunity. You can’t hold that against me forever. If it was you who was offered it, you would have taken it without hesitation. I know you would have so don't even try and deny it!” Raven paced a few steps before turning back to her. “Fuck! You could’ve come to me, you could’ve confided in me and I would have done anything to help you. Just because we don’t work together doesn’t mean we stopped being friends. We were friends first!” Raven’s voice had risen so loudly, they were garnering attention from others in the parking lot.  
  
“Can you please lower your voice, I don’t need my personal business aired for everyone to see. Get in my truck...please,” Clarke went around to the driver’s side and unlocked it before getting in. She noticed Raven standing there as if debating whether or not to follow, but she finally got in.  
  
“I’m here,” Raven sat stiffly in the seat, spine straight, arms crossed. She wouldn’t even make eye contact with her and Clarke knew she _deserved_ it. Clarke continued talking.  
  
“I know I fucked up. I know you did what’s best for you. I do. I guess…” She stopped again and looked out the window. An add for the evening news stood in front of her. A photo shopped tornado spun behind her, while the words “Stormchaser” were emblazoned above her chest. That was _who_ she was. And she’d dreamed of having her own show, of being like the great Lexa Forrest...and now? She just couldn’t believe how far everything had spun out of control.

"You guess what?"

“I was jealous, okay,” she told Raven. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“You can say you’re sorry, but that doesn’t fix anything. What you did to the team was something else. Forget about you and me right now. You betrayed our trust, _Lexa’s_ trust. And she doesn’t trust easily. You stole what we worked so hard for, and for what?” Raven turned toward her, brow furrowed. “To get us to fail? Sink her? I just- I don’t understand how you could do that.”  
  
There were tears in Raven’s eyes when she finished talking.  
  
“I didn’t want to do it,” Clarke said. “I didn’t set out thinking I would steal footage. I was going to get my own, like Octavia and I always do. But then my truck broke down, and Alie had been on my ass about ratings and-” She breathed hard. “You don’t have to hear my excuses. I just want you to know I’m sorry for everything,” She met Raven’s dark eyes. “You’re right, I could’ve come to you and told you everything and I probably should have. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this mess. It’s spinning out of control and I don't know how to stop it.”  
  
“Will you tell me what’s really going on? I know you and there _has_ to a reason you would sink so low. There has to be,” Raven finally looked at her, begging her with her eyes to be honest.  
  
“I’m sorry, Rae, I just- I can’t tell you right now,” Not even Octavia knew yet about what Alie had said about a separate show for them, if she told Raven- Lexa would know. And they would both think she did it to get ahead, that she thought it through, not because she was desperate.

It was her _last_ resort.

“There’s too much at stake,” she told her. “Please believe me. I never wanted to betray any of you, not you, and not Lexa. Just can you trust me, please,” Clarke groveled to her friend, tears running down her face. “Let me figure this out, and please let me be the one to tell Lexa. She deserves to hear it from me directly, not anyone else.”  
  
Raven looked her best friend in the eye and sighed.

“Fine. I’ll trust you, Clarke, for all those years we were best friends, because fuck knows you don’t deserve my trust right now,” Raven said. Clarke nodded. “And I expect you to tell me whatever the hell is going on soon. And you better find her sooner rather than later. As far as I know, I’m the only that knows, but it won’t stay that way for long.”  
  
“Thank you Rae, I really appreciate it,” She let out a small smile before reaching and grabbing her friend in a hug. “I’ve missed you.”

Raven swallowed, hard. Clarke heard it when they hugged.

“I missed you too,” she said, pulling away. “You fucked up though, big time. And you need to fix it, C. I’m still pissed and I don’t understand, but I meant what I said. I do trust you,” Raven squeezed her arms before letting go. “I have to go. Don’t be a stranger. Oh, and before I forget-”

Raven looked around her car, and then grabbed one of the many notebooks that littered Clarke’s dashboard, and wrote down something with the pen she always carried tucked over her ear. Raven handed her the notebook open on that page.

“Bye.”  
  
Raven got out of the car and walked away.  
  
Clarke looked down to see Lexa’s phone number and address scribbled down. She knew she _needed_ to be the one to tell her. It was the right thing to do. Maybe it would lessen the blow hearing it come from her. Maybe if she explained-

Would Lexa call the cops on her? Would she tell everyone and her career would be over? Clarke didn’t know. But she did know she had to come clean now, since keeping it quiet wasn’t an option any longer.

She plucked up the courage and started the car. This conversation would be _better_ to have face to face.

-=-

Lexa wasn’t just pissed. She _was_ outraged.

She couldn’t believe Clarke would have the audacity to do something like this. She thought they had moved passed their rivalry the night at the bar. Apparently not. She just couldn’t believe it. Was Clarke faking it the entire time? Trying to get close to her just to have access to her work?

She should have never let her guard down. She was familiar with getting hurt, and this hurt more than she wanted to admit.

She’d let her in, despite her own reservations she’d trusted someone new. She’d let Anya and Raven and their teasing get her carried away from the facts.

Lexa got up and searched around for keys. She needed to find the woman and confront her, demand an explanation. She deserved at least that much. She at least wanted to know why, even though she was pretty sure she knew the answer already. She grabbed her keys and jacket and swung open her door only to run head on into someone, knocking the person back a step.

“Hey, watch where you’re going, why don’t you?” Raven called out.  
  
“What do you want, Raven? I’m in a hurry,” Lexa growled before straightening up. She took a step back and leaned against the wall.

“I just came by to see you. Aren’t I allowed to do that? We’re friends.”  
  
“You never come here unless you’re with Anya, first of all,” Lexa glared at her daring her to contradict her.

“Fair enough,” Raven said. “Where are you going?”

How could she answer that one? To see the woman who stole from us? A woman who is supposed to be one of your best friends?

“To see Clarke,” she answered instead, though her tone of voice left no guessing as to the nature of her visit.

“You know,” Raven said quietly.

Lexa looked up at her.

" _You_ know?” Lexa took a step toward her, her head spinning. “Were you in on it?”

“What? No!” Raven told her, raising her hands. “I just found out. How do you know?”  
  
"It was all over social media. I noticed a gif…” Lexa pulled her phone out of her pocket, saw it was on the same screen and handed it over. “I realized that it was my footage and I was going to… Wait, how did you find out?”  
  
Raven looked down at Lexa’s phone, her brow scrunched up before she replied.

“I watch her segment every week, that’s how I found out.” Raven shrugged. “I don’t have a clue what’s going on, but I know her and she wouldn’t do this if there wasn’t a _damn_ good reason.”

Lexa heard Raven’s words, how she tried defending her friend, and she was having none of it. Clarke had _betrayed_ both of them.

“I don’t care what the reason is. She stole from me. From us. Footage we worked our ass off to get,” She took a breath. “She used me. This must have been some sort of game to her. Get close to me, be nice and appear interested. Make me feel…it was all a ploy for her to steal from us. And I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall for it-”

“Lexa, no-”

“I can’t believe I was starting to trust her. How big of an idiot am I?” Lexa turned her head to the side so Raven couldn’t see the tears threatening to fall. She hadn’t cried in years, she sure as hell wasn’t going to cry over Clarke. She didn’t deserve her tears.  
  
“I know Clarke. She wouldn’t have used you. I know that much. She isn’t that type of person. She wasn’t playing a game, there’s no way. When you hung out with her at the bar, that was the real Clarke, she wasn’t faking it. I would know if she was. I’ve known her forever it seems like,” Raven took a deep breath and looked straight at her, but Lexa was still avoiding her eyes. “Clarke is a good person and I wish I could tell you why she did this. I even confronted her about it, and she does feel…” Raven was cut off.  
  
“You’ve already spoken to her,” Lexa said. “I can’t believe you’re defending her after what she did. She didn’t just do this to me, she did this to our team, the one your girlfriend is on. You know, the team you’re supposedly a part of? Did you forget about that? She betrayed all of us, not just me. She fucked us all over.”

“I know!” Raven exclaimed.

“Do you? She’s trying to- to drive the show down the drain, to hurt us, or to get ahead in her own- either way, I can’t listen to you defend her. She doesn’t deserve it. I get that she’s your friend, I do. But you’re on my team, so you’re either with me or against me.”  
  
Part of her understood Raven, even _though_ she didn’t want to.

She knew deep down if Anya was the one to do this, she would defend her, so the rational part of her understood where Raven was coming from. The other part of her wanted to hit something and hit it hard. She needed to get away and blow off some steam because seeing anyone in this state wouldn’t be good.

Especially if it was Clarke.

She decided to change her plans and hit the gym first. She had time, a storm wasn’t supposed to move in till late tonight or early tomorrow morning. And she’d at least have time to figure out what to do. She couldn’t just barge in and demand an explanation from Clarke. She needed a plan of action.  
  
Lexa went to keep walking, but Raven stopped her.

“I _am_ on your team and I haven’t forgotten that. And yeah, she betrayed all of us. Believe me, I know. My next stop is going to Anya’s. But I just wanted to come here first to see how you were because I do care about you. I’m defending her because she’s my friend and I know you’d do the exact same thing if the roles were reversed,” Raven sighed. “Clarke didn’t use you, she wouldn’t...couldn't do that.”  
  
Raven stood up and went to hug her, but stepped back again when Lexa crossed her arms. Lexa really didn’t want to be touched right now.

“I’m not making excuses for her, not really,” Raven said. “I just know there’s something else going on.”

Raven walked away, leaving Lexa standing in her own hallway, a million thoughts running through her head.  
  
Lexa didn’t know what to think, didn’t know what to _believe_. She knew she needed to talk to Clarke, but knew that cooling off first would be a good idea. She grabbed her gym bag from inside her door, and made her way out of the building.

-=-

Clarke parked her truck and sat in the cab with her head pressed against the wheel for a few minutes. She was trying to figure out what she was going to say. She knew she would apologize profusely first and than try to explain why she did it, but she couldn’t tell her the whole truth. She couldn’t risk her job and Octavia’s even more. She had to be as honest as possible though without divulging everything. Clarke looked down at herself and noticed she was still wearing her work clothes that were now wrinkled, but she decided it didn’t matter, and slowly got out and shut her door.  
  
She looked down at the slip of paper, wondering if she should have called first. She knew Lexa would either hang up on her or ignore her so the best course of action was to approach her in person and hopefully get her to hear her out. She thought of all the different ways this could go.  
  
Lexa could tell her station about it and get her fired. She could get arrested for breaking into her van and stealing. There was so much at stake though and Clarke knew she needed to own up to it and not make excuses. She had been debating all day to turn herself in and just take the whatever the consequences were.

Clarke knew groveling may not be enough, but she had to at least try. She knew it might be too late to _salvag_ e the blooming friendship, but she owed her an apology.

Hell she owed her more than that.

She walked into the building with a heavy heart, knowing she was on the brink of _losing_ so much more then her job.  

She rode up on the elevator to Lexa's apartment and tried to steady her nerves before knocking on the door. She waited a couple minutes before knocking again.

Nobody answered. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or not. She had to talk to Lexa before she found out.  She pulled out her phone, getting ready to dial Lexa's number, but her phone started ringing before she got the chance.  

Looking down at her phone, she sighed knowing the apology would have to wait.

“Hello.”

“Storm moving in about an hour out,” Octavia snapped, still upset from earlier. Clarke didn't blame her. “Where are you?”

“I'm...nowhere, meet you at my apartment. Ten minutes,” Clarke replied running down the steps from Lexa’s third floor apartment deciding not to wait for the elevator.  

“Fine. You better be there.  I want footage that's actually ours,  not stolen from someone else,” She fired off before abruptly hanging up leaving Clarke to look at her phone with dread.  

She had so many fences to mend and didn't know where to start.  She was on the verge of losing her best friends, her job, and so much more. She needed to fix it and fix it fast.

She just didn't know _where_ to start.

-=-

Lexa was at gym beating the crap out of the punching bag and pouring out all her frustrations.  Boxing was very therapeutic for her and something she was introduced in foster care as a way to channel everything. She rarely had time for it, but still felt it working like it used to. 

She was dripping sweat when she took a break. She grabbed a water,  downing it before wiping her face off with her towel.  She stood there a moment catching her breath.  

She heard her phone ringing,  but was deciding to ignore it or not as she wasn't wanting to talk to anyone right now.

The phone rang again, Lexa grabbed her phone, saw it was Anya and pressed accept.  If she didn't answer, she keep calling till she did. Luckily Lexa picked up during the second time and not the tenth. 

“Hey.  What do you need?” Lexa was in no mood for small talk.

“I know you're at the gym and I know why, and we will be discussing that later. First things first. Go take a quick shower and be outside in fifteen minutes. We're picking you up. Storm heading in.”

“I'll be waiting. See you soon,” Lexa hung up, grabbed her bag before heading to the showers.

She was outside waiting for her team when they arrived.

Jumping into the jeep, the first thing she did was hold up her hand indicating to Anya, she didn’t want to talk about it. Anya looked like she was going to argue, but with the glare that Lexa directed was enough to shut up anyone.

They drove in silence about an hour north to catch the storm front that showed rotation. Lexa was studying the radar to pinpoint exactly where they needed to be. She spotted a blip and directed them northeast before they spotted the best spot they needed to stop.

They parked and went about their usual routine, that went smoothly like a well oiled machine. Lincoln setting the cameras, Anya and Raven setting up her 'baby' in the most likely path as Lexa got her own handheld camera and watched the sky. Waiting patiently, she could tell from the radar and the sky, that this was going to be a beautiful storm that may produce _more_ than one tornado and she felt the same thrill of excitement shoot thru her veins.

It dissipated quickly when she saw who had arrived, both sides looking like they were in a Mexican standoff, by the glares and clenched fists. She sighed, knowing she would have to see Clarke sooner or later.

She walked over standing in between both sides, holding up her hand signaling her team back. They begrudgingly turned around and walked away, but not without Anya shooting another look of hatred towards Clarke. Lexa pointed towards Octavia and motioned for her to join them. She stomped off towards Raven, and Lexa noticed the fury in her gaze directed at Clarke. Okay, so apparently Clarke’s best friend wasn’t in on it.

She didn’t expect that. It didn’t c _hange_ anything, but she did have more respect for Octavia now.

Lexa didn’t look at Clarke, but could feel her presence behind her. She turned around and faced her and could see guilt and remorse shining in her eyes. She didn’t let that deter her though and made sure she wasn’t showing any emotion when she finally locked eyes with the blue eyes shining with tears.

“You need to leave,” Lexa said with venom in her voice. She couldn’t look in her eyes anymore, or she knew she’d falter. Lexa still couldn’t believe that Clarke had stole from her. She focused on her anger building up inside her at the blatant disregard of her feelings by the blonde. “Now!”

Clarke looked apologetic. “Lexa, please. Hear me out. I owe you a massive apology. If you only knew what was going on, maybe you’d understand. I’m so sorry. It was never my intention to do this. Lexa...” Clarke looked like she wanted to reach out, but Lexa took a step back.

A few days ago, she would have embraced it, but that was the past.

This was now.

“I don’t care what the reason was. What I care about is that you stole my footage. Footage I worked my ass off to get. What I want you to know…” Lexa stepped forward right in Clarke’s personal space. “Is that if you don’t leave right now, I’ll tell your boss and I’ll sue you and the station to hell and back. You know I can and will do it. Don't force my hand, Clarke.”

Clarke took a step back, clearly not expecting that from the look of surprise that passed her face. Lexa got some satisfaction from that. Clarke had fooled her and stolen from her right under her nose. Lexa would _prove_ to her she wasn’t as stupid as Clarke had thought.

She had every right to pursue that if she chose too and she knew Clarke understood that. She could put her in jail.

“Okay,” Clarke told her, raising her hands. Lexa ignored her begging eyes. “I’ll leave. But I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you or your team. I know you don’t believe me and I don’t blame you, but it’s the truth.”

Lexa watched her call for Octavia before making her way back to her truck. Octavia went to pass her, but stopped in front of her.

“I’m sorry, Lexa. What she did was uncalled for and utterly wrong. I don’t agree with what she did," Lexa shot her a look, "I don’t and I’ve told her that. She had her reasons, but even with everything that’s going on, it still didn’t give her the right. If it helps, which it probably doesn’t right now, this isn’t her,” Octavia looked behind her and Lexa saw her eyes widen in excitement. “Enjoy the storm. You better go,” Octavia said and rushed off to the truck.

Lexa stood there for a moment watching the truck turn around and leave, she saw Clarke look back and Lexa whipped around as not to be caught watching. She had a lot of questions that _needed_ answering, but knew right now was not the time.

She looked towards the sky and saw a funnel starting to form and smiled. This is where her _focus_ needed to be, not on a lying blonde who had used her.

She motioned for Lincoln to start rolling and she got into position.

3...2...1…


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

They rode _silently_ the entire way back to Clarke’s apartment.

Clarke kept clenching and unclenching her fingers, gripping the steering wheel so hard at times her knuckles turned white. If Octavia noticed, she didn’t say anything.

They wouldn’t get anything tonight either. With a _single_ sentence Lexa had been able to send them packing, and now she was in the same place she’d been in last week, and for which she’d chosen such a stupid way out.

She could feel Octavia’s eyes on her, but still said nothing.

She had a lot of fixing to do and she needed to start with her best friend, she knew that. She deserved to know everything, from the beginning. Clarke knew she should have told her earlier, but the storm rolled in and it was put off.

Again.

Clarke also knew she should have been honest with Lexa . She deserved to know the truth. Screw the thinly veiled threats by Alie and screw the show she could possibly have.

If Lexa thought this was part of some greater plot, that she’d known if she used Lexa’s footage and kept those numbers up she was going to get her own show, in direct competition to Lexa’s...she’d go down. Lexa would _bring_ her down.

But could she make her believe that it was her last resort? Her stupid, rash last option? That she thought she would lose everything if she didn’t show something new in her segment? It was the truth, but even to Clarke’s own ears it sounded flimsy.

None of it mattered though, if she lost everything that was truly important along the way. What did it matter if she finally achieved her dream and looking around, she had nobody to share it with? Or she didn’t deserve it? She should have realized that sooner and not screwed everything up in the first place. It might be too late, but if Clarke could say anything about herself, she was a fighter and wouldn’t give up easily. She’d gotten this far in life already.

She parked the truck, and before Octavia could hop out she laid her hand on her friend's shoulder. Clarke expected it to be shrugged off, but instead, Octavia froze.

Clarke took that as a good sign.

“Can we talk, please? I just want to explain. Give me five minutes and if you want nothing else to do with me, I’ll understand. I know I fucked up. Please, O,” Clarke begged, not caring in the least. She didn’t want to lose her best friend over her stupid choice.

Octavia shrugged her shoulders before stiffly nodding her head. She climbed out of the truck and grabbed her stuff. Clarke was immensely grateful that Octavia was willing to still listen after what she did. Clarke knew she had to make it count.

Climbing out of the truck, she grabbed her own gear before heading towards the elevator as neither one of them wanted to lug their bags up five flights of stairs.  They didn’t speak, and the silence weighed heavily on her, but Clarke wanted to wait until they were in her apartment.

She unlocked the door and motioned for Octavia to go in first. They put their stuff down, before Octavia made for the kitchen and grabbed a couple beers. She popped the tops before handing one over. “Pizza?” She asked. Clarke smiled slightly.

“Yeah, that would be great. My treat.”

Octavia nodded and ordered their usual before putting her phone away and moving to the couch. Clarke followed hesitantly before sitting down next to her best friend. She was being overly cautious, she knew, but she also knew her best friend’s temper and didn’t want to provoke it. It was like poking a sleeping bear.

“Listen, C. I’m only here because you said you wanted to explain. So explain,” Octavia said. “We’re best friends and you went behind my back, with something that concerned both of us. That’s not something that I can forgive easily,” Octavia turned and stared and her. Clarke nodded her head in agreement.

“I don’t expect you too. What I did was inexcusable, I agree. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back or anyone else’s. I know that and I’m going to do whatever I need to do in order to fix this. But you...you’re my best friend and I don’t want to lose our friendship. It’s too damn important to me,” Clarke turned and looked directly at her friend who wasn’t meeting her eyes. She reached over and touched Octavia's hand.

Octavia didn’t pull away. “I don’t want to lose it either. You’re my best friend too.”

Here _goes_ nothing, Clarke thought. “After the segment, I got called to Alie’s office,” She saw Octavia roll her eyes. “She wasn’t alone. Mr. Wallace was there too. They talked about what a good job we are doing and they mentioned...my own show. I-” She didn’t get to finish before Octavia sprang off the couch.

“No fucking way. A what? You’re going to say no right? Like, this is what we wanted, but what if you say yes and then Lexa- shit. Lexa.” Octavia stopped pacing and grabbed her hands. “Clarke, explain.”

Clarke couldn’t lie, it was her _dream_ come true and if this would have been offered a week ago, she would have jumped at the chance. She knew though, she couldn’t take it if it was officially given to her, not right now, not with this looming over her shoulder. Clarke knew she needed to come clean to everyone and take the consequences.

“Technically, it hasn’t been offered...yet. Mr. Wallace let it slip and Alie was quick to say that they shouldn’t have said anything. But no, I wasn’t planning to accept it, not for this reason,” Tears sprung to her eyes, but she was quick to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you what I was doing. I never meant to entangle you in this mess, O. You had nothing to do with it.”

Octavia sighed, pulling her hands back before slumping back on the couch. “You should have told me. I would have talked you out of it. As for the Mr. Wallace and Alie, I know it’s your dream and I’m proud of you. I’m honestly relieved to hear say you wouldn’t accept it,” She rubbed her hands across her face. “It _has_ caused me some problems that's true. You’re my best friend, so naturally people assumed I had something to do with it too. I’m not even sure if Lincoln really believes I had nothing to do with it though,” Octavia flinched.

Clarke caught it.

“Lincoln,” Clarke said. “Lexa’s camera guy?”

Octavia nodded. It all made sense to Clarke then.

“Is he this mysterious guy you’ve been dating?” Clarke asked. She’d assumed it was some random stranger and that Octavia was nervous about introducing them, but she’d known him all along. 'Into the storm' crew. Seriously?

Octavia took a deep breath. “Yeah, he is. I knew you would find out eventually, I just didn’t realize it would be like this.”

Clarke felt guilty for a second after seeing Octavia’s face. Her friend looked almost wary of her reaction, and it weighed on her. Had she really been that intense about her rivalry with 'Into The Storm'?

“I mean, I did know how you felt about Raven leaving and then sleeping with the enemy, so...” She shrugged.

Clarke shook her head. “How long has this been going on?” She asked.

“A few...months,” Octavia grimaced. Clarke’s eyes popped open. Octavia hurried to keep talking. “He is such a great guy, Clarke,” she said. “So caring and thoughtful and sweet. I’m lucky to have him. Well, hopefully still have him. He’s pissed, more so because he heard what had happened through Anya and not me. He thinks because I didn't tell him myself that I had something to do with it. Or at least he did at first. He accused me of trying to sabotage his team.”

Clarke’s heart clenched at the expression marring Octavia’s features. Just how many relationships was she going to fuck up because of what she did?

“I got through to him, I think. He’s currently at Lexa’s-” Octavia stopped abruptly.

Clarke tried not to flinch hearing Lexa’s name. One _thing_ at a time.

She sat there quietly for a minute, digesting the new information. She was surprised that Lincoln was the guy. As far as she knew, they hardly interacted when they ran into them, but she’s starting to suspect that was specifically designed as to not draw suspicion.

She owed it to Octavia to talk to him and clear things up. She owed her best friend that and much more, actually.

“Well, I didn’t expect that, but if you’re happy, I’m happy,” she said. She needed to get a head start on not being such a shitty friend anymore. They were in the middle of this mess because of her, the least she could do is not tease Octavia over her dating choices. (Into The Storm crew? Really?) “Um, how did you two start dating by the way?”

Octavia’s whole face lit up. “We ran into each getting coffee and started talking. Before we’d realized it, we’d sat there for hours. It was amazing. At first it was all about equipment and our new cameras and what not, and it went from there. Do you have any idea how hard it is to date guys that aren’t intimidated by my job?”

She did. Octavia always went on about it.

“Lincoln respects it,” Octavia say. “Admires it, even, since he does the same thing, but he knows our equipment is, well. You know,” Clarke nodded to keep her friend going. “And then we started meeting up once a week for lunch or coffee or dinner, and then he asked me out,” Octavia shrugged. “I said yes and we’ve been dating since then.”

“That’s...that’s great Octavia,” she said.

Octavia bit her lip. “See, I didn’t expect you to react like that. You freaked out about Raven and Anya. I figured you would about us, too.”

Clarke sighed, realizing she had more to apologize for than just recent events.

“I know now that I shouldn’t have reacted that way when it came to Raven. I was being petty and jealous,” she accepted. “I’ll talk to Lincoln if you want and make it clear you had nothing to do with it. I have a lot of apologizing to do.” Clarke took another pull of her beer.

“I’ll figure it out with Lincoln. It’s my relationship, I’ll fix it. But thanks, I’ll keep you on standby,” She took a deep breath. “So...what happened with Lexa today?”

Clarke sighed. She _had_ said she would tell her everything.

Before she could speak though, there was a knock at the door. Saved by the bell.

She got up and paid for the pizza. She thought about everything that had transpired during the past few days while she served it up on plates, and grabbed another beer for her and Octavia. She felt almost as though she was living in an alternate reality, so many things had happened because of a _single_ stupid decision -it made her head spin.

She went back to the couch, her arms loaded with food. They both dug in as neither had eaten all day.

After a few minutes, she wiped her mouth and started talking.

“About Lexa...She was pissed,” Clarke said. “Rightfully so, I know. You saw it. She...she could barely look at me.  I tried apologizing-”

“I had my eyes on the funnel, I didn’t see much of anything,” Octavia told her. “But you stole from her,” she reminded her. The more she heard it the worse Clarke felt, as though she was sinking deeper in the sand -if sand was crushing guilt.

“Yes. Or...borrowed?” she tried to reason. “I could’ve exchanged some footage with her once we got back on our feet.”

“You know there’s nothing we could offer that she would want, and either way...permission much?”

Clarke sighed.

“Sorry,” Octavia said, though she didn’t sound sorry at all. Fair enough.

“You’re right,” Clarke said. “I know you are. But I did try apologizing, though I should have tried to explain. I didn’t want to tell her about our show being on the verge of getting cancelled or Alie’s threat...I don’t even know why, pride maybe? It wasn’t the first thing out of my mouth and it should have been.  I just didn’t want it to sound like an excuse,” She dragged her hand down her face. “I know it doesn’t make sense.”

Clarke paused as she finished off her beer. She got up to get them both another one.

“What did she say?” Octavia looked at her with concern. “Apart from that.”

Clarke breathed in deeply. “Just that we should leave.”

“I’m aware of that much,” Octavia said, deadpan.

“And she also threatened to sue me and the station. She looked dead serious and I just...I can’t blame her. I betrayed her. But she wouldn’t even listen to me. Can she sue though? What would it mean for our segment? Can I go to prison for this?”

“Whoa, slow down. I don’t know, Clarke. Maybe? I can google it and see. I feel like they are in control now though, and we will be under their thumbs. We only have access to the storms they allow us right now. This could definitely affect the segment especially if they don’t let us film anything,” Octavia pulled out her phone. “Siri, is stealing intellectual property a felony?”

Clarke shook her head. She knew this could turn out worse than it already was. She was screwed if Lexa did follow through and she couldn’t fault her if she did. She _deserved_ whatever punishment that was deemed to fit her crime.

“I…I didn’t think…I was just so desperate to protect you and the job…I can’t believe I did it. I screwed up everything. I don’t know if I can come back from this, O. I’m sorry,” she added, almost without a voice. Her emotions were getting the best of her.

Octavia reached out and touched her shoulder.

“I can understand your reasoning, I can, but what you did hurt a lot of people, not to mention you might have actually committed a fucking crime. You may come back from this, I don’t know. I guess it depends on what you do from here. As for Lexa forgiving you, I wish I could say she will, same goes for Raven.”

Clarke looked up at her. “What about you?” She asked in a small voice.

“I…it’s going to take time. I…I just need some time. Can you understand that? You’re still my best friend. But just because you’ve told me everything, it doesn’t fix anything.”

She knew that, she knew it would take a lot more than an apology and the telling her the truth.

“I understand, I do and thank you,” Clarke told her. Octavia looked at her again. “For giving me a chance. It…it means a lot.”

“We’ll figure it out, one way or another.” Octavia put her arm around her and pulled her close.

Clarke put her head on her shoulder. She wanted to believe her, but knew it wasn’t that easy. It would be _almost_ impossible for her to fix everything.

But, she had to try.

-=-

It _hit_ her like a freight train.

After packing up and finally heading home, everything Lexa had tried to push down came flooding back, and the waves covered her. She dragged her feet up the steps to her apartment, foregoing the office as she needed a stiff drink. (And she’d stopped keeping hard liquor at the office a while ago.) But she had a bottle of nicely aged whiskey stashed in her kitchen for emergencies like this. The _first_ and only time she’d touched it was after Costia left.

This would be the second time and she didn’t want to start considering the significance of who it would be over. Clarke.

Lexa thought Clarke was different, she thought...she wouldn’t get hurt again. She’d kept things professional, even downright hostile, for as long she could. But Clarke wore her down. And really, Lexa had been told more times than she could count to try again and get out there. She’d tried, she can admit that’s what that _night_ at the bar was. It was her stepping out of her comfort zone and trusting someone again. And for what? To get used and manipulated. Who could blame her for being cautious all that time? She was right.  
  
She should have never let herself be fooled by a pretty face. It’s not like she was looking for a relationship with her, Lexa hardly knew her. But there was...potential. For a second. She did know that Clarke was stubborn, reckless, and bold, but it was more than that. Clarke had also seemed caring, and she’d proven to be smart and loyal.

There were so many different facets of her that she’d been looking forward to exploring. With Clarke, in those few hours at the bar...she didn’t have to think, to focus on acting right or saying the appropriate things. Lexa got to be just herself and that was rare. She was just able to connect with her. Clarke had the same drive she did, she shared her same passion. That was so rare to find. Of course it _was_ too good to be true.  
  
Costia had never understood nor had she bothered to try. She had just wanted all of Lexa’s focus, had hated having to share it with her job and anything else. Lexa ran herself ragged trying to please her. She should have known they were doomed from the start.

Lexa knew better than to repeat past mistakes, but had been so close to do so with Clarke. All because she _thought_ she was different.  
  
Lexa sighed, she was getting a headache just thinking about it all. Dredging up the past and comparing it to the present was never a good idea and she knew it. She got out a tumbler and poured herself two fingers of whiskey before throwing it back in one swift swallow. She loved the burn when it slid down her throat.

She sat down with the bottle and poured herself another glass, and then knocked it back. It was even better the second time around. Lexa relaxed back against the couch, letting the minutes pass her by. The slowly growing buzz inside her head was pleasant. She wasn’t thinking, wasn’t feeling. It was just white noise and it was nice.

In the middle of debating the merits of pouring herself yet another glass, Lexa looked up when someone knocked on her door.

Ignoring it, Lexa served herself another. Whoever was at the door kept knocking, with no signs of stopping.

She set her glass down on the counter, hard. She had to steady herself against it, from the strength of the taste or the effects of the booze, she wasn’t sure. She rarely drank. It could be affecting her pretty quickly. The knocking came again, much more insistent.

“Lexa, I know you’re in there. Open the damn door. I’d use my key, but my hands are full.”

Lexa wondered how the hell she was knocking then, but rolled her eyes before slowly making her way over to unlock the door. She swung it open to not see only Anya, but Raven and Lincoln as well.  
  
Anya balanced pizza boxes in one hand and a bag of something in another, while Lincoln had his arms full of beer. Raven brought up the rear, holding a couple bags of God knows what when it came to her.  
  
Lexa groaned as she was in no mood for this.

“What the hell is this? Go away! I’m not in the mood for company,” Lexa stalked back over to her bottle of whiskey and poured yet another glass. She failed to realize that there was already amber liquid inside the glass, and ended up with one overfilled tumblr.

Before she could get the glass to her lips, though, it was ripped out of her hands. Lexa sputtered and turned around, her vision lagging almost like she was in a video game. She watched in disbelief as Raven slammed it back and shuttered at the taste.  
  
She expected Anya, but _definitely_ not Raven.  
  
“Ugh, that’s nasty, how do you drink that?” Raven yanked out a beer, popping it open and taking a swig. “Ah, much better,” Raven smacked her lips.

Lexa stared at her for a moment, not having her usual comebacks at hand with her mind swimming in alcohol.

“Just...go away. Let me forget and just die in peace,” One of the many reasons she didn’t drink was she tended to get dramatic. She sat down on a barstool and put her head down on the counter moaning.  
  
“No can do,” Raven said. “So cheer up, buttercup. Let me reassure you, you’re stuck with us.”

“That is the opposite of reassuring,” She replied back rolling her eyes.

“Whatever you say, Commander, you love us. You can admit it, you know. We won't bite….unless you're into that,” Raven winked. “Anya is-”

“Stop.”

Lexa tried moving off the stool, but had barely moved before Raven had wrapped her arms around her. She pressed a big kiss on her cheek and Lexa groaned, trying and failing to get away.

She looked to Anya who was laughing hysterically. Lincoln had his arms crossed, and even he, usually so stoic, had a small, amused smile on his face.

“Get off! Why don't you go kiss your girlfriend instead!”

“Okay, but only because you asked so nicely,” She got off her and turned to her Anya before stalking towards her.

Lexa turned to watch, amused. She felt happy to see her best friend so happy. It was so easy to feel everything right now. She saw Anya turn, trying to run before Raven tackled her on the couch.  Unsurprisingly, Raven caught up to her. Even less surprising, they started to make out.

She grabbed the whiskey glass while they were occupied and Lincoln set the bags down in the kitchen. She pictured Clarke’s face when she served another, she couldn’t not do it. She took a healthy sip and saw blue, blue eyes...another sip, and she heard her raspy voice. Sip, her laugh. Sip, what the fuck was she going to do? What was her next move?

She finally put it down when she couldn't hold it anymore.

Anya came up suddenly behind her, wrapping her arms around her. Lexa breathed her in. It was a position born in the hallways of a group home, when an often too-stoic Anya and a Lexa who refused to cry had to find a suitable way to comfort each other without losing their pride.

Once Lexa was released, Anya pulled her towards the living room. She deposited Lexa on the sofa before handing her a glass of water and plate of pizza. Lexa rolled her eyes, but accepted it without complaint, knowing she needed it. She was going to have a worse hangover than the other night with-

Lexa shook her head trying to dispel the thoughts.

The rest of them grabbed their beers and pizza before settling down around her. She eyed them all, knowing exactly why they were there, but it still warmed her that they’d gone to the trouble of bringing food and letting her settle before bringing the issue at hand up.

In that moment, she was _grateful_ she had not just Anya, but Raven and Lincoln as well. Her team.

Anya decided to speak up.  “I'm on your side, Lex. Always,” Lexa saw her shoot a look at her girlfriend in apology. “You’re my best friend. You say the word and I’ll follow suit.

I'll beat her up,” She smiled mischievously making Lexa shake her head. She was probably serious, too.

“Thanks for the offer An, but that won't be necessary,” She chuckled despite herself. “I love the enthusiasm though.”

Raven piped up next. “First of all, not funny, babe. Second, you already know how I feel, so just please think about it before coming to a conclusion. That's all I ask.” Raven squeezed her girlfriend's hand in support. Lexa had to look away.  

“Linc, you're being awfully quiet over there.  Everything okay?” Raven asked throwing a pillow at him which he caught easily.

He smiled before launching the pillow back at Raven who had luckily put down her beer. The pillow smacked her in the face making her sputter.

Lexa watched in disbelief as their two beers were put down in favor of the most childish all out pillow fight she’d ever witnessed between two people, let alone members of her team. She laughed. She couldn’t not do it.

Lincoln yielded under the threat of tickling from Raven’s sharp, small little fingers.

“So... now that you are sufficiently cheered up. And sober,” Anya said. “I think there’s something all of us need to talk about. As a team.”

“Octavia wasn't in on it,” Lincoln piped up right away. “She didn't even know what Clarke was planning it until after she’d put it on air.”

“She wasn't planning it,” Raven told him.”

“How do you know that?” Anya asked her gently.

Raven shrugged.

“She sounded desperate,” Raven said.

Lexa had been silent until then, but she couldn't keep quiet any longer.

“Does it matter?” she asked her team. “Do the reasons matter when she stole from us? These are the facts, she broke into our van-”

“I might have left the door open,” Raven mentioned. Lexa ignored her.

“And she stole some of the footage we recorded for that day. Who knows how long she’d been planning to do that? And for what? To pass it off as her own. Leave our coverage for it in the dust?”

“What do you want to do?”

Lexa was at a loss. She didn’t know.

Despite herself and how angry she was, she couldn't pick up the phone and call the police. Despite what she’d said, she didn’t know if she had it in her to put the other woman in prison.

“We should decide that, all of us. As a team.”

“You’re the leader of this team, Lexa,” Lincoln said,

Lexa looked at him.

“If Clarke goes down she takes Octavia with her, doesn’t she?”

Lincoln shrugged, but she could see in his eyes it was a fear he had. It was just so complicated.

And she didn’t _know_ what to do.

-=-

Lexa woke up to an alert on her phone.

Her head was pounding.

She glanced around, noticing her team were all passed out around her. They had started a movie marathon and must have all gone to sleep in their various positions. She saw Lincoln in the recliner and the couple passed out cuddled up on the floor. She smiled briefly before checking the alert.

She sprang up and shook everyone awake. She heard grumbling and moaning, but they were all slowly getting up.

“Be ready in fifteen minutes. There’s another storm rolling in. Should be hitting in the next couple hours,” she informed them. “I want to try and get ahead of this one. Let’s go, now!” She watched them all scramble around getting ready as she went to her own room to change clothes and splash some water on her face.

They left as planned, this time heading the opposite way than before. Lexa couldn’t help but wonder if the blonde would have the gumption to show up again. She figured Clarke would as she was _almost_ as stubborn as she was. And it was a problem, because Lexa still hadn’t decided what to do.

It was as if Anya had been reading her mind when she spoke up. “Focus, Lex. We don’t need any distractions, especially from Griffin. We can figure out what to do later, but right now, we all _need_ you on top of your game.”

Lexa knew she was right. Distractions out here could get them killed. She settled in her seat trying to clear her mind. It wasn’t easy as Clarke’s damn face kept popping into her head. Why couldn’t she just get out of her head? It was like Clarke was branded in her mind, probably since the first time she saw her. She hadn’t backed down and Lexa couldn’t help the respect she had for her from that moment on. Nobody _ever_ did that to her, it was bound to stick out in her mind.

“I won’t, Anya. My only priority right now is this storm,”  Lexa said with as much conviction as possible. “It’s supposed to be massive”

She looked at Raven who was steadily avoiding her gaze and she felt a twinge of guilt. She could admit she was concerned for Raven as it had to be hard to be caught in the middle between your best friend and your girlfriend and new team. She did sympathize with her and did respect her for trying to stay neutral even though it was next to impossible.

“Good. We tweaked Raven’s design so that it hopefully won’t get crushed with the wind speed, like it has before,” She nudged Raven, making her smile.

“That’s good,” she said, feeling the last of the stress fade as adrenaline took its place.  A big part of her research was dedicated to predicting tornadoes sooner and more accurately in time to give people more warning. If Raven’s baby -she rolled her eyes- worked, they would have invaluable data. Lexa was giddy just thinking about it.

The next hour passed mostly silent, all of them lost in their own worlds. Lexa stared out at sky watching the clouds as the system moved in.

All of the sudden, Anya cursed and Raven was wide eyed looking at something in front of them. Lexa looked up at what they were gawking at and fury boiled inside her at the familiar truck. She knew there was a _chance_ they would show, but actually seeing Clarke here? It made her erupt.

She slammed the door as she got out.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here? I thought I made myself clear.”

She felt her team get out as well, but could feel them staying back, letting her handle it. She needed to remember she was their leader and had to actually be one.

Lexa watched Octavia take a careful step forward before glancing behind her at her team. She thought she caught a flicker of longing in her gaze, before turning her attention back to Clarke.

She watched Clarke gulp and saw a kaleidoscope of feelings shining in her blue eyes. Remorse, guilt, defiance. She couldn’t pin her down.

“Please, just hear me out and I’ll leave if you still want me too. I should have told you everything from the beginning when we were getting closer, but I didn’t because I was terrified. And full of pride. I didn’t want your pity or reassurances or god forbid for you to look at me differently, which... doesn’t matter now. You deserve the whole truth. I don’t expect your forgiveness, I’m not naive to think I’ve earned that, but maybe you’ll at least understand,” Clarke hesitated before nodding for Octavia to give them space.

Lexa debated her options, she could listen to her say her piece, and be done with her once and for all or she could not listen and continue to try and ignore the constant questions she’s had since she first found out that Clarke stole her footage. She decided to go with the first alternative even though she knew she would hear about it later from Anya.

“You have two minutes. I don’t have time for any more of your lies,” Lexa sneered crossing her arms in front of her. “Start talking.”

Clarke seemed to panic and stuttered over her words that she was rushing to get out. Before, Lexa might have reassured her, but now she just scoffed. She’d seldom felt this heated, this prone to...blowing up. If Clarke was hurt by it, she didn’t let it show. But the shaking of her hands gave away her nerves.

“I’m on the verge of losing my job,” Clarke told her. “I was, at least. If the ratings didn’t hold steady I’d be back as a weather girl, and who knows where our bosses would leave Octavia. I hadn’t gotten anything that week. You were there! You saw what happened with my truck!”

Lexa felt a twinge of guilt. But it was different, completely different. She was _trying_ to save Clarke’s life. Clarke had saved no one, but herself.

“I just needed something-”

“That doesn't give you the right to take it from me!” Lexa cut her off.

“Please just hear me out. Please!”

“Fine,” She motioned with her hand.

Clarke took a deep breath before continuing while Lexa continued to stand there not giving away any emotion at the words spilling from Clarke’s mouth.

“I know I went about this all wrong and for that I’m sorry. You deserved so much better than that. I was only thinking of myself and my team. I didn’t think and that is no excuse for what I did, but I at least wanted you to know the whole truth,” Tears were gathering in her eyes, making Lexa look away. She was a sucker when it came to tears. She couldn’t stand to see a woman cry, even if she was a thief and a liar.

It was _still_ Clarke.

Lexa took a deep breath. “That doesn’t excuse what you did. You know that.” Lexa took a few steps, looking around them. How could she know Clarke was even being honest? And even if she was, what gave her the right to steal? She could have asked for help, she could have done a million other things.

It changed nothing.

“You need to leave,” she told Clarke. She could see the storm in the distance, and she wasn’t about to be side by side with Clarke when it hit. The woman didn’t deserve that.

“Lexa, if I don’t get _something-_ ”

“I don’t care.”

She watched Clarke stumble back a step.

She’d seldom felt so cold.

Clarke threw one last look of pure agony at her before turning around and running to her truck.

Lexa swiped a hand over her face.

She didn’t have time to ponder everything because she heard her team yelling for her. It sounded like panic.

Whipping around, what Lexa saw made her stomach drop. A funnel had been forming rapidly and it was getting bigger than she had predicted. It rarely happened. Lexa calculated it to be at least a F3 maybe F4 and she’d known the intensity of this storm, but this was...Had she not been so distracted, they most certainly wouldn’t be as close as they were now.

She saw her team waving her over so they could all leave together, but she shook her head. They were too far away to get to in time. She shouted for them to leave quickly before running towards Clarke’s truck. She saw Lincoln physically restraining Anya while Raven did the same with Octavia before pulling them back to the vehicles. She turned and watched as they sped off down the road before jumping into Clarke’s truck.  
  
“Clarke! Clarke!” She shook her shoulder until she finally made eye contact. She seemed frozen at the wheel, staring at the tornado in fear. “Start the truck now! We need to leave,” Lexa looked again, feeling the truck start up. She grabbed Clarke’s hand held camera and started filming it as they sped off as fast as they could.

It wasn’t _fast_ enough.  
  
Clarke was going as fast as she could in the beat up truck from the channel, but they needed to find someplace safe before it was too late. Lexa desperately scanned the surroundings, vaguely remembering being out here for one of her first storms.  
  
She remembered a bunker a local told her about, the repurposed basement of his house. The old man had joked about her using it whenever she needed it. She hoped it was there, and that promise held true even now.  

Clarke weaved in and out of flying debris trying to stay on the road. They had lost sight of their friends, making her heart sink. She just had to hope they were okay. She couldn’t bear to think of the alternative.  
  
“Clarke, turn left, I know a place we can go.” Clarke whipped the truck hard heading in the direction she was told. The house was about a mile away. “We’re almost there. It’s right up there.”

Clarke nodded, her eyes still terrified, but amazed.

It _happened_ in a second.

At first she could see the white house in the distance, the only building within miles, and then they were turning, the truck flipping on its side as it skidded down the road.

The pain was blinding.

It took her breath away, and for a solid second Lexa couldn’t recognize where she was or what was going on. And then she felt Clarke’s hands.

“Lexa, can you move? Are you okay?” Clarke asked, tugging on her seatbelt.  Lexa undid it and fell, hard on her back, but she still couldn’t get out. She turned toward Clarke. Apart from a cut in her forehead, she didn’t look any worse for the wear that she could see. They were okay. But for how long?

“I can’t get my leg out,” she said. “It’s stuck,” She looked to see where the tornado was and her terror must have shown in her eyes because Clarke looked back and cursed.

She tried to pull, and a scream was ripped from her throat as a red hot pain sliced through her leg. She wasn’t going anywhere.

“Leave, Clarke, now,” she said. She’d known this moment was coming, she always had. There was no reason both of them should lose their lives. “You need to go!” Lexa yelled over the sound of the wind. She pushed Clarke’s hands away, but the woman shook her head.  
  
“I’m not leaving you!” Clarke said. “Not a chance in hell,” Clarke looked around the car, but there was nothing she could even think of to use. It almost felt like a different world with the car on its side.  “Listen-”

She was going to die here. What was the last thing she’d said to Gustus? To Anya? This was it. She couldn’t believe this was it.

Suddenly, there was a warm hand on her cheek, turning her face.

“Lexa, I’m going to push that up with my shoulder okay?” Clarke said, slapping her hand on the crushed dashboard of the car, currently trapping her leg. “I’m gonna try as hard as I can, and you need to pull your leg out if it gives, okay?”

She nodded.

Clarke looked back to where the tornado was coming. The look in her eyes made tears spring in Lexas’ own. She was scared. She was terrified of dying.

“Okay, okay. We can do this,” Clarke kneeled against the dashboard, settling her shoulder underneath a corner. “Okay. One, two, three!”

Their screams filled the wrecked car.

Clarke’s efforts moved the metal and plastic, and pain reverberated through Lexa’s leg, so intense she wanted to throw up. But she could move. She tugged on her leg and it was finally free of the car.

Clarke gasped for air, her forehead against the floor.

“Okay, we gotta go,” Clarke said. She helped her get out of the car, but a single look at where the house was had Lexa believing they wouldn’t make it all over again. It was too far away.

“Can you stand up?” Clarke asked.

Lexa tried.

Clarke looked down and grimaced. Lexa did the same. There was a very deep laceration in her calf, the indentation of the dashboard there for the world to see. She was bleeding, a lot, but they didn’t have time to worry about that right now.

“I’m sorry, but you have to,” Clarke said. And before she knew it her arm was around Clarke’s shoulders and the woman was supporting most of her weight as they ran towards the house, a beacon of _hope_ in the grey swirling storm they found themselves in.

They were still in the path of the tornado, and it was only approaching faster.

Lexa moaned with every heart-wrenching step, faltering at times, but with Clarke’s help before she knew it they were at the house. It was deserted.

“Where?” Clarke asked. “The tornado is too strong, it’s gonna blow it off.”

“There’s a- there’s a bunker,” Lexa gasped out. “The basement.”

Clarke nodded and helped her up again. They ducked against a flying piece of metal, sharp enough to slice flesh and bone.

“There!” Clarke exclaimed, pointing towards the white metal double doors on the ground at the side of the house. They ran.

“There’s a lock on the-”

Lexa picked up a crowbar from the side of the property. She swung it once, hard, the force of it almost knocking her down with the state she was in. But it did its job. The old lock broke.

“Let’s get inside,” Clarke told her, walking down the few steps before turning back and helping Lexa step in.

It was dark inside, and not very deep. Lexa _could_ only hope it would hold.

“Sit down,” Clarke told her. “Let me put something against the doors.

Lexa saw her put a piece of metal through the handles of the doors.

“I have my cell phone,” Clarke said then, and the place was flooded with light.“This isn’t deep enough,” Clarke told her.

“I know,” she said. They’d made it this far, but if the house collapsed- when it collapsed, they’d be right there. If the tornado took everything it would take them, too.

“Hang on!” Clarke said. “There’s something-”

Lexa looked towards the back, towards the place Clarke had run to.

“There’s a door on the floor!” Clarke yelled. “It’s a crawl space.”

Lexa got up with effort and hobbled to her.

“There’s not enough room for-”

“No, there’s not. So get in.”

“What? Clarke-”

“Get in, right now. It’s getting closer,” Clarke insisted, forcing her to kneel. “Come on.”

It was pointless to _fight_ in the state she was in. But before she could fully step inside she heard a terrifying crack. The sound of nature turning on man.

She felt Clarke’s hand in her _own_ before the world went black.


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

She came to with a throbbing head, covered in debris and pain.

It took her a _moment_ to gather her bearings and when she did, her first thought was Lexa. Where was she? Was she okay? She frantically looked around before realizing her hand was wrapped tightly in someone else’s.

Clarke looked down and breathed a sigh of relief that she was still here, still safe. She was half in the crawl space, her head pillowed on her arms, face down. She remembered pushing her there before all hell broke loose.

She felt for a pulse and a strong, steady one beat against her fingertips.

Gingerly pushing herself off the floor, Clarke checked herself for any serious injuries. She sat up, taking notice of herself and where it hurt. It felt like she’d hurt her ribs, but there was no pinching pain. Probably just bruises, thank God. Her fingers came away bloody from her forehead, but she wasn’t nauseous, and wasn’t dizzy. No other symptoms of a concussion. She’d be fine, apart from some massive bruises later. She could handle bruised ribs, it _wouldn’t_ be the first time.

Clarke looked around. The bunker had held up as well as could be expected for such a shallow place. Part of the roof had collapsed on one side, and she was sure above them the house had disappeared -she didn’t know how it could have stood with the strength of that tornado.

She turned toward Lexa. She was well enough that trying to help the other woman wouldn’t injure her further, if she was.

“Lexa?” She touched her arm, her fingertips brushing the skin and creating trails of white in the soot covered flesh. She was all grey. Clarke bet she was as well. “Wake up, sleeping beauty.”

Lexa groaned.

Clarke slapped her cheek gently, trying to bring her back around.

“There you go. Hey, you need to wake up.”

She touched her shoulder and gently shook her awake. Lexa startled, panic etched on her face. She gripped Clarke’s hand tighter. She looked around before finally settling on Clarke’s face.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe.” Clarke said cautiously squeezing her shoulder. “It passed, I think,” she said. “The basement held up.”

Lexa nodded and tried to sit up.

Clarke immediately went to help. She got her sitting up, and they both crawled a few inches so they could lean against the wall. Lexa dragged one of her legs, and Clarke took notice of it.  She looked around again and with the state things were in, determined that the tornado’s center must have barely missed them, which was a blessing. The whole thing _might_ have collapsed if that wasn’t the case.

Clarke looked for the door, but knew it was futile. Everything was a wreck. She looked to where she assumed the doors to the house would have been and didn't see them anymore. Lexa’s head lolled back against the wall. Clarke took a good look at her, making sure she wasn’t bleeding too much or had any other injuries putting her in imminent danger. And then she got up.

Her head swam with pain, her very bones complaining under her weight, but she pushed through. She knew she needed help, and Lexa probably did more than her.

She walked to the double doors they had come in through, hoping against hope that the house hadn’t fallen on top, but she knew the truth before she felt it.

Pushing the doors up was futile. They were too heavy, buried beneath slabs of concrete and debris, Clarke assumed.

They were _trapped_.

And it started to dawn on Clarke that nobody knew where they were.

Did Lexa’s crew know about this place, too? Would they know to look here? Were they okay? She knew then nobody was coming to rescue them, at least not in the near future.

They were all alone.

Clarke looked back at Lexa whose face was scrunched up in pain. She almost smacked herself when she remembered the cut on her leg that was still bleeding sluggishly.

“I need to look at your leg. Can I do that please?” Clarke asked.

"Yeah…yes…” Lexa bit her lip so hard it turned white.

“How does it feel?”

“Hurts,” Lexa deadpanned.

Clarke smiled despite herself. She got to work and started to pull up her pant leg, but Lexa cried out. “I need something to cut your pants with. Do you see anything we could use?”  
  
Lexa pulled open her jacket and what Clarke saw, threw her for a loop. The woman had a small arsenal hidden away. Lexa pulled out a pocket knife and handed it to her. She also pulled out a pocket first aid kit from her belt, and a tiny flashlight.

And here all Clarke carried around was gum and her keys.

“I wish I could say I’m surprised that you’re prepared like this,” Clarke cut the fabric from above her knee. If she kept her talking she kept her distracted enough not to noticed the pain -she hoped. “I’m impressed.”

“Yeah, I- I have an emergency kit in the car, but just in case I carry one around with me. Got trapped alone in Texas once, not a thing on me, but my clothes. Never again. I've carried the essentials with me since then.” Lexa gave her a small smirk, her face still showing signs of pain. “Comes in handy in situations like this one.”

Clarke nodded, and then flinched when she saw the wound.

She cursed internally; it wasn’t looking good at all. It was about six inches long and it looked deep. Clarke didn’t even know what had done it. A piece of the dashboard, probably, when it crushed her leg. Broken plastic would explain the jagged edges. She knew Lexa would need stitches at least, but her main concern right now was to clean it and stop the bleeding. She cut off Lexa's pant leg to apply pressure on it, but first...Clarke opened the first aid kit, and was glad to find a small bottle of alcohol.

Lexa had seen it too. Clarke grimaced.

“You’re good at this,” Lexa commented.

“My mom is a doctor,” she said, laying Lexa’s leg flat on the ground and opening the bottle of alcohol. Lexa nodded. “I used to follow her around all the time,” she said. “I wanted to learn everything I could just in case someone ever _needed_ my help.”

She held Lexa’s leg down tightly with one hand while the other hand gripped the bottle.

“You mentioned she didn’t- she didn’t- ah!” Lexa yelped in pain as she poured alcohol directly onto her cut to sterilize it.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke hated hurting her more, but needed to make sure her wound didn’t get infected. She had no idea how long they’d be trapped here.

“You said-” Lexa was breathless. “That she didn’t like what you did.”

Clarke pressed the cloth hard against the wound. Lexa bit her lips so hard they turned white, but she didn’t make a sound.

“It’s over,” she said, keeping the pressure on Lexa’s leg. “And she still doesn’t. Wanted me to be a doctor like her. Or a professor. Or any ‘real job’. Obviously I took a different path.”

“I’m sorry, that must be hard,” Lexa said. “What about your dad? Would he have supported you?”  

Clarke sucked in a deep breath at the mention of her dad. She knew he would support her if he was still alive. He was always encouraging her to go after her dreams. But he wasn’t here anymore, hadn’t been for a long while.

“He…umm...would...yes,” Even though it had been over ten years, it still hurt like it was yesterday, right between her ribs. 

“That's something, I don't think I said it before, but I am sorry,” Clarke could hear the sincerity in her tone. Even if less than an hour ago the woman had been threatening to make her lose her job. Lexa was a good person.

Her dad would have liked her, and her team. Her dad would have been so disappointed in what she did.

She wanted to wipe her eyes, but both her hands were currently occupied with Lexa’s wound. It felt incredibly vulnerable, like her tears along with her weakness was out in the open for the world to see. Or just Lexa.  

Clarke never talked about him anymore, not with anyone.

Feeling cold fingers wrapping around her own, Clarke jumped at the contact. Lexa squeezed her hand tightly, once. Lexa didn’t offer any other condolences. Clarke nodded.

She pulled the cloth away from her wound and saw the bleeding had stopped. She grabbed a small roll of gauze from the first aid kit, and began wrapping it against Lexa’s wound, keeping some pressure on it and protecting it from infection. They’d need to get to a hospital-

No, Lexa needed to go to the hospital and get her leg looked at. Clarke would go home. They’d go their separate ways and Lexa would be back to hating her guts for what she did, whatever happened in this pocket of time away from everyone else would be forgotten.

She looked up and was met with those gorgeous green eyes still clouded in pain, but also held warmth and understanding in that green gaze. Their eyes locked for a moment before Clarke decided to break it.

Clarke desperately wanted to change to the subject. She felt like she’d already gone through an emotional roller coaster today, and that was without mentioning her dad. She knew all about adrenaline, and her body was still in shock after everything they’d been through. It was easy to forget where they were just an hour ago. Easy to forget that just because they were trapped together, didn’t mean she was forgiven.

“Is there anywhere else that hurts?” Clarke asked, avoiding her eyes. If Lexa noticed the abrupt subject change, she didn’t say anything.

“No, that was the worst one. I got lucky,” she said. “Thank you, Clarke.” Lexa nodded, once, and Clarke accepted the gratitude for what it was. Just that, in this isolated moment, in this extraneous circumstance. “What about you?” Lexa asked.

Clarke took a once of herself to make sure.

“Okay, good.” She sat back against the wall, next to Lexa. “My head is killing me, but that’s about it.”

“You’re bleeding,” Lexa mentioned, turning towards her. “Here, let me take a look,” Clarke nodded, scooting closer to her. It was definitely closer than she ever thought they’d be again after what she did. Even in the dark and framed by soot, Lexa’s eyes still shone, green and beautiful.

Lexa took the bottle of alcohol and poured some on a gauze before pressing it on her cut.

Clarke let out a hiss of pain.

“Sorry,” Lexa whispered. They were so closed her breath bounced off Clarke’s lips. It was too much.

“And here I was thinking you’d enjoy this,” she said, pulling back, breaking the gentleness that had settled in the enclosed space. “I mean, considering everything I did.”

They locked eyes. Lexa _looked_ away first.

“We should look for supplies,” Lexa told her.

“You’re right,” Clarke replied looking around the bunker again. She needed some distance for a moment, too. “I’m going to go look over there…” She pointed. “See if I can find anything useful.”

Lexa looked over warily. “Okay, be careful though. Try not to touch anything, we don’t know how solid this place is. The house could end up collapsing-”

“I know,” Clarke interrupted. Lexa nodded.

“Here, take this.” She handed her the flashlight. Clarke sighed, but knew Lexa made a valid point.

“Okay. I just need to see if they have provisions stocked somewhere.” Clarke assumed they did as this basement was for emergencies. She just hoped it wasn’t buried under all the debris or under the collapsed part of the bunker.

She made her way over, treading carefully. She shined the flashlight around and saw scaffolding, support beams, pieces of drywall scattered around.  A picture of an older couple laid on the ground, the glass cracked down the middle. She wondered if they were the owners of the house.

Clarke scanned around again looking for anything useful.

She hit the jackpot when the flashlight’s beam landed on a blanket and pillows. That would help them be more comfortable at least. That was a good start. She continued looking around before noticing a big box. She pulled it out slowly from underneath some metal and luckily nothing shifted. She opened it and could have wept for joy at what she found.

Canned food and water. 

She was so engrossed in her discovery; she hadn’t noticed Lexa, who had hobbled up behind her.

When she turned around to tell Lexa, she startled not realizing Lexa was right there.  She dropped the flashlight, but Lexa was able to catch it though with her quick reflexes.

“Sorry, just thought I could help.” Lexa shrugged her shoulders.

“You shouldn’t be putting pressure on that leg,” she chastised. “Sit down, I got this,” She helped her back the few steps, supporting most of her weight. So that _was_ all muscle. She helped Lexa get situated as comfortably as she could considering.

“Stay here for a moment, can you do that?” Clarke asked. Lexa rolled her eyes. Even injured the woman was something else.  “I found some water and some other stuff.”   

Clarke went back and gathered everything she’d come across. She laid it out in front of them both.  She pulled out a couple bottles of water, and handed one to Lexa before taking a long sip of hers. She saw Lexa doing the same from the corner of her eye.

“You good?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded.

“For how wet we are you’d think I wouldn’t appreciate more water,” Lexa said off handedly. It reminded Clarke of what she’d been able to ignore so far, the sorry state of her clothes. The chill hadn’t begun to seep in yet.

“Are the doors-”

“Both shut,” Clarke answered before Lexa finished asking the question. “It’s too heavy. Half the house could be on top.”

“So we’re trapped,” Lexa said.

Clarke took another drink of water. “You said it,” She sighed. “Can you hand me your cell phone, I don’t know where mine ended up,” she told Lexa. “I’m going to see if I can get reception.”

Lexa did as she asked.

Clarke _stood_ up and left her alone.

 -=-

 Lexa was lost in thought.

 Thinking about Clarke and everything that had happened between them was a welcome distraction from thinking about her leg and how much it hurt, so that was what she did.

 She was still so angry, felt so betrayed, but she could feel a little bit of it ebbing away with Clarke’s actions. She was thankful. And it was so confusing to be both. Clarke had saved her from the truck, at great _risk_ to herself.  She’d helped her make it here, and then given her the crawlspace knowing what could have happened. And to top it all off, Clarke had been taking care of her as well.  

It was hard connecting this person, this selfless, generous person, to the woman who had also stolen from her.  She was seeing again the Clarke she had started getting to know at the bar. She’d really liked that Clarke. She didn’t _know_ how to feel now.

Rage still boiled in the pit of her stomach, but glancing over at Clarke didn't make it burn hotter. It seemed to simmer instead. But maybe their ordeal had just tired her out. Her head told her one thing while her heart said the complete opposite. She wanted Clarke to be a monster, so she could hate her, punish her for her actions, call the cops on her and not even flinch. But all the parts inside her that she’d walled off for years wanted to listen to Raven, wanted to believe that Clarke was a good person who’d done a bad thing, instead of being a terrible person all together.

She didn't want to _dwell_ on her thoughts anymore.

Luckily or unluckily, depending on how she looked at, Clarke was heading back over. When their eyes met, Clarke shook her head.

“No service,” she said, laying down and handing the cell phone over. “Not surprising though. The power lines could be down or we could be too deep to get a signal.”

“Maybe once the storm passes completely we can try again,” Lexa tried to muster up as much hope as she could. “We'll figure it out.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Hearing her tone, she turned to Clarke, only to find her looking back at her with an expression she couldn't decipher. Maybe it was fear, but she’d never seen it in the other woman before too closely.

She settled back against the wall.

They had reason to be afraid. They were both wet and the air was getting colder, her leg was throbbing, they were trapped beneath a collapsed building (and who knew how long it would be able to hold) and she wasn’t sure if anyone was looking.

Raven knew about the place, Lexa could only hope they’d come as soon as the storm let them.

Until then, all that was left to do was wait.

Lexa thought they might as well pass the time talking.

She was really curious about what Clarke had said earlier about her dad. At the time, she was sure Clarke spoke just to keep her distracted while she patched her leg up, but it was still a side she hadn’t seen from the other woman. Lexa realized there was a lot she didn’t know about Clarke Griffin.

“How old were you when your dad died?” Lexa asked hesitantly. It had seemed like a touchy subject, and she could understand why.

“Fifteen,” Clarke replied, looking at the ceiling. “I was just about to start my sophomore year.” Lexa noticed her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides.

Lexa pressed her lips together.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. At that age Lexa herself was just settling in with Gustus, just beginning to find her father. And Clarke was losing hers.

“It’s okay,” Clarke said. She shrugged. “He was a fantastic dad. I used to think maybe that’s why it happened, you know? Like, he was so much better than other dads that I only got to keep him a little while, so it would be fair to other kids,” Clarke laughed, but it sounded thick, like tears were what was really fighting to get out. “I’m an only child, my mom always said I was the apple of his eye,” She choked up a little. “He was my best friend.”

Lexa felt her own eyes sting at Clarke’s words.

“He… he passed away on a night like this actually.”

That _gave_ her pause.

“If you don’t mi-”

“It was a tornado that took his life.”

The words rang out in the enclosed space, their echo bouncing off the cement walls. Lexa didn’t understand. She’d met people who’d lost loved ones in tornadoes, in hurricanes, it came with the job. But she’d never _expected_ Clarke to be one of them. How could she do what she did?

Questions spun around in her head, but before she could ask any (and she wasn’t sure if she even could) Clarke kept talking.

“We, uh...we were out on my grandparents farm when a tornado came through. We didn’t have enough warning. My dad, he...he ushered us all into the storm cellar as quickly as he could. I remember he just kept telling my mom, ‘stay with Clarke, hold onto Clarke’. The wind was so strong,” Clarke’s eyes had been stuck on the ground, and she’d looked very far away, but now she turned to look at Lexa. “I’d never seen anything like that. I remember when were running to the backyard, the wind made my hair whip my face, and it felt like it was going to lift me up.”

There’s awe in her voice, underneath the grief and sorrow, Lexa can make it out. She’s felt it, too. Every single day in the job. Nature can be so terribly beautiful. So powerful and ruthless.

“My dad told my mom to stay down there with me while he tried to close the door, but the wind was too strong to do it from the inside. So he had stepped out,” Clarke shrugged, but the gesture was everything, but careless. Her gaze was back on the floor. “I remember screaming, begging him to get back inside. He pushed one of the doors closed. And then when he was coming back inside to shut the other...he was...just gone.”

Lexa didn’t have words for the silence that followed.

But Clarke wasn’t finished.

“It was like...it was almost like he was sucked out, like in a movie when someone blows a hole in a plane, and people just…” Clarke waved her hand. Lexa knew what she means. Explosive decompression. It seldom happens like in movies, but that’s what it was called. And she knew tornadoes hold the same, if not more strength than that phenomena.

She can’t imagine seeing it happen so close.

On her first year at National Geographic, she saw a few cows getting dragged away and eventually lifted by a tornado, and the sight stayed with her for days. She can’t imagine it happening to a person right before her eyes. She can’t imagine losing a father like that.

“I'm- Why-... _Clarke,_ ” She didn’t have words. There was a knot in her throat, and her hands itched to do something, but she didn’t know what. Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

Clarke answered her unspoken question. “You want to know why I became a storm chaser after that?”

Lexa nodded.

It didn’t make _sense_ to her.

“The last few hours we spent together...I could hear the storm raging outside. It sounded like the sky was coming down. And I remember how scared I was, but I know I would have been even more terrified if he hadn’t had his arms around me. And after he...after he died, storms like that didn’t scare me anymore. Maybe it doesn’t make much sense, but I began to feel closer to him when the sky was dark and thunder was falling. I know it’s how I lost him, but it’s also what it felt like the last day we were together. As a teenager, I chased that feeling,” Clarke’s eyes cleared as she came back to the present. She shrugged. “One thing led to another and here I am.”

Lexa wished she could look into those blue eyes, but settled for her profile. The light of her flashlight and cellphone dimly illuminated the space, and shadows played in her face. Clarke’s eye looked almost black in the dark. Her nose sloped downwards elegantly and a scratch was visible in her full cheek. Lexa wondered how much Clarke took after her father. How much this man she had lost so young had shaped who she was as a person? And what kind of person that was?

“It doesn't have to make any sense to anyone, but you,” she told Clarke gently. “That's all that matters.”

Clarke turned her head. Lexa could see surprise shining in her eyes. She nodded.

And then they both looked away.

“So, um, what about you?” Clarke asked, clearing her throat. “Your parents?”

Lexa smiled instantly at the thought of Gustus. “You already know this, but not the whole story,” she said. It was common knowledge to everyone who watched her show or bothered to look her up on Wikipedia. “I grew up in foster care before I was adopted by my dad, Gustus,” she told Clarke. “I’m an only child too, technically, but Anya’s basically his kid too, so.” She shrugged, smiling. The pain in her leg was a distant memory. “He says I'm his favorite, though.”

Clarke smiled as well.

It seemed to light up the bunker better than her flashlight ever did.

“It sounds like you were lucky,” Clarke said. “Is it...Um, do you know what happened to your birth parents?”

Lexa expected the question. It was one she was always asked, came with the territory of being an adoptive child

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I don't remember them and I never really bothered to find out. I never saw the point in that. They’re not really...they’re strangers to me. Biology means nothing,” She shrugged. She’d never talked about it much with anyone but Anya, curiosity would always be there, but she didn’t feel the need to go asking questions that she might never get answers to, or that she might not like to hear. “Gustus is my father. He gave me the family I was missing, he supported everything I did, my love for storms...if he hadn’t adopted me, I don’t know where I would be. The odds are stacked against kids who age out of the system.”

She saw Clarke nod at the corner of her eye, her attention intent on her.

Lexa felt watched, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. And she didn’t want it to stop.

“How old were you?” Clarke asked.

“13.”

“And you’ve been into-” Clarke signaled around them, “this, since then?” She asked with an amused smile.

Lexa nodded.

“Since way before that, actually. I've been fascinated since I was little,” She could scarcely remember a time where she hadn’t loved looking at the sky. “It was…an escape. I wanted to know absolutely everything about storms. I read every book I could on the subject. I grew up, but I never grew out of it.”

Their eyes _connected_ and they shared a look of understanding.

“So you always wanted to be a storm chaser?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know if a...storm chaser, specifically…” She wasn’t a big fan of the term, even after years. It sounded slightly amateur, when what she did was nothing of the sort. “But I always knew I wanted to work with storms, nature, the sky. I thought about being a meteorologist, but this was so much better.”

“Hear, hear,” Clarke said.

“What about you?” Lexa asked. “Did you always want to-”

“No, not me,” Clarke said. “Storms used to scare me when I was a kid. I...I wanted to become a doctor, like my mom,” she explained.

Lexa nodded. After seeing the tender way Clarke had taken care of her, she could see her as a doctor. She was so different from the person she first met in the field.

Clarke shrugged. “But plans change, I suppose. Dreams don’t come true. So I picked this when it was time for college. It seemed like the only job that made sense to me at the time,” Clarke let out a harsh laugh. "After that, my mom and me..." Clarke shook her head. "Doesn't matter."

Lexa wasn’t surprised she didn’t have a good relationship with her mom, she had picked up on that before. But she was surprised about the seeming darkness that lurked beneath the surface of the other woman. She’d never heard her so defeated.

“I wouldn’t say dreams don’t come true,” Lexa told her. “I know for a fact they do. I think dreams just...change, as we grow,” She didn’t want to sound patronizing, but she was glad to see Clarke smiled, not taking it that way. “You should try talking to your mom when we get out of here,” Lexa said. She didn’t want to overstep, but she couldn’t help herself. “I know it’s not my place, but...you still have one parent. Even if you don’t see eye to eye, she’s still your mom. She’ll be worried about you. This could give you a chance to talk.”  
  
Lexa thought Clarke would have a smartass reply in store, or tell her to mind her own business, but she did neither. She looked deep in thought, her brow creased and her eyes clouded with a faraway look.

“Silver linings, right?” Clarke said, before sitting up straight. “Hmm, maybe I will.”

Lexa picked up on the wistful tone and knew Clarke was done with the subject. She sat back and stared at the wall, intent on changing the subject and lifting their moods. The bunker was suffocating enough without the presence of misery.  
  
“You know, when Gustus came into the group home, some of the little kids got scared. He’s this...huge guy...” She smiled. “Big as life. Beard, tattoos, the whole thing. I wasn’t scared. That came later when I realized that that out of all the kids there, he chose me. I was thirteen, one of the oldest there. I think I’d just resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t getting adopted. I was just counting down the years until I aged out of the system. But then Gus swooped in and...changed my life,” He cleared her throat. “And the guy ended up being a big softie, all 6 feet 4 of him. He has a Sponge bob tattoo on his ankle.”

She looked over at Clarke to see her smiling, like she’d _hoped_. The smile lit up her face.

“That sounds wonderful, Lexa,” Clarke told her. “You know, when I first met you, I thought you were an asshole.”

Lexa pulled back, frowning at the outrageous change in subject.

“I mean,” Clarke continued. “You were kind of rude, and the whole superiority complex thing-”

“Hey-”

“You got on my nerves,” Clarke told her, and then looked at her knowingly. “And I have a feeling it was mutual.”

Lexa remembered those days, and bit back a small, amused smile. She’d thought Clarke was insufferable.

The blonde’s gaze softened. “I didn’t know you back then,” she said, quieter. “I’m sorry.”

Lexa knew Clarke wasn’t just saying sorry for disliking her. She knew there was much more to it, but she wasn’t ready to think about all of that. She couldn’t make decisions about Clarke trapped inside a reduced space with her, cold and aching. Nothing good would come of it.

She thought about what Clarke had actually said instead.

Lexa couldn’t fault her for not liking her in the field. She portrayed a different attitude out there. She always had. And she was sure Clarke wasn’t the first one to think she was an arrogant asshole, but she didn’t know any other way to act with people she wasn’t close with. Maybe it was growing up in foster care and having to constantly prove herself to people, or her failed relationships, or something else, but it was hard to open up for her, even harder to be genuine. Letting people see the real you right off the bat, _left_ you too vulnerable.

What Clarke had said was true (and it was definitely a mutual dislike). All of the sudden, she had someone encroaching on her storms, her space; someone who was reckless, rude, and just as arrogant as she pretended to be. (Or maybe truly was, a little.) Clarke had _challenged_ her the first time she met her, even if she hadn’t wanted to admit it back then. That had never happened on the field before. Clarke had driven her crazy.

“It’s fine,” she told Clarke. “And you’re right that it was mutual,” she added, the corner of her mouth lifting up in a smile. “But you can’t really blame me for not expecting someone to encroach on my space.”  
  
“Yeah, well I didn’t expect someone to tell me where I could and couldn’t go. You were an obstacle, you kind of gave me no choice,” Clarke let out a small laugh. “I didn’t think it was possible for someone to be as hard-headed as me.”  
  
“Ouch,” Lexa said. “Well, I’ve been told I’m a workaholic. Physically incapable of knowing when to quit and take it easy,” she said offhandedly, quoting one of Anya’s favorite digs at her. “Anya and my dad are always telling there’s more to life than work.” Lexa huffed. “I love my work, though. It makes me happy. What’s wrong with that?” It was a rhetorical question, but Clarke answered it anyways.  
  
“There’s nothing wrong with that!” Clarke perked up, and turned to face her. “I’ve been told literally the exact same thing by my friends. They want me to get out and” Clarke did air-quotes, and Lexa smiled. “‘Have a life’. I have a life, it just involves more storms and less romance than they’d like.”

Lexa chuckled. Clarke sat back against the wall.

“I, huh...my last relationship didn’t turn out so well. This job takes a lot out of us, not everyone-”

“Gets it,” Lexa finished for her. “No, I know what you mean. My last girlfriend...same thing,” She shrugged. She never brought up Costia unless she had to, but she was beginning to realize she and Clarke had far more in common than she’d originally thought. “But really,” Lexa continued. “Who says you have to be dating someone to feel fulfilled as a person?”

“Exactly!” Clarke laughed again, this deep raspy laugh that she’d only heard once or twice before. Lexa blamed the shiver that ran down her spine on the coldness of the room. “I don’t see why they think the only way to be happy is being in a relationship. For instance Anya and Raven or Lincoln and Octavia...”

“Dating across enemy lines,” Lexa said without thinking.

Clarke hummed.

“Enemies. Is that what we are?”

Lexa looked at Clarke. The scratches and the grime mirroring hers. She didn’t have it in her to fight right now. She was too exhausted for that.

“I meant our teams, our shows. Competition and all that.”

Clarke nodded. Lexa could see her letting it go, too. Ceasefire.

“I can’t believe they’re all together,” Clarke mentioned, and Lexa chuckled. She didn’t know what was so funny. Maybe the adrenaline had finally started to fade, or they were both in shock, but suddenly they were both laughing at the hilarity of the situation. Their friends were all hooked up and here they were, surviving, trapped inside a hole 6 feet underground. Surviving, that’s what this was, Lexa thought, just _surviving_. She reminded herself of that as her laughter died down, made herself remember that things would be different once they came up to the surface again.

Right now, though, Clarke was laughing, and she liked the sound.

“If they could see us now….” Clarke trailed off again.

Lexa looked away.

It’s what Anya would have wanted for sure. She was dead sure her best friend was trying to set her up with Clarke. At least she was. What a picture that would have been?

Movement caught her attention.

She spluttered as she saw Clarke’s hands on the buttons of her blouse.

“I’m exhausted,” Clarke said. “It’s getting late, and we should conserve energy. Nothing wrong with taking a little nap.”

Clarke took off her shirt.

“What in the world are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m going to try and hypnotize you with my boobs. What does it look like? My shirt is wet, my jeans are a bit better, but not much. It’s getting colder. It’ll do me -us, really- more bad than good to stay wearing wet clothes,” She shamelessly threw the sopping wet garment in the corner, and Lexa looked up, up and away. “Lexa,” Clarke told her. “Your lips are turning blue, you’ve lost blood and we’re both wet and cold. Hypothermia is no fun. We need to stick together and conserve body heat.”

“I’m not dumb, Clarke,” she told her.

“And by stick together, I do mean stick together.”

Lexa took a deep breath.

She knew Clarke was right. Two people close together would conserve heat, and if temperatures dropped any further wearing wet clothes would be a death sentence. But still.

Fuck. Anya was _never_ going to find out about this. Never.

Lexa unbuttoned her shirt.

“So...how do you want to do this?” she asked, reaching for the blanket Clarke had found earlier and spreading it over her chest before throwing her wet shirt away.

“Just lay down and think of England,” Clarke told her, and Lexa couldn’t help her smile. She laid down on her side, the floor mercifully warm after she’d sat on it for so long.

Lexa shivered when Clarke’s warmth met her back.

“I didn’t realize-”

“You didn’t realize you were this cold,” Clarke acknowledged. She rubbed her hand up and down Lexa’s arm. Lexa shivered again, but for an entirely different reason. When was the last time she was _this_ close to a woman?

When was the last time she was so warm?

She felt Clarke tuck her arms against her chest, and then squeeze closer to Lexa, her forearms and stomach against her back. She felt a minute of disappointment upon realizing Clarke wasn’t planning on folding her arms around her. Stupid.

“Night, Lexa,” Clarke said.

Lexa breathed in.

She took account of herself, her leg still throbbing, but less than before, the hard cement floor beneath her cheek and side, and the warmth seeping into her bones. Clarke’s warmth. A woman who’d stolen from her, a criminal. A woman who’d saved her life a few hours before. Someone she _couldn’t_ understand, and wasn’t sure if she wanted to.

Someone she’d begun to...like.

Lexa breathed out.

And before she realized it, she was asleep and not _thinking_ at all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We apologize for the slight delay. Life has been hectic. We can't say for sure if the next chapter will be up Sunday, but we will do our best. We hope you enjoy :)

* * *

Clarke woke up disoriented.

Her mind _struggled_ to make sense of where she was for a moment. She tried to get up, but realized her arm was trapped-

Under Lexa. She’d been holding the other girl tightly. Everything came back to Clarke, the last surreal hours entering her head through all the sleep-fog slowing her down. She looked at the woman so close beside her. She must have _gravitated_ towards her in her sleep.

She tried to pull her out from under her, but Lexa moved. Clarke held her breath. She didn’t know why -not wanting to disturb her or nerves at the thought of Lexa realizing how they’d ended up...Clarke would say “cuddling” if they were on good standing.

Clarke was surprised though, when the other woman simply turned over -pushing Clarke on her back and putting her head on on her chest. Lexa slung her arm around her waist.

She couldn’t help it when her exhausted bones sank in even deeper against the concrete floor. It was warm beneath the blanket. So, so warm. The weight of Lexa’s arm was comforting, and sleep threatened to pull her back down.

All she heard from Lexa was deep breathing. The other woman was still asleep. Clarke was glad, after what she’d gone through with her leg, she could use it. And so could she. She felt herself crash earlier as they fell asleep, all of the adrenaline from escaping the car wreck and making it here slowly seeping from her body, leaving nothing, but her exhausted, aching bones behind.

Clarke sank back down. She couldn’t help but enjoy the feel of another person in her arms. She couldn’t help but wonder if it would feel the same if it was anyone else. (It wouldn’t.) Lexa was special, and Clarke knew then with aching _clarity_ that if she hadn’t fucked up, they could’ve been something.

They fit.

Her brain knew they were so close together only to conserve body heat, and that it meant nothing else, but she couldn’t control her heart. She liked Lexa. After what she did, though, she’d be lucky to even be able to call Lexa a friend.

They hadn’t talked about it after the tornado hit. Lexa hadn’t brought it up, even though Clarke swore she felt the elephant in the room pressing out what little oxygen they had, filling up the already reduced space of the bunker.

Clarke laid there, trying not to jostle Lexa, while her mind ran rampant. She knew the peace they shared right now couldn’t last forever. It was a temporary truce that she knew would be broken as soon as they were rescued. If they were rescued, she couldn’t help but think.

And she hated it, hated this knowing-but-not-knowing, this walking around on eggshells, but knew she only had _herself_ to blame.

She cared about Lexa more than she thought she did. Seeing her trapped in the car had scared the crap out of her. When Lexa told her to leave without her, that had almost broken her. She didn’t hesitate. Clarke knew she could do nothing, but stay. Nothing would have made her leave Lexa there to die. She needed her to live, maybe even needed her, she wasn’t sure in what way, but...

Before her thoughts could go deeper, Lexa began to stir. It only brought to the forefront of her mind how close they’d actually become after Lexa moved. Face to face, it almost seemed like every part of their body was touching. Lexa’s eyes fluttered as they opened.

And then everything she could see was sleepy green. They could very well be in the eye of a tornado, but all Clarke was reminded off was a calm lake before sunset. Everything was muted but Lexa, and she wasn’t looking away.

She nudged her head forward and then their foreheads were touching. Clarke couldn’t help the way she breathed in slowly, or how attuned she was to her chest expanding and claiming its space against Lexa’s they were so close. She couldn’t remember the last time she was so calm. It was like nothing else existed.

She could feel Lexa’s breath on her lips, the weight of her stare pressing her down. Clarke was mesmerized by her eyes. They were a color she’d never seen before, and she thought briefly she would be hard pressed to find it again if she let her go.

Clarke’s eyes moved away from Lexa’s, her gaze slipping down sharp cheekbones and the elegant slope of a defined jaw. And then the perfect pink pillows that were Lexa’s full lips. They were so close and the atmosphere so peaceful that Clarke’s exhausted brain could almost imagine this was a different situation, in a different place. But in this and every other world, Clarke wasn’t able to look and not want a taste.

Her eyes darted to Lexa’s when the other woman moved forward. Her eyes fluttering closed, Lexa started leaning in, and Clarke’s breath caught in her throat. Her heartbeat rushed through her ears. She felt Lexa’s breath on her lips and shuddered in anticipation. Their foreheads touched. Clarke’s eyes fell closed when she felt the ghost of Lexa’s lips hovering above hers. She was powerless to stop her, nor did she want to. This felt like _something_ she’d been waiting her whole life for.

She jumped as a crack of thunder lit up the space, effectively breaking them apart.

“I’m-”

“Aren’t our shirts dry by now?” Lexa asked, sitting up and scooting away.

Clarke was still dizzy with the previous moment. It would be just as likely she’d been dreaming, if Lexa wasn’t acting the way she was. It’d been real.

She sat up. She crawled on unsteady limbs to the corner of the room, where the still damp shirts rested. No luck. Clarke saw Lexa shiver out of the corner of her eye. She shook her head.

“They’re still wet,” she told her. She felt the same chill seeping back into her bones, and wished they were still in that bubble from 3 minutes ago, even if it didn’t make sense. “I think it’s only been a couple hours since we fell asleep.”

Clarke looked towards the ceiling. She could hear the sounds of the storm still rolling through. She prayed another tornado wouldn’t come through as she didn’t think the bunker would hold this time.

“Okay,” Lexa said, tugging the blanket around her shoulders as she sat up. Clarke hadn’t given her state of undress a second thought, but she realized it just then. At least she was wearing a decent bra.

Lexa stretched out her legs and leaned back against the wall. She noticed that Lexa sat as far away as she possibly could. So it had happened. Lexa had leaned forward and almost - and so had Clarke. They were both half asleep and cold and hurt, it made them seeked comfort in each other, didn’t it? It meant nothing. It had nothing to do with the pain in Clarke’s chest upon realizing _maybe_ Lexa liked her like she did her, that maybe she’d ruined a good thing before it had a chance to begin.

She knew though that Lexa couldn’t possibly feel that way about her and if she had before, she definitely didn’t now. She was all impulse minutes before, and no thought.

Clarke had let her heart guide her instead of her head.

Her mind drifted to Raven wondering what she would say in this situation. She would probably tell her to get her head out of her ass or something along those lines. She’d always been nothing but blunt, that was for sure. She missed one of her best friends, even if it didn’t even feel like they were friends lately. She’d let them drift farther and farther apart.

And now, trapped as she was, and terrified as she’d been a few hours ago -she knew what _really_ mattered. Her resentment was ridiculous in the face of so many years of friendship. She felt betrayed and she couldn’t change that, but she could change this. She wanted to change this. She decided that she would try when they got rescued.

If they got rescued.

“Does anyone else know about this place?” Clarke asked hesitantly, voicing her concerns. She wasn’t sure what reaction she might get from Lexa. She didn’t know where they stood, now more than ever.

Lexa looked up in surprise at the question.

“Yes, of course. Raven knows about it,” Lexa turned toward her. “She spoke to the couple who owns the house first. The...Mackenzies. Yeah. They offered their bunker to our team in case we ever filmed nearby,” Lexa shook her head, suddenly looking amused. “She spoke to the guy for a solid hour about how he’d built it himself. She’s into that sort of thing. As -as I’m sure you know.”

Clarke smiled. That _was_ Raven.

She sat back against the wall, a few feet away from Lexa. She was glad they’d know where to find them both, but she thought if anyone knew it would be Anya. It surprised her how close Raven and Lexa had gotten. It shouldn’t have. Raven was dating Lexa’s best friend, after all. But she still couldn’t couldn’t help the twinge of envy that Lexa probably knew Raven better than she did at this point. At least for the last several months, Lexa was _more_ her friend than she was.

“Well, that’s a relief,” she joked. “I wasn’t sure if anyone would find us otherwise. I mean, we are in the middle of nowhere basically.”

“Of course. Should’ve probably mentioned that earlier.”

Clarke shrugged.

She wasn’t too concerned about semantics before. Mostly relationships. She looked at Lexa.

“Thank you, by the way.”

Lexa gave her a weird look at that. “What exactly are you thanking me for?” She tilted her head like a confused puppy she might have seen in a meme or another. Clarke thought it was adorable.

“For being a friend to Raven,” she clarified. “She deserves it. I’ve...I’ve been a really shitty one lately, so thank you,” Clarke meant it even if Lexa looked dumbfounded.

“She makes Anya happier than I’ve ever seen her,” Lexa said, sounding honest. “I’m grateful for that. Besides...she grows on you eventually. Just don’t tell her I said that.”

Clarke smiled. It was strange how honest she felt she could be with her right now. But maybe the reduced space was just making her woozy.

They shared a look. “You’re secret is safe with me, I promise,” Clarke teased. “Besides you’re right, she does.”

They fell into a comfortable silence.

Lexa adjusted her seating position on account of her leg, and Clarke realized even if it had only been a few hours, it couldn’t hurt to check.

“Lexa, uh...” Clarke motioned for the first aid kit. “Is it okay if I check your leg? I want to at least change the bandage. Who knows what’s been in this floor, we should try and prevent infection.”  

“Alright,” Lexa turned and gingerly put her leg in Clarke’s lap.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief when she pulled it off. It had clotted, and the tissue was no redder or more swollen than before. Lexa would be fine. Clarke dabbed more alcohol on it to be on the safe side before covering the wound in clean gauze.

“All done,” she said, patting her leg. She awkwardly sat back against the wall next to Lexa while the other woman pulled back her leg.

Clarke closed her eyes.

The wall was cold and unforgiving, and the floor was damp, but exhaustion still was getting the better of her. Only having a couple hours of sleep in the last day on top of their wild adventure, had left her _drained_.

She felt herself dozing off, and only just barely managed to grab the side of the blanket that Lexa offered before falling asleep.

-=-

Lexa jumped when Clarke’s head fell on her shoulder.

She almost shrugged her off, but thought better of it and made herself relax instead. She should let Clarke get some sleep for a little while. It wasn’t like they were going anywhere anytime soon. She just prayed that Raven remembered the place and connected the dots, and knew that this was the most likely place for them to seek shelter. She hoped both of their teams had been fast enough to be okay, and as soon as the storm passed, they would come. She estimated that it probably wouldn’t be for hours as the storm hadn’t let up at all.

She craned her neck to look at the blonde snoring softly on her shoulder.

Lexa still didn’t know what to _make_ of their current situation. She was still reeling from the truck, her leg and waking up so close to her. She thought back to how good it felt to be that close to another person. She hadn’t woken up next to someone since Costia. Lexa had thought for one brief moment she was dreaming. Despite the pain in her leg and the chill from the floor, she’d felt wrapped in delicate silk, warm and comfortable under Clarke’s gaze.

Had they really _almost_ kissed?

Did she want to? The questions bounced around in her head and she didn’t know the answer.

She couldn’t think about them without her mind reeling from everything that had happened before. Her stolen footage. Sending Clarke away. Clarke’s truck. (Clarke’s truck. How had she been so angry to disconnect what she’d done to her truck from what Clarke had done? The dawning realization that she had to come clean about what she did fell over her. Lexa felt nerves stir in her stomach that Clarke wouldn’t understand -but how could she not, considering what she did?)

Clark lifted her head up sharply.

“It’s okay, you’re safe,” she said, almost second-nature.

Clarke looked around, and then dragged a hand down her face.

“Sorry,” Clarke looked at her sheepishly, straightening up. “I didn’t mean to doze off.”

“No need,” Lexa told her. “After today’s events, you’re entitled to doze.”

Clarke nodded, but she still pulled away, fully waking up. Lexa felt Clarke's eyes on her, but Clarke made no move to speak. Lexa met her eyes.

“You okay?” she asked.

Clarke nodded.

“No, yeah, I just…” Clarke stared at a corner, her eyes wandering before landing back on hers. “We’ve been here for hours and we haven’t talked about-”

“Clarke…” Lexa said carefully. They’d done a good job of ignoring the elephant in the room so far, there was no reason to bring it up now.

“Lexa, please listen,” Clarke said. Lexa shook her head, she wasn’t ready to hear whatever it was. “I’m sorry, I- I shouldn’t have done what I did. But you need to know why-”

“You stole from me,” Lexa said firmly. “And I get that you’re sorry, you’ve said that, but it doesn’t change anything-”

“If you’d just let me talk-”

“Clarke,” Lexa turned toward her sharply. She wished she could stand, but her leg throbbed and knew it would be a bad idea. “We’re trapped here, and we’re going to be trapped here for god knows how long. And we can either _fight_ or we can get through this. Your call.”

Clarke swallowed, hard, then nodded.

Clarke made her way over to the opposite side of the room, and Lexa saw her dig through a box and pull out some food. She walked back and handed Lexa some before getting back under their shared blanket. It was almost derisory, how they had to sit so close to share body heat, and yet had _such_ a great wall between them.

“Thank you,” Lexa said quietly, taking the food.

The tension between them felt like a tangible thing.

“You’re welcome,” Clarke said stiffly.

Lexa opened the package of cookies in her hands and started eating. She hadn’t realized how famished she was until the dry cookie crumbles made their way down her throat. She took a bigger bite. She looked over to see Clarke doing the same thing. Lexa couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten. It was probably the pizza from last night. (Had it been just last night?)

She looked over at her again seeing how stiff her posture was and felt something aching to pity stir in her throat. She shouldn’t, but couldn’t help it. If Clarke noticed her looking, she gave no indication.

Her stomach still clenched with hunger once the last of the package was gone, and then Clarke’s hand was in her field of vision, offering half a packet of beef jerky.

She nodded her thanks.

Lexa ate. Clarke broke apart tiny pieces of the dried meat with her fingertips, and though playing with food had always been Lexa’s biggest pet peeve about people, she said nothing.

“I was 22 years old when I got hired, you know?” Clarke piped up suddenly. “Fresh out of college,” She shrugged. “I thought it was my chance.”

“Clarke…”

Clarke ignored her.

“Alie, my boss...she made it sound so glamorous. Like it’d be easy. And it was, it really was,” Clarke bit her lip, staring at the wall. Lexa didn’t have it in her to make her shut up. “But being the weather girl, you know...wearing cocktail dresses and explaining where it was fucking going to rain...it wasn’t what I’d wanted...what i dreamed of doing. I’d been just a kid with stars in my eyes thinking that my perfect job had arrived just because I’d wanted it badly enough.”

Lexa looked away from her. She _knew_ what Clarke was talking about. She’d felt the same. And it had been true for her.

“And then Alie gave me a shot with the stormchasers segment,” Clarke said, and Lexa’s attention was pulled back to magnetic blue eyes. Clarke looked up at her, and Lexa felt pinned down, like a butterfly. “It was all I ever wanted. My dream...finally coming true. We did so great that first year, ” A small, wistful smile appeared in Clarke’s face. “Me, Raven and Octavia, us against the world. I felt like we were actually making a difference,” Clarke said, her voice unsteady. “We were out there risking it so we could...gather information and understand more in order to warn families, it felt like I was preventing other little kids from losing their dads like I did.”

Lexa saw tears watering Clarke’s eyes, and it made her feel like the scum of the earth, as if it was her fault the other woman was crying in the first place. This Clarke, she understood. This Clarke, she was getting to know. This Clarke made her feel things...and it was _this_ Clarke she didn’t want to hurt.

“And then, things got rough at the channel. Netflix...people getting their news from Twitter and Facebook rather than the TV. The usual stuff, you know. It’s faster to get news that way, young people don’t care about segments on the 6’o clock news when they have gifs...And then Raven left.”

Lexa felt a _pang_ of guilt. She was the reason why.

“Half our ratings dropped. More people changed the channel when our segment came on,” Clarke shrugged. “We didn’t give up. Suddenly we had to do more than what we’d been doing. And I did. I risked more, I got closer to the tornadoes....”

Lexa knew this. Clarke had a reputation for being a daredevil. Lexa had _taken_ the fuse out of her truck because she was sure Clarke was going to get killed.

“And that was enough for a while. But I just- I kept having to do even more. To...outdo myself every week, to keep ratings from falling again. And all the while Alie was breathing down my neck...”

Lexa knew what was coming. And she didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want sympathy to bloom in her chest like she knew it would.

“When I got nothing that day, I panicked. I was on a roll from the week before and I couldn’t afford to-”

“That’s enough,” Lexa said.

Clarke stopped talking. She wiped her hands beneath her eyes, smudging grime down her cheeks. It only made it more prevalent where they were and in what situation.

“You should, uh- you should check if we have signal again,” she told Clarke, handing her her cellphone.

Clarke nodded and took it, but never looked at her.

Lexa was grateful for the _moment_ of reprieve.

It felt like whiplash, how close they’d been one second and how far apart the next, how Clarke could feel like her only ally and her enemy in the same breath. It was the situation, Lexa knew. Clarke had saved her life only days after stealing from her, and now they were trapped together and sleeping close to preserve heat while trying to ignore everything that had transpired. It was complicated. She didn’t have it in her to think about it. She didn’t want to.

She’d always needed space and time away from her problems to make good decisions, and here, she had neither.

Clarke came back, shaking her head. She handed her back her cell phone, and along with it a bottle of water she held in her other hand.  

“It’s the last one,” Clarke told her, while Lexa opened the bottle. She took a long drink before handing it back to Clarke, who shook her head. Lexa pushed it into her hands anyway.

Clarke had saved her life before, and she was still at it now. It was _hard_ to grasp. Difficult to connect it to the image she’d painted of the woman in the last few days. She’d stolen from her, that was a fact. But so was everything else she’d done.

Lexa sighed.

“Outside, that’s when you did it, right?” she asked her.

Clarke looked at her. “I thought you didn’t want to talk-”

“When we were all inside my room at the motel, and you went outside,” Lexa clarified, ignoring her words. “You weren’t just smoking, were you?”

Clarke shook her head.

Anya had always told her she was like a dog with a bone sometimes, but Lexa had always thought she was more like a little kid with a scab on their knee. She couldn’t help picking at things, when she got restless. Berating herself for _mistakes_ she’d done or things she could’ve done better, in this case, Clarke. She couldn’t escape her, not here. And she couldn’t understand.

So maybe she _had_ to try.

“I want to know why,” she said finally, looking Clarke dead in the eye.

“When I left the room...it wasn’t what I was thinking at all. My intention was never to steal from you, I promise,” Clarke turned toward her. “I was out there thinking about what the hell to do. My truck had broken down, I’d gotten nothing for the week, my boss was breathing down my neck...and then I remembered you mentioning that all of your footage was kept in the van. The idea hit me and I- I just stood there _actually_ thinking about it, and I couldn’t believe I was thinking about it, but I was. And then it seemed like there was such a small distance between thinking and doing...I won’t lie, Lexa, I know what I _chose_ to do was wrong.”

Lexa stared at her, saw the honesty shining through.

“I did,” Clarke continued. “But I wasn’t thinking about you and how you would feel and for that, I’m truly sorry. I know it doesn’t mean much, but I am.”

Lexa couldn’t understand how Clarke did it...knowing it was wrong, but she believed Clarke when she said she was sorry. They’d only just started becoming friends recently, but nobody could lie like that.

“All I could think about was this job that we’d sacrificed so much for and it was about to ripped from my grasp and Octavia’s,” She shook her head. “I know sorry doesn’t begin to cover it-”

“What do you mean your job was going to be taken from you?”

Clarke sat back against the wall, running restless fingers through her greasy hair.

“Alie...she told me my segment was on the chopping block,” Clarke hugged herself, and Lexa felt a primal need to...she didn’t even know what. “Believe it or not, I was tempted to use old footage. Try to pass it off as new, but after what we’d managed the week before I knew it wouldn’t do. Plus I remembered the last time I did, Alie noticed and she was pissed. That was around the time the ‘ _warnings_ ’ she called them, started.”

“What warnings?” Lexa asked.

“Ratings fall again and we’re done. We cost too much to produce. We don’t bring anything to the channel, that sort of thing...I mean, it’s not like we could compete with you,” Clarke waved her hand. “She used nicer words, sure, but it all came down to the same thing.”

Lexa took a deep breath, trying to _digest_ all this information. She looked at Clarke and knew if the choice was presented again, the other woman wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. Lexa knew that, she could feel it, the same way she _could_ feel when a really good storm was coming before it was announced.

But could she forgive her? Did she deserve it? If she thought just about her actions here in the bunker, than yes, Clarke deserved her forgiveness. Her gratitude, even. One look at the blonde, and Lexa could tell that Clarke believed that she would never earn her forgiveness. She _wasn’t_ so sure now.

Lexa let her head fall back against the cold, cement wall.

She wasn’t thinking clearly. Her heart ached for Clarke, her hands itched to caress away the frown that had settled in her brow, and that was...her stupid feelings played a role in it. Clarke had stolen from her. She was angry, still, she’d been wronged -she had enough grounds to pursue legal action. Clarke had saved her life, had refused to leave her behind, trapped and waiting for death. Clarke had taken care of her. She was thankful. She was...a slew of other things. She remembered Clarke’s words, about how her job was in jeopardy because she’d gotten nothing new for that week. Because her truck had broken down. And she _had_ caused that. She felt guilt, slow and cold like an injection.

Lexa had always _chosen_ her head over heart, but her heart seemed to be leading this one and she wasn’t so sure that was a bad thing anymore.

“I can...understand, that you believed you had no other choice, but it was still a crime, Clarke. And to top it all off I thought we were becoming friends and I just…” She trailed off, not ready to admit she had anything more than friendly feelings towards her. And that wasn’t even getting into what she’d done. Had she _caused_ all this by screwing with Clarke’s truck? Had she crossed a line?

She’d thought she was saving her life, but would she have done the same if she’d known Clarke was risking it because she had to? Or she felt she did? Lexa didn’t know.

“Do you have any idea what I felt when I saw my footage passed off as yours?” she asked. “Betrayed. Like this was all some sort of game to you,” Her voice rose. “Was that your intention all along? You just needed to get close to me in order to go behind my back?” She stated out loud the worst of her thoughts. That she’d been used.

That feeling was the absolute worst.

Clarke looked devastated. “No, it wasn’t at all.”

Clarke’s hand covered hers and Lexa pulled away.

“It was never my intention to make you feel any of that,” Clarke insisted. “It was never a game to me, I would never play someone like that. I didn’t plan to steal from you, I wanted to get my own footage, but then the stupid truck didn’t start, and my segment and my job and it all snowballed from there. I promise you that I didn’t use you. I didn’t try to manipulate you. I couldn’t, you…I just couldn’t.”

“I don’t know what to _believe_ ,” Lexa told her.

She saw the sincerity in her eyes, shining in the form of tears. It only made it harder as Lexa thought about how she’d had a hand in this whole mess. If she hadn’t taken the fuse, the truck would’ve started. Clarke would’ve gotten her own footage and they wouldn’t be here.

Or so she said.

Lexa wanted to groan.

Thinking back on it, Lexa could understand where Clarke was coming from.

It wasn’t easy to be the one people depended on. If Lexa put herself in her shoes, Clarke was protecting her people and herself. And Lexa could see herself doing the same thing. 

Would she stoop as low as Clarke did and steal? She honestly didn’t know. She’d never been put in that situation. But she knew she’d do anything for her team.

Octavia didn’t know. If she reported this, then the woman would pay, too, and Lincoln...Lincoln was part of her team and he’d be angry, deep down. Raven would be too, she was both Clarke and Octavia’s friend. And Anya, her sister in all the ways that mattered...Lexa loved her, but she wasn’t sure Anya would choose her side over her girlfriend’s. It almost felt like her hands were tied.

Or maybe that’s what she wanted to believe, so she wouldn’t have to face her own feelings in the matter.

Her heart told her that Clarke was desperate and _desperate_ people did stupid things they regretted later. Her heart tried to convince her that Clarke truly thought she had no other options. That she shouldn’t punish an innocent woman for the sins of another, or hurt her team in the way of seeking justice for something that hadn’t damaged her or her show or her family. Something that, in a way, Lexa had inadvertently helped along by meddling with Clarke’s business.

Was it _worth_ it?  

“I know you have no reason to believe me, I don’t fault you for that. What I did was wrong, I know that. But if you believe anything about me, please believe that I was not using you,” Lexa looked at her, she couldn’t help it. She was drawn to that blue gaze. “You could never be a game to me.”

Lexa shook her head and tore her eyes away.

“I just- What am I supposed to do?” she asked out loud.

Clarke didn’t answer. She just looked away, guilt staining her features. Lexa felt that too. And she needed her to know.

“I have something I need to tell you.”

Clarke looked over at her. “What is it?”

Lexa took a deep breath. “Your truck.”

“What about it?”

“That day...it wouldn’t start because a fuse was missing.”

Clarke frowned. “How...how do you know that?”

Lexa swallowed. “Because I did it,” Lexa looked up to see realization dawn on Clarke’s face. “I was afraid you were going to get yourself killed.”

Clarke looked at her in bewilderment. Lexa watched the different emotions flash across her face. Shock and then anger took over. She jumped up suddenly flinging the blanket off and started pacing back and forth.

“It was you, then! How could you blame me for something that was your fault?”

“I didn't make you steal. Don't try to pin your choices on me-”

“If I’d gotten some footage-”

“You wouldn't have gotten anything, but an early grave, Clarke.”

“That wasn’t for you to decide-”

“I couldn’t stand by and watch you die. I just couldn’t,” Lexa saw compassion in Clarke's gaze for a moment, before the anger took over once again. Lexa tried to get up, using the wall as support. She had never gotten used to feeling small and wasn't going to start now.

“You don’t know that for sure,” Clarke told her. “You took that choice away from me.”

“Yeah, I did and I would do it again in a heartbeat,” Lexa stood up, groaning at the pressure in her leg. “I was trying to protect you.”

“I didn’t need your protection. What I needed was to get some footage and I would have if you hadn’t tampered with my fucking truck!” Clarke’s voice rose in volume. Lexa thought she could compete with the sounds of the storm outside with the force with which she flung her words.

“I may have been an instrument in this, Clarke, but you were the one who decided to steal from me.”

“You were the one that gave me no choice.”

“You know that’s not true,” Lexa told her. “You stole from me in order to keep your job. What I did was to protect you. To stop you from losing your life! That’s worlds apart, Clarke,” Lexa ran her fingers through her hair. “What’s more important? Your job or your life?”

Clarke stared her down with steely blue eyes.

“My job is my life!”

Thunder crackled above them.

“You were going to get yourself killed! Had I not done what I did, I would be going to your funeral!” Lexa was yelling now.

“It is my life! You had no right to interfere!”

“I had no right? That’s rich coming from you! I was trying to save your life!” Lexa was furious, she felt the red hot feeling run through her body like electricity, driving away the chill.

“You started this! Had you not messed with my truck, then I never would have stolen from you. We could’ve avoided all this bullshit!”

Clarke had a point and she knew it, but what she did and what Clarke did weren’t not the same thing. They both did things, but what Clarke did was worse.

“Maybe you’re right, but I didn’t make you steal from me,” she reiterated. “You chose to do that, no one forced you too. “

“Do you hear how fucking self-righteous you sound right now? You took my options away!"

“Committing a crime was your decision and yours alone!” She was breathless, and her vision swam, but she shouldered through it. “Don’t blame me for your poor choices.”

“Isn’t tampering with someone’s car criminal as well?”

Lexa stuttered. “That’s- that’s-”

“What if it had started and then the brakes had failed or something-”

“It would have never started! I made sure of it-”

“That sounds like att-”

“I hear something,” The hairs on the back of Lexa’s neck stood on end. She thought she felt the very walls around her move.

The storm still raged outside, and so did Clarke.

“Clarke. Shut up.”

They both looked up, listening to the sounds coming from above, faint, but there. And then they both turned away from each other and began to scream.

“We’re here!”

“We’re here!” Her throat hurt with the burst of sound, but she felt hope, bright and warm and blinding, blooming in her chest.

“They're down there!” She heard Raven’s voice say.

And then blessed sunlight _came_ through the cracks of the collapsed wall in front of them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry about the long wait, it was absolutely my fault (anddirtyrain) school and exams got hectic for me and I wasn't able to devote enough time to fic writing. My co-writer has been incredibly kind and understanding, and I hope you guys will be too. Without further ado, enjoy the chapter! :)

* * *

Clarke had never felt happier than in that _moment_ she heard voices above them.

Her throat was hoarse from screaming, but it was worth it when she saw light shining through a crack. She took a deep breath. She hadn’t realized just how stale and hot the atmosphere was down here, and her eyes closed automatically while she enjoyed the fresh air. She jumped back suddenly when debris started falling.  
  
She stumbled into Lexa who had come up behind her, but was able to grab her elbow to steady them both so neither would fall. She knew their conversation was nowhere close to being finished, but now wasn’t the time. Clarke was too relieved and way too exhausted.

Clarke put it aside and focused on getting them both the hell out of here. She could be pissed later.  
  
“I thought I told you not to put any weight on your leg,” she told Lexa, forcing them both another step back in case the debris collapsed inward. Clarke looked down, noticing Lexa’s leg was soaking the gauze.

“You’re bleeding again,” She could bet her life that Lexa wouldn’t let her look at it right now and resigned herself that she would have to wait to attend to it.

Lexa took notice of the injury and grimaced in pain. She put all her weight on one leg, standing like the Leaning Tower of Girl. Clarke knew how painful it had to be for Lexa to actually show how much it hurt.

“Well, shit,” Lexa said, deadpan, though the groan beneath the words betrayed her discomfort. “Lucky for us, looks like my team is here to help us.”

The crack in the collapsed wall became larger with each passing second.

Clarke moved Lexa’s arm over her shoulder and took most of her weight knowing Lexa wasn’t going to ask for help.  
  
“Very funny, I really hope you didn’t make it worse by walking on it when I told you not to,” She made them take another step back, her eyes on the hole in the wall. A strong, brown hand sneaked through and began pulling on the slabs of concrete.

Lexa stumbled.

“We need to get you to the hospital and get that checked out.”

Even though her eyes were glazed over with pain, Lexa shook her head.  
  
“We both need to get checked out, Clarke. I’m…” Before Lexa could finish, a ladder was being lowered down into the bunker.  
  
Lincoln clambered down the ladder, the noise making Clarke flinch. It was too loud after the silence of the past...however long they’d spent down here. Even the storm raging outside had been muted by the thick concrete walls around them.

Seeing Lincoln and hearing Raven’s voice outside and noticing all the other sounds they’d gone without -the wind, the birds, the trees- was disconcerting.    

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Lincoln, and she noticed the same feeling etched on Lexa’s face as well. Lincoln turned around with a smile on his face before rushing over and hugging them both.

He was...hot. Warm to the touch. A shiver ran through her, and Clarke _realized_ just how cold they’d both been down here.

Lincoln stepped back. A strange expression crossed his face, and Clarke could swear beneath his dark skin. he...blushed? He turned around suddenly.

Clarke was baffled until she looked down, and realized she -and Lexa- were still half naked. She left Lexa leaning against the wall while she grabbed their shirts.

She wasn’t the most prudish person out there, but walking around in a bra in front of her best friend’s boyfriend that she barely knew was slightly uncomfortable even for her. Clarke tossed Lexa her shirt, and then took a moment to help her shrug it on when she saw her struggling. The closeness was dissonant after their interrupted fight, but it was almost second nature to Clarke. She couldn’t see anyone -couldn’t see Lexa- needing help, and turning a blind eye to that.

Clarke pulled on her own. It was still damp, and the fabric clung to her skin in places while rubbing dirt in others, but it was better than (literally) nothing. She also grabbed the first aid kit knowing she was going to need it to patch Lexa’s leg again once they were out there. The stubborn ass.

“You can turn around now,” she said. “It’s safe,” Clarke smiled and liked him even more when she saw the blush still on his cheeks. He walked over slowly and was given a nod by Lexa for him to help.  
  
He took Lexa’s arm and swung it over his shoulder, and wrapped an arm around her waist, so he was holding most of her weight.

“You guys ready to get out of here?” Lincoln asked. “The storm is mostly over and everyone is waiting for you. Wasn’t easy to make them stay up there though.”  
  
Clarke smiled.  
  
“I can believe that,” For the first time in hours she thought about other people in the context of where they were. No one knew if they were okay. They must have found the overturned truck outside. Had Octavia called her mom? Clarke had been worried about her safety and Lexa’s, but now she worried about her friends and family, what she probably put them through. Clarke couldn’t wait to leave the bunker. “Let’s get out of here.”  
  
“Clarke, you go up first,” Lincoln said. “I’ll send Lexa up behind you,” He helped Lexa to walk over to the ladder while Clarke followed closely behind.  
  
Looking at the ladder and her route to freedom, she shook her head. “No, Lexa needs to go first. She’s hurt,” She saw Lincoln look down to focus on her leg and swear.  
  
“Okay, Lex. Let’s get you out of here,” Lincoln tried walk, but Clarke saw Lexa resisting.  
  
“No, Clarke, you go first. It’s okay. I’ll be fine,” She swayed on her feet a moment.  
  
“Like hell you will,” Clarke said. “Look at your leg,” Clarke snapped before running her hand over her face. “Go. Please,” That seemed to do the trick as Lexa nodded. She started hobbling towards the ladder, waving away Lincoln’s assistance.  
  
Clarke went to help, but Lexa waved her away as well. She stood back and watched Lexa start climbing. Every time she put pressure on her bad leg, Lexa bit her lip and Clarke could see the pain she was trying to hide and hated it. But Clarke also saw the determination as well.

Lexa was stubborn as hell, but Clarke could respect that. It reminded her of...herself.

Once Lexa was halfway up, Clarke climbed up behind her. Hands reached down and pulled Lexa up the rest of the way. Clarke’s hands slipped on one of the handles as it was slick with...blood. Lexa’s blood. Clarke swallowed, hard. She ignored it and kept climbing. When she got to the top, she was yanked into a bone crushing hug by Octavia.  
  
Clarke hugged her back while her eyes adjusted to the light.

She was nowhere near close to cabin fever, but she already felt better just getting to feel the sun on her skin and breathe in the fresh air. Once her eyes got used to the brightness, she started looking around for Lexa.

Clarke spotted her a few feet away being fussed over by Anya and would have laughed at Lexa’s expression if she hadn’t been so pale. And Lexa was bleeding. She stepped away from her friend only to be engulfed in another hug.  
  
Raven squeezed her tightly, and Clarke was caught off guard. She couldn’t remember the last time her friend had hugged her like this, but she only let herself enjoy it for a moment before she was pulling away, entirely focused on getting to Lexa.

She escaped from Raven’s hug and walked the few steps to where Lexa was sitting, before kneeling in front of her.

Clarke ignored the daggers being thrown her way by Anya and started removing the bloody gauze from her leg. She could feel multiple pairs of eyes on her, but ignored them in favor of tying a strip of her shirt above the cut in Lexa’s wound, hoping to stem the bleeding brought on by Lexa putting pressure on it.

She went through the familiar motions before pressing fresh gauze on top of the wound. That should do it until she got to a hospital. (Just how much blood had she lost?)  
  
When she was done, she met Lexa’s eyes. The woman looked steadily back at her with an unreadable expression. “Thank you, Clarke,” she said.

Their friends broke the moment.  
  
“We need to get you both to the hospital now,” Raven commented. “You both look like shit.”  
  
“Thanks Rae,” she said, deadpan.

“We’ve been stuck together for hours,” Lexa said. “Trust me, it’s not like we didn’t know.”

Clarke snorted and rolled her eyes, which had everyone laughing. Clarke felt almost dizzy with it. She knew, logically, that less than 10 minutes ago she and Lexa were fighting, but now? In the sunlight, relieved, laughing with her friends she hadn’t known for sure they were safe? Clarke can’t remember a single bad feeling, couldn’t muster it up if she tried.  
  
Lexa went to stand up, but stumbled.  Purely on instinct, Clarke reached out to help, but found herself rebuffed by Anya, who threw her another death glare.  
  
“I got it,” she snapped venom evident in her tone. “You’ve done more than enough, don't you think?”  
  
Before Clarke could reply, Lexa beat her to it. “Anya, em pleni!” Lexa scolded putting her arm across her shoulders.  
  
Clarke wondered what the hell language that was. She turned a questioning eye to Raven, who shrugged her shoulders and mouthed “Tell you later.”  
  
Anya huffed, turning her back on Clarke and with Lincoln’s help, got Lexa in the car.  
  
Raven and Octavia stood back next to her as she watched the other two get in as well. She saw Anya shoot Raven a look. Raven shook her head to the silent question. Clarke watched helplessly as they drove off, hoping they were going straight to the hospital as Lexa was in dire need to be checked out by a professional.  
  
Clarke finally noticed their surroundings fully.

She took another deep breath of fresh air before she saw the _devastating_ damage the tornado had caused. She let out a gasp. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, but the power of nature was always amazing and terrifying.  
  
The house was ripped away minus the portion that had collapsed in on the bunker. Thick, heavy trees were strewn about, ripped from their roots. There was debris everywhere, posts pulled up, metal pieces, a car upside down in the distance. She looked for the truck they’d been in, but it was nowhere in sight.

Clarke’s eyes burned. For a moment, she was a kid again, scared out of her mind. Her mind rushed her back to that day, coming out of the storm cellar with her mom to an eerily similar scene unfolding before her, and hoping beyond hope that her father wasn’t really gone, hoping it was all a dream, instead of her new crushing reality.  
  
Clarke shook her head of the memories, knowing that this was a different time in a different place with a different outcome. _This_ time, she was able to do something; this time, she made a difference. This time she didn’t _lose_ anyone she cared about.  
  
She was snapped out of her thoughts by her friends.

“C’mon, Clarke, we need to get you to the hospital too,” Octavia said motioning towards the other vehicle.  
  
Clarke stood there for another moment, her eyes scanning over the wasteland. “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” She walked over and got in the back.  
  
Her head was all over the place and she didn’t know where to begin to sort any of it out.

Riding in the back of Octavia’s car, Raven next to her, it all fell into place for car. The closer they got to the city they easier it was for her to focus, to feel her injuries, to remember what had gone down in the bunker moments before they were found. She was angry, confused, exhausted, worried, and a hundred other things.

She knew she had to deal with the new information she found out and her own feelings regarding it. But she also felt this _ache_ in her chest, and realized the ache was missing Lexa. She chose to ignore it for now and instead fell asleep not even five minutes into the drive.  
  
She would _worry_ about everything after she woke up.

-=-

Clarke waited for the doctor to finish his examination. She was pretty sure she didn’t have have any serious injuries, and she was never one to follow protocol much anyway, but she bit back a sigh while he shone a light in her eyes. She just wanted to go home. Maybe check on Lexa beforehand, to at least get some peace of mind.

She didn’t know what to think after the bunker. She was upset and had a right to be, didn’t she? Lexa was the _cause_ of it all. She would have never stolen anything had Lexa not screwed with the truck. She would have gotten her own footage and been fine. Maybe they could have been friends, but no, she had to go behind her back because in her mind, she was saving her.  
  
She didn’t need saving.  
  
“...So here’s the prescription for pain medication, and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call,” Clarke focused back on the doctor. She hoped she hadn’t missed anything important.

“A nurse will be in to discharge you. Okay?”

Clarke nodded.  
  
“Okay. Thank you, sir.”

She sat on the hospital bed, scratching at the gown that rubbed her skin the wrong way. The doctor walked out just as Raven walked in. More like, sauntered, into the room and looking at ease while she sat down in the chair.  
  
Clarke stared at her, not sure where she stood with her friend. She still remembered what she decided while she was trapped in the bunker. Clarke missed her and wanted to fix their friendship. She just didn’t know where to start.  
  
“You free to go?” Raven finally broke the silence lingering between them. “Octavia sent me to check on you, she had to take a call,” She stood back up, handing Clarke a brown bag. “Oh and here are some clean clothes for you as well.”  
  
Clarke opened the bag, and stared at the clothes like they were gold. In this moment, there were even better.

“Thanks. And I’m okay, no serious injuries. Just have to wait to be discharged,” Clarke looked at the corner of the room. For so long after Raven took the job with Lexa she’d been so cutting, so childish. She couldn’t even meet Raven's eyes.  
  
“That’s good to hear, C,” Raven got up to leave. “I’ll let O know what room you’re in,” Clarke watched her leave, knowing she couldn’t just let her leave. She hated the awkwardness that appeared between them sometimes, and wanted to fix it. She _knew_ she had to be the one to take the first step. She was, after all, the one that had screwed up and let her insecurities _almost_ cost her one of her dearest friends.  
  
“Rae, wait, please,” Clarke pleaded.  
  
Raven turned around, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she said simply.

“For what?” Raven questioned. “For not dying? Because believe me, I don’t think the insurance money would have gotten all the way to me,” she joked awkwardly, Raven’s go to coping mechanism. Clarke didn’t let her go for it.

“You know for what. And I’m sorry that it took me this long,” she told her. “I miss you, I miss...us. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did.”  
  
Raven pursed her lips, but she closed the door. She made her way to the chair beside Clarke’s gurney.

So they were doing this.

They’d acted like friends, Clarke had pretended that she forgot, that she no longer cared. It was long overdue to stop pretending and actually talking to her friend.  
  
“Thing is...I was jealous,” she said, and the words were a relief to get out. “You...you got this great opportunity to do what you love and I hated it. I was a shitty person and an even shittier friend. I thought I was never going have what you got offered. And to top it all off, you _joined_ Lexa’s team.”

Raven stood there not saying anything.

Clarke sighed. “In my mind...she was always the enemy, you know? We used to joke about them and trash them when we got drunk. And then you joined them. And then started dating one of them. It was all..too much. And you were just...so happy, but I couldn’t see it,” Clarke paused. “No, I didn’t _want_ to see it, because it was easier to be mad at you, easier to keep you at a distance than admit to myself that I was failing, and there was no one to blame, but me. Certainly not Lexa’s team, or you leaving. Me, just me,” Clarke looked up at her, fighting the burn in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Rae. I’m sorry I was so stupid.”  
  
Raven looked away and Clarke saw her wipe her own tears. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”

Raven got up and then Clarke was being hugged tightly. “You’re one of my best friends, no matter what.”  
  
Clarke squeezed her tighter. She pulled away first.

“Now...there are things you don’t know and I want to tell you. Will you listen and not interrupt?”  
  
Raven rolled her eyes and smiled. “I make no promises, but I’ll do my best.”  
  
Clarke then proceeded to tell her everything that had been going on since Raven had left. The threats, the pressure, the show, everything that she had kept to herself, she unloaded on her best friend. Once she was finished, she looked at Raven who sat stunned speechless in her chair.  
  
“Oh my god, C. What the hell. Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped. I could have done something. You…I…does O know?” She shook her head. “Of course she does, but why not tell me?”  
  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to involve you in it. You had left; it wasn’t your problem anymore. You were happy and in love. I didn’t want to ruin that with my issues at the station.”  
  
“You shouldn’t have to deal with that though. Alie shouldn’t be pressuring you like she is. I’ll look into it. There has to be something I can do.”  
  
“I’ll take care of it. Thank you, though,” Clarke paused. “It means a lot.”  
  
Raven smiled and nodded, a habit she must have picked up from spending so much time with Lexa and Anya as they both were women of a few words.  
  
Clarke smiled back. They heard a knock and then a nurse bustled in with her discharge papers. Clarke couldn’t wait to go shower and sleep in her own bed. She signed where she was supposed to and was told once again to take it easy.  
  
Once the nurse left, Clarke changed into the clean clothes that Raven had brought her. She breathed in the clean linen scent and thanked Octavia in her head. She shoved her dirty clothes into the bag and debated lighting them on fire. They reeked, but she decided against it for now.  
  
“Let’s get you home,” Raven said, standing up and helping Clarke to the door. “You ready?”  
  
“Yes, let’s get the hell out of here,” Clarke said.

But still her mind _drifted_ to Lexa, wondering where in the hospital she was and if she was okay.

-=-

Walking into her apartment with her two best friends was just what Clarke _needed_ after the events of the past couple days.

The heaviness in her bones couldn’t entirely be blamed on the ordeal she and Lexa had just endured. It was a long time coming. She had been so focused on her work that she’d neglected her best friends -and herself- for months. She saw Octavia every day, sure, but they hadn’t taken the time to just hang out and relax in ages. She hadn’t taken the time to relax.

Now she kinda had to.

Alie had called Octavia while they were in the car, and instructed her to put Clarke on the phone. She’d then instructed Clarke to get some rest for the next two weeks, as they would be conducting a special coverage of what she’d been through during her usual time slot. And she’d told her not to _worry_ about the following week either, since she was finalizing the details on something already, for her time slot then as well.

She couldn’t even worry about whatever it was Alie was _planning_ on doing, she was just relieved to get two weeks of quasi-vacation time. She had so much to think about.  
  
Her friends had demanded to spend the night at her apartment, considering everything Clarke had gone through. They wanted to keep an eye on her. And Clarke usually hated to be babied, she was the one who usually did it to her friends more often, but this time she didn’t put up a fight. Clarke couldn’t remember the last time the three of them just hung out together.

She’d missed them and the comfort their friendship brought. She felt guilty for putting her goals and dreams ahead of them, for resenting Raven and not listening to Octavia. She was going to try and do better.  
  
First order of business for the night was a shower.

Clarke felt every cut and bruise so keenly now that her adrenaline was going back to normal, and hot water sounded like heaven. Not to mention she probably smelled. Clarke excused herself and left Raven and Octavia to their own devices.  

She groaned the minute she stepped into the stream of water. She hadn’t even waited for her old heater to warm up the water properly, but the lukewarm rivulets running down her back were more than enough for her to close her eyes and sigh. She washed away the past two days. (Clarke made a mental note to find out just how long they’d been trapped in there.) The water she stood on was tinted brown. Clarke washed herself twice before she was satisfied, rubbing her fingers against her palm in an effort to get rid of the grime beneath her nails.

Clarke felt like a new woman when she stepped out of the steam.  
  
She came back into the living room feeling clean, refreshed and starving, only to see her coffee table drowning in snacks and pizza. And drinks. Her friends had borrowed some clothes and were lounging on her couch scrolling through Netflix.  
  
Clarke took a moment to enjoy the sight in front of her before joining them.  
  
Sitting squished between them on the couch, there was no other place she’d rather be. Her mind apparently thought otherwise as it quickly _drifted_ to Lexa. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was okay. And then she couldn’t help but feel that righteous anger resurface, that feeling of...betrayal.

She still couldn’t believe Lexa did what she did and kept replaying the previous events over and over in her head. She blamed her for taking her choices away, she couldn’t not do it, but she also cared about her and she’d almost seen her die and it was frustrating as hell. Clarke didn’t know what to do.  
  
One thing she had to know was whether or not Lexa was alright and she figured if anyone knew, it was her friends who were dating the enemy, not the enemy, just Lexa’s team. She turned to look at them and they gazed back at her questioningly.  
  
“Can we help you with something, C?”  Raven asked. “You’re looking at us weird.”

“Cat got your tongue?” Octavia asked.

“No, I was just...I was wondering if Lexa was alright?” She looked down to avoid the inquisition she was sure to get.  
  
“From what Anya told me, she’s going to be okay,” Raven said. “She has to stay in the hospital overnight for observation since she lost blood, but that’s all I know right now,” Raven seeked to meet her eyes. “You did well, Clarke. You helped save her life.”  
  
“That’s good to know,” she said. Clarke internally breathed a sigh of relief hearing Lexa was going to okay. It was a weight off her shoulders. She felt guilty enough about their whole situation, it would have been a million times worse if Lexa had been hurt because of something she failed to do or did wrong. (Or maybe she just cared about Lexa.) “And I mean, I just did what anyone would do in that situation is all. No need to make it a big deal.”

“If you say so,” Octavia said, but she still eyed Clarke warily. “Are you sure that’s it?” She asked.

Clarke looked up at her. Maybe her poker face could use some work.

“Hey, we’re your friends,” Octavia reminded her. “You can tell us anything.”  
  
She knew she needed to confide in them about what Lexa did and get their opinion. She hoped it would help sort out her own confused thoughts. She knew her friends wouldn’t bullshit her and would tell her the truth even if she didn’t want to hear it. But Clarke was also afraid Raven would tell her she knew what Lexa had done, and she didn’t want to feel betrayed so soon after mending fences with her.

“I know I can,” she told them, then took a deep breath. “Did either of you know that Lexa tampered with the news truck?” She turned to look at them and saw surprise first and then realization dawning on their faces.

“You mean the day our truck-”

“Our truck wouldn’t start,” Clarke finished for Octavia. “And it didn’t because Lexa screwed with it.”

“What the fuck?” Octavia mouthed, and then turned to Raven. “Did you-”

“I didn’t,” Raven denied. “Why would she do that? Did she give you a reason?”  
  
“Yeah, she did. She said she was trying to save my life, that I would have gotten myself killed that day. That I’ve...” She made air quotes. “Been too reckless.”

“That’s none of her business,” Octavia said. “Not to say you weren’t being reckless, because you were, but who does she think she is? And that day-”

“That day we didn’t get anything, we would have if it wasn’t for her,” Clarke said. The anger she’d kept tampered down had begun to resurface again, and all she could think was how different things would be if Lexa hadn’t _done_ what she did.

“I wouldn’t have...you know, if she hadn’t done that.”

“Take one step back there, Clarke,” Raven said, holding up her hand. “What Lexa did was shitty, but she didn’t force you to do a shittier thing back.”

Clarke sighed.

“It’s not that she forced me to as much as she was taking my other choices away!” Clarke needed them to see that. “If she hadn’t fucked with my truck I would have had my own footage. I wouldn’t have needed to-”

“To steal,” Raven said. “Say it. It’s what you did, isn’t it?”

Clarke swallowed. Angry tears rose up to her eyes.

Octavia put her hand on Raven’s shoulder, silently telling her to stand down.

It was the _one_ thing she hadn’t missed about Raven. The woman had an innate ability to tell you your shit to your face, and she didn’t care how uncomfortable it was.

“I didn’t…want to,” Clarke hated how rough her voice sounded, how thick her throat felt.

“But you did,” Raven said. “And what Lexa did was shitty, whether she was trying to protect you or not. And I’ll talk to her. Because that’s on her. Just like what you did is on you, too. You can’t pin what you did on her and have that be your excuse.”

Clarke swallowed. She knew Raven was right to a point.

At the moment her truck breaking down had made her believe she had no other choices. Deep down Clarke blamed Lexa for that, but she didn’t have the strength to fight anymore.

“Can we talk about this later?” she asked, feeling weak. “I still feel like shit.”

Raven stared at her, and then gave in, nodding. Octavia eyed them warily before nodding as well.

They all sat back down, tabling the conversation for now. She tried not to think about Lexa. She failed. And then she made up her mind to go see her in the morning. It couldn’t get any _worse_ than how it was right now.

Clarke curled up on her couch like a dog licking its wounds while Octavia put on a movie. The opening credits hadn’t ended yet when her phone rang.

Her off-duty cell phone, the slightly more expensive, less sturdy one she kept on herself when she wasn’t working. Raven got up and handed it to her before she could even think about standing up. Clarke nodded in thanks.

And then she wished she’d never been handed the damn thing when the first thing she heard was a scream, after answering without looking.

“Clarke! How could you not tell me what happened?!”

She winced.

“Mom.”

Raven and Octavia looked at each other, and then simultaneously stood up and made their way into the kitchen.

Deserters.

“Clarke, are you hurt? You never answer my calls! I thought you were just busy, as usual! And then I-” She blew her nose, and Clarke felt a pang in her chest. “And then I find out through Facebook that my only daughter had disappeared in the middle of a tornado and had just been found!”

“I’m sorry mom, I didn’t get cell reception down there.”

“Clarke! Do you think I’m joking? You’re my only child!”

“Mom, I’m sorry. I don’t...I don’t know why no one called you,” Clarke told her. She’d forgotten. She’d really forgotten. What kind of shitty daughter forgets to tell her mom she’s not dead? Then again, her mom hadn’t known she’d been in danger in the first place. “I just got home from the hospital,” she said. That was more or less true.

“And are you okay? I can take some time off-”

“No. No mom, I’m fine. Really,” she said trying to placate her. “I’m fine. It was _nothing_.”

“Nothing? Clarke, have you looked online? People thought you were dead. They said you and the girl from National Geographic were missing.”

The internet had been the last thing on Clarke’s mind. She shook her head before realizing her mom couldn’t see her. God, she needed to rest.

“We were okay,” she told her. “I’m okay. Really. I’m sorry.”

“Oh baby, you don’t have to apologize. I’m just worried about you.”

It’d been awhile since she heard such tenderness in her mom’s voice. Clarke didn’t know what to say.

“You should get some sleep,” her mom said. “I’ll call you tomorrow to see how you are? Okay? Is Octavia with you?”

“Yeah, she’s here. And so is Raven.”

“Raven? Well, that’s great. Please rest honey.-” she heard a cry in the background, and quickly realized her mom was probably on call at the hospital. Of course. “I’ve got to go, I’ll talk to you soon. I love you, Clarke.”

“I...me too, mom.”

The line went dead.

She stared at her cellphone, only noticing then the hundreds of notifications she had across all social media.

“What did your mom say?” Octavia asked.

“She’s worried about me, she loves me, the usual,” She waved it away. “What has been going on?” she asked. She opened her Twitter app, waiting for her phone to load her timeline.

“With what?” Raven asked.

“With this,” Clarke told her, holding her phone up for her to see.

“Oh. That,” Raven laughed. “You’re kind of national heroes, you and Lexa. Or at least, on this side of the country.”

Clarke stared back at her phone, her Twitter follower count a solid thousand followers bigger than it’d been last time she checked. She had no idea how much she’d missed being in that bunker.

-=-

Lexa _vowed_ to never spend another night in a hospital if she could help it.

She barely slept with nurses coming in and checking on her constantly, and the beeping of the monitor behind her was enough to drive her crazy. She’d removed the annoying little tube blowing air into her nose two hours into the ordeal.

She was happy to be alive, but she wanted _some_ damn sleep.

Lexa looked down and stared at the cast on her leg. She needed some sleep, especially after the eventful past couple of days.  She couldn’t believe it when the doctor told her her leg was fractured. A hairline fracture, as it was, but it _still_ a fracture. A huge setback. She would have to sit out until it came off, which wouldn’t be for at least a few weeks.

How would she run on her leg? (The doctor answered that one for her. No running. No putting weight on her leg if possible.) Lexa cringed to think of her sitting in front of a storm, but far away from the action. She knew her team would get footage and she could only appear out of their office, but she couldn’t imagine doing nothing worthwhile while her leg healed.

Groaning in frustration, Lexa almost missed the quiet knock on the door.

She rubbed her hands over her face, assuming it was a nurse.

“Come in,” she said. At least this one knew how to knock.

Her eyes were closed behind her palms. She expected them to check her vitals like before, or to feel a cold hand somewhere on her body. But nothing came. Still, she could feel the person standing right inside the door. Lexa could feel their eyes on her.

Opening her eyes, she tried to mask her shock at seeing Clarke hovering in the doorway. She didn’t _think_ she’d see the blonde again for a while after the bunker.

They stared at each other for a moment before Clarke found her voice.  
  
“How are you? How’s the leg?” Clarke asked. Lexa saw concern in her gaze. It brought her back to their time in the bunker, to Clarke’s face when she refused to leave her even with the tornado coming.

She didn’t want to think about it  
  
“I’ve been better. It’s fractured,” She lightly smacked the cast in disgust. She knew she shouldn’t be upset, she would rather be alive with a cast than not at all -but she still hated feeling incapacitated.  
  
“I didn’t realize it was that bad,” Clarke looked apologetic.

“Neither did I,” she said. And really, she hadn’t. It had hurt, sure, but she hadn’t thought about a bone being broken. Maybe it was the adrenaline.

“Sorry,” Clarke told her. Lexa frowned. “I mean, I gave you first aid,” Clarke explained. “I should've probably immobilized it or something-”

“Not your fault,” Lexa told her. “Considering the situation we were in. Plus, it’s not like you have x-ray vision or anything,” Clarke looked genuinely guilty, and Lexa wasn’t sure if it was about her leg still or not. Lexa sat up. “What are you doing here, Clarke?”  
  
“Can’t I just visit?” Clarke asked. “Or are you going to kick me out?”

“Why are you here?” She repeated. She’d never taken well to a _challenge_ , especially when it came from Clarke. Lexa was tired and hurt, and getting more annoyed by the second. The way her stomach had swooped when she noticed Clarke at the door did not help.

“Why did you do it?” Clarke asked. Her expression changed in a second. Anger seemed to seep into her features just as easily as concern had a second before.  
  
“”Your truck?” Lexa ask, deflating. For a split second, she actually thought Clarke was worried and came to check on her. But that wasn’t all there was to it.  
  
Clarke nodded, folding her arms across her chest and leaning against the doorjamb.  
  
“I was trying to protect you,”  Lexa said. “I told you before-“  
  
“That wasn’t your call to make,” Clarke snapped. She ran a hand through her hair, sighing. “Look, we’ve both done things, can’t we just let it go?”

Lexa bristled up at that. She was thankful, yes, but that didn’t erase the fact that Clarke had stolen from her.

“I tried to save your life,” she said firmly. “You stole to protect your own ass. Those are completely different!”  
  
“Lex-“ Clarke was interrupted when the door opened and almost hit Clarke, but she stumbled back in time.  
  
“Is there a problem here?” A nurse asked, bustling into the room.  
  
“No,” Lexa answered. “She was just leaving.”

Clarke looked at her incredulously, but nodded and  left without a word. Lexa watched her go with a mix of _emotions_ stirring in her chest, and completely ignored the nurse who was talking to her.  
  
“Do I need to call security?” She asked, watching her for a moment in concern. She was older, at least in her sixties.  
  
Lexa shook her head. “No, that isn’t necessary.”

The nurse shrugged. “Trouble in paradise?” she asked, walking towards her bed.

“Wha-what?” Lexa stuttered.

“Word of advice, when a fight reaches yelling, it’s best to leave it for another day. Learned that one with my husband,” She patted her shoulder. “Whatever it is, I’m sure your girlfriend will come around.”

Lexa let out a chuckle. She couldn’t believe the nurse thought that she and Clarke were together. She didn’t know how she came to that conclusion. It was laughable considering what had happened between them.  
  
“No, we…no, we’re not together. We can’t stand each other,” Lexa said with as much conviction as she could muster. She wasn’t sure if she was trying to prove that to the nurse or to herself.

“Oh. My apologies. It’s just, my son watches your show. He went a bit crazy when I told him we were looking after you. And well, I read online...nevermind.”

Lexa frowned.

The nurse finished checking her vitals. “The doctor will be in to see you shortly and then we can see about getting you out of here,” She left, but not without a smile directed back at her.  
  
She didn’t expect the nurse to throw her two cents into the mix. Furthermore, she had no clue what the hell she was talking about. Lexa looked around, and then reached for her phone. Even though she’d rather not, she checked her social media accounts.  
  
Lexa was bombarded with notifications.

She guessed it was to be expected, considering everything that had transpired in the last two days, but Lexa wasn’t prepared for the sheer...volume, of tweets and pictures and what not.

She decided to start from the beginning.

Apparently they thought she was dead at first. She saw a few tweets with #RIP hashtags, and others asking people to trust Anya’s words. Lexa wondered what those were, but how it usually was with social media, she saw plenty of people talking about them, but no one actually quoting the original.

She saw a few tweets about Clarke, then a few more about her and Clarke being missing, together. That last part caused quite the frenzy. She was shocked to say the least. And then the more recent things. _‘Stormchaser power couple Clexa survive tornado_.’ God, they even had one of those couple portmanteaus.

‘Clarke and Lexa were trapped together, but are reportedly recovering now.’ It went on and on. New notifications kept popping up, and Lexa finally just put her phone down. She didn’t know what to do or think about it, she didn’t expect their escapade in the bunker to have this kind of effect -or any effect at all. But apparently, the fans loved it.

She wondered if Clarke knew about it at all.

Clarke. She still had no clue what to do about her, what to feel. If she could even _control_ her feelings at all. One thing was for certain, she needed to talk to her even though she’d rather not. Lexa never shied away from things, and before with Clarke, she had done exactly that.

Clarke had saved her life. She probably deserved for Lexa to hear her out.

 _I’ll call her when I get released_ , she thought, before realizing she didn’t actually have Clarke’s number. Lexa leaned back. She was going to have to ask Raven for it. She decided she’d bite the bullet and suffer the teasing that was sure to be attached.  
  
Maybe she and Clarke could settle their shit once and for all. Highly doubtful, but it might be _worth_ a shot.

-=-

Getting a call from Lexa threw her after the way they _left_ things in the hospital.

Clarke hadn’t expected to hear from the brunette, and definitely didn’t expect Lexa to ask her to meet. Clarke agreed. Did she even have a choice? (She’d wanted to talk to her that morning, but when it was Lexa setting the dominos she balked. She didn’t know what was waiting for her. With Lexa, she never quite did.)

She made sure to get to the bar early as she had learned Lexa was a stickler for being prompt.

Clarke walked in ten minutes earlier than what Lexa had said, and was not the least surprised to see Lexa already waiting in a booth in the corner. It happened to be the same booth where they had first hung out and started to become friends _before_ she blew it.

She wondered if there was _significance_ to her choice or not.

She took a long look at her before Lexa noticed her presence. She looked good, really good. So much better than the last time they’d seen each other at the hospital, and miles away from the time before that. Cold and hurt. Clarke never wanted to see that again, and she wished the images would fade from her mind.

Clarke took a deep breath before walking over to her. She waved to the bartender before sitting down opposite of Lexa. (She was going to need a drink.)

“Hey,” Clarke said, trying not to stare too hard. The past few days still felt surreal. Had they really cuddled half naked to fight off the cold? Had Lexa really fucked with her truck that god-awful day?

“Hi,” Lexa said with her arms crossed. “Thanks for meeting me.”

“I honestly didn’t expect your call,” Clarke said. She never could resist poking at a bruise, or pointing out the obvious.

“We didn’t finish our conversation before we were rescued,” Lexa said. “I thought we should now.”

It’s what she tried to do at the hospital, Clarke thought, but didn’t say. She’s not sure bringing on a confrontation earlier than needed would be any good. Clarke knew Lexa would get straight to the point and not worry about small talk. She was never one to beat around the bush. And so Clarke took a second as she wanted this to be a civil conversation, not an all out war.

“Very well,” she said. “What do you want to talk about first? What you did to my truck?”

Lexa looked at her sternly, her mask unbroken. “I tried to save your life.”

“What you did was a crime,” Clarke said. Maybe there was no avoiding a fight, not when Lexa wouldn’t let go of the excuse she was holding on to so tightly.

“Had the truck started, you would have been gone on your suicide mission,” Lexa told her. “Had I not interfered as you keep putting it, there’s a high probability you wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

Clarke thought about the wind that day, about the violent force of nature that attracted her like a siren call. If she wanted to walk into it.

That was _her_ choice to make.

“And who gave you the right to make that call?” She asked Lexa.

“Maybe you think I had no right and maybe you’re correct,” Lexa said. “But I couldn’t stand there and not do anything. You had this look in your eye that I’d never seen before. Yeah, you’re usually reckless, and stubborn, and dangerous. But this was on a whole other level.”

Clarke swallowed.

“It’s still a crime.”

“I looked it up and-”

“Of course you did,” Clarke muttered.

“What I did could be classified as a misdemeanor, but yours on the other hand can not,” Lexa said.

Clarke rolled her eyes.

She leveled her with a look and huffed out a laugh. “So what do you want to do? Have us go to court and balance what we did on a scale, see who comes out on top? Because you tampered with someone’s life while all I did was take s-”

“No.”

“What?”

“About court. I don't know what I'm gonna do.”

Clarke paused. “You don't? You said it was crime and -”

“And it is, but Octavia would pay too, and you’d both lose your jobs, and...and I shouldn't care about that, right? I shouldn't care about what happens to you and I shouldn't feel guilty. And yet-”

Clarke stared at her, at the set of her frown and the clear pools that were her eyes. Lexa was being honest. Lexa seemed...concerned. Was it _because_ of her?

“And yet?” She prompted.

Lexa shook her head.

But Clarke heard what she wasn’t saying and felt a flutter in her chest. Lexa still cared, even after everything. She still had the capacity to care -about her, about her team. Did that mean she could forgive her to? Did it extend that far? She thought it was a possibility and she almost smiled. It was next to impossible to stay mad at Lexa when she looked so vulnerable.

Sitting in front of her, Clarke saw the same Lexa she got to know in the bunker, the one that _hardly_ anyone else saw.

She wondered what Lexa saw when she looked at her. Was a thief all she was in Lexa's eyes? A former...friend? Was that what they’d been on the road to becoming? Something more? Clarke didn’t know. She honestly didn’t even know what she would see if she looked at herself in the mirror.

Clarke knew that no one had forced her to steal. She knew that was on her. But at the time her desperation had made it seem like not such a big deal. Just a few seconds of footage. If Lexa wasn’t seeing the TV then no one would know. At the time, it had seemed simple. She hadn’t realized what a quickly spiraling mistake it had been. She did now, thoroughly.  

And Clarke saw her own actions in a different light.

She remembered that sharp sting of fear in Octavia’s face when she planned on getting closer to the tornado that day, remembered the adrenaline running like lightning through her veins and pushing her forward. And then she thought about what Lexa did.

In a brief moment of clarity, Clarke _understood_ two things.

That it hadn’t been Lexa’s place, and Octavia probably had it under control, but Lexa did what she did out of concern for her, and Clarke couldn’t fault her for that.

And that no one had _forced_ her to steal from Lexa.  

“I’m not going to report what you did,” Clarke told her. “That would be pretty hypocritical of me if I did. And I also know that....I can’t blame you for my choices, no matter how much I wish I could. You had a hand in it, yes, but you didn’t _make_ me do anything,” Clarke paused. “I only ask that you don’t butt in next time. That is...if there is even a next time.”

“That was unexpected,” Lexa mentioned. “I didn’t think you’d be...” Lexa seemed to choose her next words carefully. “Rational. Calm. You were pissed at the hospital, not to mention the bunker.”

“Still am,” Clarke butted in. “But I know when to stand down.”

“Gotta say, you never striked me as someone who’d just lay down, Griffin,” Lexa joked.

“Well, I’m full of surprises,” Clarke told her.

Lexa became somber suddenly. “I’m sorry about what I did to your truck,” she said. “But I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t do it again, if I thought you were at risk. I mean-it’s what I’d do for anyone.”

Clarke felt a flutter in her gut, and she hated it, as she was angry with her. It wasn’t her place. But Lexa cared.

“I’m on the verge of losing my job if I haven’t already. It would be pointless to keep fighting with you now,” Clarke rubbed her hands across her face.

“I’m sorry about your job, Clarke. Your boss sounds awful. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”

“Thank you,” she said. There was nothing to add to that. No number of wishes would _change_ her current situation of change Alie’s personality. Clarke wanted to change the subject for now. “So, um. Have you seen Twitter or Facebook lately? I’ve read some crazy theories about our-” Clarke did air quotes with her fingers- ‘time away’. I couldn’t believe some of them.”

Lexa smiled, and a blush tinted her cheeks. “Like what?”

“Like how it all was all a ploy from our respective shows to get more viewers.”

Lexa nodded.

“Oh, and there was this one guy in Ohio who speculated I’d murdered you and used the tornado to cover it up.”

Lexa let out a full belly laugh and Clarke found herself distracted by the sound. She wanted to hear it over and over again. (Being around Lexa gave her whiplash.)

“I’ve seen a few others,” Lexa said, oddly shy. “Did you know some people are, uh, calling us ‘Clexa’? Apparently they’re shipping us as a couple now,” Lexa pulled out her phone and read the most recent one. “Here it is. ‘This is how a Stormchaser power couple survives tornado’.”

Clarke looked at her phone, seeing the tweet accompanied by pictures of her and Lexa walking out of the hospital. She had no idea those had even been taken.

Clarke was surprised. She knew that Lexa was well known and her fans would be freaking out, but she didn’t realize that she would be dragged into it. She was nowhere near as popular as her. Part of her honestly loved it because she was finally getting recognized, but another part of her hated it as it was in conjecture with Lexa. (A third part of her, that she desperately tried to quiet, wasn’t entirely displeased that some people thought she was dating Lexa. That part of her wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea, either.)

Still, Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if the rumors Lexa had just shown her were the only reason her mentions and notifications blew up, and not solely because of the whole ‘surviving a tornado’ thing. She was still envious of Lexa, but she knew that Lexa earned it and Clarke hadn’t yet. It all hinged on Lexa whether she would ever get to.

“You got to love their dedication,” Clarke said, once Lexa put her phone away. “So we’re a couple, how did they figure that?” She paused for a moment. “That would be quite the story now, wouldn’t it?”

She swore she saw Lexa blush. “You know how fans can get, they’ll say whatever they want too.”

Clarke actually didn’t have enough fans to know, but she let it pass.

“You know how social media works,” Lexa continued. “One tweet and the whole world knows something in a few hours,” An odd smile appeared on her face. “Apparently they think we would make a good couple.”

“I think we’d make a great couple,” Clarke piped up, and then internally winced at her words. “I mean. We would make an interesting couple,” she tried to salvage it. “I think we would balance each other out,” Clarke tried not blush thinking about it. She wouldn’t be opposed to that as much as she originally thought. Still, it was odd to discuss even if it was in the context of Lexa’s fans wanting them together.

“Yeah, I mean. We would. Probably.” They locked eyes and Clarke saw the honesty in them and dare she believe it, the want. She looked down breaking the eye contact. She was saved from further awkwardness as Lexa's phone stared ringing. 

Lexa looked up at her again, apologetic. “I need to get this.”

Clarke nodded. Lexa answered the call, and a minute and a few nods later she was putting her phone away, before standing up and reaching for her crutches. Clarke immediately got up to help. “You have to go, I take it.”

“Yeah, I do. I’ll...I’ll see you around?” It sounded more like a question than a request, but Clarke nodded either way.  

“See you.”

Lexa hobbled unsteadily out of the bar. Clarke didn’t know if this would be considered a good meeting or not. Before she could ponder it further, her phone rang too. It was Alie. She sighed loudly before answering it. Clarke listened intently before heading towards the station at her boss' request.

What else could _possibly_ go wrong today? She was about to find out.

-=-

Lexa didn’t want to run out on Clarke, but a call from her boss -who hardly ever called- took precedence. He had a history of only making calls when a show was cancelled or someone was in a bad spot with ratings, public opinion or both. Lexa had never gotten a call. Until now. So of course she had to leave things with Clarke hanging.

She knew the conversation wasn’t finished and she didn’t leave on the best note, but there was nothing she could do.

She’d taken an Uber back to her apartment, and now waited for Anya to pick her up as her boss had requested a meeting during that call. Instead of heading up to her apartment, though, she sat down on the steps outside and thought back to the bar.

The conversation with Clarke hadn’t gone at all like she thought it would. She thought Clarke would rage at her for her part like she had in the bunker, like she had in the hospital, but she hadn’t. She was calm and collected for the most part. They had a mostly civil conversation where they both let the other talk. If it wasn’t for all the baggage between them at the moment, Lexa _would_ say it was nice just talking to Clarke and being in her presence.  
  
Despite everything that happened and the new information she learned, she didn’t fault Clarke for being tempted. In fact, Clarke had earned back some of her respect after telling her she wouldn’t accept.

Lexa, too, couldn’t help but wonder if the offer of her own show following so closely on the heels of Clarke using her stolen footage was a coincidence. There was no way that anyone at the station _knew_ it was her footage. From what the blonde had said about her boss though, it wouldn’t surprise her if she had figured it out and turned a blind eye.  
  
All the woman seemed to care about was ratings, no matter the personal effect it had on her employees; mainly, Clarke. From the things she heard about Alie, Lexa found herself thinking back to her time in the system.

Clarke’s description reminded her of Nia, one of the foster 'mom’s' who headed their group home at times. She always came around in the winter, when Mr. and Mrs.Black, their usual caretakers, left to be with their actual families for the holidays. Nia, on the other hand, brought her family with her. She had a daughter, Ontari, who would move into the home while Nia did. Space was scarce, and Lexa had never shared hers with less than 3 other kids, but Ontari always got her own room.

Nia wasn’t a good person. She fostered them for the money and she never made that a secret. After all, she treated them like shit. She had heard horror stories from some other kids, who Nia had actually fostered in her home, until Ontari was old enough to complain about it.

Nia was cruel in the way a cat is cruel when it plays with a mouse before eating it. It was her nature.

She wouldn’t let them forget they were foster kids. She’d dote on her daughter like she was a princess, even when she acted like the furthest thing from that. When she would beat up the other kids, and pick fights with the little ones, Nia would look away. The one time she was questioned, her answer was that kids played rough.

Lexa had hated that woman, and luckily for both her and Anya, they never fell into her bad graces. She remembered feeling relieved when she died suddenly. No one really cared. In fact, it was a day of celebration for a lot of them. A bunch of poor foster kids being free from the reign of the Ice Queen, as they’d called her.

Lexa saw Anya pull up and wave, and she shook herself of the thoughts on her past. Lexa saw Anys getting out of the car to help, but she shook her head and made her way slowly to the car and got in.

“How are you feeling?” Anya asked, pulling back onto the road.

“It hurts. I have to wear this stupid thing for at least month.”

Anya nodded in sympathy.  
  
“I’ll be sidelined for the duration of this. I’m assuming that’s why he wants to meet.”

“I have no idea, honestly.”

“I wonder what this is all about,” Lexa really was curious why her boss wanted to meet, she hoped he hadn’t found out about the footage as she hadn’t decided what she was going to do, but she knew if anybody else found out like her boss, they wouldn’t hesitate to press charges. Lexa wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted anymore.

“You could be patient and wait until we get there,” Anya teased. “I don’t get why you’re so nervous to meet the boss, anyway. He loves you. You have nothing to worry about.”

Lexa crossed her arms. “I’m not worried. I’m curious.”

Anya laughed. “You know what they say, Lex, curiosity killed the cat.”

Lexa tried not to crack a smile, but failed. "But satisfaction brought it back," she added, smiling. "You always seem to forget that part of the saying."

The rest of the drive consisted of small talk until they arrived at their destination. Lexa’s nerves starting to get the better of her as she sat, waiting for Anya to park. She had only spoken to Mr. Kane a handful of times and he’d never requested a meeting like this. She didn’t know what it was about, the situation to blame her nervous anticipation on.

But she was about to find out.

The meeting wasn’t at all what she expected. If Lexa had been _given_ the choice, she would have refused, but it had been made perfectly clear that she couldn’t. She wanted time away from Clarke, to think clearly, not to be pushed towards her.

One thing was sure, though -Lexa _really_ disliked her fans at the moment.

-=-

Clarke paced up and down the hallway waiting for Lexa.  

It had been only a few hours after her meeting with Alie, where her boss had explained what was going on and what was expected of her. She didn’t know how she got roped into this, but she wasn’t really given a choice. Clarke wondered if Lexa had been _given_ one.

She knew once Lexa heard, she probably wouldn’t be happy at all. She’d seemed amused by the whole thing earlier, but Clarke didn’t know how she’d actually react, or how Alie had gotten her to accept coming over to their studios at all. It was basically charity for her.

Clarke stopped her pacing when she saw brunette hair from the corner of her eye. She raised her head slowly and met the green eyes she couldn’t stop thinking about, belonging to the woman who -good or bad- was constantly on her mind. A small smile graced her lips. She saw Lexa return it before her usual business mask fell back into place.

 _Great_ , she thought. She’d be dealing with the Commander and not Lexa in there.

She looked away from her face, and for the first time noticed what she was wearing. She was thankful her jaw didn’t visibly drop. She had never seen Lexa in a dress before. A tight laced, dark green dress hugged her every curve. She had her hair down, curled and falling over her left shoulder like a waterfall. Black heels made her legs seem to go on for miles. (She didn’t know Lexa had legs like _that_.)  A sensible clutch complimented the outfit.

She was gorgeous.

Clarke looked down at her own dress, a blue dress that flared at her legs, but was tight fitting across her chest and stomach. She wore silver heels and her hair down in waves. They almost...matched.

She looked back at Lexa. Clarke thought for a second that the other woman might be checking her out, but she couldn’t tell for sure. She thought she looked good, but Lexa...she looked downright sinful. She bit her lip and discreetly gave her a once over again. And then again.

How could she not?

She looked away only when she saw Lexa approach.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, swallowing. Clarke smiled. Maybe she _wasn’t_ the only one affected.

“Lexa,” Clarke inclined her head. “I…”

Alie came out in the hall looking back and forth between them. She ignored Clarke and went straight to Lexa and introduced herself. She saw Lexa’s eyes flick to hers before inclining her head and smiling slightly. Clarke couldn’t help but notice the set of her jaw and hand clenched at her side. She was uncomfortable and Clarke wasn’t sure if it was because of what she’d told her about Alie or something else.

Then again, this would probably make anyone uncomfortable, even a seasoned professional like Lexa.

“So, are you both ready?” Alie asked, paying attention to Clarke now too.

Clarke nodded, while Lexa told her ‘yes’.

They followed Alie into the studio.

-=-

Clarke had _never_ given an interview like this before.

She’d never given an interview, period. Even when she was just a weather girl, she never had to talk about herself. Beyond making the odd quirky joke or giving people her name, it wasn’t in her job description. And as a stormchaser, all she talked about were tornadoes, mostly and the occasional storm. The far more dangerous complexities of a human being never came into the conversation.

“We are here with the women who made headlines just a few days ago. As you all know, Lexa Forrest and Clarke Griffin are stormchasers by profession, and on the past 14th of….”

Clarke tuned the anchor’s words out. She’d been told the interviewer was just going to give a short summary of what had happened, they would run some footage of Clarke and Lexa’s rescue (taken at the hospital, and again, Clarke had no idea when that had happened). Still, she sees herself in the screens, walking out of the hospital with Octavia and Raven. She sees Lexa smiling from her hospital bed, showing off her cast.

“A video I sent my dad,” Lexa whispers, just for her ears. Clarke nods.

Then there’s footage of the street near the house they were trapped in. Then, a video of the bunker. Alie must have been really into this interview if she sent someone out there to cover it. From the screens, it looked a lot smaller than Clarke remembered it.

She hasn’t thought much about it. With the footage she took and the possible consequences from that, with Lexa on her mind, things with Raven- Clarke hadn’t given a second thought to the fact that she was trapped in an enclosed space with Lexa for two days. She probably should. Just the video gives her a sense of claustrophobia.

“It’s a part of the job,” Lexa says suddenly, and Clarke realizes the screens are blank. Lexa is apparently answering a question. “Researching severe weather conditions isn’t without its risks, which is something -and I think I speak for both of us- that we’ve always known. We’re very fortunate that things went well, and that would never have happened if we weren’t professionals. So I must reiterate for everyone at home, do not attempt to approach a tornado or any other sort of phenomena. It’s not worth it to get hurt or to lose your life just for a picture.”

“Wise words,” the interviews says. “But it wasn’t just fortune, was it?” She turned toward the cameras. “Our team spoke to Miss Forrest earlier this afternoon, and she told us what happened right before they became trapped in the bunker we’ve shown you.”

And then her eyes were on Clarke.

“Can you tell us what happened?” she asks, and Clarke is blank. She knows what happened, how the car turned sideways and Lexa’s leg was trapped, but she doesn’t know _how_ to say it out loud. The lights of the studio were hot on her skin, blinding and uncomfortable.

“Lexa here told us she became trapped,” the interviewer clarifies, begging Clarke with her eyes to go on. “That you risked your life to save her,” the woman added, her eyes trained on her. Clarke could feel the eyes of every person on the set, Lexa’s eyes, even, somehow, the eyes of the audience. She was out of her depth.

She _had_ to say something.

Clarke looked up at the audience, then at the interviewer, and then her eyes found Lexa’s. She had to say something, so she settled for what came the most natural -the absolute truth.  _You risked your life to save her_ , the interviewer had pointed out.

“And I’d do it again,” Clarke said, looking straight at Lexa, "In a heartbeat."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. anddirtyrain has been super busy with school, but hopefully we will be back on track now.
> 
> Enjoy

* * *

Her name _was_ everywhere.  
  
Raven had said they were something like ‘national heroes’ on this side of the country before, but that was before their joint interview went viral. Now, there was nothing she could do to stop the avalanche of attention she was receiving. Clarke found it odd that a part of her wished she could.  
  
She wanted to be a well-known stormchaser, but not this way. Not based off of an accident she survived, and certainly not because of Lexa. She honestly had no idea the exposure she would be subjected to after being linked to her. Either Lexa was more famous than she’d originally thought or them together had caused quite the intrigue. Clarke figured it was a mixture of both as the fans adored them for some odd reason.  
  
A quick look at her social media accounts let her know she had thousands more followers since the interview had aired. Her social media accounts were constantly bombarded with questions about her and Lexa, and Clarke had become used to seeing the moniker the fans had come up with to refer to the both of them. Clexa, as it was. Clarke laughed at the name that the fans had made for them, but at the same time she blushed. What had Raven called it? Shipping. People actually shipped them, as in, hoped they would hook up.  
  
For a moment, Clarke couldn’t help but wish that things could be different, that things like that could be true. Her _reality_. But she knew it was nothing, but wishful thinking, they were friends...barely. And truth be told neither one of them could trust the other, and you couldn’t build a solid relationship on such a rocky foundation.  
  
She shook her head, and distracted herself with social media. (Not much had changed since high school on that front.) She scrolled through her Twitter timeline only to see some...new interesting things. She’d always made it a point to follow people who genuinely seemed to enjoy her segment, but she wouldn’t have called them fans of her...until now. There were creative hashtags, and pictures of her -and Lexa. There were even some pictures that were obviously photoshopped of them together from the interview.  
  
Clarke tilted her head, staring at one. She could admit that they looked really good together.  
  
Alie would agree. When her boss had seen the reviews, she had been downright giddy. And it seemed to have helped relieve some pressure off of her, ever since, but Clarke still didn’t trust her. Thinking back on it, she did remember her saying something along the lines of ‘finalizing things’, but Clarke hadn’t questioned it then. Maybe she should have.

Who _knew_ what Alie was up too.  
  
Her phone buzzed again, bringing her back to the present. Her newfound 'fame' was a bit of headache. She was trying to navigate her way through the constant inflow of notifications and it was unnerving how much it felt like she was failing at it, drowning in a sea of posts and tweets.  Clarke had a newfound respect for Lexa if this was how her fans were usually. Clarke didn’t know how she handled it with such grace and poise and never seemed to get flustered. Even during the interview, she went through it like a pro, her voice never shaking despite the very real horror they both had survived.  
  
The only time Clarke saw her flustered was when she had looked Lexa in the eye after saying she would _risk_ her life again to save her if given the choice.  
  
The look she was given in return had been more than she ever dreamed possible in regards to Lexa. But Clarke knew that it was just an honest reaction to what she’d said, nothing more. Anyone would be thankful for someone else saying those words, and meaning them. And from the little Clarke knew about her, she knew Lexa didn’t have a lot of people who would do that for her. The only people she knew that would, would be her dad and Anya. She’s sure she could add Raven to that list, maybe the rest of her crew. But it was still a small circle to have as one’s only support system on this earth.  
  
Clarke hoped Lexa knew that she included herself there, regardless of everything that had transpired between them. For Lexa, she’d risk it time and time again. And she couldn’t point out why, wasn’t ready to, apart from respect and admiration and just this side of feelings. But she knew that Lexa was worth it.  
  
Clarke walked out of her apartment and sighed as the heat of the sun hit her face.  
  
She’d been cooped up for a couple days, ever since the interview. She was going a little stir crazy and figured some fresh air would do her good, not to mention she also needed to go grocery shopping or else she’d starve. And Clarke really enjoyed her food. So she’d sighed and grabbed her wallet, knowing it was futile to resist the call of a good meal.  
  
She’d hoped the store would be a quick trip, but alas the universe had other plans.  
  
She might have been seeing things, but her heart nearly stopped when she saw brunette hair a few aisles over, not ten minutes after walking into the store. Clarke didn’t know if it was Lexa, of course, after all this was a huge city -brunette curls were probably the most common, too- but she didn’t want to take the chance. After all, Lexa had requested time away and she was giving it to her.  
  
She stopped walking before immediately turning around, only to ram her cart right into someone else’s. She mumbled an apology and tried to maneuver around, but she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.  
  
“I know you,” The guy said, not so subtly raking his eyes up and down her body. Clarke usually liked the attention, but right this second, with this random guy, it made her uncomfortable.  
  
“No, I’m sorry,” She met his eyes, and they were a light green, but not the kind of green she found herself mesmerized by or the deep, rich green of Lexa’s… She snapped her train of thought with a shake of her head.  
  
“You’re the chick that chases the tornadoes. I thought it was you,” The guy smiled knowingly. “You’re amazing. I never thought I’d get the chance to meet you in person,” He reached his hand out. “I’m Jason, it’s so nice to meet you.”  
  
Clarke shook his hand, even though she’d rather not. She was already on edge over Lexa, and all she wanted was to finish her shopping and get home, but it wouldn’t bode well to antagonize her fans. Apparently, she had _way_ more of those now.  
  
“Clarke. I take it you’re a fan?”  
  
“Number one fan, that’s for sure. You’re so much better than that other girl, what’s her name?” He scratched his head. Clarke thought he looked like an idiot and had to bite her lip to keep it from spilling out.  
  
“Lexa,” she provided. “And I don’t know, I think she’s a better stormchaser than me, actually. But thank you for your support. It’s appreciated.”  
  
Clarke really couldn’t wait to get home. This guy was starting to get on her nerves, and his ogling had crossed the line from flattering into straight up uncomfortable. She got bad vibes from him.  
  
To her dismay, the guy kept talking, it was like he loved to hear himself talk. He even had the audacity to put a hand on shoulder. He stepped closer. “You’re even more beautiful in person.”  
  
"Thank you," she stuttered out.  
  
Clarke tried to take a step back, but his grip tightened slightly before releasing. Clarke smiled nervously, but the guy took as an invitation to step even closer.  
  
“Would you like to go on a date with me?” Jason asked, rubbing his hand down her arm before she pulled it away.  
  
“No, I wouldn’t," she said, dumbfounded at the direction the conversation had taken. "I’m- I'm seeing someone.” Clarke knew it was a lie, but she needed him to back off.  
  
“Oh, so you're really with that other chick. I thought it was all publicity. I should have known a gorgeous woman like you would be taken."  
  
Clarke didn't quite know what to say to that. A few years out of college and she'd forgotten how to deal with creeps, apparently.  
  
"Clarke!" A familiar voice came from behind her, and the guy's eyebrows shot up.  
  
"The girlfriend's here," he said, all but confirming that Lexa was behind her. "Well, if you ever break up, here’s my card,” He leaned in as if to kiss her cheek, but after taking a look at Lexa he stepped back and walked away. Clarke couldn’t believe the nerve of the guy.  
  
She turned around to meet Lexa's eyes, feeling like she wanted to take a shower.  
  
"You okay?" Lexa asked. "That looked..."  
  
"No, yeah. I'm okay."  
  
Lexa nodded. "That's good."  
  
Lexa turned and crutched away quickly, too fast for Clarke to get her head on straight and express how thankful she felt.  She wanted to go after her, but also wanted to respect her request.  
  
Instead Clarke watched her go.

-=-

Lexa was doing her best not to sigh.

Having to be mostly confined to the side of the van in a chair drove her crazy. Anya had insisted she needed to stay close in case a repeat of the previous storm occurred. Only this time, Lexa wouldn’t be able to run and would severely incapacitate her team. She hated being an inconvenience, but it was her own choice to be here. She was told by her boss that she could have a few weeks off until her leg healed, but she'd adamantly refused.

Free time did not agree with Lexa.  
  
Anya wasn’t happy, but they came to an agreement that worked for both of them, even though neither were thrilled with it. Lexa knew Anya was just trying to look out for her, and while she appreciated it, it got to be too much sometimes. Lexa just wanted everything to go back to normal.

Well, almost everything. She sat up straight as she watched a certain blonde pull up to the curb.  
  
Clarke didn’t notice her when she jumped down from the truck, just went straight to setting up like usual. She waved politely to her team. Lexa saw Octavia skip over and give Lincoln a quick kiss. Lexa looked away.

She could admit to herself that what she felt in her gut was the familiar spark of envy. She missed the closeness of another person. She missed having someone to come home too, someone to cuddle up with at the end of the day, someone to love. She didn’t miss Costia, but she missed the intimacy of a relationship. She was sure though, that it was impossible with her current job. Her hours were too demanding, and no woman wanted to date someone who they weren't sure would make it home every night. She'd been sure of it, but watching Lincoln and Octavia gave her doubts. Doubts that she couldn't think about right now, because her mind went straight to _one_ particular woman who would understand, and Lexa couldn't focus on that.  
  
Lexa turned away, focusing on the storm from her seated position. She knew she couldn’t be completely involved in the footage this time, but she could at least take pictures. Anya had given her one of their high resolution cameras, and Lexa hoped taking a couple shots would distract her. She could hear the hustle and bustle of the two separate teams hurrying to get ready as the clouds were starting to lower. She watched in fascination as the funnel began to take shape and snapped rapid pictures without even realizing it. Not being involved in the tornado was a new experience. She would _never_ admit it out loud -and she'd die before admitting it to Anya- but just being a spectator was very enjoyable. She didn’t have to worry about anything other than watching the tornado and it was beautiful.

It was an interesting way to watch a storm unfold.  
  
Regardless of how mesmerizing it all was, Lexa couldn’t help but sneak glances every now and then at Clarke. She was truly in her element as much as she was. It was nice to see. Lexa watched her slowly turn her head side to side like she was looking for something. She turned around with her back facing the tornado and of course, walked backwards to get closer. Lexa shook her head, knowing there was no use saying anything. It looked like Clarke was really trying to respect her wishes and giving her some time which she was grateful for, and all she could do was return the favor. She only hoped Clarke would be safe. The storm didn’t last long, it was just a couple minutes before it dissipated and luckily their teams weren’t in its path this time.

Lexa _breathed_ a sigh of relief as she didn’t know if her heart could take another close call.

She'd enjoyed watching the storm, but a previous unknown thread of fear tightened itself around her throat when it picked up. She remembered keenly being trapped under the crushing weight of the car, and it unsettled her. As if Clarke was reading her mind, she looked over and their eyes locked briefly. Lexa shook her head, as if to say it didn't matter, that she was all right, Clarke nodded before she turned away quickly. Lexa noticed that their teams had been watching their silent exchange. She bit back a groan knowing she was going to hear it from Anya later, something about facing her problems and what not.  
  
Surprisingly, it was Raven who made her way towards her with Anya following closely on her heels. Lexa figured Raven would be going to Clarke after she’d heard they mended things. It made her feel good that Clarke followed through on what she said in the bunker.  
  
She watched Octavia and Lincoln go over to Clarke and saw her smile brightly before it morphed into a look of confusion before Clarke's eyes darted over to hers. She looked away quickly, but Lexa still felt a _flutter_ in her chest. She ignored it and focused on her friends standing in front of her.  
  
“Why aren’t you two talking?” Raven got straight to the point. “I thought the interview went well, so I’m confused.”  
  
Lexa groaned shooting a look at Anya who had her arms crossed, obviously curious as well. “Is there a rule that I have to speak with her every time?” She raised her eyebrows in a challenge, daring them to question her.  
  
Raven laughed. “Chill, commander, it was just a question. No need to get defensive,” Anya smiled at her girlfriend. Lexa almost rolled her eyes at the both of of them.  
  
“I’m merely saying that I do not have to speak with her when I see her. We both have other priorities that require our attention. That must come first.”

“Lex, relax,” Anya chided before slinging an arm across Raven’s shoulders in a familiar gesture.  
  
“Yeah, Lexa, that’s a very formal and elegant way to put it. Is everything okay?" Raven asked. "Well, considering everything. You both made mistakes, but after the interview I thought you'd both moved past it.”  
  
Lexa considered Raven’s words and knew she had a valid point.

"It’s not that easy. There is so much water under the bridge. I wouldn’t even know where to start,” Lexa sighed. “I’ll talk to her okay, just not right now. Please.”  
  
She heard mumbling when she rubbed her temples. “Okay, we’ll leave you to it. Just…don’t wait too long, okay?” Raven said before walking off.  
  
“She’s right, Lex. Clarke isn’t my favorite person, but whatever you decide just know that we as your team have your back.”  
  
“Thanks, Anya,” They hugged briefly, as neither were ones to show emotion. “You get the footage?”  
  
“Of course, what do you take me for?” Anya playfully glared.  
  
Lexa stifled a laugh. “Do you really want me to answer that?”  
  
“Why you little…” Anya started towards her, her sharp fingers at the ready. Lexa glared at her, in disbelief that she'd actually dared tickle her.   
  
“Ladies, we're ready to go," Lincoln announced. "We got everything packed up while you two were acting like little kids,” Lincoln towered over them, fighting back a smile. They both turned and scoffed at him. Lexa sat up straighter.

“I did no such thing,” She tried to keep a straight face, but a smile broke through. Anya smiled, and Lexa -she would deny it to her dying breath- squeaked when Anya poked her side. Lincoln just shook his head and walked over to the van. Lexa stood up, grabbing her crutches, but before she got in the van, she looked for Clarke. She wanted one last glimpse of the blonde before they left. She couldn’t help it.  
  
She caught a flash of blonde hair jumping into the truck before it peeled off. Lexa sighed in disappointment even though it was _her_ choice. She struggled to get in the van and missed blue eyes looking at her in the rearview mirror as a truck drove away.

-=-

Clarke was frustrated.

She didn’t know where she _stood_ with Lexa, she wondered what Alie had up her sleeve since she’d been particularly kind to Clarke ever since the accident, and last but not least her social media accounts were going completely nuts. She was tempted to delete all of them and be done with it. She knew that wasn’t actually an option as she would alienate her fans who normally she loved interacting with, but lately she couldn’t stand the endless influx of notifications and the higher-than-normal amount of dirty tweets she was tagged in.  
  
It wasn’t just the creepy guy at the store; all their tweets and comments about her and Lexa were just...getting to her. She could deal with an inappropriate comment or two, but that wasn’t what bothered her. She simply hated the constant reminder of what _would_ never be because of her mistake. It was like rubbing salt into an open wound -not to mention Clarke still didn’t know if Lexa was going to press charges or not.  
  
She didn’t mind that Lexa asked for space, she could understand that, but the waiting and anticipation was killing her. At their last storm, she’d kept her distance, not wanting to push her, but she’d felt the absence of their constant banter and Lexa’s snide remarks.

She’d come to expect that when they were at storms together. She missed it.  
  
Octavia had told her to go see her and ask, but Clarke had declined, stating that they both needed time. Her friend had looked skeptical, but agreed. She had yet to tell her friends everything that had happened in the bunker.

It almost felt like a secret. Like what had transpired down there should remain between the two of them.

It still drove her crazy, though, and sometimes it felt like Lexa was purposely dragging it along, but she knew that wasn’t true. Clarke knew how meticulous she was. How Lexa would go over every single thing before making a decision. She loved her research and Clarke knew without a doubt that Lexa had done exactly that. She let herself smile briefly at the thought, and then reminded herself of the gravity of the situation. She knew she wasn’t going to get anything done, so she didn’t head to her office, instead opting to go get a sandwich and a coffee from the Ark. With the recent events, she hadn’t had a chance to stop in a while and missed it. She had been craving an egg salad sandwich and they made the best ones in the city.  
  
Walking into the Ark and smelling all the delicious aromas made her stomach rumble. She hadn’t eaten since the day before and was starving. She quickly made her way to the counter and made her order with Harper, the barista who flirted shamelessly with Lexa a couple weeks ago. She tried her best not to grimace and plastered a fake smile on her face. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Harper; she just _hated_ seeing her flirt with Lexa. She was ready to admit that. Clarke knew she had no claim to the woman, but she could feel her little crush spiraling out of control, especially after the bunker. She pulled money out of her wallet to pay and saw Harper looking behind her with a wide grin on her face. Her stomach swooped, since such a stupid smile on her face could only mean one thing -or rather, one person. Clarke turned around to see Lexa hovering in the doorway and leaning heavily on her crutches.  
  
Clarke threw down the money on the counter, telling Harper to keep the change, before making her way quickly over to Lexa. Clarke hoped she would accept her help and wouldn’t think she was overstepping. When their eyes met, she saw Lexa nod in gratitude as she helped her over to a booth close to the door.  
  
Once Lexa got situated, she looked up at her. Clarke gazed back before the moment was broken by none other than Harper.  
  
“Hey, Lexa, how are you? I heard what happened. I’m so glad you’re okay,” Clarke noticed that she wasn’t included and it irked her as she stood there apparently invisible.  
  
“I’m good. Thanks,” She looked up at Clarke. “If it wasn’t for Clarke, than I probably wouldn’t be here right now.”  
  
Clarke stood there frozen, not quite believing what she heard. Lexa hadn't spoken to her after the interview. It was the first time she was hearing anything in reference to that ordeal. She saw two pairs of eyes staring at her and she realized she still hadn’t spoken.

“It’s not a big deal," she said, and then turned to look at Harper. "I’ll leave you to it,” She intended to walk away, but her hand was grabbed in a firm grip.  
  
“No, please stay. I'd like to talk to you if you have a moment,” Lexa said before looking back at Harper.  
  
Clarke couldn’t help the small smile that came across her face. Clarke felt childish as she fought to keep her smile from growing in response to the scowl Harper had.   
  
“Wait, before you go -can I get an egg salad sandwich and a large coffee please?” Lexa handed her a twenty and ten dollar bill and told her to keep the change.  
  
Harper smiled politely. “I’ll bring it to you when it’s ready,” She turned around and stalked off.  
  
Clarke sat down hesitantly.

“Hey,” She tried not to sound nervous, but couldn’t help it. She was curious as to why Lexa wanted to talk now when she’d asked for space. It had been a couple days since the last storm, and they hadn't spoken at all then.  
  
“Hi,” Lexa shifted in her seat, fidgeting with her napkin. Clarke smiled slightly knowing that Lexa was nervous as well. It helped ease her discomfort. They sat in silence just looking at one another. Clarke wished she knew what Lexa was thinking. She was doing the adorable head tilt that the Clarke was fond of.  
  
“I…” They were interrupted by an overeager Harper who delivered Lexa’s food and coffee with a bright smile. Clarke looked for hers and didn’t see it. “Where’s mine?”  
  
“Oh I’m sorry, I must have forgotten yours,” Harper replied without looking at her. She went to get up, but Lexa held a hand up.  
  
“Clarke was here before me, she should have her food first. Can you please get it for her?” Harper looked disgruntled and Clarke appreciated Lexa standing up for her.

“You’re absolutely right. I’ll be right back,” She scurried off.  
  
“Thank you, Lexa.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Clarke smiled. Harper returned less than a minute later.  
  
“Here you go. Sorry about that,” Clarke tried not to roll her eyes as she knew she was only saying it and didn’t honestly give a damn.  
  
“Thank you,” Harper was lingering and Clarke hated it.  
  
“That’s all. I really do need to speak with Clarke…in private,” Harped nodded before walking away, not looking happy at all.  
  
“We got the same thing,” Lexa pointed out with an upturn of her lips. Clarke loved seeing her smile.  
  
“We did," Clarke replied. "Apparently we have good taste.” 

“Apparently, we do."  
  
She watched as Lexa took a big bite out of her sandwich and let out a small moan. Clarke’s eyebrows shot up as she saw Lexa’s eyes closed in pure ecstasy. She was transfixed by the sight in front of her. Not only because of the unholy sounds coming out of the woman's mouth, but because she'd never seen Lexa like this. So...normal. It was almost as if they were just a pair of friends, having lunch together and catching up.

Lexa dabbed her napkin against her lips. 

"Listen, Clarke, I…” Lexa swallowed. “Thank you. I don’t think I really ever expressed my gratitude to you, but thank you for everything you did that day. And after.”  
  
Clarke appreciated it, but she didn’t think that was what Lexa wanted to talk about. She'd gotten good at reading the other woman, and it felt almost as though she was itching to say something else. Clarke went with it for now.

“Like I said before, I’d do it again, Lexa, but you’re welcome.”  
  
Lexa smiled again. “I appreciate you respecting my request, too. It’s given me a lot of time to think and I’ve come to a conclusion on what to do,” Lexa looked straight at her.  
  
Clarke stared back at her in anticipation, her food forgotten, and her hands clenching around the arms of her chair so hard her knuckles turned white. Was this when the other shoe would drop? Would her dreams be crushed right as she was achieving them? She was about to find out and Clarke was terrified. She was almost angry with herself that a single woman _held_ so much power over her, in every single way. She'd made a mistake and it was up to Lexa to decide what to do with her, whether to forgive her or give her up -and that was on Clarke. Her mistake. But the way she felt? The way her stomach fluttered every time Lexa spoke and how her perfume made her dizzy -that was all Lexa. Clarke couldn't be blamed for feeling that way for her.

It was Lexa.  
  
“What conclusion is that?” It felt like her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. She waited with bated breath. Lexa looked at her for a moment, almost like she was trying to solve a complicated puzzle before responding.

“I’m not pressing charges.”  
  
Clarke felt her whole body sag in relief as soon as the words left Lexa’s lips. She almost couldn’t believe what she heard.  
  
“Why?” She knew she didn’t deserve it and couldn’t resist asking. “I didn’t save your life in order to save my ass, I did it…I did it because it was the right thing to do. You don't have to feel-”  
  
Lexa interrupted her rambling. “It's not because of that. I mean it. I’m not pressing charges for a slew of other reasons. It would affect other people, not just you. Like Octavia and in extension Lincoln. It could affect your co-workers at the station and they could lose their jobs.”  
  
“That’s very noble of you, Lexa, but...it doesn't feel right that you're not doing anything because you’re worried about others. If you think that I deserve charges pressed against me then do it," She couldn't believe what she was saying, but she'd always hated feeling like charity work. Not to mention, what if Lexa changed her mind? Clarke wouldn't be able to live wondering. "Don’t not do it because of whoever else.”  
  
Lexa took a second to think.

“Maybe it's not just because of them," she said. "I think....You wouldn’t deserve that, Clarke. After the bunker -What I mean is that you’ve _shown_ me that what you did isn’t who you are." Lexa shrugged. "Besides, I played a hand in it.”  
  
Clarke was at a loss for words. It seemed almost too good to be true. Her expression must have reflected her feelings, because Lexa smiled gently.

“I’m not pressing charges," she repeated. "Regardless of what anyone else thinks, it’s my decision and it's my choice. Will you respect it?”   
  
Clarke almost smiled in response. “Ugh…fine," she joked, not quite believing after so many days of uncertainty she was finally of the hook. "I accept,” She swallowed thickly, feeling the familiar rush of tears springing to her eyes. She was beyond grateful. “Thank you, Lexa. Thank you.”  
  
Lexa nodded and went back to her food. Now that it was all out of the way, Clarke let herself relax. She wasn't as hungry as before, but she still took a bite out of her sandwich and began to enjoy her meal. She very much enjoyed sitting in silence with Lexa. They didn’t speak again while they finished their mirror meals. Clarke was always one for idle chatter as she normally couldn’t stand the quiet, but with Lexa, she found it pleasurable. It was almost strange, how tense the situation had been a few minutes ago and how...normal, it was now, but Clarke wasn't complaining.  
  
“May I ask you a question?” Lexa broke the silence, looking up at her.  
  
“Of course, go ahead,” The formal way Lexa asked made Clarke curious.  
  
“Have you spoken to your boss?”  
  
“No, I haven’t," she answered. "She gave me two weeks off after the bunker. We haven't really spoken about anything."

“If you have time off, why were you at the storm yesterday?” Lexa asked her.

"Oh, because I’ve been going stir crazy not doing anything," Clarke smiled. "I’m sure you can relate. If I remember right, you were there too.”

“Touché," Lexa said. "It was a battle of wills against Anya though. She was adamant on me staying home, but I refused.”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me," Clarke mentioned. "Nothing could keep you away, not even a broken leg,” Clarke admired her determination and dedication. Lexa was always willing to go the extra mile and do just as much if not more than she had too. Being the boss meant Lexa could sit on her ass and get paid, but Clarke knew Lexa wasn’t that type of person in the least. They had that in common. “Try not to reinjure yourself though, as I won’t always be around to help,” Clarke couldn’t resist teasing and hoped it was okay.  
  
“I’ll keep that in mind, Clarke. Thank you.”

Clarke smiled. "About Alie, my boss, she said something about a project she had in the works. I’m not sure what she has up her sleeve, I’m supposed to go by the station tomorrow,” Clarke wanted to be completely honest with her. Just because she wasn’t pressing charges, didn’t mean Lexa forgave her.  
  
“I wonder what that could be. My boss has been all over the interview too, maybe it has to do with that," Lexa shrugged. "Hopefully you’ll find out soon and she will stop and with all the cloak and dagger stuff,” Lexa smiled.   
  
“Cloak and dagger, huh? I like it,” She looked down to her sandwich finding only empty wrappers and crumbs. A quick look at the clock above the door let her know that more time than she thought had passed. Clarke gathered up their trash, excusing herself to toss it in the bin. She came back over and stood awkwardly once again by the chair she’d just vacated. She needed to get going, but found herself trying to find an excuse to linger a little longer.  
  
“Thank you for having lunch with me, even if it was unexpected,” Clarke frowned as nothing was coming out quite like she wanted. “I hate to eat and run, but I need to get going,” She was hoping Lexa would give her a reason to stay.

Lexa looked down at her watch. “Oh, you’re right; I need to head to my office. I’m happy that it’s close,” She went to stand up, grabbing her crutches. “These crutches will be the end of me though, they’re so uncomfortable.”  
  
Clarke laughed. “I know. They're the worst,” Clarke thought back to when she had broken her ankle playing with her friends. She had tripped in a hole in a field and broke her ankle in two places. She saw Lexa giving her a questioning look as they made their way out of the shop.  
  
“I broke my ankle when I was a kid. I hated the crutches and would beg my dad to give me rides around the house so I didn’t have to use them,” Clarke smiled fondly. She chose to walk Lexa to her office, but didn’t mention it, just headed in the same direction. If Lexa _noticed_ what she was doing, she didn’t comment.  
  
“That sounds really nice,” Lexa gave her a look that spoke more than words could say and Clarke understood. “I refuse to use a wheelchair so I’ll make do with the crutches. Besides, it could be worse,” She left the rest unsaid.  
  
Clarke smiled. “Well, you’ll be off them before you know it,” Clarke tried to sound as upbeat as possible. She could tell Lexa was feeling down regarding her leg and she didn’t want that.  
  
Lexa gave her a small smile. “Thanks. I’m hoping so,” She stopped. “This is me. Thanks for walking me back,” Lexa gave her a knowing look.  
  
“What, huh, no I was just umm…walking this way too,” Clarke gave a nervous chuckle, and mentally slapped herself for her lapse in reason. She usually had much better control of her mouth.  
  
“If you say so, Clarke," Lexa said heading into the building. "Have a good day.”   
  
Clarke stood still, staring after her with her hands in her pockets.

“You too, Lex.”

The nickname left her lips before she even _realized_ she was saying, and she was surprised at how right it felt. She scurried off back the way she came.

-=-  
  
Lexa was in her office in her favorite chair going over footage. It was late and her team had all retired for the evening. It had been a rare storm where they actually had gotten back at a normal time. Her friends loved it and wanted to go out and had tried to convince her to join, but she'd declined. She wasn’t in the mood to be social. They didn’t push like normal obviously sensing she needed some time to herself.  
  
Anya had made her promise to keep her leg propped up and to take a pain pill if needed. She had even went as far as bringing her food to make sure she ate before heading out with Raven. Lexa appreciated it as she knew she would most likely forgo food when she was deep into editing or her research.

It _happened_ more often than not.  
  
As usual, Lexa lost herself in her research, and the time flew by. She was so absorbed in the the most recent study, that she hadn’t heard someone knock on the door to her office. She startled looking up and checking the time. It was late and Lexa wondered who could be knocking on her door at this time of night.  
  
She debated ignoring it, but knew that whoever it was had seen the light on and called out for them to come in. She thought it might be Clarke, but as the blonde was respecting her wishes or so she thought, it couldn’t be her. Could it?  
  
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I wanted to talk to for a second. I hope that’s okay.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s okay. How did you know where to find me?” Lexa asked.  
  
“Lincoln told me you’d be here,” She shuffled her feet before sitting down in the chair opposite her. “I just wanted to come here and tell you thank you. Thank you for not pressing charges against Clarke. I know you had every right to do just that, so I appreciate it.”  
  
“You’re welcome, Octavia. I thought a lot about it and decided not to because it would have affected a lot more people than just Clarke. None of you had any part in it and I just decided I couldn’t do it,” Lexa sighed, rubbing her thigh.  
  
“Well for what it’s worth, thank you. You aren’t at all how I thought you’d be and I have to say I’m glad. Lincoln has told me a lot about you, and I’ll be honest, I almost didn’t believe him. But you are exactly the way he described and more. He thinks very highly of you,” Octavia paused. “So does, Clarke.”  
  
Lexa’s head snapped up. She was speechless. She couldn’t find words to say. “I think highly of him too. I’m glad to know you don’t think I’m a cold, hard bitch like you thought. I’m sure that’s what you meant,” Octavia went to refute the claim, but Lexa held up your hand. “You’d be right, but I do it to for a reason,” Lexa paused, “I think highly of her too,” She mumbled quietly.  
  
She knew Octavia heard by the widening of her eyes, but chose not to comment on it. “I just wanted to tell you that, but I gotta go. Linc is waiting for me,” She smiled. “Thank you, Lexa.”  
  
Lexa laughed because of course Lincoln would be the one to bring her here. “You’re welcome. Have a good rest of your night. Tell Linc, I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” Octavia froze halfway out the door, looking back. Lexa laughed at the expression on her face. “Work, you know?”  
  
Octavia sighed. “You’re good, I’ll give you that. See you.”

“Bye.”  
  
Lexa sat back in her seat wondering what just happened. She could see what Lincoln saw in her.  
  
She was a very loyal and honest person from what she could see. Lexa was glad that Lincoln found someone good enough for him. He deserved it. Just like Anya deserved to be happy with Raven. Maybe it was time for her to _find_ someone as well.  
  
Before she could get back into her research, her door opened again, only this time it was Anya standing there with her arms crossed.  
  
“Shouldn’t you be with Raven?” Lexa asked wearily.  
  
“She’s in the car; I wanted to check on you,” Anya replied. Lexa knew there was more to it as Anya could have easily called or texted.  
  
“She could have come up with you, but I take it you wanted this to be a private conversation,” Lexa sighed. She must have heard about her not pressing charges. She knew Anya would be on her side, but that didn’t mean she _would_ be happy about it.  
  
“I meant what I said. I’m on your side, but I just want to know why?” Anya sat down heavily in her chair.  
  
“You already know why, An. I couldn’t do that to any of us. We’re all entwined now and it would affect all of us. You and Raven, Lincoln and Octavia, and even Clarke,” She mumbled the last name. "I just couldn’t in good conscience do it. Please understand.”  
  
“I can understand Lex. I can, but…”  
  
“No buts. Do you know how angry Raven would have been or even Lincoln. Octavia had nothing to do with it and she’d lose her job for sure and it would fracture our team. We’d be divided and that’s the last thing I want or need. You all mean too much to me, especially you, An. I won’t cause tension between you and Rae. You are so happy and you deserve it. Raven would never be able to forgive me or you for that matter if we went after her best friend.”  
  
“Don’t do this for me, Raven and I would figure it out. I love her more than I ever thought possible and we would make it work. It’s not that I don’t agree with your decision, I just want to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons and not because you have the hots for blondie.”  
  
“I don’t have the hots for Clarke.”  
  
“You can say that all you want, but I know you do.”  
  
Lexa pouted. “So you and Raven are okay?”  
  
“We’ve been fighting,” Anya admitted. “She’s mad because she thinks I’m not on her side and I want to persecute Clarke, and part of me does because what she did was wrong, but I see your point and I see Raven’s many, many points she throws at me," Anya rolled her eyes, "I’m not blind, I know one mistake doesn’t make her a bad person.”  
  
“How about going back out to the car and telling her that she’s right and you’re wrong and beg for her forgiveness,” Lexa teased. “Really, I appreciate your concern, I do, but I’ve made my decision.”  
  
“Maybe, I will. I haven’t been exactly subtle in my dislike for the blonde. Now that they made up, she’s going to be around more. Raven made that clear. I won’t make her choose between us. I can’t lose her. I’ll respect your decision, Lex because I respect you.”  
  
“I’m really happy that you’re happy. You deserve it,” Lexa was lucky to have her in her life as she wouldn’t have gotten through anything without her.  
  
“Thank you,” Lexa could see her best friend was getting emotional and it was a very rare occurrence. “Go see your girl and I’ll see you later.”

"I think I will."  
  
“Tell Raven I said hey. See you.” Anya jumped up and headed out before suddenly turning around and yanking her into a tight hug before kissing her on the cheek and practically running out the door.  
  
Lexa laughed at her eagerness and sighed. She missed that, _more_ than she had originally thought.  
  
Sitting in her chair after Anya had left, she was contemplating whether to go home or sleep on the couch. She looked over to the couch, deciding it was closer and made her way slowly over to it. She sunk deep in the well-worn cushions letting out a contented sigh.  
  
She took her shoes off and laid back on the couch, getting situated. She pulled the old tattered blanket down and around her. Her mind drifted to Clarke and wondered if maybe, just maybe it was _possible_ for them to start over. She was thinking of different ways before she fell into a dreamless sleep.  
  
-=-  
  
Clarke went to bed with a smile on her face on the way the day had turned out.  
  
Clarke was overjoyed hearing that Lexa wasn’t going to pressing charges. Even though she firmly believed she didn’t deserve it, she was still happy to hear it. Not just for her, but Octavia. Her job was safe, for now and so was hers for the foreseeable future as long as Alie stayed as happy as she’d been since the interview.  
  
To top it all off, she got an unexpected lunch with Lexa as well. She enjoyed spending time with her, but wouldn’t push her for more. Clarke would still respect her wish of some time as she didn’t say otherwise.

She was determined to get another chance at being friends with the brunette. She didn’t want to get her hopes up for more. She’d be lucky to be able to call her a friend. She hoped that would happen in time.  
  
Clarke got out of bed in a great mood. Nothing could bring her down not even a text from Alie telling her she come by the station today. The best part was Alie didn’t specify a time, so Clarke took full advantage and took her time. Clarke figured a little payback was in order considering. She didn’t care if was petty or not.  
  
When she finally made it to the station, it was after one o’clock. Clarke went first to her office to drop of the latest footage to go through and edit. She then made her way to Alie’s office after asking a co worker where she was. She made her way there with a bounce in her step. Her mind still on yesterday and the impromptu lunch with Lexa.  
  
She knocked twice before being told to come in.  
  
“Clarke, thank you for coming. Make yourself comfortable,” Alie said brightly.  
  
Clarke missed a step, but recovered quickly.  
  
“Hi, you wanted to see me...” Clarke took a seat in the chair across the desk from her boss. She was curious as to what was going on. She wasn’t too worried currently as Alie seemed to be in a really good mood which was rare.  
  
“Yes, I did. The ratings are through the roof. The board and I are very happy and we want to offer you your own show.”  
  
Clarke sat back, flabbergasted. “Umm...really?!? I mean, that would be great, but are you…” Clarke didn’t get to finish.  
  
“There are some conditions.” Clarke almost rolled her eyes. She knew it was too _good_ to be true.  
  
“And those are?” Clarke braced herself, having a feeling she wasn’t going to like what she had to say.  
  
“You’ve gained popularity, a lot of it and with Lexa by your side, we can strike while the iron is hot. Use this momentum to propel us even further,” Alie’s eyes lit up in excitement while Clarke’s mood plummeted. Alie wasn’t saying it, but she knew what was expected of her and her hate for her boss grew even more.

If that was even possible.  
  
“So you want me to use Lexa and her fame? That’s what you want. Anything for ratings right?” Clarke couldn’t keep the malice from her voice if she tried. She was disgusted that she was expected to stoop this low. The worst thing, was before she would have done it, she wouldn’t have even hesitated, but she wasn’t the same person anymore. This job was _important_ to her, but she wouldn’t screw Lexa over again. She couldn’t.  
  
Alie sat back in her chair and stared at her over the rim of her glasses. “No, not at all. I’m just saying...be friendly. You know be her friend, get up close and personal if you need too. Be seen out and about with her. Use social media to your advantage. You’ll know what to do. You’ve restored my faith with your stunt in the bunker. Well played. Miss Griffin.”  
  
“Are you seriously trying to imply that the bunker was a ploy? That I risked my life and Lexa’s to be famous? You’re joking, I hope. As for Lexa, there is no way I will be doing anything of the sort. She is a good person and I refuse to be part of the scheme you’re concocting. There’s no way. I’m saying no, Miss Kennedy. Absolutely not.”  
  
Clarke watched surprise flicker across her face.” I’m not telling you to sleep with her, Miss Griffin,” Alie said, voice gruff.  
  
Clarke blinked in shock at the harsh sentence.  
  
“I’m just saying,” Alie continued, her voice back to its usual coolness. “...be her friend. Be publicly her friend. It looks good on you, and on the show. People already think you’re dating, for God’s sake. Would it really be that bad if we keep that up?”  
  
”That’s…” Clarke didn’t know what word to use, although a few choice ones came to mind. She settled for the tamest of all. “Dishonest.”  
  
“I could contact Lexa’s PR, run it by them. But they don’t benefit from this so you know what they’d say. You wouldn’t be lying to anyone. You are friends, aren’t you?”  
  
Clarke stuttered.  
  
“See? Would it be so bad to be seen in public with her? Maybe post a selfie or two on social media? Clarke, you wanted your own show, didn’t you? This is what that entails. You need recognition. A following. There’s no better way to build yourself one.”  
  
It was so callous. Worst of all, Clarke could see her logic and she _hated_ that she could. But she could never do it.  
  
She couldn’t act like Lexa’s friend just to leech off her fame. She couldn’t suggest that they were more, to people or to Lexa herself, with ulterior motives. But most of all, she couldn’t do it to herself.  
  
If she ever acted like Lexa’s girlfriend she’d start to believe it.  
  
“No, I can’t do it. I won’t,” Clarke couldn’t believe she was finally telling her boss no to her face. It felt really good.  
  
“That’s not what I want to hear. It’s your decision and I can’t make you do anything you don’t want too.”  
  
Clarke didn’t like the tone, but bit her lip. She knew she should probably leave now before it gets worse.  
  
“I should get going,” Her phone chirped and she’d never been more grateful for the sound. She looked down and saw it was an alert on a possible storm. “I really do need to go. Storm coming in.”  
  
Alie looked like she wanted to say more, but held her tongue. “Okay. Get to work,” Clarke got up to leave and right before she walked out, Alie’s voice stopped her. “Oh before I forget, you’ll be hearing from me soon once I iron out the final details on a project I’ve been working on,” She smiled devilishly. “I’m sure you’re going to love it,” She then waved her hand and Clarke had no choice other than leaving when she really wanted to question what the hell she was talking about.

Clarke didn't like the sound of that early at all.

Guess she'd have to _wait_ and see.


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

The images played on the screen, one after the other, and regardless of how many times Clarke had seen them, they never got old. Sitting back in her chair, in her tiny office that smelled of coffee, Clarke went over the footage from the last storm and it felt like she hadn’t missed a day of work. She hadn’t wanted to take the time off, but it had been good for her. She would never admit that to Alie and give her the satisfaction of being right, though, not a chance in hell -she would never want to seem weak or incapable in front of the woman. But it had been a relief to take a _moment_ to breathe. She hadn’t realized just how consumed by deadlines she’d grown in the past few years.

Not to mention -she’d been distracted by a certain green eyed brunette and the unexpected lunch they’d had a little over a week ago. Clarke still couldn’t get it or her out of her head. She still couldn’t believe that Lexa had agreed to not press charges -Clarke honestly thought she would and was shocked when she said otherwise. A part of Clarke truly believed that she didn’t _deserve_ to be let off that easy. When Clarke really thought about it though, she knew Lexa hadn’t let her off the hook.

All the brunette had said was that she wouldn’t press charges. She never said she forgave her or even trusted her. Which was fair, she supposed, even though she wanted to put all this behind them for reasons she wasn’t prepared to voice out loud.

Clarke would give anything to earn Lexa’s trust back and for her to forgive her. She knew she didn’t deserve it yet, but she was hopeful that in time she would. She just hoped Lexa would give her the chance to earn it back. Lexa had said she needed some time and Clarke was willing to give her as much time as she needed -minus when they ran into each other, she’d been keeping that promise.

That one _instance_ was pure coincidence. Or fate. Or something.

Lost in thought, she almost missed her phone vibrating on the desk. She snatched it up without checking the caller ID, which turned out to be a huge mistake when her boss’s voice floated through the line. She sighed, wondering what she could Alie possibly want now. She had already refused to be part the PR scheme she wanted her to participate in with Lexa, and Clarke didn’t believe she’d possibly try again. She briefly thought that maybe there was another reason for her call, but didn’t hold her breath. That turned out to be a good thing because that was exactly what she had up her sleeve.

Of course. Once a bitch…

She didn’t even get out a hello before Alie barreled into the reason she was calling. Clarke shook her head, just listening to her go on and on and on with hellos and platitudes that she never engaged in. The reason for those became pretty clear in an instant, and Clarke nearly fell out of her chair when Alie got to the reason for her call.

Clarke vaguely heard what Alie said, as she was more worried about what Lexa would think.

She shouldn’t have been surprised that Alie would do this, but she really hoped that Lexa didn’t think she had anything to do with it. They were finally making a little progress and Clarke hoped this wouldn’t jeopardize anything. Clarke knew she needed to call her or better yet, go see her. She needed to explain just the type of person her boss was. She needed to make sure that Lexa knew that this wasn’t her decision. It was _all_ Alie. Somehow, it always came down to her boss. She’d debated numerous times about quitting, but she loved what she did. She just hated who she had to work for. She had tried to find another job at a bigger station, but she didn’t want to move away from her friends and family. She had a life in Polis and she didn’t want to change that, not even it if meant a better paying job with even more opportunities. She had briefly thought -back when she and Octavia were starting out- about possibly working for Lexa, or with Lexa, even, if her imagination was feeling good that day.

But not this way, and _definitely_ not after everything that had happened.

Clarke was planning to say no, but realized it would be futile. She sat back into her chair and let her head fall forward into her hands. She didn’t know how to get out of this and from what she heard, contracts were already signed. Alie had her -like she always did.

Alie was still yapping in her ear and as soon as she had the chance, Clarke said she had her doubts about it. She couldn't afford to say no and anger her after she'd already rejected her idea once before, but Clarke still wanted to make her stance clear, even knowing it wouldn't make a difference. She still wanted to try. She felt....dirty, like she'd be using Lexa. They just had this discussion about using Lexa and her show for publicity and letting the fans believe that there really was something more between them, and now Alie came up with this. Never mind if she sometimes wished all they said online was true, she knew it wasn’t and refused to be a part of a PR scheme to make it seem that way.

But now she was screwed.

A special with Lexa. A crossover of sorts, between Lexa's show and Clarke's own segment. The both of them, working together. It's what Alie had signed her up for.

To do this special with Lexa felt like digging the hole even deeper when she had just managed to start digging herself out. She should have known that saying no to her would backfire, and that Alie would find a way around it. She always did. Clarke was stuck and she knew it as soon as her boss opened her mouth. This was just a more elaborate and legal way of making sure she could mooch off Lexa's fame. It looked like she would be working with Lexa for a couple weeks and she was afraid of what it the brunette would think. They'd not only be forced together for however many weeks to shoot this, but would be forced to spend time together afterwards, putting it all together. It went entirely against Lexa's request from time and space, and Clarke wasn't sure if Lexa would be up to it -or mad at her. It sounded from the way Alie worded things that it was all set, so Lexa probably had as much of a choice as Clarke did, which was to say, not much of one.

Alie had finally stopped talking, asking her a question which Clarke vaguely gave a reply to before she mumbled a goodbye and hung up.

She grabbed her stuff and made her way out of her office. She was hoping that maybe there was a _chance_ that Lexa hadn’t heard yet, and maybe she would be able to hear  
it from her first. It wouldn't make much of a difference, but she wanted to explain to Lexa that she didn't mean to encroach on her show or her space. (And God, knowing that she'd used some of Lexa's footage in her show just made this whole thing even more uncomfortable to her.)

She was convinced time and space were what Lexa needed for them to put all these behind them, and she hoped that being forced together yet again wouldn't put a stop to that. She got in her car, hoping she would listen and they could find a way to figure this out and work together.

Work. _Together_. Clarke gulped and started the car

-=-

Clarke went straight to Lexa's office, figuring that was the most likely place to find the woman.

She walked inside -slightly surprised when the security guard recognized her and let her in without much trouble- and made her way to the top floor. She was about to knock on the door when she heard voices -she recognized Raven’s and Lexa’s. She didn’t want to eavesdrop, so she hesitantly knocked. What she didn’t expect was for Anya to swing open the door immediately and glare at her.

Clarke took a step back, instinctively getting out of the path of fury the woman seemed to be on.

Clarke took one look at Anya and knew that they'd already heard the news -and Anya wasn't happy about it. Clarke wasn't surprised, the woman _wasn't_ her biggest fan, and she was entirely sure the reason she hadn't ordered a hit on her was because of Lexa. (Clarke didn't think she'd actually order a...actually she did. Anya just gave off that vibe.)

All Clarke prayed for was that they didn't think it was her idea to take advantage of Lexa like that -because that's what it would be. She brought nothing in viewers to the table, compared to Lexa. And her equipment wasn't like hers either. All she had was herself, and Clarke guessed that wasn't enough, especially considering the type of person she'd been to them before. With the glare she was getting, though, she knew that wasn’t the case. Anya probably thought it was _entirely_ her idea. She looked past Anya and locked eyes with Lexa.

Her eyes were unreadable, and it made her stomach feel heavy.

She opened her mouth to say something, but it wouldn’t cooperate and form a single word. She just stuttered and continued to open and close her mouth trying to get the words to come out.

It didn't work.

Luckily, Raven seeing her discomfort, swooped in and wrapped her in a discrete hug, seemingly saying hello.

Raven leaned closed to her ear and whispered. “You got this,” She stepped back before nodding at Lexa and dragging Anya out of the room reluctantly.

That didn’t stop Anya from throwing another withering glare her way that may or may not have caused her to shudder just a little. Clarke took a deep breath and faced Lexa again.

“Hi,” Clarke waved awkwardly. She hated feeling uncomfortable in front of Lexa. Even back in the days when all they did was taunt each other, there had been a certain feeling of camaraderie that now was all but gone.

“Hello, Clarke,” Lexa replied, stiffly. Clarke hated this. She feels like they took a huge step backwards and didn’t know what to say.

“So I take it you’ve heard then? I’m assuming that’s why you’re here. Correct?”  

Clarke could only nod.

Lexa walked over and sat in her chair, gesturing to the opposite one for Clarke. She walked over and gave her a small, tight smile. She finally found her voice.

“Yes, it is, I just heard about it. Alie called and...I don't know. I wanted to talk to you. I tried to tell her no, because after everything that happened...it just didn't feel right," Clarke gulped in air after spitting all that out. It just came flooding out in rapid succession. "Plus, I know what it looks like-"

"Like your channel is exploiting my show? Like you're hoping to get a ratings boost from being connected to my show."

Clarke swallowed hard.

"Well, yes."

"I know. And I thought so too -at first. Anya still thinks that. She's convinced that you and Alie want to use me to improve your numbers. Sorry about earlier, by the way."

Clarke shook her head. It _hardly_ mattered what Anya thought of her. She cared what Lexa thought.

"But the thing is, if you're riding the wave of popularity that's happened because of what the bunker gave us, then we're not really doing anything any different. It's just smart business. And my boss seems convinced that this special will be great for us too, so you have nothing to worry about in that aspect."

Clarke frowned. "And you? What about...that aspect? I know you asked for space-"

"I know. And this isn't your fault, so don't worry about it."

Clarke nodded, feeling almost like a band loosened from around her lungs. Lexa was being far more understanding than she had expected, and she began to _wonder_ if she'd actually begun to forgive her.

“In that case, you and I will be working together for a couple weeks. You sure you're okay with that?” she asked. She felt the brunette’s intense gaze, but Lexa didn't answer right away. She just nodded her head, and then a small smile spread across her face.

"You're not the worst company, Clarke," Lexa said. Clarke's eyes popped open, she was sure her surprise shone clearly on her face, and that was only confirmed when Lexa laughed at her expression. Clarke loved the sound. She wouldn’t mind hearing it everyday if she could. “And you do know that we're going to have to talk to each other to make this arrangement work, right?”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, I’m aware.” Clarke couldn’t believe she was teasing her and very much enjoyed it. “So next storm, we’ll be working together instead of against each other. That’s going to be a change of pace.”

“I don’t really have much of choice now do I?” Clarke felt her heart plummet in her chest. “But I’m okay with it,” Lexa gave a small smile. “I even think it might be...interesting. I do need to get back to work though.”

“Oh yes, of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll get going.”

She stood up, and Lexa stood up after her leaning against the desk. Her office was large enough that it warranted her walking Clarke out even on crutches, and Clarke was secretly thankful about it. They stopped in front of the door.

"Thanks for coming, Clarke. It'll be good working with you," the words sounded practiced, overly serious, but Clarke still felt thankful when Lexa extended her hand for her to shake. Before Clarke could quite process what she was doing, she took a step forward and bypassed her hand, enveloping Lexa in a hug instead. And then it was like _everything_ just fit into place.

It didn't take her long to notice the warmth between them, or the firmness of Lexa’s body, the muscles in her back and shoulders and her front which was basically pressed tight against her. She'd known this, before, at the bunker, and she felt her body yearn for it again. Clarke hoped she hadn’t overstep, but then she felt Lexa’s arms tight around her too and Lexa's face in her neck like she was breathing her in.

Clarke took a moment to do the same before slowly pulling back and locking eyes with Lexa’s.

In a hot flash of a second, Clarke wanted nothing more than to lean in and capture that plump bottom lip between her own, to kiss her like she’d be dreaming of in the quietest, most secret parts of her, but she knew this wasn't the time, or if there ever was going to be a time. She reluctantly pulled out of the embrace, a fiery red blush coating her cheeks and crossed her arms to prevent herself from reaching out for her again.

“Thanks. For everything. And, uh-"

She felt a hand on her arm and looked up at Lexa's patient and understanding gaze. “Clarke. It’s okay. I get it.”

Clarke wouldn’t meet her eyes again, feeling bashful for her overly eager display of affection. “Thank you, really. For understanding and for believing me. It...it means a lot,” The blonde said the last part so quietly, she wasn’t sure Lexa heard. She walked outside, quickly sending Octavia a text.

“Meet me at my apartment in twenty minutes. I’ll get food. It’s important, please.”

-=-

Lexa sat back down after Clarke had left, intending to do some work, but that was short lived as she couldn’t get Clarke out of her head. She put her head in her hands wondering what the hell had happened. She didn’t have much time to ponder before Raven and Anya burst back in the room and Lexa knew she was going to be questioned.

They were like a dog with a bone, especially Raven.

Lexa sighed before meeting their eyes. She saw a worried look on Raven’s face and a glare on Anya’s. She knew that Raven would be more understanding and hoped she would help convince Anya to play nice.

“What the hell did she want?” Anya growled, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.

“She wanted to explain about the special. She didn’t know about it,” Lexa couldn’t help the bite in her tone and the intense urge to defend the woman. Yes, Clarke had a made a huge mistake, but they were both at fault and they were now trying to move on. The brunette wanted her best friend to understand and knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

“And you believe her?”

“Yes, I do. You’re my best friend, Anya and I need you to get along with her as we’re going to be working with her and Octavia for the next couple weeks,” Lexa stood up and walked closer to her friend. “Please.”

Anya sighed and nodded. “Fine, I’ll play nice, for you…” She nodded at her girlfriend. “And for Raven, now that they are friends again,” Anya smiled lovingly at her before turning back to her.

“Thank you,” Lexa had expected more a fight, but Raven had mellowed her best friend out immensely not that she would ever say that out loud.

“Awe, look at you two. I’m so proud,” Raven teased. Lexa just glared at her. “I’m glad you know that Clarke didn’t have anything to do with it. She hates her boss… I mean…” Raven trailed off, a look of panic on her face.

“I thought Clarke loved her job,” Lexa questioned, clearly baffled. She knew there were some issues, but didn’t realize it may extend past the usual grumbles people make.

“She does, it just…she…you know what. It’s her story to share, not mine,” Raven wouldn’t meet her eyes and Lexa bit back her retort.

“Maybe I’ll ask her then,” Lexa replied watching the color drain from Raven’s face. She watched Anya come over and put a comforting arm around her shoulder and bring her in for a hug. It brought back the very recent encounter where she was in a very similar embrace with Clarke and the warmth she felt being in her arms. It was different from when she hugged her friends, this felt more personal, it felt like she _belonged_ there.

Raven laughed and Lexa was broken out of her thoughts of the blonde. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on those thoughts. She had wanted space from Clarke, but it seemed the universe was dead set on not allowing that to happen. Lexa wasn’t sure how to feel about that yet.

“Hey lovebirds, we have things to do,” Lexa rolled her eyes at the two of them before sitting back down at her computer.

She heard laughter and kissing before her chair was tipped back and Raven gave her a kiss on the cheek. “When do we start working with them?” Raven asked.

Lexa thought back to her phone call with Kane earlier. “When the next storm hits from what I know.”

Raven smiled. “The fans are going to eat this up. They can’t get enough of you two. It’s going to be epic. I’ve missed working with them.”

Lexa put a hand over her chest in mock hurt. “Ouch, that hurts. Did you hear that Anya, apparently we aren’t good enough for Reyes.”

“Oh shut up, Commander. You know that wasn’t what I meant,” Raven playfully smacked her arm.

“Are you sure? I mean you never know,” Lexa smiled wickedly. “I mean I could always fire you than you can work them again full time.”

Anya spoke up. “Lay off, Lex. Don’t be mean to my girlfriend.”

“Way to ruin my fun,” Lexa pouted. “I was just getting started,” Lexa loved being able to be herself with her best friend and even her girlfriend. She remembered when it wasn’t that easy for her. She had come a long way and it was thanks to Gustus and Anya.

“Relax, Lex. You can have your fun later. Didn’t you say we had work to do?” Anya replied good naturedly.

“That’s right, get to work or I really will fire you.”

“Shof op, Leska,” Anya playfully glared before turning her attention to the computer.

Laughing out loud, she went back to work, but not without the blonde beauty lingering in her mind. It didn’t help that she could still smell her from when they hugged. It was a wonderful vanilla smell that Lexa couldn’t get enough of. It was a intoxicating scent that she’d be happy to smell from here on out.

Lexa quickly shook her head at the thoughts and went back to work. She could Anya mumbling at the computer and Raven tinkering with whatever project she had going on right now. Lexa smiled to herself.

She really _couldn’t_ ask for a better team.

-=-

Clarke should have known that things wouldn’t be as easy as she hoped. She could cut the tension with a knife. Clarke watched the two teams trying to work together, but it all seemed fake, like they were just pretending for the cameras that were filming them, and to a _certain_ point, they were. It wasn’t as easy as their bosses seemed to think to bring two teams together who were opposites on a lot of things.

Clarke knew that Lexa liked to play it safe and wouldn’t risk her or her team’s lives trying to get a better shot while Clarke would do anything to get that particular shot. Clarke would risk her life time and time again just to get closer, but nobody understood why. Not even Octavia, who was usually by her side. She’d never been able to form the words in order for anyone to understand. They all just thought she was crazy or suicidal, but Clarke wasn’t.

It _wasn’t_ that at all.

Lexa kept skirting around and leaving Clarke to her own devices. Clarke didn’t know what to think and couldn’t directly ask her, so she continued setting up as she normally would. Clarke resigned herself to asking about it later in private to avoid a spectacle.

“Are you going to talk to her or just continue to avoid her?” Clarke jumped at the sound of Octavia’s voice. Last Clarke saw, O was working with Lincoln to set up the cameras.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Clarke snapped, irritated by the whole situation. “And no, I’m not, just trying to give her the space she asked for.”

“You can’t avoid her, not here,” Octavia whispered. “The funnel hasn’t started forming yet, you have time.”

Clarke knew Octavia was right, but it was awkward and tense and Clarke wished it wasn’t. She decided to bite the bullet. “Ugh, fine. I’ll go over there. Just be ready because you know how unpredictable these storms can get.”

“Yes boss, I know. Now, go,” Octavia smiled and shooed her away.

Clarke walked slowly over to where Lexa was finishing up and watched her hair blow in the wind. She wanted to run her fingers through it and tuck the strands that escaped behind her ear. Clarke started to reach out when she locked eyes with Lexa and pulled her hand back quickly when she recognized her hand moving.

“Clarke, how can I help you?” Lexa asked, taking a step back towards her hand held camera that was sitting on the jeep.

“Don’t need help. Actually, I was wanting to see how you wanted to go about this. We're supposed to do this together, but we haven't figured out how it's gonna work,” Clarke shifted from foot to foot.

“You’re right, we haven’t. I guess, we stand next to each other and see what happens. We can always edit if we need to,” Lexa rubbed the back of her neck.

Clarke had picked up that it was a nervous habit of hers and almost smiled. Looking behind Lexa, she saw the funnel starting to form. “Well, looks like it's show time.”

“Looks like your right,” She turned around and grabbed her camera. “Are you ready for this, Griffin?”

“I was born ready, Woods,” Clarke laughed and they got into position with multiple cameras facing them. Clarke saw the quirk of the lips and _called_ that a win.

“This is Lexa Forrest with Into the Storm reporting to you live. Standing here with me is Clarke Griffin as most of you know. We will be working together for the next couple weeks. As you can see, there is a funnel forming behind us,” Lexa looked over at her.

“Thanks, I look forward to working with you. It will be a nice change of pace from going against you,” Clarke teased and was rewarded with a smile.

“Yes, it will,” Clarke stepped out of the frame while Lexa kept explaining what was happening, and immediately looked back, trying to find a better shot. She saw Lexa turn her head slightly in her direction, but that was it. She motioned for Octavia to follow which she did, but Clarke could tell it was hesitant. Clarke smiled in response while her best friend just glared. The funnel was forming beautifully about a mile away and Clarke wanted closer. It was her daring escapades that captured the audience and she knew she had to do it. Clarke hadn’t realized that Lexa had been backing up too, but at a snail’s pace due to her crutches. Clarke _smiled_ at her consideration.

Clarke stepped back into view of all the cameras before getting even closer. Octavia stayed rooted in her spot with Lexa while the rest of the team started yelling, but Clarke couldn’t hear them over the roaring wind.

She saw them pointing behind her and as she turned, she saw the tornado pulling debris and rocketing it towards her. She ducked, as multiple pieces of metal and other things she couldn’t even identify flew over head. A piece of metal came close enough she could hear it slice the air above her, and she felt her heart beat double time in her chest.

That was _close_.

Clarke looked back and saw everyone scrambling to get back in their vehicles.

Except for Lexa and Octavia, who were running towards her or limping in Lexa's case as she discarded her crutches. She waved them back. Clarke wouldn’t have them risk their lives too. She couldn’t live with herself if someone got hurt because of her. She tried inching her way forward, but debris was flying everywhere and she was making very little progress. Clarke chanced a glance up and saw Octavia pulling Lexa back and Lexa wasn’t having any of it. She could see the _fear_ in her eyes and it astonished her.

Another piece of zinc flew close to her, scrapping her arm, and Clarke felt cold fear creep up on her. 

This was how her life was going to end and she didn’t want to die. She had too much to live for, so she prayed, something she hadn’t done since before her dad’s death. She stayed close to the ground, hoping that no other pieces of metal would come flying towards her, and soon enough, she felt the strength of the wind decrease. Looking back, Clarke saw that the tornado was moving away from her and she sighed in relief, laying back on the ground -flat on her back- and staring up at the sky. She knew she should get up, but couldn’t get her body to obey the request.

Before she had a chance to, Clarke was being smothered by Octavia and Raven. Lexa stood behind them, just staring at Clarke with a look she _couldn’t_ decipher.

Clarke nodded at her and she received a small smile in response.

Clarke was lucky to be alive and she knew it.

“You guys go ahead, I need to talk to Lexa. We'll meet you all back at the station,” Clarke finally said extracting herself and seeing Lexa talking to Lincoln and Anya. Once everyone had dispersed and left Clarke and Lexa alone, they just stared at each other not saying a word.

“Do you have a death wish?” Lexa asked, getting right to the point. "I mean, I really can not understand how someone can be so irresponsible short of having a death wish,” Lexa paced back and forth using one crutch and Clarke felt an immense wave of guilt course through her seeing the look of fear and anger _shine_ in her eyes.

“No, I don’t," she said firmly. Those few minutes where she really thought that was it all but cleared that up. Clarke felt too much excitement at her discovery to feel chastised because of Lexa's words. (Or was she in shock?) She still felt she'd seen things clearly back then. "The tornado changed directions suddenly and that wasn’t my fault.”

“How about paying fucking attention, Clarke? You almost died, I almost watched you die,” Lexa stopped talking suddenly and before Clarke knew it, Lexa was directly in front of her with a look in her eyes that made Clarke’s heart beat faster.

How had she moved so fast especially with a broken leg.

“I know, I know what I did was stupid and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Lexa, but I realized something," she said, desperate to share what she'd found. "I realized that there is more to life than this job. That this job doesn’t have to be everything and my dad wouldn’t want me to waste my life chasing storms. I love it, I do and I’ll continue to do it, but not at the risk of my own life.”  

Clarke looked directly into Lexa’s eyes and before she realized what was happening, Lexa grabbed her and Lexa's lips were on hers. Clarke’s heart beat wildly and she froze before coming to her senses and kissing her back hard.

It was everything Clarke dreamed of, Lexa’s lips were soft and supple and Clarke couldn’t help but bite down on her plump bottom lip drawing a whine from the stoic Lexa. It seemed to bring a whole new level to their kiss, because suddenly it became deeper with Lexa requesting entrance by licking her lips, access which was immediately granted. Clarke was in heaven as Lexa licked the roof of her mouth and explored every inch she could. Clarke moaned and put her hand behind Lexa’s head to bring her closer, every part of their bodies touching. It was electrifying. Clarke pulled Lexa’s bottom lip into her mouth. Hearing Lexa whimper set her body on fire. Clarke tried to take control and the kiss ended up being a battle of dominance that neither was willing to relinquish. Clarke couldn’t get enough, and she pulled back to change the angle of the kiss when Lexa suddenly stepped back.

Lexa looked sexy as hell, her lips swollen and her eyes almost black with desire - all Clarke wanted to do was kiss her again. She reached out, but was stopped when Lexa put her hand in the air.

“I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have happened. I didn’t mean for that...I... let’s just forget that happened.”

Clarke's stomach dropped. 

She couldn't understand how Lexa wanted to pretend like it never happened, because all Clarke wanted was to do it again and again. There was no way Clarke would ever forget that kiss. It was the _best_ first kiss she ever had and Lexa wanting to just ignore it, hurt more than Clarke could say.

“I don’t think I can just...pretend that it didn’t happen, Lexa. Why did you kiss me?”

Lexa shook her head.

“It was a mistake. An adrenaline rush from the close call," she said. "Let’s go. We need to head back to the hotel,” Lexa started walking towards the truck.

“A mistake, huh? I don’t think so," She followed after Lexa, still breathing hard, her head still spinning from the past few minutes. "You don’t kiss someone like you just did and call that a mistake. It was an amazing kiss, Lexa,” she said, and then her voice dropped. “You can’t tell me you didn’t feel something,” Lexa had been, after all, the one to initiate the kiss that still had her very blood singing. “Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. If you can I’ll forget it for now, and won’t bring it up again.”

Lexa looked directly at her, licking her lips and Clarke’s eyes darted to the movement and she saw Lexa’s do the same. “I didn’t feel anything. Like I said, it was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

Clarke stood there flabbergasted, but couldn’t help but feel like Lexa was lying. Clarke didn’t blame her for it considering their history. However Clarke knew Lexa had felt something, but would keep your mouth shut and not mention it again because she knew it wouldn’t be long until Lexa cracked. 

At least she _hoped_  so.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've both been super busy and we're sorry for the long wait. This story is not abandoned and we're going to keep updating it. 
> 
> Thanks for your continued patience and understanding.
> 
> We hope you enjoy.
> 
> Update: New Chapter coming soon.

* * *

The trip back was more awkward than Clarke could have imagined. The tension in the car was such she could feel it every time she breathed in and exhaled. A knife wouldn’t be enough to cut it. She’d need a chainsaw. Lexa wouldn’t look at her nor speak to her.

They rode back in _absolute_ silence and Clarke had no idea what to do.

After all, Lexa had kissed her, not the other way around.

“Our teams are upstairs,” she told Clarke once they arrived at the station, and without another word she got out of the car and started walking towards the building. Clarke scrambled to follow after her.

She was still feeling shaken after the past hour. She had no idea how Lexa could be so...cold.

Once they arrived, they decided to use Lexa’s equipment as it was more advanced than hers. Clarke made no argument, not only were they right, but she didn’t think she could string three words together right now.

She knew the rest of the team was looking between them warily, obviously wondering what had transpired between them, but neither one bothered to acknowledge the stares. Clarke followed Lexa’s lead and focused on editing the footage they gathered.

Clarke noticed how their teams had come together, and instead of being glad she was annoyed. At herself and Lexa, mostly. Before, it had been them encouraging their teams to work together. Now that they were, Lincoln helping Octavia in one computer, and Anya and Raven manning the cameras together, she and Lexa couldn’t consult one another let alone speak to one another. Clarke was fed up.

Without a word, Clarke got up and walked out of the editing room to get some fresh air.

She almost didn’t notice the footsteps behind her, but she’d grown attuned even to Raven’s light steps and Octavia’s shuffle.  

“You okay?” Raven called out, and Clarke wasn’t quite sure how to answer. She wasn’t quite sure what was true.

“Yeah, you’ve been kind of...off,” Octavia mentioned. Clarke sat down. Raven and Octavia sat next to her.

“Did anything happen between you and Lexa after the storm?” Raven asked, and Clarke wondered if Lexa had mentioned something to Anya, and she in turn to Raven. And then she realized they’d been working in the same room all along, and they’d ridden back together. There was no way Lexa could have told anyone.

Maybe it was just a case of it being obvious that Lexa had shaken her to her core. Did everyone notice Lexa’s name written on her lips?

"We kissed,” she said simply, letting go of it like a bomb. “She kissed me."

They both looked at her dumbfounded, their jaws dropped open as neither one said a word.

Clarke stared at them, hoping her friends could provide some sort of support.

“Are you gonna say anything or just continue to gape at me?”

“She kissed you?!” Octavia yelled, and Clarke cringed, looking around. Luckily it was late and there was nobody in the building.

“First all, keep your voice down,” Clarke hissed. “Second, yes, why the fuck would I lie about that?”

“Okay, why?”

It seemed like such a simple question and yet Clarke couldn’t for the life of her answer and take a guess at Lexa’s motivations.

“Raven?” Clarke asked her friend, who’d remained silent so far.

“I’m just...digesting that information.” She shook her head. “I mean...considering your history, I just - I don’t know what to say.” Raven replied and looked to Octavia for confirmation.

Octavia nodded.

“Yeah, Clarke, I mean c’mon, it's Lexa and after all that shit went down, she had it out for you. What changed?”

They both turned and looked at her in curiosity and Clarke didn’t know how to answer. She didn't’ have a clue what happened out there.  All she knew was that she came to a realization and wanted to share it.

The next, Lexa was kissing her with everything she had and it was the best kiss Clarke can remember having. Clarke really had no idea what brought it on because as far as she knew Lexa didn’t like her no trusted her. Maybe it was just spur of the moment, maybe it didn’t mean the same to Lexa as it did her, but what Clarke knew _one_ thing for sure.

It was not a mistake.

Fingers were snapped in front of her bringing her out of her thoughts. Clarke hadn’t realized she spaced out and focused back on her friends.

“Sorry what?” Clarke asked. She saw her friends smile at her knowingly. “What are you smiling at?”

“You. You can’t stop smiling. That must have been one hell of a kiss,” Raven stared at her as she paced back and forth.

“It was,” Clare replied without thinking.

“Do tell,” Raven clapped her hands together.

“You can’t leave us hanging after dropping a bomb like that, spill it, Griff,” Octavia chimed in.

She sighed.

“It was after you all left. I...I don’t know. It must have been the adrenaline. I was telling her some stuff I’d realized after everything with the tornado.”

“Which was…?” Raven prompted her.

“Basically that I’ve been an idiot and that’s there’s more to life than just this job,” Clarke started, but was cut off.

“About fucking time you realized that,” Octavia piped in. “We’ve been trying to tell you that for years.”

Raven held up a hand.

“But that is not the subject at hand right now. Continue please.”

Clarke was surprised as Raven was never like this. Anya must have really mellowed her friend out. It was nice to see honestly. She loved that her best friends had found love and happiness because they deserved it. She wished she could find the same with Le...someone.

“She just grabbed me and kissed me. It was...the absolute last thing I thought Lexa would do. And after, she called our kiss a mistake.” She turned toward them. “But the way she kissed me...”

“Damn, no wonder it felt so frigid in there just now.”

“Do you think it was a mistake?” Raven asked.

“No, not at all.” Clarke meant what she said. She wanted to kiss Lexa again and again, but knew there was a slim to none chance of that happening. Clarke didn’t know what to think or feel at the moment. It was a lot to take in right now.

“I’m not trying to be mean here, but maybe it was the adrenaline coursing through you both. Maybe it didn’t mean as much to her as it did to you.” Octavia said as gently as possible.

“You weren’t there, you don’t know,” Clarke replied stubbornly, refusing to admit anything of the sort.

“You’re right, we weren’t, but I suggest you let it be for now. If anything is meant to happen between the two of you, it will.”

“Thank you.”

Octavia nodded.

“I told her I wouldn’t bring it up again unless she did, so for now we’re pretending it never happened.”

“It’s more like pretending neither of you exist to the other.”

Clarke smiled wistfully. “True, but I’m not going to force anything. I’m actually gonna head home. Will you make up an excuse for me, please?” Clarke asked.

She knew she shouldn’t run away, but being the same room as Lexa at the moment wasn’t a good idea right now. Clarke needed to go home and recharge and sleep.

“Sure, Clarke. We’re almost done anyways. Want us to come with you?”

Clarke waved them off.

“No, I’m good. I just want to be alone right now. I’ll see you both later.” Clarke hugged them both and headed off towards her apartment.

The entire walk home, the _only_ thing on her mind was Lexa.

-=-

When Raven and Octavia came back and Lexa noticed Clarke wasn’t with them, she felt a pang in her chest knowing that it had to do with her.  She didn’t blame Clarke though, afterall she was the one who kissed her then called it a mistake.

Lexa finally made her own excuses and headed home, choosing to call an uber because of her stupid cast instead of asking Anya. but that should come off in another week or so.

Lexa couldn’t wait.

The first thing Lexa did when she got home was pull down the whiskey bottle and pour a glass. It was needed after the day she had. Kissing Clarke was everything she never knew she always wanted. She didn’t know what people meant when they wrote kisses could be earth shattering, but she understood it then.

Lexa would be happy to have a repeat of it, but knew that wasn’t a smart idea.

Not at all.

It was a mistake, but not for the reason Clarke was probably thinking. It actually barely had anything to do with what transpired between them before with the stealing and tampering. (And that was alarming in its own right, that a pair of blue eyes had burrowed their way into her brain so deeply that she’d be willing to overlook something that had made her feel so betrayed.)

It had to do with Lexa herself. And Costia. And her number of other very short relationships.  

Lexa was hesitant to give anyone power over her again. The power to break her heart, to hurt her. It had happened more than once over the course of her life. It was not something she wanted a repeat of. It was safer to keep her heart locked up tight. It might be lonely at times, but at least there was no _chance_ of getting hurt again.

Costia had broken her heart and left her to pick up the pieces. And Lexa had been able to, until the woman was nothing but a memory and a cautionary tale, but with Clarke...the risk was even greater. Lexa knew, somehow, that the woman had the power to break her completely, not just her heart.

And it wasn’t like Lexa was even considering it.

She had a demanding job to do, storms to chase (even though she hated the term) and all that jazz. And for others that might not have been an impediment, but for Lexa it was. Truth be told, Lexa hadn’t balanced any of her relationships well, not just on the romantic front. She rarely saw her dad or the few friends she had. Anya she saw all the time because they worked together, but if they didn’t she wouldn’t have made time for her either. She sucked at maintaining any sort of personal relationships. And girlfriends were the worst part.

With Costia, she couldn’t manage a healthy balance between work and her relationship. With no compromise between them, the relationship had crumbled. Lexa had played her part in it, she knew that, but Costia had been the one to leave, not even giving her a chance to do better.

After that, Lexa threw herself into her work. She had no time for a relationship of any kind, anyway. She dated on and off, and had a few flings, but nothing substantial and that was the way she liked it. Or so she’d thought until Clarke came barging into her life. From one day to the next the woman had grown from a rival to a friend to someone whose arms she missed even if they’d mostly been wrapped around her in life-or-death situations. Whose lips she’d kissed on a whim, without a spare thought to all the promises she’d made herself late at night.

Lexa _couldn’t_ start anything with Clarke.

It would end badly for both of them, she was sure of it, but mostly her. Lexa had barely survived her first heartbreak, she wouldn’t survive a second one. Her heart wasn’t strong enough, not anymore.

Kissing Clarke was a spur of the moment decision. Lexa had been forced to stand back and watch her come too close to dying -again- and it had terrified her. She’d done the only thing she could think of to silence her raging thoughts. To kiss her, as passionately as she could.

That was the first mistake she’d made, thinking _one_ kiss would be enough. It wasn’t.

Now, Lexa didn’t know what to do. She was torn by her two sides warring against each other and she didn’t know which one to listen too. Lexa debated talking to Anya or Raven about what had transpired between them, but knew that wasn’t a good idea. Raven was Clarke’s best friend and Anya wasn’t a huge fan of her. Neither option would work.

Besides it’s not like she could actually start anything with Clarke. She didn’t trust her and she couldn’t have any sort of relationship with trust. It would never work even if she wanted to consider it. It wasn’t possible.

Could she learn to trust Clarke again? Probably, but it would take a lot of time and effort Lexa would need to invest and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to commit to anything like that. She wasn’t sure she would even be good for her even if she wanted to. She had tried so hard to be good for Costia and it was never enough.

Not for her, not for anyone. No one understood just how important her job was or understood the thrill of it. Hell nobody even really bothered to try. With Clarke though, it was different, she did the same job, Clarke got it without even trying because she lived it just like Lexa has.

There were so many variables, so many choices and Lexa didn’t know what way to turn.

She slammed back her glass and poured another, her mind racing with thoughts revolving around Clarke. The blonde was constantly on her mind even before the kiss and now after knowing what it was like to kiss her, there was no way of getting those images out of her head.

They were burned into her brain.

Lexa finished off her second glass and decided to call it night. She had too many thoughts rumbling around right now and couldn’t make sense of any of them. She needed to get a good night’s rest and start again in the morning.

Little did she know that a few blocks away, Clarke was in her bed doing the _exact_ same thing.

-=-

Clarke didn’t show up the next couple days and with no storms threatening, she knew she wouldn’t be needed. If she was, they knew how to get ahold of her. Clarke really hoped they didn’t as she was coming to terms with the kiss.

If she really let herself think about it and let her guard down, Clarke was hurt that Lexa considered it a mistake. Hell, maybe Lexa thought kissing her was awful and she really did regret it.

Fuck, Clarke got up and paced her living room.

Maybe what Raven and Octavia had said actually held some weight. Doubts were creeping in her head and it didn’t help she didn’t get a lot of sleep the last few nights. Instead kept tossing and turning.

She was hoping beyond hope that maybe Lexa would call or text. It was foolish she knew because in Lexa’s eyes it was a mistake. In Clarke’s eyes it wasn’t, but it was starting to to feel that way.

Clarke debated calling Lexa herself, but decided against it.

Maybe Clarke should give up hope considering everything that’s happened between them. It all came back to the choice she made. That was the only thing that made sense to her.  They had amazing chemistry, similar interests and a love for storms.

Plus the kiss _knocked_ her socks off.

If Clarke could take back what she did, she would. It was the worst decision of her entire life and she would regret it for the rest of her life. At the time she was desperate and stupid, looking back Clarke would never have made the same decision.

It all came back to it and seemed like Clarke could never get away from it, not that she thought she should, but in order to have a chance with Lexa, it couldn’t be hanging over her head like a storm cloud.

Beyond frustrated, Clarke decided to go for a walk in order to clear her head. She looked at her phone and saw a few missed messages from her friends, a missed call from her mom and social media alerts. Clarke chose to ignore them all and stuffed the phone into her pocket and headed out the door.

Her thoughts a jumbled mess.

Clarke wandered aimlessly for awhile and without realizing where she was going, she ended up at her spot that overlooked Polis. She hadn’t been her since she told Octavia just how cruel and manipulative Alie was.

Speaking of Alie, that was a whole other issue to worry about and Clarke smacked herself in the head because she still hadn’t told Lexa everything when it came to her boss.  She really needed to do that before Lexa thought she was hiding something again.

That was not something Clarke needed on her conscious right now. Not with _everything_ else.

Clarke didn’t know how long she sat there thinking, but it was long enough to see the sunset that washed over Polis. It lit up the sky orange and pink and Clarke was mesmerized by its beauty. It was absolutely stunning.

Clarke felt a presence behind her, and turned only to find Lexa standing there. The glow of the sunset lit her hair on fire. The sunset might have been stunning, but it had nothing on her.

They both were locked in a heated gaze after a few days without seeing each other.

Both were startled, obviously not expecting the other to be there. They continued to stare at one another, neither making a move to break the silence that surrounded them. Clarke honestly thought Lexa would turn around and walk away just in order to continue avoiding her.

When Lexa didn’t make a move. Clarke took the first step and spoke.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Lexa had made no motion to come any closer and Clarke was going to resort to asking. If Lexa wanted to stay than okay, if not then she wouldn’t stop her if Lexa tried to leave.  

“How are you?” Clarke hated the pleasantries, but didn’t know how to act around Lexa right now and thought the best way to approach it was cautiously.

Clarke watched Lexa shift from foot to foot nervously. It was different to see Lexa like this. In all the time she’d known her, Clarke had never seen her quite like this. It was different and endearing, but she felt a stab to her heart wondering what was to come.

She was still hurt that Lexa called their kiss a mistake.

Clarke was _hoping_ it was the start of something with them. The woman she’d been crushing on since the day she’d met her even though she didn’t realize it at the time caught up in her dislike of the brunette and all.

Clarke almost smiled at the memory, but figured it wouldn’t be well received at the moment.

“I’m okay. How are you?” Lexa had inched closer to the bench and Clarke slid farther down to give her room.

“I’ve been better,” Clarke answered honestly. Lexa just shook her head like she understood.

They lapsed into silence again and this time Clarke didn’t know what to say. Clarke turned away to look at the view again and it could have been seconds or minutes, but she felt Lexa sit down next to her and Clarke considered that a win.

“Is that because of...what happened?” Lexa asked tentatively, and Clarke glanced at her.

“What do you think?” she asked curtly. She didn’t want to be angry at Lexa, but the woman had turned her insides into a mess. She didn’t know where they stood, and she was hurt about her words, and worst of all -she just couldn’t control the way her heart rate shot up around her. Lexa might have thought their kiss was a mistake, but Clarke hadn’t gotten that memo.

“Right.”

Clarke looked away.

The sun was almost completely hidden now, only a few streams of pink still bleeding into the inky dark blue of the encroaching night.

“I’m sorry-”

“What are you apologizing for?” she asks, and she doesn’t mean to sound so harsh. “Kissing me? Because if I remember correctly I kissed you back. No apology needed.” Clarke shrugged. “Unless you’re apologizing because you didn’t mean it. You said it was a mistake, too. Is that what you’re apologizing for?” She hoped her answer was the last one. She wanted Lexa to see that that kiss -as oddly time and explosive as it had been- couldn't have been a mistake. There was _something_ between them. She’d accepted it. She only wanted Lexa to accept it too.

(Unless she was wrong, and all the signs she’d gotten from the woman, including that mind blowing kiss, had meant nothing at all.)

Lexa sighed, and Clarke felt her stomach flutter with nerves as she waited for her to talk.

“I did mean it, Clarke,” she said, her eyes on the skyline. It was getting so dark she could barely see the green in her gaze.

Clarke repressed a small smile. She’d actually admitted it and it shocked her.

“Then -”

“But it was a mistake all the same.”

Every hope she had _seeped_ out of her, like a balloon inside her chest had deflated.

“I don’t -I don’t understand.” Clarke hated feeling like this, so...dependant on someone else, but the truth was that Lexa’s next words were either going to make or break this.

“I meant to kiss you, in the moment. I was...worried, and scared, and I let an impulse control me. It can’t mean anything more than what it was. We...we can’t-”

“You don’t need to spell it out for me,” Clarke told her, feeling rejection sink in her bones. “It’s because of what I did, isn’t it?” Clarke asked, hating herself more than ever for being so stupid as to take her footage. “You hate me for it, and I can’t blame you-”

“I don’t.” Lexa reached out, her fingers closing around her wrist. “It’s behind us. I don’t hate you. It’s not because of you. It’s because of me, okay?”

Clarke tried to see through the lie, but Lexa looked honest.

“We could be friends,” Lexa offers, gently letting go of her arm.

Clarke nods, even though friendship is the last thing she felt when Lexa kissed her. She’d never quite felt so connected to someone before, and it seems such a waste of the fire she could feel between them, but she’d never push Lexa into anything.

“Okay. Of course.” She nods. “ _Friends_.”

-=-

The dejected look on Clarke’s face haunted Lexa as she made her way into her office.

She moved around her office and booted up her computers before she sunk down into her chair and held her head in her hands. A stress headache was forming behind her eyelids. The feel of Clarke’s silky skin was burned into her brain as well.

She thought she was doing the right thing.

Lexa had no time for a relationship even if it was with someone who understood and respected what she did. Clarke was in the same profession so she was guaranteed to get it, something no one had before, but... Her job was too important to have any distractions. She was doing everything in her power to save lives and a relationship would hinder that. Besides, Lexa knew she was awful at balancing her job and a girlfriend, regardless how perfect and beautiful Clarke was. It would be a _mistake_ to start anything with her.

The computer finally booted up and then she clicked on the last footage. Because she was so lucky, it happened to be of her and Clarke in front of that gorgeous tornado. She got caught up in Clarke’s breathtaking beauty and windswept hair, her blue eyes sparkling with mirth she’d only ever seen in the mirror before. She got it, more than anyone ever had. Lexa’s eyes shifted to her own image staring back at her.

She looked downright giddy.

It surprised her that she could look so happy. She loves her job, but it’d been a long time since she could forget all the pressures the station put on her and just enjoy it like she used to.

But when she looked closer, she realized she wasn’t smiling at the tornado at all.

She was _smiling_ at Clarke.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the extremely long wait. 
> 
> This chapter is long overdue. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.

* * *

 

The yellow blouse fell on her bed, on top of the previously discarded five or six shirts she’d already tried on.

She was almost ready. Her black slacks looked good, but Clarke wanted no needed just the right top to make them work. Clarke dug through her closet yet again, this time finding a silky blue top that Octavia had thought went well with her eyes. She pulled it on, and then looked in the mirror. She looked good, better, but still not right. Clarke shook her head, she didn’t know why she was putting so much effort into this.

It _wasn’t_ a date.

It was a work lunch, if that. She and Lexa had agreed that they needed to give their joint episodes more direction, and that they’d meet up beforehand every week to do so. This was simply that. Just because Clarke was really looking forward to seeing Lexa outside of work—even if the topic at hand was still work—didn’t mean it was anything more than a meeting. Certainly not a date. Friends didn’t do that, and they had decided to be friends. After their talk, Lexa had made it clear she wanted that and Clarke had quickly agreed because, well, it was better than nothing.

At least she pretended it was.

In reality, seeing Lexa now was harder because of the feelings she had lurking beneath the surface. Clarke had done an essay on alligators when she was in high school, and the thing she remembered the most was watching a video on the topic. Calm river waters, broken by the sudden appearance of an alligator when it was too late for the zebra to escape. Clarke felt like the metaphorical zebra. And her feelings were the aforementioned alligator. She wouldn’t call Lexa the alligator if only because thinking about Lexa eating her- yeah, no.

Clarke did her best to hide her feelings, but she couldn’t deny it was extremely hard. Especially now that she and Lexa were getting together at least once a week, and their lunches didn’t always stick to work talk.

She grabbed a red shirt and tugged it on, deciding at once that it was the one. Thirty minutes getting ready for a work date bordered on pathetic.

Clarke _knew_ she was definitely the zebra.

-=-

Walking into the Ark, Clarke looked around.

In the back, Clarke spotted Lexa at their usual booth and was happy to notice that Harper wasn’t on a shift. She couldn’t help but wonder what Harper would say if she knew Lexa had kissed her.

She smiled briefly at the thought.

Clarke started walking to the back, single minded in her determination to get to Lexa. The weather had been lovely the past couple of days, and that meant less work for them. However it meant, Clarke hadn’t seen Lexa much, and she had...missed her. Missed those eyes, missed her wit, missed her honesty...just generally missed her. Clarke kept her eyes focused straight ahead, so much so, she didn’t notice the waitress carrying a pitcher of water from the kitchen. Clarke stopped just short of knocking the thing out of her hands, and cringed as she looked to their table hoping Lexa hadn’t noticed. Clarke had no right to be this nervous around her. They were friends and this wasn’t a date no matter how much she might wish it was.

She hurried over to Lexa, who thankfully was distracted by her phone.

Clarke cleared her throat and Lexa looked up. She stood up to greet her, and before she could think too much about it, Clarke gave Lexa a quick hug. She did her best not to linger in her embrace. That definitely wouldn’t be appropriate considering they were trying to be friends. Clarke couldn’t help but inhale Lexa’s enticing scent, though, all earth and pine.

“Hey, it’s good to see you.”

Lexa gave her a smile.

“Hello, Clarke. It’s nice to see you too.”

Clarke sat down opposite Lexa and took a long look at her. She looked beautiful with her hair loose over her shoulder, eyeliner making her green eyes pop and a tight black v neck henley shirt that showed Lexa’s collarbone...and Clarke knew she had to stop thinking like that.

“I know it’s been a slow week. I actually thought about cancelling our meeting but-” Lexa shrugged. “I’ve come to enjoy this,” Lexa looked surprised at the words that slipped out, but smiled nonetheless, which reassured Clarke that she truly meant them. “I mean, spending time outside the office.”

“Of course,” Clarke conceded. “And yeah, it’s definitely been an off week, but I agree,” Clarke looked down. “It’s nice to spend time with you outside the field as well,” She swore she saw Lexa blush, and Clarke loved it.

She wasn’t the only zebra in the room, if only Lexa would just admit it. Clarke wasn’t alone in this. They could work. Maybe, probably.

It was at least _worth_ a shot.

The server interrupted them, breaking the moment, and they hurried to place their orders. Lexa ordered a BLT sandwich and an order of fries while Clarke ordered a cheeseburger and onion rings. She was in the mood for something greasy

She jotted them down and excused herself, leaving them alone again. Clarke turned back to Lexa, whose eyes were already on her. Paying attention. Honest. Open. The way Clarke had gotten used to lately. Ever since their talk, Lexa had started opening up bit by bit, and Clarke soaked it up like a sponge not wanting to forget any tidbit that Lexa shared. She enjoyed getting to know the real Lexa, the Lexa that hardly anyone got to see. She could feel how hard it was for Lexa to trust people, and the fact that she was slowly talking to her about things meant the _absolute_ world to her.

Clarke hoped it would continue so she could learn even more.

“I know we just saw each other a couple days ago, but anything new?” Lexa asked.

“Not really no. With us working together right now, I have a lot less on my plate. I’m enjoying it so far,” Clarke told her with a smile, which Lexa returned. Clarke could never get tired of being the one to cause that expression on her face.

“I’m glad,” Lexa told her. “And I agree. It’s...different, working with you, but in a good way. I like it. Mostly.” Lexa teased her.

Clarke gave her a questioning look, not sure what she meant. Was she making Lexa uncomfortable?

Lexa rolled her eyes.“It’s just I have to put up with two lovey dovey couples now, instead of one.”

Clarke internally blew out a sigh of relief.

“I know what you mean,” she said. She loved her friends, but Anya and Raven and Lincoln and Octavia did nothing, but remind her of how painfully lonely she was sometimes, “I haven’t been around either couple before and it’s enough to make me wanna puke,” she said, exaggerating. Lexa chuckled. “I mean honestly, they’ve been together long enough, they should be over the honeymoon phase by now.”

“You would think so,” Lexa laughed, and Clarke joined in.

It was so easy to do that with Lexa. She’d never really had this before, been with anyone who knew her friends, knew her work hours, who was up to date without her having to explain so she’d understand. With other people, Clarke had to explain the situation so they’d get her humor, while Lexa was already in on the joke. It was different. It was great. She just wished Lexa felt it too.

Clarke was about to reply when the door opened.

Usually she wouldn’t have given it much thought, but it was almost as though some sixth sense was telling her to turn back and pay attention. And it was right, since she did know the woman walking inside, her heels clicking on the linoleum floors.

Her boss.

Clarke froze seeing her. It was almost like the woman could sniff out fear, because she turned her head and caught Clarke’s eye. Clarke swallowed thickly. She’d almost forgotten Alie’s previous “suggestion”, and she hadn’t even thought about mentioning it to Lexa. But she knew what it would look like to Alie to see her like this, having lunch with Lexa in the corner booth of a restaurant.

Clarke was surprised Alie didn’t just take out her cell phone to snap a few pictures and sell them to the media herself.

“Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asked, concern clear in her voice.

“My boss,” Clarke said. “She’s here and she’s- uh, heading this way,” Clarke answered trying not to let her nerves get the best of her. She looked down, trying to get a grip, and when she looked up again, Alie was already upon them.

“Clarke, it’s nice to see you,” Alie turned and addressed Lexa. “Always a pleasure to see you as well, Miss Forrest.”

Clarke wanted to roll her eyes at the fake cheeriness in her tone, all too used to Alie’s schemes. What the hell was she doing here? As far as Clarke knew from previous interactions, this place was beneath her. Plus she had kept her weekly meetings with Lexa a strictly private affair, to _avoid_ just this.

“Hi, Miss Kennedy,” Clarke said, plastering a smile on her face. “I have to say I’m surprised to see you here,” she mentioned. Clarke met her eyes steadily. It was to much of a coincidence that she was here at the same time as her. Clarke just knew there had to be an ulterior motive to her just showing up like this. There always was when it came to her. She just didn’t know how Alie had known to find her—with Lexa—here.

“I heard good things about this place and wanted to check it out,” Alie smiled at her and Clarke bit back a sigh. “I will say, I’m glad to see you finally taking my advice. That’s great.”

Clarke raised her eyebrow.

“I mean, about the place,” Alie explained. “It’s a great restaurant, isn’t it? What do you think, Miss Forrest?”

Lexa looked up at Alie, obviously confused. She wasn’t included in the actual conversation taking place beneath their harmless words. Lexa answered politely, as always, and Clarke felt a spear of fear slice through her at the thought that someone as good as Lexa would think she was using her, like Alie _had_ wanted her to, like she’d just implied she was doing -for only Clarke’s ears.

There it was and Clarke knew that was exactly what she would think the second she walked in here. Damn her for trying to ruin one of the best things to happen in her life by her scheming. She really needed to come completely clean to Lexa about her boss.

She _should_ have done it sooner, and now Clarke hoped it wasn’t too late.

Clarke saw Lexa look back and forth between them clearly confused, but Clarke noticed by the tell tale clench of her jaw that she wanted to say something. She wished Lexa would since she couldn’t do it herself like she dreamed about every single day.

“I have to get going, but it was lovely to see you, Miss Forrest, and Clarke, I’ll be seeing you soon. Keep it up,” With that Alie turned on her heel and walked out without ordering anything, and Clarke knew the _only_ reason she’d come here was because of them.

Alie somehow had to have heard they were here. Clarke wished she knew who spilled the beans because she wanted to wring their neck...repeatedly.

Clarke looked worriedly back at Lexa who had been silent the entire time. Lexa looked mad and that scared her immensely. They were finally getting back on good terms and even though Clarke wanted more, she was content with what she had now. She was terrified that Alie was going to ruin it.

“Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m wondering what that was all about. She really didn't seem to be talking about the restaurant.”

Clarke looked away.

“It had something to do with me, didn’t it?” Lexa hit the nail right on the head and Clarke knew she would. She was insanely smart and Alie wasn’t near as subtle as she liked to think she was.

Clarke clenched her fists at her side and held her breath as she prepared to answer. Butterflies erupted in her stomach and not the good kind.

“Yes, it did. Listen, Alie is a horrible person and has been trying to manipulate me into doing what she wanted, but I refused. I keep refusing, but she doesn’t listen and just now, she thought I decided to take her advice, but I’m not. I didn’t. I would never. This isn’t what she thinks it is.”

“She wants you to use me, doesn’t she? Another way for her to gain ratings right? The special isn’t enough for her, she wants you to be seen with me outside of work.”

Clarke nodded.

“Was all this...for PR?” Lexa asked, and her tone of voice broke Clarke’s heart.

“Of course not!” She said, even knowing everything that had transpired between them—or maybe because of it—she was offended Lexa would even have to ask. “I’m here because I want to be. Because I’m your friend. But right after the bunker...Alie did tell me to spend more time with you. That it would look good on me, and the show.”

Lexa nodded. “But back then-”

“You had asked me for space, and I gave it to you. And I told Alie _no_ right off the bat. But even if you hadn’t asked for space, I would have kept my distance just so she wouldn’t think I was following her so called suggestions.”

“You aren’t keeping your distance now,” Lexa pointed out with a bite in her tone.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke told her. “And if it makes you uncomfortable because of what Alie suggested, or what people are saying online, or anything—we don’t even have to try and be friends. We can go back to what we were,” she said, even though it killed her to think about. “But I hope you won’t want to, because I- it seems I just can’t stay away from you.”

Nor do I want to, Clarke thought, but _didn’t_ voice.

-=-

Lexa was taken back by Clarke’s utter honesty and Lexa knew it was true because she could see that Clarke’s eyes were becoming glossy at the thought that she might not believe her. It was a lot to take in on top of everything else, but they were starting over with a clean slate. Lexa wanted that and knew Clarke wouldn’t jeopardize their friendship.

It was _just_ a feeling.

Spending time with Clarke these past couple weeks had been wonderful. It was so easy and fun with her and they had much more in common than just storms. It surprised her, but Lexa hadn’t really given it much thought before. She didn’t want this to end either, and all the little pieces that had been hinted at before by Clarke, Raven, and Octavia finally made sense.

It _all_ clicked.

Alie was the root of the problem now. From the few times she’d met the woman, Lexa could admit she didn’t get the best vibe from her. At first, she’d figured it was just because she was Clarke’s boss and therefore the enemy, but it wasn’t.

It was _more_.

Lexa remained silent and Clarke continued to ramble.

“Not that...not that I ever thought that we would get together, or anything like that. But it’s what she’d suggested and for me to take advantage of that and I just couldn’t,” Clarke wringed her hands together on top of the table.

The thought of them getting together, as in girlfriends sent a thrill through Lexa that she’d normally scoff at it, but lately, the idea was more and more intriguing. She didn’t voice that though because she didn’t want to give Clarke the wrong idea.

“No, I get it. I do. Thanks for telling me,” Lexa nodded once, still trying to get her thoughts in order.

“Okay,” Clarke sat back with a dejected look on her face.

“That’s a lot to digest, Clarke and I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but I have to ask a question. Why didn’t you want to do it? It would have helped you immensely and it seems like Alie usually gets what she wants.”

“There was never a chance I would have said yes. You mean too much to me to even consider it. I refused to be a part of her scheme. The thought of even saying yes never crossed my mind, I didn’t care what happened to me. I..I couldn’t do that to you. _Not_ again.”

“I believe you,” Lexa really did, and she watched relief spread across Clarke’s face at her words. Lexa smiled reassuringly. “You were trying to tell me all along about your boss, and I just didn’t want to hear it.”

“Yes, but I didn’t want to put all the blame on her and use it as an excuse because she had nothing to do with that decision. That was all me, but even after all that, she’s been putting more and more pressure on me and right now there’s nothing I can do if I want to keep my job.”

“I understand, Clarke, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen before,” Lexa took a deep breath, fidgeting in her seat, “It’s not easy for me to trust people. Growing up the way I did wasn’t easy. I was lonely and scared most of the time and I always felt like I needed to prove myself because I was in the system and I was always told I wouldn’t amount to anything.”

Clarke looked at her not with sympathy, but in awe and understanding and it felt almost _natural_ to share her past with her.

Lexa shook her head, her hands shaky as the memories washed over her, “If wasn’t for Anya there before and then Gustus, I don’t know where my life would have ended up. So I’m sorry. I should have at least heard you out before.”

She closed her eyes and tapped her fingers against the table. Lexa never opened up to people and the fact that it was so easy with Clarke scared her, but in a good way. It had never been like this with anyone else before besides Anya and Gustus.

It wasn't _even_ like this with Costia.

It spoke volumes to what Lexa was feeling, but Lexa wasn't sure she was ready to take the next step.

“It’s okay, Lexa. I knew that it would have sounded like an excuse before, and now the last thing I want you to think is that I’m using you for my own personal gain.”

“I know you’re not, Clarke, regardless of what your boss was accusing you off. I know you,” Lexa knew what she said was true because she may have opened up more since their talk, but so had Clarke. And getting to know the blonde better just solidified her feelings.

Lexa realized that if she admitted her feelings and they dated, nothing would really change, except she could kiss Clarke whenever she wanted—like she itched to do now.

“It means more to me than you know that you believe me, you’re my friend and I couldn’t hurt you like that...not again.” Clarke’s voice broke at the end and Lexa’s heart ached for her. She wanted to take Clarke in her arms to make it better and kiss away her tears.

She ached to do so, but didn’t want to give Clarke the wrong impression. She had been so patient and understanding throughout everything that it blew her away. Nobody, besides her family, had ever been there for her like Clarke. Clarke understood her and that meant everything to Lexa.

Clarke was quickly becoming a very important person in her life and the fact that Clarke was earning her trust back bit by bit helped a lot. The thing with Clarke, though, was that she wasn’t even trying, she was just being herself and that spoke highly of Clarke’s character because most would try too hard, but with Clarke, she truly didn’t think she’d earned her forgiveness or her trust.

Not _yet_.

-=-

“You’re my friend too, Clarke,” Lexa smiled her half smile and Clarke couldn’t help but smile back. Giddy with the fact that Lexa just called her a friend. That was more than Clarke ever dreamed possible, but at the same time, it wasn’t nearly enough with the feelings she had raging inside for the brunette.

“I never expected to hear those words from you,” Clarke teased and hoped she wasn’t taking it too far.

“Me either, but you continue to surprise me,” Lexa shook her head and laughed. The sound of Lexa’s laugh was like music to her ears and Clarke could listen to it again and again.

“I hope some of it is good,” Clarke’s smile dropped slightly thinking of before, but Lexa reached over and laid her hand on top of hers that had Clarke locking eyes with Lexa.

“Most of the time it is,” Lexa licked her lips and Clarke followed the motion, her mind drifting back to their kiss, “When you’re not driving me crazy.”

“It takes two to tango, Lex,” Clarke realized what she said after seeing Lexa blush scarlett. Clarke looked down at their hands, “I didn’t...I’m sorry...we...ummm…” She looked back up when she heard Lexa laugh again.

“I knew what you meant, Clarke,” Lexa squeezed her hand once and let go. Clarke missed it immediately.

Pulling her hand back, Clarke sat up straighter and took a sip of her coffee, “As much fun as this is for you…” She gave Lexa a look, but all Lexa did was smirk. She was happy to see that the devil incarnate aka her boss hadn’t ruined their lunch, “We should probably talk about our final episode together.”

“Right, we should,” Lexa leaned down and pulled out her notebook and laid it on the table in front of them, “I have some notes…”

Clarke smiled, “Of course you do,” She shook her head because Lexa was always prepared, most of the time over prepared, while Clarke never was and more often than not, she winged it. She couldn’t help but think that they truly did balance each other out and maybe one day...soon, she hoped, Lexa would see that and give her a chance.

If _only_ she could be that lucky.

She wasn't going to push though because she'd rather have Lexa in her life as a friend than nothing at all.

“Where do you want to start?” Clarke asked with a smile. Lexa’s pen rolled off the edge of the table and Clarke hurried to pick it up at the same time Lexa did and their heads banged together, “Shit!”

“Fuck!”

Clarke’s head whipped up hearing Lexa cuss, not used to hearing it from her. She forgot all about her head hurting as she stared down at Lexa, “Crap, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lexa rubbed her head, dangling the pen between her fingers. Clarke watched in awe as Lexa twirled it around almost like a knife. It was super sexy, she had to admit, “Thank you for asking.”

“Of course,” Clarke blushed trying to pull her thoughts back from the gutter, “I have to admit that I’m a little sad that I won’t be working with you anymore.”

Lexa’s eyes widened fractionally and she ducked her head for a minute, “Me too. Who knows...what could happen in the future with your station and all or mine for that matter.”

Was Lexa hinting at them possibly working together again? Clarke almost fist pumped, but luckily refrained herself from making a complete fool of herself.

“That’s true. We will just have to wait and see,” Clarke tried to hide her smile behind her cup of coffee, but knew she failed when Lexa smirked at her.

Being friends with Lexa was _certainly_ going to test her, but it was completely worth it.

-=-

The nerve of her boss calling and demanding she come to the office had Clarke fuming. She hung up the phone and cursed before making the walk to the station. Driving would have been quicker, but Clarke was done jumping at every whim of her boss.

If she didn’t have her job at stake, Clarke wouldn’t have shown up at all.

The station stood out like a sore thumb, something Clarke never really noticed before until she started working with Lexa. The building needed a new paint job, the grass was overgrown, no flowers were planted and the letters of the building indicating the channel were missing.

Clarke took a deep breath before she headed into what she now referred to as the pit of despair. She no longer looked forward to coming here and if she was honest with herself, she hadn’t in a long time.

Working with Lexa had opened her eyes and Clarke wanted to grab on and never let go.

Ignoring the looks of some of her coworkers especially Todd, Clarke made her way to Alie’s office where the door was cracked open. She knocked on the door before pushing it open to see Alie on the phone, but when she saw Clarke, she held up a finger with a smile.

Clarke nodded and leaned against the doorjamb, not wanting to go in until she absolutely had too. It didn’t take long for Alie to conclude her call before she motioned for Clarke to sit, but Clarke shook her head and instead came to stand behind the chair.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sit?” Alie smiled, but it never reached her eyes.

“I’m good,” Clarke’s fists were clenched at her side as Alie cocked her head to stare at her more intently.

“I just want to say, I’m so proud of you for following up on my suggestion. I knew you were stubborn in her resistance to do this, but I also knew you’d eventually come to your senses,” Alie clapped her hands together, “You know what’s best for you.”

“I’m not following your advice, Miss Kennedy,” Clarke stood her ground and resisted the urge to snap, instead keeping her voice level.

“You are though, and I’m happy to hear it. I had my doubts, but when I got reports that you were seen eating lunch with her and spending more time with her outside of filming. I was intrigued and had to see for myself.”

Clarke got the eerie feeling that Alie was following her or at least having someone follow her and did her best to keep her cool.

“I’m not sure what you’re implying,” Clarke’s bit her lip from exploding at the conniving bitch that was her boss, “I told you no and I meant it. You can tell whatever minions you have reporting back to you that. She’s my friend and I won’t betray her like that.”

“You’re so dramatic, Clarke,” Alie tsked and stood up with a half smirk, “I asked you to be seen out with her and that’s exactly what you’re doing. So you’re doing my bidding and you’re doing it well.”

“I’m not,” Clarke protested,”This isn’t a game.”

“If it was, I’d be winning,” The phone rang beside her and she looked down and Clarke stuck her tongue out childishly before Alie looked back at her, “That will be all, Miss Griffin.”

“But…” Clarke was cut off when Alie picked up the phone and turned her back on her effectively ending their conversation.

What a bitch, she thought before she left the office and almost slammed the door behind her, but didn’t want to give Alie the satisfaction.

Clarke left the station without a backwards glance, the gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that Alie wasn’t going to give up and that was a scary thought.

Who knew _what_ she’d do next.

-=-

The waiting room was full of people waiting to see the doctor just like her.

Lexa impatiently tapped her good foot on the tile surface as she waited for her turn. She thought it was stupid to have to go to the hospital to get her cast removed, but as long as it was removed, Lexa would wait regardless how long it took. Anya had dropped her off and would pick her up later.

Finally, the nurse appeared and called her name. She stood up, standing much more confidently with the crutches than she was when she first got them. She made her way towards her with a smile on her face.

“How are we doing today, Miss Forrest?” She gestured for her to go first. “Excited to get the cast off?”

“Yes, ma’am,” she said. That was the understatement of the century. “Very excited.”

Lexa hobbled forwards into room four and sat down on the exam table.

“I’m not sure which I’m happier about, the cast coming off or getting rid of the stupid crutches,” Lexa shrugged. She took her cell phone out, and snapped a quick picture of her leg to send it to Anya—and Clarke. Clarke answered her immediately with a couple of bomb and knife emojis, and the message ‘destroy that cast’. Lexa smiled.

She’d been _doing_ that a lot of that lately, ever since she started texting Clarke. It’d felt like the natural progression of their weekly meetups since they were working together, and it felt...right. It’d been a long time since she had a friend like her.

It’d made her steps considerably lighter recently, and she enjoyed the feeling immensely.

“I understand the feeling.” The nurse, Vera, patted her leg. “This shouldn’t take long, and I apologize for the long wait, we’re swamped today.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Lexa scooted back in order to elevate her leg.

“We appreciate that,” Vera nodded. “The doctor will be in shortly,” she told her. She left the room, closing the door and leaving Lexa to her thoughts.

Just the other day, she had lunch with Clarke and was already looking forward to the next one. It was the highlight of her week apart from the storms, which Clarke was still apart of with their special going on. She felt just a bit more awake when she was with her, and Lexa almost felt like she could get drunk off the feeling, live off of it forever. It was...it was what friendship, good friendship felt like.

She didn’t have to wait long before the doctor rushed in, and snapped Lexa out of her own head.

“I’m sorry for the wait.” He stepped forward and shook her hand. “Let’s get this cast off, shall we?”

“Yes, please,” Lexa leaned back and tried to get comfortable.

“Now, this is going to be loud, but I promise you it’s safe.” He took out a saw and started it up, the blades blurring with the movement. Lexa did her best not to move or flinch. She knew it wasn’t actually dangerous, but it was basic human instinct to be uncomfortable in the presence of spinning blades.

For a moment she wished someone was here with her. Anya, or Clarke—she shook her head, bracing for the feeling as the blade came in contact with the hard material of the cast. She shook the thought away. She was used to being alone, that didn’t have to change just because she’d found _someone_ she actually liked.

Lexa kept as still as possible while the doctor started to cut her cast off. He made two vertical cuts on each side and slowly peeled it apart.

“Do you want to keep it?” He asked as he handed it to her. “It can be a little smelly, but it could make a good keepsake.”

“No, I’m good.” She wrinkled her nose and looked down at her pale, thin, hairy leg. It almost didn’t look like her body. But at least it was free.

She smiled and went to stand, but the doctor held up a hand.

“Can’t I stand?”

“Not yet,” he said. “I’d like to check your leg first, and take an x-ray just in case. You’re going to have to be careful with this leg,” he warned. “It’s been a while so it’s not as strong as you’re used to, okay? You’ll get there with time and some physical therapy, but I don’t want you overexerting yourself. You could re-break this easily,” He poked and prodded at her leg, “does this hurt?”

“No, not at all,” Lexa replied and and crossed her arms. “When can I get the xray?”

“Right now. Fox will be right in. I think you’re good to go, but it’s a necessary precaution.” He excused himself and before the door even swung shut, Fox walked right in.

“Luckily we have a small machine here in the office so we can get this done in no time,” She wheeled the machine over and set it up—placing the the protective gear on in the process—before she briefly stepped out of the room to snap a couple photos. She put it up and stepped back, “Okay, all done,” She proceeded to remove the protective gear and made her way towards the door, “Almost done, I promise.”

“That’s good, I’m glad,” Lexa tried flexing her calf and found it very weak and knew it would take some time before it was completely healthy again.

“Okay, be right back, gonna get the doctor,” Fox stepped out.

Lexa let out a relieved breath and waited impatiently for the the doctor to get back. She just wanted to get out of here. She wanted to be more useful for her team instead of mostly sitting at the side like a sack of potatoes.

The doctor came in and looked at the scans and smiled brightly, “You are good to go, my dear.” He clapped his hands together, “Now, any questions for me?”

Lexa shook her head, “No, sir, none that I can think of,” She went to stand and this time, he didn’t stop her. She wobbled a bit, not used to putting pressure on her leg after so long. It was only a minor break, but it still took too long to heal properly in her opinion.

“Alright, take it easy, please, and don’t do anything too strenuous, I’d hate to see you back in here again, okay?” He smiled and shook her hand again, “Have a good day.”

“Thank you sir, you as well,” Lexa limped out of the room and towards the exit, excited to finally be free of the cast and get back to work in earnest.

She was most excited to be of use and not be a ball and chain to her team.

Plus she was _looking_ forward to seeing Clarke’s face when she saw her again on two legs.

-=-

Aggravated wasn’t a strong enough word for how Lexa was feeling. She paced up and down the sidewalk outside until her leg started to twinge, not used to having all her weight on it again. Moving over a bench, Lexa sat down with a frustrated sigh. Anya had promised to come back and pick her up after she helped Raven rearrange her work area. Knowing those two like she unfortunately did, they got sidetracked.

By each other.

Lexa could admit, she missed having a relationship like that.Then again, she never had that kind of relationship even with Costia. With her, it was all about her and what she needed. It was never fifty fifty and when Lexa stopped giving her what she wanted, Costia left. Lexa couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship like theirs.

Her mind _drifted_ to Clarke.

She smiled despite herself and pulled out her phone again to see no missed calls or texts from Anya. Lexa scowled and called her again, “This is ridiculous, An. You promised you’d be here. You are so paying for this.” Lexa made sure to make her displeasure known. She knew it was dramatic, but Anya had promised and not come through.

That was rare for Anya, she knew, but it still stung. Lexa scrolled through her contacts and passing by Clarke’s name, her heart skipped a beat before she moved past to Lincoln’s name, but remembered he was busy today. She scrolled back up and stopped on Clarke’s name again. Her finger hovered over her name, a smile coming unbidden to her lips.

She clicked on Clarke’s name and felt nerves erupt in her stomach. A feeling she never got with her ex and a feeling she knew had to do with calling her crush…not crush, just...Clarke. Lexa shook her head, not ready to go there quite yet.

It wasn’t but a minute later that Clarke’s voice floated through the line and her voice alone sent shivers down her spine.

“Hello,” Clarke answered the phone sounding out of breath.

“Hey, Clarke, it’s Lexa,” Lexa slapped a hand to her forehead. Of course Clarke would already know that, “I have a favor to ask if you’re not too busy…”

“What’s the favor?” Clarke interrupted and Lexa could hear shuffling, “Sorry I knocked a box over trying to find my phone.”

Lexa smiled, “That’s quite alright, Clarke,” She hesitated, “I’m sorry to bother you.”

“It’s okay, Lex. How can I help?” Clarke replied quickly, “You’re not bothering me at all.You never are,” Clarke said the last part so quietly, Lexa wasn’t sure she heard correctly, but couldn’t deny the flutter in her heart.

“Can you pick me up?” Lexa rushed out as she stood up to pace again. They were friends, but Lexa wasn’t sure if this would be okay. She knew she was overthinking it, but couldn’t help it. It was just her nature, “Anya was supposed to, but she got busy doing something supposedly.” She held her breath.

“Let me guess, Raven,” Clarke chuckled making Lexa smile as well, “But to answer your question, of course I can. I’ll leave now. Where you at?”

“Polis General, but are you sure?” Lexa replied.

“Yes, I’m happy too,” Lexa could hear Clarke’s tone change slightly.

“Are you sure?” Lexa wanted to double check because she could tell Clarke’s mood had dropped.

“Of course,” Clarke paused, “It’s just my mom works there,” She whispered.

‘Oh,” Lexa groaned softly, “I didn’t realize,” She remembered Clarke talking about her strained relationship with her mom, “I’m outside in the front if that helps.”

“It helps,” The relief in Clarke’s voice was palpable, “Thank you.”

“You’re doing me a favor so I should thank you,” Lexa smiled, happy that she could help in some way, but still felt bad that she was having Clarke come here. She was very grateful even though she knew she could grab a cab, but didn’t trust someone else driving she didn’t know. The headache wasn’t worth it.

Clarke was though

“It’s no problem at all,” Clarke sounded so genuine, it helped Lexa feel at ease having to ask, “See you soon.”

“See you,” Lexa smiled as the line disconnected. She was going to see Clarke sooner than anticipated and Lexa _couldn’t_ wait.

-=-

Clarke couldn’t help the giddy excitement she felt that Lexa had called her for a ride. Especially knowing that Lexa had other options.

She tried to school her features when she pulled up to the front of the hospital to see Lexa sitting kicked back on the bench. Clarke failed when Lexa looked up and saw her and Clarke watched a smile spread across Lexa’s face.

Lexa stood up and made her way towards her and Clarke spotted her walking on her leg. She jumped out of her truck and sprinted over to Lexa and scooped her up in a hug.

“You got your cast off!” Clarke picked her up and spun her around, “That’s great.”

“I know, it’s a little weird to be honest, but I’m happy its off,” Lexa giggled and Clarke swooned not expecting that sound from the stoic commander. She loved it.

“Me too,” Clarke put her down suddenly, suddenly nervous at her display of affection, but Lexa surprised her even more when she leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. It sent shivers down her spine and even after Lexa pulled back, Clarke could still feel the tingles Lexa’s kiss left on her cheek.

“Thank you for coming, really.”

“I was happy to,” Clarke shifted from foot to foot and couldn’t help her eyes darting to Lexa’s luscious lips, “Anytime you need anything, you can call me, Lex.”

“Good to know,” Lexa nodded with a half smile, “That goes both ways, Clarke.”

Every time Lexa _said_ her name, Clarke felt her heart beat just a little faster.

“Thanks,” Clarke looked behind Lexa to see the one person she didn’t want to see step out the doors. Her mother. She hadn’t seen her in six months and didn’t care to see her now. She locked eyes with her mother, but turned away from her, “Ready to get out of here?”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, but nodded, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke sighed as they made the short walk to her truck, “My mom just walked out and I don’t want to see her.”

“Oh shit,” Lexa walked quickly around and opened Clarke’s door, before she climbed into her side, “Let’s get out of here. Step on it,” Lexa grinned and happiness bloomed in her chest.

In the rearview mirror, Clarke watched her mom get smaller and smaller before she completely disappeared from sight. Normally she would be upset, but not with Lexa by her side.

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen,” Lexa said softly.

“Thank you,” Clarke reached over and in a burst of confidence, squeezed her hand, when she went to let go, Lexa held on and pulled their joined hands into her lap.

Clarke had a smile on her face the _entire_ way to Lexa’s apartment.

-=-

The shrill of her phone had Clarke stumbling half naked into the living room looking for the blasted thing. Her apartment was in dire need of cleaning, but knew she would have to find the time later. Or better yet, hire someone it needed. She dug around in the couch and looked on the coffee table before finding it underneath the couch. Clarke scowled at her phone ready to cuss whoever it was for waking her out of a very pleasant dream.

The scowl was replaced by a smile when she saw the name on her screen.

_Lexa._

She swiped to answer it and before she could get a word out, Lexa barrelled over her.

“Clarke, I’ve been calling for the last twenty minutes, are you okay?” Lexa demanded through the phone. Normally, Clarke wouldn’t like Lexa’s tone of voice, but she could hear the worry that seeped into her tone.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I was sleeping and didn’t hear my alarm go off. What’s going on?” She struggled to throw on a bra and a shirt and tripped over her feet as she tried to put on pants. The phone crashed to the floor, but luckily didn’t break. She sighed in relief and picked it up to Lexa still talking.

“...calling and calling and there’s a storm two hours away. Everyone else has already headed out, but I’ll be at your place in ten minutes. Be ready, please. This is our final episode together, so we need to make it perfect,” Lexa huffed slightly, a door slam was heard, “See you soon,” The phone went dead before Clarke could get another word in. Clarke smiled, but it quickly fell when what Lexa said clicked.

It was _their_ last show.

Clarke took a deep breath and held her phone a second longer. She didn’t want to say goodbye and hoped that even after the special ended, Lexa would want to continue their budding friendship. Clarke sure hoped so.

She thought back on all of it. It had become a sort of routine after that meet up that day at the bench, aside from their weekly lunches. They opted to ride together much to the amusement of their friends. It had only started when Clarke had tried to start the news truck and it wouldn’t. Clarke had to call Lexa because Octavia had been with Lincoln and Raven hadn’t answered.

Lexa had come to the rescue.

It evolved to every storm and neither questioned it, it just sort of happened.

She smiled at the thought of seeing Lexa again even though it hadn’t been a week. Clarke missed her. She grabbed her stuff quickly along with her keys and wallet. She looked around one last time to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything important before she slammed the door, locked it and hurried down the steps.

The sky was dark and hinted at rain, but Clarke knew the eye of the storm wasn’t here yet. It was a couple hours away according to Lexa. She smiled up at the dark grey clouds and breathed in the crisp cool air letting in infiltrate her lungs.

It _was_ beautiful.

A couple minutes later, Lexa pulled up and squealed to a stop.

Clarke shook her head and climbed in, “You said ten minutes,” Clarke laughed when Lexa peeled off much like she was prone to do.

“Yeah I did, but we’re running slightly behind,” Lexa shot her a look, “thanks to somebody...” Lexa kept her eyes on the road. Before Clarke would have taken offense and come back with a smartass remark, but now she just laughed because Clarke knew Lexa was teasing.

“You interrupted my beauty sleep, I need that,” Clarke teased back or was it flirting? She didn’t know nor care at the moment.

“No you don’t, you’re already beautiful,” Lexa replied back before she froze and Clarke saw her grip tighten on the wheel.

“Thank you, Lex,” Clarke’s heart started to beat rapidly in her chest and she didn’t think her smile could get any bigger, but with Lexa’s offhanded compliment, it did.

“You’re welcome,” Lexa mumbled and flipped on the radio that was tuned to her favorite station that mostly played pop music, which Lexa wasn’t into. It pleased her to know Lexa listened to it when she wasn’t in the car.

“Nice choice of music,” Clarke drawled, biting her lip as she watched Lexa fumble to change it, but Clarke reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her, “It’s okay, I like it,” As much as Clarke wanted to keep Lexa’s hand in hers, she didn’t. Giving it a squeeze, she let go and put her hands in her lap and clasped them together tightly so she didn’t reach out again like she ached to do.

“It may or may not have grown on me a little,” Lexa admitted, “I mean it’s not classic rock or anything, but not half bad.”

“Whatever you say, Lex,” Clarke looked at Lexa’s profile and once again was struck by her beauty, she was undeniably attractive, but she was also so much more than that. Loyal, kind, smart, thoughtful, just an all round genuine person and to think Clarke almost screwed it all up with her stupid choice, “This is good music,” Clarke defended.

“It’s not half bad, but it has nothing on Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Styx or the Rolling Stones. I mean c’mon, you can’t say those aren’t better bands than what’s out now,” Lexa argued and the way her eyes lit up, made Clarke swoon.

“I mean they are classic for a reason, but old school. There are some good artists out now, you just have to give them a chance,” Clarke fired back with a grin.

“I have given them a chance, Clarke,” Lexa groaned out, “It’s really hard to like them.”

Clarke slanted her a look, “If that’s true, why was it on my favorite station still when I haven’t been the car in over a week?”

Lexa flushed red and stuttered out, “I mean...I...Anya...she...I haven’t been in this vehicle much,” She finally settled on, but Clarke knew she was lying.

“I’m sure that’s true,” Clarke settled back in her seat and let the familiar music of Pink flood through the van.

It was the most relaxed she’d been in a long time and Clarke knew it _all_ had to do with Lexa.

-=-

By the time they arrived, their teams were already mostly set up, Raven’s baby was in place and the camera crew that was filming them were huddled close together with their cameras on their shoulders.

Lexa loved the feeling as she hopped out of the driver’s seat with Clarke following right behind her.

“Lex…” Lexa turned at the sound of her name, “Remember to take it easy,” Clarke had a grip on her forearm. Not long ago, Lexa would have ripped her arm free with a biting comment and not shown any weakness. Now, she met Clarke’s penetrating blue gaze filled with concern and nodded instead.

“I’ll do my best, Clarke,” Lexa meant it as a promise because nobody could ever predict what could happen. She turned to grasp her forearm in return and they stood with their eyes locked for a few moments.

Lexa let go and moved to catch up with Anya and Lincoln, but Clarke had stayed close and she heard Clarke whisper her thanks in her ear. She couldn’t help the shiver that ran down her spine. She nodded once again and watched Clarke dart over to Octavia and Raven.

She was so _caught_ up in watching Clarke interact with her friends, she didn’t hear Anya talking to her. A slap to the shoulder had her turning and glaring at her best friend.

“What?” Lexa was annoyed and didn’t realize she said as loudly as she did until everyone turned to look at her. She waved them away and shot another glare at Anya.

“I see you still have the hots for blondie,” Anya scoffed not even bothering to hide her disdain. Lexa rolled her eyes because she knew if Raven was around, Anya wouldn’t be saying any of this.

“Anya,” Lexa warned, “I thought you were going to give her a chance.”

“I am, but that doesn’t mean I want to see you get hurt either,” Anya leaned back against the van crossing her ankles and huffing out a deep breath.

“Thank you for your concern, but I can take care of myself,” Lexa had a bite to her tone and knew it, but they had already had this conversation multiple times She didn’t care for a repeat performance especially when she was in such a good mood. Not having her cast on, a tornado brewing and Clarke...by her side.

Lexa very much enjoyed that fact.

Looking over, Lexa saw Clarke standing there with her hands on her hips as she stared at the swirling, dark sky. A huge contrast to what it was at home. Lexa felt a pang in her chest, knowing it was their last joint episode and found herself not looking forward to going back to working without Clarke by her side. They balanced out each other well. Lexa shook her head and decided not to let it get to her.

At least not today.

“I know you can, Lex,” Anya mumbled under her breath.

“Glad you know,” Lexa gave Anya a look before starting to walk off, but much like Clarke did, Anya grabbed her arm and held her in place, “you’re right. I’m sorry.”

Lexa nodded swiftly, softening slightly, “Thank you.”

“We good?” Anya asked.

“We are,” Lexa smiled and wrapped an arm around her best friend’s shoulder, “Ass.”

“Jerk,” Anya nudged her shoulder, “Let’s do this,” Anya pointed to the clouds starting to lower which meant a tornado was right in the works.

“Sounds perfect,” The anticipation spread throughout as she scrambled to get into position where she would have her back to the storm and facing the cameras. The van, truck and news crew van were parked in a line on one side farther away from the storm, but not too far in case they needed to get to them quickly. The wind had started to pick up and Lexa _knew_ it was showtime.

Lexa locked eyes with Clarke and found the same excitement mirrored in her blue eyes.

It only made her smile grow.

Her leg twinged when she turned too fast to make sure everyone was in position, but ignored it hoping nobody else noticed. Lexa sighed in relief when nobody was paying attention to her.

Except Clarke.

Lexa smiled reassuringly at her, but Clarke only narrowed her eyes in concern. She shook her head to indicate she was fine, but could tell Clarke didn’t buy it. Giving up, Lexa mouthed later and Clarke finally nodded her head in agreement.

She stood next to Clarke and looked around again. Lexa spotted Anya and Raven standing next to the van while Raven typed furiously on her laptop. Both Lincoln and Octavia had their cameras at the ready while the hired camera crew stayed farther back, obviously content with shooting from distance. When Lexa had questioned them before, they both told her they felt safer and could always zoom in if needed.

“Ready for our last episode?” Clarke asked with her hair whipping around her face. Of course Clarke still wouldn’t put it up in bun or anything.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Lexa tried to keep the wistfulness out of her tone, but knew she failed when Clarke arched an eyebrow. Luckily Clarke didn’t question which Lexa was grateful for, “Are you?”

“Yeah...yeah I am…” Clarke’s eyes darted around and Lexa got the feeling she wasn’t the only one disappointed about not working together anymore. Clarke had mentioned it at lunch, but Lexa had thought she was just being nice.

Now she wasn’t so sure.

“You want to start us out this time, Clarke?” Lexa asked pushing a strand of her back behind her ear that had slipped from her ponytail. Normally, she did, but it felt right to let Clarke take the lead this time.

Clarke’s eyes widened, “Thanks, Lex. You sure?” She whispered and Lexa’s smile bloomed brighter.

“Yes, without a doubt,” Lexa’s gaze darted to Clarke’s lips and back, but noticed Clarke was staring at her lips as well. Without thinking, Lexa leaned in closer…

“We are ready in 3...2...1…” Lincoln pointed to let them know it was recording. Lexa reared back, face flushed in embarrassment as Clarke started talking. Did she really almost kiss Clarke on camera? She shook her head and tried to hide her flaming cheeks. She had completely lost focus of where they were and that never happened.

Clarke had almost _completely_ distracted her from a storm and that never happened.

“This is Clarke Griffin here waiting for this beautiful tornado to touch down. Beside me is the ever beautiful, and great Lexa Forrest who I’ve had the privilege of working beside for the last few weeks.” Clarke winked at her and Lexa’s blush deepened and knew it was obvious because Anya snickered and so did Raven.

At least, Lexa knew she could edit it out later if needed it.

“Thanks, Clarke,” Lexa lost her train of thought she looked back at Clarke who was biting her lip mischievously. Lexa almost groaned and had to swallow thickly trying to keep her emotions in check.

“I have to say, Lexa,” Clarke made sure to lock eyes with her and putting her back to the cameras blocking Lexa’s reactions, “It’s truly been an honor working with you.”

Lexa’s mouth dropped open in surprise and couldn’t help but think for a split second that it was a joke. All she saw though in Clarke’s eyes was honesty and a little fear.

She took a deep breath, trying to keep her blush under control, “it’s been a pleasure working with you too, Clarke,” Lexa meant it and her gaze drifted to Clarke’s lips again, getting slightly distracted, but shook her head slightly to focus on the task at hand. She took a step forward and made sure they were both facing the cameras again. Lexa glanced over her shoulder, “Let’s see what we have going on behind us…”

“There’s what we call a wall cloud and the storm is a supercell thunderstorm where we predict a tornado will form.”

Clarke looked back as well and they both watched the rotating clouds start to lower. Lexa stepped back as the tornado started to form and finally touched down about a mile away, “What we have here is a tornadic waterspout. It is a very powerful tornado that is often associated with severe thunderstorms like this,” She now had her back turned to the camera, but craned her neck to be heard over the wind.

“It shouldn’t last long, only a couple of minutes or so,” Clarke agreed and stepped towards the cameras to be heard, but Lexa stayed rooted to her spot, “From the size, I’m classifying it as a F1 maybe F2, what do you think, Lexa?”

“Take the size with the strength of the wind, I would say F2. Look at the rotating column of air which is the cyclone as it spins towards us going about 100 miles per hour.”

“It is nature at its most ferocious,” Clarke yelled to be heard as the sound of the wind was as loud as a train crashing through town. Lexa’s ears popped as well as everyone else’s by the looks of it.

The wind was howling, the air freezing and Lexa had never felt more alive. Lexa, in a moment of courage took a couple steps backwards. She had to admit there was a thrill in the unknown and could see why Clarke thrived on it. Her heart was pounding, blood was pumping and her adrenaline spiked, but fear still coursed through her.

“Mother nature at it’s finest,” Lexa yelled to be heard and smiled at Clarke who hadn’t moved an inch. Lincoln and Octavia followed, but the camera crew only took a few steps before stopping, “Isn’t this wonderful?” She raised her hands above her head and took a deep breath.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Raven jump up and down and assumed they placed Raven’s masterpiece correctly. She saw Anya lean in to kiss her and her eyes went immediately to Clarke who was watching her with a grin. Lexa crooked her finger at her, but Clarke waved her away with a shake of her head. Lexa pouted, but Clarke didn’t budge. Lexa was happy and sad all at the same time because she really wanted to experience this rush with Clarke by her side, but the fact that Clarke didn’t meant she was trying to _keep_ her promise.

Lexa took a few more steps backward.

She spun around in a circle, pulling out her hand held camera and started filming on her own, more up close and personal, it was terrifying, but the shot would be worth it, Lexa knew. Cracks split through the air as tree after tree was uprooted and a couple roofs off houses in the distance were ripped off. It sounded like multiple firecrackers going off one by one. Lexa briefly thought she heard yelling, but was completely zoned out watching it all unfold through her tiny camera.

What Lexa saw through it had her looking up and her face draining of color.

Another tornado was forming rapidly much closer than the first. Lexa stood transfixed as it was a rare sight to see two at once. Lexa was beyond excited that she captured it on camera, but at the same time, Lexa realized suddenly that she needed to move if she wanted to survive.

She _wanted_ to live.

“Run, Lexa, Run!” Clarke screamed and made her way towards her. Lexa shook her head and took off at a sprint, “Faster! Run faster!” The fear in Clarke’s voice was palpable. Lexa pushed herself to go faster when she saw everyone else waving frantically, but her leg buckled and she went down hard on her newly healed leg. Lexa cried out in pain and held her leg tight against her.

“Fuck!” Lexa ducked when a piece of fence went swirling by her head and tried to stand upright, but fell over again and would have face planted if it wasn’t for Clarke appearing next to her almost out of thin air and catching her.

It was deja vu all over again. Only this time, she wasn’t pissed with Clarke. Not in the least.  
The tornado that just touched down was just an F1 from her calculations, but Lexa knew it could still be deadly. They needed to move now, “We need to get farther away,” Lexa grimaced as she took a step, but Clarke held most of her weight.

“I know we do,” Clarke shouted and they both stumbled towards their friends that were rushing as fast as they could towards them with the wind shoving them back every step.

Suddenly the wind died down and the tornadoes dissipated as rapidly as they appeared. Almost like they were never there. It might have been believable if it wasn't for the damage they had left behind to a couple houses and the surrounding area. It was eerily quiet and the sky started to lighten up before a sporadic rain shower dumped on their heads.

Lexa couldn’t help but laugh as Clarke gave her a look along with everyone else. She shrugged her shoulders and brushed her wet hair back from her face. The rain was refreshing and her leg didn’t hurt at the moment. The best part was having Clarke beside her.

That was something that Lexa found herself craving.

She took in the her surroundings and her smile dimmed slightly, The downside of such deadly storms. No matter how beautiful there was always a consequence. Lexa realized in that moment that life was too short not to say how you feel. She’d been scared and stubborn, but not anymore. Lexa was finally ready to take the risk.

To be _with_ Clarke.

-=-

When the ambulance pulled up on the side of the road, the lights flashing and Lexa rolled her eyes. She had been forced to sit in a chair with her leg propped up and her head leaning back against it as she took in the sky. Clarke stood next to her with a hand on her shoulder and Lexa revealed in the warmth her hand provided. Lexa could still feel Clarke’s excitement from their filming and it vibrated through her because the high still hadn’t wore off.

The rain had cleared leaving behind a beautiful rainbow that Lexa couldn’t help but smile at even though her friends were being ridiculous. She had tried to argue that she was okay, but her friends didn’t believe her. Instead they gave her stern looks that booked no argument. Lexa huffed, but kept her mouth shut.

Two paramedics rushed over and Lexa sighed knowing there was no way she was getting out of this. Still, Lexa tried to wave them off, “I’m sorry you were called, but I’m…” Lexa was cut off by Anya.

“She’s not okay. She just got her cast off a couple days ago and she took a nasty fall and possibly reinjured it,” Anya directed a glare at her.

“Okay, well if everyone could step back and give us room,” Lexa watched as the paramedics were given a wide berth, “My partner and I will assess,” The guy had to be early twenties with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He was kinda scrawny for a paramedic, but at least he had kind eyes unlike his partner. According to his nametag, his name was Atom. He seemed okay, but the other one who had dirty blonde close cropped hair that fell over his brown eyes that were currently lingering on Clarke. Lexa looked down to see his name was Dax. She clenched her jaw as Atom approached and Dax finally followed after one long look at Clarke and a wink.

What a stupid name she thought. It was petty, but she didn’t care.

“I’m really okay,” Lexa mumbled lowly when everyone had stepped back and was out of earshot, “I think I just overextended it is all.”

“We’ll be the judge of that, ma’am,” Dax spoke up as he opened his bag and Lexa wanted to rip his hand off her when he touched her leg.

Asshole.

Atom on the other hand was timid, but nice as he checked her blood pressure and took her pulse. He asked before he touched her unlike the other who kept moving her leg every which way and asking if it hurt.

_Idiot._

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Clarke lingering by the van close to her. When they locked eyes, Lexa smiled and Clarke came closer.

“What’s the verdict, Lex?” Clarke’s eyes were filled with worry and if she needed even more convincing that the risk was worth it, Clarke just gave it to her.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Lexa did her best to reassure her, hating the somber look in her eyes and she fidgeted with her fingers. Lexa reached out and took her hand in hers and squeezed before letting go.

“Actually,” Dax interrupted, “We won’t know for sure until we get x rays and let the professionals determine it,” He pressed right on the spot that hurt and Lexa swore she saw a smirk on his slimy face when she yelped in pain. Lexa grimaced because the last thing she wanted to do was go back to the hospital.

“He’s right, I’m sorry,” Atom held out his hand and Lexa took it and hauled herself up, Clarke stepped back to give them room, “Let’s get you on the stretcher and loaded up. The sooner we go, the sooner you can be done,” He smiled.

Lexa mirrored his with a small one of his own, but her eyes locked with Clarke’s and she smiled at her. Lexa was rewarded with a small one back before she climbed onto the stretcher and was strapped in which she didn’t think was necessary.

Atom leaned in close to her ear, “I’m sorry about my partner, he’s an ass, I know.”

“Not your fault,” Lexa nodded, “but thank you.”

The stretcher started to move and Lexa leaned back against it rubbing a hand between her eyes. She opened them when she heard the crunch of gravel and saw Clarke stride forward.

“I’m going with you,” Lexa was about to reply, but once again Dax beat her to it.

“Actually, that’s not allowed unless your immediate family, pretty girl,” he smiled and stepped closer to her. Lexa grit her teeth, but exhaled when she saw Clarke take a step back, “You can ride up front with me though, I won’t tell,” his hand trailed down Clarke’s arm and Lexa clenched her fists.

That guy had _some_ nerve.

Clarke’s face scrunched up in disgust. Lexa made to unbuckle herself, but instead watched as Dax stepped closer, “Listen closely, don’t call me that, and if you think for a second that you’re going to stop me from riding with her, you’re sadly mistaken. You’re out of your mind to think I’d get anywhere near you by choice and there is no way in hell I’m leaving her alone with you,” Clarke spit out the last word like venom, “Move now!”

Dax stepped aside and Clarke gave him one last glare before moving over to her. Lexa watched Clarke’s eyes softened immensely when her gaze landed on her. “I’m not leaving you alone with him, Commander,” The look Clarke was giving her was making her feel all warm and gooey inside. Clarke’s hand was on the edge of the stretcher and just as Lexa reached for her hand, the rest of their friends chose that moment to come back over. She noticed that everything had been packed up and the camera crew van was pulling away.

“What’s going on?” Anya asked looking back and forth between them and glaring over at Dax before looking at them again, “Everything okay?”

Lexa nodded not wanting to worry her, but knowing her friend like she did, Anya would worry anyway.

“Why they taking you to the hospital if everything is okay?” Raven asked holding tightly onto Anya’s hand, Lexa noticed.

“For precaution probably,” Octavia fired back, “Duh.”

“Shut up, O,” Raven grumbled.

“Easy, babe,” Lincoln put a hand on Octavia’s shoulder, “They are worried.”

“I told you the ambulance wasn’t needed,” Lexa grumbled.

“I was worried, sue me,” Anya barked out and Lexa knew it too be true. They had been through basically everything together and Lexa knew it bothered Anya whenever she got hurt whether it be physically or emotionally.

“I know and I appreciate it,” Lexa smiled to let her best friend know it was okay.

“I’m going with her,” Clarke voiced and Lexa watched eight pairs of eyes turned to look at her, “We’ll meet you at the hospital,” Clarke looked at each of them before walking the few feet to stand in front of the open doors of the ambulance.

“You heard her,” Lexa nodded, “See you soon,” Lexa waved as Atom and Dax loaded her up, “It’s just a precaution okay,” Lexa called out, “All good.”

Clarke climbed in right after her and the last thing Lexa saw was the rest of them just standing there with looks of confusion on most of their faces, but what stood out the most was the worry on Anya’s face. She locked eyes with her and nodded to show her she really was okay. The last thing she saw before the doors closed was Anya’s look of relief.

Now it was just her and Atom for the half hour drive to the hospital. Give or take.

And Clarke, Lexa could never forget about Clarke.

It was silent for the first half of the drive. Lexa’s leg throbbed slightly, and she prayed she didn’t make it worse. She closed her eyes and sighed, but her eyes snapped open when she felt pressure against her hand. Lexa bit back a smile when she saw Clarke’s hand in hers. Lexa looked up and met watery blue eyes that Lexa ached to brush away.

“What were you thinking?” Clarke asked, voice cracking.

“I _really_ wanted the shot,” Lexa mumbled under her breath knowing they weren’t alone.

“You sound like me,” Clarke laughed wetly and squeezed her hand.

“Maybe we’re _not_ that different,” Lexa kept her eyes on Clarke’s to see the slight widening of her pupils.

“Maybe we’re not,” Clarke leaned in closer and Lexa sucked in a deep breath and licked her lips. She didn’t even feel the ambulance come to a stop, but when the doors opened loudly and Dax stood there with his arms crossed taking in the scene.

“Fucker,” Lexa breathed out, but knew Clarke heard when she cracked a small smile. Lexa knew she still wanted to talk to Clarke and knew she didn’t have time right now so she held onto her hand tighter, “Stay, please.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Clarke promised and leaned in to kiss her cheek, but it was closer to the corner of her lips than her cheek, but Lexa wasn’t complaining.

“Thank you,” Lexa reluctantly let go of her hand and motioned for Atom to carry on.

All she wanted to do was talk to Clarke alone.

-=-

A whirlwind of emotions were running through her and Clarke couldn’t even begin to sort them out.

Sitting in the waiting room of the hospital was not her favorite place; the hard plastic chairs, the boring magazines, the t.v. always playing low hung on a wall in the corner ...and the smell of sanitizer. There were always at least a half dozen people in here. And she had too many memories of sitting in the waiting room when she was a kid and her mom had to work. Clarke had spent more time in them than she had wanted too and now hated the hospital.

This time was different, Clarke kept telling herself. This _was_ for Lexa.

She had promised Lexa she’d wait and that was what she intended to do no matter how long it took. Clarke knew she wasn’t just referring to how long she’d been waiting, but Clarke also meant for Lexa herself.

Lexa was more than worth the wait in every way.

She couldn’t sit still and her bladder was screaming at her for release. Clarke didn’t want to go far, but knew she needed to get to the restroom and quickly made her way to the hallway that she knew they were.

The restroom was empty, Clarke made quick work of emptying her bladder and washing her hands before she darted out in her rush to get back to the waiting room she ran right into someone. If she was thinking clearly, Clarke would have realized they had to have been standing right outside the door, but Clarke’s thoughts were all over the place.

Clarke looked up to apologize and scowled when she saw who it was.

“What do you want?”

“Don’t be like that, sweetheart,” Dax smiled, “I wanted to see you after our moment.”

“There was no moment,” Clarke rolled her eyes. This guy was fucking crazy for even thinking that.

“Sure there was, I saw the way you looking at me,” Dax cooed and Clarke had to bit her lip from yelling at him.

“You’re dreaming, I was concerned about my friend. Get away from me,” Clarke pushed him back, but he didn’t budge.

He reached to cup her cheek, but Clarke jerked back. “Don’t touch me,” Clarke growled and gripped his hand tightly in hers. She squeezed harder, but it only made him grin. She dropped his hand and stepped back, but he stepped forward and caged her in with his arms on either side of her.

“Relax, I just want to talk,” Dax whispered as he leaned in closer and Clarke could smell the alcohol on his breath, “You’re sexy as hell, you know that,” He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against him, but Clarke reared her hand back and punched him square in the nose. She heard a crunch and blood spurted from his nose, “What the fuck?” He cried out in pain.

She wiped the blood on her hand off on her jeans, her hand throbbed, but she ignored it. “I told you not to touch me,” Clarke wanted to kick him, but didn’t, “That was for me and Lexa, you fucking asshole.”

“I’ll sue you for assault,” Dax threatened as he held a bloody hand to his nose.

“Go ahead and try and I’ll let them know you’ve been drinking on the job and made inappropriate advances towards me,” Clarke grinned victoriously when he face paled, “Fuck you very much.” With that Clarke turned on her heel and made her way back to the waiting room, hearing Dax curse her, but all she did was smile, feeling satisfied that the fucker got what he deserved.

She settled back down in the same spot as before and continued to _wait_ for Lexa.

Clarke was so lost in thought especially after running into Dax, she had completely lost track of how long she’d been sitting there. She had felt her phone buzzing multiple times, but never bothered to check it. Every time the door opened, Clarke looked up, but it was never Lexa. When the doors opened again, Clarke hoped it was her, but instead her friends walked in. Clarke couldn’t help but feel disappointed. She needed to see Lexa.

“Clarke!” Raven yelled, but was immediately shushed by the nurse behind the desk, “Why haven’t you been answering your phone!” Raven hissed with her hands on her hips, “We’ve been worried sick.”

“Sorry,” Clarke looked up just in time for Octavia to yank her up and give her a bone crushing hug. Raven, not to be left out engulfed them in a hug as well.

Clarke laughed and held on tight for a moment longer before she acknowledged Lincoln and Anya who stood off to the side.

“How is she?” Anya asked gruffly.

“I don’t know yet, I’ve been here for awhile and haven’t heard anything,” Clarke sat back down on the uncomfortable green plastic chair. She saw the rest of them make themselves comfortable too.

“She’ll be fine,” Lincoln spoke from his seat across from Clarke, “It’s Lexa, she’s strong.”

“She is, that’s true,” Raven smiled, but Clarke saw her take Anya’s hand in such a familiar gesture, it made her long for that connection again.

With Lexa.

“How are you holding up, Clarke?” Octavia touched her shoulder to get her attention.

“I’m good,” Clarke said with false cheer. She couldn’t stop worrying about Lexa even though she knew she was okay minus the possible refracture. She decided to not bring up what happened with Dax yet, Clarke wanted to tell Lexa before anyone else.

She deserved to be first.

“Did they say how long it would take?” Anya grumbled and earned a shove from Raven.

“It takes as long as it takes,” Clarke shrugged her shoulders and looked towards the doors again, almost willing Lexa to come through the door. She wished she could be like bewitched and twitch her nose to make Lexa appear.

Too bad real life didn’t work that way.

“You sound like Lexa,” Raven smirked and Clarke did her best to hide her blush, but failed.

“That a bad thing?” Clarke said with nonchalance as she tore her eyes away from the door to look at Raven.

“Nope, not at all,” Raven’s grin only widened and Clarke knew Raven was up to something.

“Whatever, Rae,” Clarke rolled her eyes and went back to staring at the door. At the moment, she didn’t care what her friend was thinking because she knew Raven was up to no good as usual. Clake knew no matter how much or how long she stared, it wouldn’t make time go any faster. She knew that from when she came with her mother.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief that her mom didn’t work in the ER anymore. She was the last person she cared to see right now.

“I feel like we’ve been here more often than not recently,” Lincoln shook his head and looked around, “Why do they always smell funny?”

“I’ve been wondering the same thing for years,” Clarke voiced and was slightly surprised Lincoln was talking so much. Before today, she had only heard him say a couple words.

“Can’t argue with you there, it reeks. Like sterile or some shit,” Octavia blew a kiss towards her boyfriend and Clarke was suddenly aware she was the fifth wheel and absolutely hated it.

It was never this bad when she had Lexa by her side. Just then the doors opened and Lexa came walking through with a slight limp.

Clarke’s eyes went straight to the boot on her lower leg and she jumped up, “Fuck.”

She startled everyone else who whipped around and Clarke saw them get up as well when they noticed Lexa. Anya was the first one to get to her and Lexa laughed when Anya wrapped her up in a hug.

“How bad?” Anya asked with everyone else crowding around. Clarke hung back not wanting to intrude.

“It’s more a precaution than anything. Just for a week or so,” Lexa smiled, “At least it’s not the stupid crutches,” Lexa looked around and Clarke wondered who or what she was looking for, but when Lexa’s eyes locked with hers, the look of relief passed over her features and Clarke knew Lexa had been looking for her.

“We’re glad to hear that, this one was worried.” Raven indicated towards her girlfriend.

“Was not,” Anya scoffed, but Clarke knew she was lying and trying to be her badass self.

“Whatever you say,” Raven kissed her cheek. Anya rolled her eyes, but grinned, “Really though, we’re happy you’re okay,” Raven said to Lexa and slapped her on the shoulder before turning to Anya, “Babe, feed me, I’m hungry.”

Everyone laughed. Anya smiled, “You’re always hungry.”

“Exactly, so I say again, feed me!” Raven looked around at the rest of them, “You all coming?”

“We will,” Octavia answered for her and Lincoln.

“I’m gonna pass, I’m tired,” Clarke yawned to emphasis her point.

“Me too,” Lexa said locking eyes with Clarke again, “I want to just relax.”

“Sure you do,” Raven looked between them and grinned, “If you say so.”

“Stay safe,” Octavia tossed the truck keys at her, “See you later.”

“Bye!” They all said and disappeared leaving Clarke alone with Lexa.

Clarke strode forward because the distance was too far for her liking even if it was only a few feet, “I’m glad it wasn’t more serious...I…” She hesitated, “I was worried.”

“No need to worry, I’m okay,” Lexa nodded, “But I was slightly worried as well,” Lexa breathed out, “Thank you for waiting.”

“Of course,” Clarke paused, “I wanted too.” She prayed she wasn’t saying too much or overstepping the line they’d drawn at friends.

“Can we talk?” Lexa licked her lips and Clarke was distracted by the slide of Lexa’s pink tongue across her lips.

“Yes,” Clarke smiled, but it felt forced because she hadn't a clue what was going on, “I know just the place if that’s alright with you,” Clarke fiddled with the keys in her hand.  
It did little to calm the sudden anxiety she felt at what Lexa wanted to talk to about. Was she rethinking their friendship? Did she change her mind about pressing charges? Did she not trust Clarke’s word over Alie’s? The questions she had rattled in her head as she tried to take a calming breath.

Too _many_ thoughts for that to work effectively.

“Lead the way,” Lexa motioned for her to go first. She did and Clarke felt Lexa sidle up right next to her, close enough that their shoulders brushed as they walked.

The fact that Lexa didn't move to put space between them was a relief, but when Clarke turned to say something, she tripped over her own feet and would have smacked her face if it wasn't for Lexa catching her.

“You good?” Lexa smiled knowingly.

“Mhmm...all good,” Clarke straightened her shoulders when though her face was flushed in embarrassment, “Shall we continue?”

“Sure.”

As they walked out of the sliding glass doors, Clarke just hoped that she somehow didn't screw it up with Lexa.

_Again._

-=-

Lexa smiled when she realized where Clarke was taking her. It had surprised her when she found Clarke at her spot not long ago. Of course, they would have the same place they went to when they needed to think. The place where they started _over_ as friends.

Even though, Lexa knew then that Clarke could never just be a friend.

She struggled with being friends with Clarke, but knew it was what they both needed at the time, but Lexa had problems not thinking about the one mindblowing kiss they had. It took a little longer than Lexa expected to come to terms with her feelings, but Clarke had given her the time she needed and respected it.

Now, Lexa was sure and she wanted Clarke. Lexa followed Clarke up the small hill to the bench and made herself comfortable next to Clarke.

The silence between them _stretched_ on and Lexa found in peaceful that they could enjoy each other’s company without saying anything. She found it refreshing that Clarke didn’t feel the need to fill the silence. Instead Clarke was leaned back with her legs crossed underneath her and her had back against the bench. The only thing that betrayed Clarke’s calmness was the tapping of her fingers against her leg. Another reason, Lexa though they’d be a good match because Costia hated the silence and would always interrupt, but not Clarke.

Her smile widened. Lexa took another moment to steady her nerves and wiped her clammy hands on her pants before taking a deep breath. She turned to face Clarke who still had her eyes closed.

“Clarke,” Lexa voiced softly. Clarke opened her eyes and looked at her, “There was something I wanted to talk to you about,” Lexa stuttered slightly and blushed scarlett.

Clarke nodded and smiled, a silent invitation to continue.

“I don’t think I can put it into words, but I’ll try,” Lexa scooted closer and felt like a teenager trying to ask her crush out. Which was exactly what she wanted to do if she could just find the words.

“You can _tell_ me anything, Lex,” The nickname falling easily from Clarke’s lips. Usually she hated nicknames, but coming from Clarke, Lexa didn’t mind one bit, “I want you to be able to trust me,” Clarke’s blue eyes portrayed her sincerity.

“I am starting to trust you again, Clarke,” Lexa volunteered and watched Clarke’s eyes fill with tears. Lexa didn’t mean to say it, but she realized it was true. Clarke had been earning her trust back little by little

“What? You are? But how…” Clarke looked down and Lexa couldn’t take anymore.

She laid a hand on Clarke’s forearm drawing her eyes back up, “You’ve shown me in countless ways that you can be trusted again, Clarke. One mistake doesn’t define who you are.”

“Thank you, Lexa,” Clarke breathed out, “That means more to me than you know even though I feel like I don’t deserve you to trust me so easily again.”

Lexa shook her head and cupped Clarke’s face in her hands, locking eyes with Clarke’s startled gaze, “ _You_ do. You're earning it, Clarke.”

Without thinking twice about it, Lexa leaned in and brushed Clarke’s hair back from her face. Lexa’s gaze darted down to Clarke’s tempting bottom lip and back up, “You’re so beautiful.” Lexa murmured not sure if Clarke heard or not.

Clarke had.

“Thank you,” Clarke blush spread across her cheeks and down her neck. Clarke licked her lips and Lexa followed the movement with her eyes.

This was her chance.

Lexa wound one hand around the back of Clarke’s neck and pulled Clarke against her. Clarke gasped, but Lexa swallowed it her mouth pressed insistently against Clarke’s.

Lexa kept it soft and tender at first and almost pulled back when at first Clarke didn’t respond. Freaking out, Lexa started to pull back, but Clarke’s hand snaked around her back and kept her in place.

“Lexa,” Clarke moaned against her lips and it was music to her ears. She could get used to hearing Clarke say her name like that.

This was _not_ a mistake. This right here with Clarke’s lips moving against hers was what she’d been craving ever since their first kiss. Lexa pushed forward even more where she was almost straddling Clarke on the bench. She kissed her harder, opening her mouth when Clarke licked across her bottom lip. The first sweep of Clarke’s tongue was magic. She tasted like the chocolate she had in the car. It was intoxicating and Lexa wanted more.

In the back of her mind, Lexa knew the kiss was getting out of control with their wandering hands, when she realized her hand had trailed down Clarke’s chest and over her breast. Lexa broke the kiss, heaving in air, but still left one last tender kiss on Clarke’s swollen lips.

Clarke’s eyes fluttered open to reveal her ocean blue eyes almost completely eclipsed by black. Lexa removed her hands slowly and had to clench them at her sides to prevent herself from reaching back out.

Lexa _didn’t_ want to rush this. Whatever it was than had been brewing between them since they met.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered like a prayer, “I…” She paused when she saw Clarke’s’ face. Tears pooled in her eyes and her bottom lip trembled, “What’s wrong?”

“Please don’t tell me that was another mistake…” Clarke’s voice broke and it came out as broken whimper.

Lexa reached out and stroked Clarke’s cheek, wanting to reassure her. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, but Lexa licked her lips and pushed forward to kiss her again. This time it was short and sweet with Clarke chasing her lips when she pulled back.

“It was not a mistake. It never could be. Not with you,” Lexa whispered wiping the tear that leaked from the corner of Clarke’s right eye.

“What does it mean?” Clarke’s voice betrayed her and Lexa could hear the hope tinged in her voice. Lexa couldn’t help but smile.

It seemed like Clarke wanted this just as much as she did. Or at least Lexa hoped she did.

“Will you go on a date with me?” Lexa rushed out quickly.

It felt like _forever_ to her waiting for Clarke’s answer.


End file.
